"In writing fiction, the more fantastic the tale, the plainer the prose should be. Don't ask your readers to admire your words when you want them to believe your story." - Ben Bova [ more quotes ]

"YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN"

Screenplay

by

Gene Wilder

FIRST DRAFT



FADE IN

EXT. FRANKENSTEIN CASTLE

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

A CRACK OF THUNDER!

On a distant, rainy hill, the old Frankenstein castle, as we
knew and loved it, is illuminated by ANOTHER BOLT OF
LIGHTNING.

MUSIC: AN EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY begins to PLAY in the
b.g.

ANOTHER ANGLE

as we MOVE SLOWLY CLOSER to the castle. It is completely
dark, except for one room -- a study in the corner of the
castle -- which is only lit by candles.

Now we are just outside a rain-splattered window of the study.
We LOOK IN and SEE:

INT. STUDY - NIGHT

An open coffin rests on a table we can not see it's contents.

As the CAMERA SLOWLY CIRCLES the coffin for a BETTER VIEW...

A CLOCK BEGINS TO CHIME: "ONE," "TWO," "THREE," "FOUR..." We
are ALMOST FACING the front of the coffin. "FIVE," "SIX,"
"SEVEN," "EIGHT..."

The CAMERA STOPS. Now it MOVES UP AND ABOVE the satin-lined
coffin. "NINE," "TEN," "ELEVEN," "T W E L V E!"

CUT TO:

THE EMBALMED HEAD OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

Half of still clings to the waxen balm; the other half has
decayed to skull. Below his head is a skeleton, whose bony
fingers cling to a metal box.

A HAND

reaches in to grasp the metal box. It lifts the box halfway
out of the coffin -- the skeleton's fingers rising,
involuntarily, with the box.

Then, as of by force of will, the skeleton's fingers grab
the box back and place it where it was.

Now the "Hand" -- using its other hand -- grabs the box back
from the skeleton's fingers. The skeleton no longer resists.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

whose "Hands" we have just seen, now carries the box to a
small table. He takes a tiny key out from his vest pocket
and begins to unlock the metal box.

NINE PEOPLE watch him closely. They are seated on chairs in
the study, waiting to hear the contents of Beaufort
Frankenstein's will. Their dress is turn-of-the-century
Transylvanian.

Cornelius Waldman fumbles with the lock, emitting strange
grunts as he tries to open it. With each grunt, the face of
a "potential Heir" is SEEN, squirming with frustration or
anger.

FIRST VILLAGER (WALTER)
Fumbling fool! For two kronen I'd
rip that box fight out of his hands.

ILSE (HIS WIFE)
Shhh!

NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER (HENRICH)
Hurry. Idiot, hurry!

AGATHA (HIS WIFE)
Quiet, Henrich! We've waited seventy
years... another three or four seconds
won't hurt.

NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER
Another three of four more seconds?
I could be dead by then.

AGATHA
Shhh!

FIFTH VILLAGER (A MAN)
What if he's left you out?

HELENE (HIS GIRL FRIEND)
Just let him try -- I'll take care
of him.

ANASTASIA (A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN)
Oh, Mommy...I hardly remember. Did
the Baron really like me when I was
a child?

MARLENE (HER MOTHER)
Like a father!

NINTH VILLAGER (WOLFGANG)
(muttering to himself)
Wenn dieser Bloder kerl sich nicht
beeilt verde ich verruckt. Was zum
Teufel machte?

MARLENE
Shhh!

Cornelius Waldman finally opens the lock. He takes out an
old parchment, puts on his glasses, coughs and sputters a
few times, and then begins to read.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
'I, Beaufort Frankenstein, in this
my eighty third year of life, do
hereby make, publish and declare the
following statements as and for my
last will and testament, and I direct
my executor, Cornelius Waldman, to
inform and assemble those persons
previously divulged to him, that
they may hear -- in my own voice --
the final disposition of my property.'

At the words, "In my own voice," the nine "Potential Heirs"
exchange curious glances.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
(still reading)
'Such disposition to commerce at the
hour of twelve o'clock of my one
hundredth birthday. If all the
conditions heretofore set forth have
been met, now then -- hear once more,
and for the last time...the
authenticity of my own voice!'

Cornelius Waldman nos to a Clerk, HERR FALKSTEIN, who is
standing nearby.

Herr Falkstein places the needle of an old victrola onto an
already spinning record. It SCRATCHES and then begins to
PLAY.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN
(o.s.)
How do you do this thing? Where? In
here? Just talk right into it? All
right. Am I close enough? All right,
all right -- get the hell out of the
way.
(He clears his throat,
then speaks in a
deep, majestic voice)
The once proud name of Frankenstein
has been dragged, by my only son,
Victor, into an abyss of shame. There
was a time when the name
'Frankenstein' conjured dreams of
virtue, of honor and devotion. Now,
no guilt, no malignity, no misery
can be found to equal mine. And the
catalogue of sins of my once devoted
son will not cease to rankle in my
wounds until death shall close them
forever -- so supremely frightful is
the effect of any human endeavor to
mock the stupendous mechanism of the
Creator of the world. Did you get
all that? Are you sure you got 'rankle
in my wounds'? I'll kill you if you
screw this up. All right, all right.
Now as to the disposition of my
estate.

Everyone in the room sits alert.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN
(o.s)
To my cousins, Henrich and Agatha...

CUT TO:

THE NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER AND HIS WIFE

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN
(o.s.)
...and to my cousin Walter and his
wife Ilse...

CUT TO:

WALTER AND ILSE

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN
(o.s)
...and to my niece Helene...

CUT TO:

HELENE

sitting with her boyfriend.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN
(o.s)
...and my dear nephew Wolfgang...

CUT TO:

WOLFGANG

sitting alone.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN
(o.s.)
...and lastly, to my cherished old
friend, Marlene, and her charming
daughter, Anastasia...

CUT TO:

ANASTASIA AND HER MOTHER

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN
(o.s.)
...to all of you, in equal shares, I
hereby give, devise and bequeath,
absolutely and without any
restrictions whatsoever, all property
of every sort and description, whether
real, personal or mixed, to which my
estate shall be entitled.

HENRICH AND AGATHA

are hugging each other.

WALTER AND ILSE

hugging each other.

HELENE AND ANASTASIA

hugging each other.

WOLFGANG

is hugging himself.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN
(o.s.)
Unless...!

GROUP SHOT

They all look up suddenly from their hugging.

ANOTHER ANGLE

SCRATCH, SCRATCH, SCRATCH... the needle has reached the end
of the first side.

HERR FALKSTEIN

lifts the arm off and turns the record over.

HERR FALKSTEIN
(apologetically)
It's a seventy eight.

He places the needle on the record.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN
(o.s.)
...Unless... my only male heir, my
great-grandson, Frederick -- whom I
have never seen but who is, at the
time of this recording, ten years of
age and residing in America with my
granddaughter, Katherine -- has, by
his own free will, embraced Medicine
as his career and acquitted himself
with some measure of esteem. Then,
to him I leave... everything!

The nine "Potential Heirs" are expressionless.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN
(o.s.)
My castle, together with its
laboratory, its public and private
library, and all notes and journals
contained therein, all acreage
surrounding my estate, plus all income
and principle thereof... in the fond
hope that yet another Frankenstein
shall lift our family name to an
eminence of dignity, and sanity,
that it once enjoyed. As for my dear
friends and relations, should this
latter improbability come to be... I
know that I have your complete
understanding. For the road to
salvation and repentance must be
paved up the avenue of my soul, and
not up yours, up yours, up yours, up
yours, up yours...

Herr Falkstein removes the needle from the finished record.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
Herr Falkstein! Did you inform
Frederick Frankenstein of this
assembly and all the particulars of
the time and place?

HERR FALKSTEIN
I did, sir.

He takes a cablegram out from his pocket.

HERR FALKSTEIN
But I received a cable only this
morning, saying that he could not
come.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
Was he aware of the importance of
this occasion?

HERR FALKSTEIN
Yes, sir, he was. But he said he was
obligated to lecture at Johns Hopkins
University.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
What lecture could be more important
than the will of Baron Beaufort
Frankenstein?

HERR FALKSTEIN
(reading the cable)
'Functional areas of the cerebrum in
relation to the skull.'

The Ninety-Year-Old Villager passes out.

ANASTASIA
(very sweetly)
Excuse me, Mr. Waldman -- excuse me
for interrupting. But is Frederick,
then... a medical doctor?

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
Yes, my dear, he is.

ANASTASIA
And has he achieved... any special
degree of eminence?

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
He is the fifth leading authority in
his field.

ANASTASIA
(sinking her head
into her hand)
Oh, shit.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
Herr Falkstein -- you must go at
once and present Dr. Frankenstein
with all the details of his
inheritance. The estate will provide
for your journey.

HELENE
I object, Herr Waldman! This is a
travesty. If the beloved great-
grandson cared anything at all for
the House of Frankenstein, he would
have shown it by being here with
those of us who still have some
respect. I think we should completely
disregard the afterthoughts of a
very old man.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
Madam -- the foundation of
civilization rests upon adherence to
the law. And the Law is the Law. Das
Gesetz ist das Gesetz!

Wolfgang -- the man who mutters only in German -- CRASHES
the back of his head halfway into the wall behind him.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
Herr Falkstein! You have your
instructions!

HERR FALKSTEIN
Yes, sir.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
I have taken an oath that each letter
of this testament shall be executed...
and by God, it shall be done!

The lid of Beaufort Frankenstein's coffin SLAMS SHUT by
itself.

DISSOLVE TO:

LEGEND ON THE SCREEN

It reads:

JOHNS HOPKINS HOSPITAL

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND

INT. MEDICAL ARENA - DAY

Herr Falkstein quietly enters into the balcony of an arena
packed with young MEDICAL STUDENTS. A lecture is in progress.

LECTURER'S VOICE
(o.s.)
If we look at the base of a brain
which has just been removed from a
skull, there's very little of the
midbrain that we can actually see.

Herr Falkstein proceeds, almost on tiptoe, along the aisle
towards a vacant seat. He is carrying a briefcase and a small
metal box.

LECTURER'S VOICE
(o.s.)
Yet, as I demonstrated in my lecture
last week, if the under aspects of
the temporal lobes are gently pulled
apart, the upper portion of the stem
of the brain can be seen.

Herr Falkstein's footsteps ECHO ever so lightly against the
cold stone floor, as he passes the faces of students intense
with concentration.

LECTURER'S VOICE
(o.s.)
This so called 'brain stem' consists
of the midbrain, a rounded protrusion
called the pons, and a stalk tapering
downwards called the medulla oblongata
which passes out of the skull through
the foramen magnum and becomes, of
course... the spinal cord.

Herr Falkstein finds a vacant place and sits down.

LECTURER'S VOICE
(o.s.)
Which brings us directly to the
demonstration prepared for today.
Are there any questions before we
proceed?

MEDICAL STUDENT
(rising)
I have one question, Dr. Frankenstein.

CUT TO:

ANOTHER ANGLE

Our first LOOK at the famous Lecturer.

FREDDY
That's 'Fronkonsteen.'

MEDICAL STUDENT
I beg your pardon?

FREDDY
My name is pronounced Fron kon steen.

MEDICAL STUDENT
Oh! I thought it was Dr. Frankenstein.

FREDDY
No, it's Dr. Fronkonsteen!

MEDICAL STUDENT
But aren't you the grandson of the
famous Dr. Victor Frankenstein?...
who performed such fascinating
experiments in electricity and
galvanism?

FREDDY
That's true! But my grandfather,
Victor was, after all, what we might
politely refer to as... a cuckoo!

Polite laughter.

FREDDY
I prefer, by far, to be remembered
for my own small contributions to
science. Now if we can proceed to
your questions.

MEDICAL STUDENT
Well sir... I'm not sure I understand
the distinction between 'Reflexive'
and 'Voluntary' nerve impulses.

FREDDY
Very good! Since our lab work today
is a demonstration of just that
distinction... why don't we proceed?

Behind Freddy is a PATIENT, lying on an operating table.

CARLSON, an assistant, stands near the Patient, next to a
small table of instruments.

FREDDY
What are we actually talking about
when we use the term, 'Brain'? We
are talking about... a cauliflower!

Freddy turns to Carlson.

FREDDY
May I have the cauliflower, please!

Carlson hands Freddy a giant cauliflower.

FREDDY
If we make a small slit, down the
center of this cauliflower...

Freddy turns to Carlson, who hands him the scalpel. Freddy
makes a small slit down the center of the cauliflower.

FREDDY
...and then, ever so gently, gently,
gently... pull it apart...

Freddy has some difficulty pulling the cauliflower apart.

It begins to crumble, but he goes on, professionally.

FREDDY
...we should find, with any luck at
all... a stalk of... celery!

There is no celery inside the cauliflower. Freddy flushes
red.

FREDDY
(to Carlson)
Where did you get this cauliflower?

CARLSON
From your office, sir.

FREDDY
Didn't you prepare it with the celery
before my lecture?

CARLSON
Yes, sir. But I must have taken the
wrong one when we came up.

FREDDY
(in quiet rage)
Are you trying to make me look like
an idiot?

CARLSON
No, sir. It will never happen again.

FREDDY
(handing him the
cauliflower)
Here! This cauliflower is useless to
me.

Freddy turns back to his audience.

FREDDY
With any normal cauliflower, we would
have found a stalk of celery, or...
'Brain Stem' which brings us to the
practical application of our study.

Freddy moves behind the Patient on the table.

FREDDY
Mr. Hilltop here -- with whom I have
never worked of given any prior
instructions to -- has graciously
offered his services for this
afternoon's demonstration. Mr.
Hilltop!

HILLTOP
Yes, sir?

FREDDY
Have we ever seen each other before
this afternoon?

HILLTOP
No, sir.

FREDDY
Tell them!

HILLTOP
(turning to the Medical
Students)
No, sir -- we haven't.

FREDDY
(to his audience)
Do I lie?
(to Mr. Hilltop)
Would you be so kind enough to hop
up on your feet and stand beside
this table.

Mr. Hill top gets off of the table and stands erect.

FREDDY
Mr. Hilltop! Would you raise your
left knee, please!

Mr. Hilltop raises his left knee.

FREDDY
You have just witnessed a 'Voluntary'
nerve impulse. It begins as a stimulus
from the cerebral cortex, passes
through the brain stem and then to
the particular muscle involved. Mr.
Hilltop, you may lower your knee.

He lowers his knee.

FREDDY
Reflex movements are those which are
made independently of the will, but
are carried out along pathways which
pass between the periphery and the
central nervous system. You filthy,
rotten, yellow son of a BITCH!

Freddy pokes his knee close to Mr. Hilltop's balls.

Mr. Hilltop reacts accordingly.

FREDDY
We are not aware of the impulses,
neither do we intend them to contract
our muscles. Yet -- as you can see --
they work by themselves.

By this time, Mr. Hilltop has lowered his protective thigh...
a little nervously.

FREDDY
Now then! Modern research has shown
us that by simply applying local
pressure of 'blocking' the nerve
impulse... which can be done with
any ordinary metal clamp...

Freddy reaches out his hand. Carlson hands him a bicycle
clamp. Freddy holds Mr. Hilltop's head and places the clamp
behind Mr. Hilltop's ears.

FREDDY
...Just at the swelling on the
posterior nerve root -- for, oh say
five or six seconds...

A short pause. Freddy looks at his watch.

FREDDY
Why you mother-grabbing BASTARD!

Freddy once again jerks his knee close to Mr. Hilltop's balls.
This time Mr. Hilltop doesn't move. He is almost ready to
pass out.

FREDDY
All communication is shut off.

Similarly, damage to a nerve will mean that not all the
impulses can get through and there will be weakness of a
muscle...

Mr. Hilltop collapses to the floor. Freddy never looks down.

FREDDY
...or group of muscles, with some
loss of skin sensation on the area
supplied by that nerve. In spite of
our mechanical magnificence, if there
is not this continuous stream of
impulses... we would collapse like...
a bunch of broccoli.

A smattering of POLITE APPLAUSE. Freddy reaches down and
removes the metal clamp from Mr. Hilltop's head.

FREDDY
(to Carlson)
Give him an extra dollar.

CARLSON
Yes, sir.

Carlson picks up Mr. Hilltop and places him on the operating
table.

FREDDY
In conclusion... it should be noted
that more than common injury to the
nerve roots is always serious,
because... once a nerve fiber is
severed... there is no way to
regenerate life back into it. Are
there any more questions before we
leave?

MEDICAL STUDENT
Dr. Fronkonsteen!

FREDDY
Yes?

MEDICAL STUDENT
Isn't it true that Darwin preserved
a piece of vermicelli in a glass
case until, by some extraordinary
means, it actually began to move
with voluntary motion?

FREDDY
A piece of what?

MEDICAL STUDENT
Vermicelli.

FREDDY
Are you speaking of the worm, or...
the spaghetti.

FREDDY
Why the worm, Sir.

FREDDY
Ah! In science you must be very
precise -- it can spell the difference
between life and death.
(to Carlson)
I don't want that fellow in class
next semester.

CARLSON
Yes, sir.

FREDDY
He has a big mouth.
(to Medical Student)
Yes! It seems to me I did read
something about that incident as a
student. But you have to remember
that a worm -- with very few
exceptions -- is not a human being.

MEDICAL STUDENT
But wasn't that the whole basis of
your grandfathers work, sir...? the
re-animation of component parts?

FREDDY
My father was a sick man.

MEDICAL STUDENT
But aren't you the least bit curious
about it, Doctor? Doesn't the secret
of life hold any intrigue for you?

FREDDY
You are talking about the gibberish
ravings of a lunatic mind.

MEDICAL STUDENT
Yes, but, sir... if it could be
accomplished, wouldn't that eliminate
disease from the human frame and
render man invulnerable to any but a
violent death?

FREDDY
How old are you, young man?

MEDICAL STUDENT
Nineteen, sir.

FREDDY
Nineteen! My dear young man... once
the human organism has ceased to
function, nature has deemed that
creature to be dead.

MEDICAL STUDENT
But look at what's been done with
hearts and kidneys!

FREDDY
Hearts and kidneys are Tinker Toys!
I'm talking about the Central Nervous
System.

MEDICAL STUDENT
But, sir...

FREDDY
I am a scientist...! Not a
philosopher.

He holds up his scalpel.

FREDDY
You have more chance of re-animating
this knife than you have of mending
a broken nervous system,

MEDICAL STUDENT
But your grandfather's work, sir...

FREDDY
My grandfather's work was Doo-Doo!
Dead is Dead! There's only one thing
I am interested in... and that is
the preservation of LIFE!

POLITE APPLAUSE. However, on the word "Life," Freddy has
plunged the scalpel into his thigh by mistake. No one but
Freddy and the Movie Audience is aware of this.

FREDDY
Class... is... dismissed!

The students begin to leave.

FREDDY
Carlson!

CARLSON
Yes, sir?

FREDDY
Bring me some surgical gauze, a little
tape and some disinfectant.

CARLSON
Yes, sir. Do you want the other
cauliflower?

FREDDY
...No!

Herr Falkstein approaches with the metal box.

HERR FALKSTEIN
Dr. Frankenstein?

FREDDY
(through his teeth)
Fron kon steen!

HERR FALKSTEIN
My name is Gerhart Falkstein.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. A CITY STREET - DAY

Herr Falkstein and Freddy are walking along the sidewalk.

In the distance, a little OLD VIOLINIST, wearing a Tyrolean
hat, plays a cheerful tune on his violin. His open violin
case rests on the ground beside him.

FREDDY
One hundred thousand dollars???

HERR FALKSTEIN
Oh, at least, sir. The land alone is
worth a small fortune.

FREDDY
But I can't just drop everything and
leave. I have responsibilities and
obligations.

HERR FALKSTEIN
Do you have a hundred thousand of
them, sir?

Freddy looks at Herr Falkstein. The little Old Violinist has
finished his cheerful tune. He now plays the eerie
Transylvanian Lullaby that was heard at the opening.

FREDDY
How long will this whole thing take?

HERR FALKSTEIN
A week. Ten days at most.

FREDDY
I'll have to think it over. It's not
so easy just to pick up and...

Freddy stops -- the music seeping into a dark and forgotten
corner of his brain.

FREDDY
Curious melody! Haunting, isn't it?

Freddy, followed by Herr Falkstein, walks back a few steps
and stands next to the Old Violinist as he plays.

FREDDY
What's that tune that you're playing

OLD VIOLINIST
Zis is an old Transylvanian Lullaby.

FREDDY
How sweet! Such a quaint little tune.

Freddy rubs his temples with his fingertips for a moment.

FREDDY
May I see your violin?

OLD VIOLINIST
(handing Freddy the
violin)
It's an honor for me, sir. You play
the violin?

FREDDY
Oh, just a little.

Freddy examines the violin.

FREDDY
Nice! Nice little balance to it.

OLD VIOLINIST
Ja, ja.

Freddy, without any emotion, smashes the violin over his
knee and then hands the two halves back to the Old Violinist.

FREDDY
Thank you very much.

The Old Violinist takes the two halves, open-mouthed.

FREDDY
(to Herr Falkstein)
Well... if you're sure that I could
accomplish everything in a week... I
suppose I could manage it.

HERR FALKSTEIN
Why did you do that?

FREDDY
What?

HERR FALKSTEIN
Break that old man's violin.

FREDDY
I didn't do that.

HERR FALKSTEIN
The old violinist -- you smashed his
violin over your knee.

FREDDY
I did not do that. Why would I do a
thing like that...? Are you insane?

LEGEND ON THE SCREEN

It reads:

"IS THIS THE FIRST SIGN OF A SPLIT PERSONALITY?"

BACK TO THE SCENE

Now Freddy and Herr Falkstein are standing on a corner.

FREDDY
All right then, I suppose I owe the
family that much. You'll have
everything ready for me when I arrive?

HERR FALKSTEIN
Yes, sir.

FREDDY
One week at the most!?

HERR FALKSTEIN
One week -- I'll see to it, sir.

FREDDY
Well, thank you very much for all
your trouble.

They shake hands.

HERR FALKSTEIN
Not at all -- a great privilege,
Doctor.

FREDDY
Saturday night then! I'll take the
train to New York and fly from there.

HERR FALKSTEIN
Saturday night, yes, sir. Have a
pleasant journey!

Freddy walks off. Herr Falkstein looks back at the little
Old Violinist, who is playing the TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY on
the top half of his violin.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. TRAIN STATION - NIGHT

Freddy, with a large suitcase and a small briefcase, stands
next to a lot of steam... behind which, there appears to be
a waiting train. With Freddy is his beautiful, flat-chested
fiancee, ELIZABETH.

ELIZABETH
Darling!... you will be careful!?

FREDDY
Of course.

ELIZABETH
You have your tickets?

FREDDY
Yes.

ELIZABETH
And your passport?

FREDDY
Yes, don't worry.

ELIZABETH
Call me from New York before you
leave??

FREDDY
Yes.

ELIZABETH
Promise??

FREDDY
I promise.

ELIZABETH
Oh, darling -- I'll count the hours
that you're away.

FREDDY
Oh, darling -- so will I.

CONDUCTOR
(o.s.)
Board! All aboard!

FREDDY
I'd better leave.

They look at each other; then kiss.

ELIZABETH
Will you miss me?

FREDDY
Very.... very!

ELIZABETH
Mother's going to help me with the
invitations.

FREDDY
Oh, nice.

ELIZABETH
I hope you like large weddings.

FREDDY
Whatever makes you happy.

ELIZABETH
I've trimmed the list to only our
very closest friends... but it still
comes to three thousand.

FREDDY
You're incorrigible!

ELIZABETH
Does that mean you love me?

FREDDY
You bet your boots it does.

CONDUCTOR
(o.s.)
All aboard!

ELIZABETH
Hurry now -- before I make a fool of
myself.

They kiss quickly.

FREDDY
Goodbye, darling.

Freddy DISAPPEARS into the steam.

ELIZABETH
Goodbye, Freddy! Hurry back to me!

FREDDY
(o.s., from the steam)
I will! Goodbye, darling!

ELIZABETH
Goodbye, darling.

A long pause, as Elizabeth gazes into the mass of steam.

She wipes a tear from her eye.

ELIZABETH
(whispering to herself)
Goodbye, darling.

FREDDY
(o.s., from the steam)
Goodbye, darling!

A TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS.

ANGLE ON TRAIN

The train starts up.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TRAIN - NIGHT

Freddy is sitting in a passenger car, reading a book.

A FEW PEOPLE sit near him.

A CONDUCTOR

walks down the aisle.

CONDUCTOR
New York next! Everyone out for New
York!

Freddy looks out the window.

DISSOLVE TO:

TRAIN - (STOCK) - NIGHT

whizzing through the night.

CUT TO:

INT. TRAIN - SUNSET

Freddy is sitting in a passenger car, reading a book.

A FEW EUROPEANS sit near him.

LEGEND OVER THE SCREEN

It reads:

"SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE"

A CONDUCTOR

wearing a Tyrolean Conductor's hat, walks down the aisle.

CONDUCTOR
Transylvania nachste! Jeder austeigen
fur TRANSYLVANIA!

Freddy looks out the window. He reaches up and takes his
suitcase and briefcase off of the rack above him. Then he
raises his window and looks out at:

TEN YEAR-OLD GERMAN BOY

dressed in lederhosen, a cap, and a shoeshine kit on his
back.

FREDDY
(calling out to him)
Pardon me, boy! Is that the
Transylvania Station?

GERMAN BOY
Ja, this is track twenty-nine.

He starts OFF.

GERMAN BOY
Oh, can I give you a shine?

FREDDY
Thank you, no.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. TRAIN STATION - NIGHT

Freddy gets off the ancient train and looks for someone who
might be there to meet him. he sets down his suitcase and
briefcase.

ANOTHER ANGLE

From out of the darkness, IGOR, a strange man with a hunched
back, walks towards him. Behind Igor is a woman, INGA.

IGOR
Frederick Frankenstein?

FREDDY
Fron kon steen!

IGOR
Are you putting me on?

FREDDY
No, it's pronounced Fron kon steen.

IGOR
And do you also say Fro dereck?

FREDDY
No, Fred ereck.

IGOR
Why isn't it Frodereck Fronkon steen?

FREDDY
It's not. It's Fredereck Fronkonsteen.

IGOR
I see.

FREDDY
You must be Igor.

Igor thinks a moment.

IGOR
No, it's pronounced Aye gor.

FREDDY
But they told me it was Ee gor.

IGOR
Well, they were wrong then, weren't
they?

FREDDY
You were sent by Herr Falkstein,
weren't you?

IGOR
Yes, that's right. My grandfather
and your grandfather used to pal
around together. You and I should
have a lot of laughs.

FREDDY
I'm sure we will.

IGOR
(indicating the large-
breasted woman behind
him)
This is Inga. They thought you might
need an assistant temporarily.

FREDDY
How do you do?

INGA
Extremely well.

FREDDY
How nice.

IGOR
Are these your bags?

FREDDY
Yes, just the two.

Igor takes the small briefcase and walks OFF. Freddy takes
the large suitcase and follows with Inga.

INGA
Did you have a pleasant trip?

FREDDY
Yes, thank you. It wasn't bad.

They follow Igor past two men -- Dracula and Wolfman -- who
are sitting quietly on a platform bench. One of the men wears
a huge black cape and has two enormous eye teeth.

The other man's face and hands are covered with wolf's hair.

IGOR
(singing to himself)
Sun -- rise... Sun -- set! Dee --
dum... Dee -- dum.

Freddy, struggling with his suitcase, stares in polite horror
at the two men as he and Inga walk past them.

FREDDY
Good evening.

DRACULA
Good evening.

WOLFMAN
Good evening.

Freddy and Inga continue on, walking under a dangling sign:

"TRANSYLVANIA STATION"

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - A FEW MINUTES LATER - NIGHT

A cart, drawn by two horses, travels up a lonely road.

Igor is at the reins. In the back, sitting in mountains of
hay, are Freddy and Inga.

INGA
Did you ever have a roll in the hay?

FREDDY
(a little nervous)
I'm not sure I... get your drift.

Inga begins to roll herself over and over in the hay.

INGA
You should try it -- it's fun.

Somewhat embarrassed, Freddy leans over to speak to Igor.

FREDDY
Incidentally -- I don't mean to
embarrass you in any way, but I'm a
rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I
can help you with that hump.

IGOR
What hump?

Freddy tries to recover.

FREDDY
Well... perhaps we can talk about it
later.

He turns back to Inga for relief. Just then: a BOLT OF
LIGHTNING! Inga comes close to Freddy.

INGA
Sometimes I'm afraid of the lightning.

FREDDY
Just an atmospheric discharge. Nothing
to be afraid of.

A HORRIFYING CRY OF A WOLF!

FREDDY
(making a joke)
Werewolf.

IGOR
There.

FREDDY
I beg your pardon?

IGOR
(pointing to the woods)
There wolf!
(pointing up the road)
There castle!

FREDDY
Why are you talking like that?

IGOR
I thought you wanted to.

FREDDY
No.

IGOR
Suit yourself... I'm easy.
(confidentially,
indicating Inga)
Better watch out for the wockers.

FREDDY
What wockers?

IGOR
The wockers with the knockers.

FREDDY
Wockers with the knockers???

IGOR
Go ahead, play dumb! You'll lose
your sockers and then be fockers.

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING.

IGOR
(pointing to the top
of the hill)
Well, there it is...

CUT TO:

THE CASTLE - NIGHT

illuminated by the lightning.

IGOR
(o.s., as we see the
castle)
Home!

FREDDY
(to himself)
Home.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. THE CASTLE

As they approach the gigantic front door, FRAU BLUCHER opens
a smaller door, within the giant door, and stands on the
front stairs to greet them. She holds a lit candelabra.

FRAU BLUCHER
Welcome! I am Frau Blucher.

At the sound of her name, the HORSES REAR.

IGOR
Down! Down! Steady!!

Freddy takes his suitcase and helps Inga out of the cart.

He approaches Frau Blucher.

FREDDY
How do you do? I am Dr. Fronkonsteen.

This is my assistant. Inga -- may I present Frau Blucher.

The HORSES REAR.

IGOR
Down! Get down, you beasts!

FREDDY
I wonder what's got into them?

FRAU BLUCHER
Your rooms are ready, Herr Doctor.
If you will follow me, please.

She indicates the small door.

FREDDY
(calling to Igor)
Aye-gor! We'll wait for you inside.
Hurry, please!

He turns to the door.

FREDDY
After you Frau Blucher.

The HORSES REAR. Freddy, Inga and Frau Blucher have
disappeared through the small door. Igor struggles with the
rearing horses.

IGOR
Easy. Easy! What's very sticky and
rhymes with shoe?

The horses calm down.

IGOR
That's better.

Igor takes Freddy's briefcase and heads for the door.

IGOR
(to the horses)
I'll be back shortly. Just think of
model airplanes.

Igor shuns the smaller door and pulls the handle that opens
the giant door. He walks into the castle.

CUT TO:

INT. RECEPTION HALL

Frau Blucher is waiting on a large staircase with Freddy and
Inga. Igor comes up to them.

FRAU BLUCHER
Shall we proceed?

They all follow in the aura of Frau Blucher's candlelight.

From outside there is a: LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER. When they
reach the top of the stairs, Frau Blucher starts down a
corridor. Igor walks up to a light switch and tries it.

ANOTHER ANGLE

as ALL THE LIGHTS COME ON. Igor turns the lights off again,
gesturing to Freddy not to say anything because Frau Blucher
might be a little bonkers. Inga, Freddy and Igor turn into
the corridor and disappear.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. FREDDY'S BEDROOM

A fire is going in the fire place. Candles are lit in wall
sconces. One wall is devoted to books.

FRAU BLUCHER
I hope you find this comfortable.
This was Baron Victor's room.

FREDDY
It seems fine.

FRAU BLUCHER
You'll fine the keys to all the rooms
in my cas... all the rooms in your
castle on this ring. I'll leave it
on the table here.

FREDDY
Does that include the key to the
laboratory?

FRAU BLUCHER
You mean... the laboratory??

FREDDY
Yes!... the laboratory.

FRAU BLUCHER
No! Dr. Frankenstein always kept
that separate.

FREDDY
May I have it, please?

A pregnant pause.

FRAU BLUCHER
Of course.

She pulls up on a chain around her neck. At the end of the
chain is a key that had been resting against her bosom.

She takes it off, kisses it quickly, and sets it on the table.

FREDDY
(examining the bookcase)
There seem to be quite a few books.

FRAU BLUCHER
Yes, this was Victor's... the Baron's
medical library.

FREDDY
I see. And where is my grandfather's
private library?

FRAU BLUCHER
I don't know what you mean, sir.

FREDDY
Well, there was a public and a private
library -- he said so in his will.
These books are all very general --
any doctor might have them in his
study.

FRAU BLUCHER
This is the only library I know of.

FREDDY
Surely he kept his notes -- his
private papers and records in some
other place?

FRAU BLUCHER
I think you must be mistaken, sir.

FREDDY
Well... we'll see.

FRAU BLUCHER
Will there be anything else?

FREDDY
I don't think so. Is my assistant
taken care of?

FRAU BLUCHER
I put her in the guest room, just
down the hall.

FREDDY
Good.

She leaves. Freddy starts back towards the bookcase and pulls
book.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Door opens and Inga enters.

INGA
Are you busy?

FREDDY
That's quite all right. What is it,
dear?

INGA
Could I lie down in your bed for a
little while? I just can't sleep.

FREDDY
We only arrived a few minutes ago.

INGA
I know, but usually I can fall asleep
right away. It must be the strange
room.

FREDDY
Well...

INGA
Oh please -- just till I get sleepy.
Then you can force me right back to
my room.

FREDDY
Well.. I suppose it would be all
right, for just a little while.

Inga gets into Freddy's bed.

FREDDY
Would you like a sandwich?

INGA
No, thanks! I want to get right to
sleep.

FREDDY
Well... I'll just finish unpacking.

As Freddy continues to unpack, he hears a STRANGE "BLOWING"
SOUND coming from outside. He goes to the window and looks
up.

CUT TO:

A TURRET AT THE TOP OF THE CASTLE

Igor sits in the window, trying to blow a ram's horn. He
tries and tries, but can't get one good sustained not.

Finally, he throws the ram's horns away and picks up a
trumpet. He blows some "SWEET" BLUES.

CUT TO:

FREDDY

lying in a chaise lounge near the bed, reading. He wears his
robe over his clothes. Freddy looks at Inga, who is sound
asleep. Now he drains the last of his glass of fruit juice
and sets it down on an end table. He turns over to sleep.
The CAMERA BEGINS TO PAN SLOWLY to the bedroom window. On
its way, we SEE: A FEW DROPS OF FRUIT JUICE dripping down
the inside of the glass that Freddy has just put down.

ANGLE THROUGH THE BEDROOM WINDOW (STOCK FOOTAGE)

CLOUDS PASS ACROSS A FULL MOON.

DISSOLVE TO:

LATER THAT NIGHT

Deadly silence! As the CAMERA PANS from the clouds, SLOWLY
BACK ACROSS THE ROOM, suddenly -- from the deep recesses or
the castle -- A VIOLIN IS HEARD PLAYING: THE EERIE
TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY. As the CAMERA reaches Freddy, he is
tossing restlessly in his sleep.

FREDDY
Stop it. Stop it, I tell you I don't
want to be perfect. Can't you
understand that? I don't want to be
perfect!

Freddy wakes with a start. He sits up and listens to the
MUSIC. Then he stands and crosses to the bed.

FREDDY
Inga!

INGA
(in her sleep)
Yes, you may... but don't make any
noise.

FREDDY
(shaking her)
Inga, wake up!

INGA
(slowly waking)
What is it? Is something wrong,
Doctor?

FREDDY
Listen! Don't you hear that strange
music?

INGA
(listening)
Yes! What could it be at this hour?

FREDDY
I don't know. It just woke me up.

Freddy goes to the bookcase; Inga follows.

FREDDY
It seem to be coming from behind
this bookcase.

He puts his ear against the books and then feels for some
hidden button or handle.

FREDDY
Hand me one of those candles!

Inga takes a candle from a wall sconce and hands it to Freddy.
He looks closely at the books, examining some of the titles.
One title reads:

INSERT - TITLE

"SEX AND HAIR GROWTH: IT'S UP TO YOU"

FREDDY

out of amazement, pulls the book from the shelf.

ANOTHER ANGLE

A small door opens in the bookcase.

INGA
Dr. Fronkonsteen -- look!

FREDDY
(listening through
the open door)
Whatever it is, it's coming from
down there. I'm going down to see.

INGA
Let me come with you, Doctor, please!
I don't want to stay up here alone.

FREDDY
All right then, quietly! Close your
robe and stay right behind me. Don't
make a sound!

They enter the secret passage.

INT. SECRET PASSAGE

Freddy, holding the candle above them, follows the MUSIC
down a narrow, winding stairway. The source of the MUSIC
gets CLOSER and CLOSER, as they follow the yellow candlelight
down, down, down... brushing against the cobwebbed walls. As
they pass one section of wall, an ancient sign can just barely
be made out in the after glow of their light. It reads:

CAPACITY: NOT MORE THAN 3 PERSONS
BY ORDER OF:
FIRE DEPT.

Finally, they reach a landing. A door separates them from
whatever lies beyond. Freddy takes hold of the handle... it
crumbles in his hand like dust. He gently pushes against the
door. It CREAKS slowly open. The VIOLIN MUSIC STOPS!

INT. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN'S LABORATORY

Freddy and Inga walk into the now famous room. A strange
light comes from around a corner. As they walk towards the
light, they pass a shelf lined with skulls. They look at
each ancient head as they pass. Inga shudder with horror.

The forth head is Igor. It looks as if his head is on the
shelf, but actually he is standing just behind the shelf.
He smiles.

FREDDY
Aye-gor!

IGOR
Fro-derick!

FREDDY
What are you doing here?

IGOR
I got frightened all alone upstairs,
so I came down here.

He leads them around the corner, where a glass bowl filled
with water is being heated by small flame.

FREDDY
But what you were doing?

IGOR
Just putting up some tea.

FREDDY
Did you hear that strange music?

IGOR
What?

FREDDY
Did you hear that strange music??

IGOR
What?

FREDDY
Did you hear that strange music?

IGOR
No, not sound.

INGA
There must have been someone else
down here then.

FREDDY
It seems that way.
(to Igor)
You didn't hear any music at all?

IGOR
What?

FREDDY
You didn't hear... nothing! Aren't
there any lights in this place?

IGOR
Two switches over there, but I wasn't
going to be the first.

Freddy walks over and throws the first switch. OPEN ENDED
ELECTRICAL CURRENTS SHOOT OUT ALL OVER.

IGOR
Well, it's all right for atmosphere.

Freddy turns off the first switch and then throws the other
one.

"NORMAL" LIGHTS GO ON

Now the lab can be SEEN in all its old splendor, but thick
in dust and spiders' webs.

INGA
Ooh!

FREDDY
What a filthy mess.

IGOR
I don't know... a little paint, some
flowers...

FREDDY
Did you see anyone else down here?

IGOR
No, but when I first came in, there
was a light coming from behind that
steel door.

A huge steel door is open a few inches. Freddy goes to the
door and listens, then opens it and they all walk in...
hesitantly.

INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY

By the light of Freddy's candle, they see a small, creepy
room, filled with musty books. There is a table in the center
of the floor. On the table there is a large book, an ashtray,
and a VIOLIN AND BOW.

INGA
(seeing the violin)
Look, Doctor!

FREDDY
Well, this explains the music.

INGA
But who was playing it?

There is a smoldering cigar in the ashtray.

FREDDY
I don't know, but whoever it was
barely finished putting out his cigar.
It's still smoldering.
(to Igor)
Let me smell your breath.

Igor exhales in Freddy's face. Freddy nearly passes out.

FREDDY
Well, it wasn't you.

He looks around the room.

FREDDY
What is this place?

IGOR
Must be the music room.

INGA
There's nothing but books and papers.

FREDDY
I wonder...

He looks at the large book lying on the table. He puts his
candle over the cover. A LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER as we SEE:

CLOSE SHOT - BOOK

"HOW I DID IT" BY VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN.

Camera pulls back.

FREDDY
It is! This was my grandfather's
private library. Look at this!

IGOR
(reading the cover of
the book)
'How I Did It.' Good title!

FREDDY
Funny it should just be lying out
here on the table. I wonder what
kind of dribble this is?

He opens to the first page.

FREDDY
(reading aloud)
'Whence, I often asked myself, did
the principles of life proceed? To
examine the causes of life... we
must first have recourse to death.'
God, what a looney bin!

ANOTHER LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER. Freddy's candle almost blows
out from a draft.

INGA
Oh, doctor!

FREDDY
Perhaps we'd better leave.

IGOR
Taking the book along?

FREDDY
Yes, I think we could all use a good
laugh.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LAB

Freddy is convulsed with laughter.

FREDDY
This guy is too much.

Inga and Igor stare passively. The three of them are drinking
tea. More water is boiling in a test tube.

FREDDY
(reading)
'...and as soon as the dazzling light
vanished, the oak tree had
disappeared. I knew then that
electricity and galvanism had changed
my life.'

He howls.

FREDDY
This guy is bonkers! Did you ever
hear anything like this??

ANOTHER LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER.

As Freddy goes on reading, the CAMERA TRAVELS UP, UP, UP...

THROUGH the giant laboratory... as if to seek the source of
the THUNDER we HEAR, as the CAMERA MOVES UP:

FREDDY'S VOICE
(o.s.)
'When I look back now, it seems to
me as if this almost miraculous event
obliterated any last effort by the
spirit of preservation to avert the
storm that was even then hanging in
the stars.'

MORE THUNDER.

FREDDY'S VOICE
(o.s.)
He kills me! This guy kills me.

The CAMERA FINDS a large opening in the ceiling -- an opening
through which bodies might be elevated during an electrical
storm. THUNDER CLOUDS CAN BE SEEN as the CAMERA PASSES THROUGH
the opening into the night air.

FREDDY'S LAUGHTER is still HEARD from below. There is a GIANT
CRACKLE OF LIGHTNING -- as if in reply.

Now the CAMERA TRAVELS DOWN. Time has passes and Freddy's
voice is hoarse, and more intense, and as the CAMERA TRAVELS
DOWN:

FREDDY'S VOICE
(o.s.)
'Until, from the midst of this
darkness, a sudden light broke in
upon me -- a light so brilliant and
wondrous, and yet so simple!'

The CAMERA has reached Freddy. His eyes are burning; he reads
almost feverishly. Inga and Igor are half asleep.

FREDDY
(reading)
'Change the poles from plus to minus
and from minus to plus!'

Freddy howls insanely.

FREDDY
(reading)
'I alone succeeded in discovering
the cause of generation of life.'

He doubles over in laughter.

FREDDY
'Nay, even more -- I, myself became
capable of bestowing animation upon
lifeless matter.'

He laughs, he laughs, he laughs... then SMASHES his tea glass
against a wall.

FREDDY
It could work!!

A TUMULTUOUS CLAP OF THUNDER.

CUT TO:

IGOR'S FACE

Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. He has a quizzical smile.

CUT TO:

INGA'S FACE

Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. Frightened, yet in awe.

CUT TO:

FRAU BLUCHER'S FACE - IN A ROOM

Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. She is SMOKING A CIGAR.

CUT TO:

BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN'S COFFIN

Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. THE LID SLAMS OPEN AND
SHUT, OPEN AND SHUT.

CUT TO:

FREDDY'S FACE

Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. The dark circles under
his eyes suggest that he is IRREVERSIBLY INSANE.

LEGEND

It reads:

"IRREVERSIBLY COMMITTED TO THE DARK
DESTINY OF ALL THOSE WHO BEAR THE NAME OF 'FRANKENSTEIN'
'FRONKONSTEEN.'"

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT. LABORATORY - MORNING

A work space has been hastily prepared. Freddy, dressed quite
properly in riding boots and tweed jacket, is reading from
"the great book".

Inga, dressed in her Lab gown, is taking notes. Igor is
drawing on a large pad.

FREDDY
'As the minuteness of the parts formed
a great hindrance to my speed, I
resolved to make the Creature of a
gigantic stature.' Of course! That
would simplify everything.

INGA
(pointing to another
paragraph)
And look at this, Doctor!

FREDDY
(reading)
'Dilation of his sacral
parasympathetic impulses would cause
an increase in flow of blood and the
erection to approximately nineteen
inches of his apparatus genitals.'

IGOR
His what??

INGA
His schwanzstucker.

IGOR
Whew! A nineteen-inch drill.

FREDDY
Now then! What we're aiming for, is
a being about eight feet in height,
and all features proportionably large.

Igor shows his drawing.

IGOR
Something like this?

They all look at the drawing.

They, and we, SEE a crude but impressive sketch of THE
MONSTER, and as we look at the drawing:

FREDDY'S VOICE
(o.s.)
You've caught something there. Yes!
As a matter of fact -- I think --
that this -- might -- be -- our --
man!

As our eyes travel from the top of the drawing to the feet:

MATCH DISSOLVE TO:

A PAIR OF VERY LARGE, REAL FEET

Now the CAMERA MOVES from the feet, BACK UP.

EXT. GIBBET - DAY

A gigantic BODY is standing on a scaffold. When we reach the
head, it is somehow incongruous: A sweet, boyish face --
with a rope around its neck.

The "Body" is about to be hanged. Next to it stands an
EXECUTIONER.

EXECUTIONER
Have anything to say?

THE BODY
(in quiet anger)
MMmmmgrrrrrrrrr!

EXECUTIONER
Anything else?

The "Body" thinks. Then:

THE BODY
Go shove it up your --

The Executioner throws the lever and THE TRAP DOOR FALLS
OPEN.

The "Body" hangs, lifeless.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT

LEAVES BLOW ACROSS A COLD CEMETERY.

A coffin is carried by FOUR PALLBEARERS to a deep grave.

RELATIVES are waiting by the grave site.

Through an iron gate surrounding the cemetery, TWO DARK
FIGURES peek through the rails and observe the funeral.

One of them has a hunched back.

SOFT MOANING is HEARD from one of the Relatives. A MINISTER
mumbles Latin under his breath.

The Pallbearers set the coffin down on ropes placed over the
gravesite. A short distance away are a FATHER and a MOTHER,
standing next to a weeping DAUGHTER.

FATHER
He was a good man.

MOTHER
He was an angel.

FATHER
He was a saint!

A pause.

MOTHER
She had to marry this rotten pig
instead.

FATHER
Hanging was too good -- they should
have soaked him in lye.

The minister nods and TWO GRAVE DIGGERS lower the coffin.

The Daughter throws a bouquet of flowers onto the descending
coffin. The Minister throws a handful on dirt on top of the
coffin -- representing "Ashes to Ashes."

CUT TO:

INSIDE COFFIN

We SEE the FROZEN FACE of "The Body," and HEAR the sprinkled
dirt as it HITS the coffin lid.

A little dirt seeps in through the lid and lands on the lips
of the frozen face.

Ever so subtly, the lips make a spitting motion to clear the
dirt away.

CUT TO:

EXT. GRAVEYARD

The Grave Diggers are shoveling dirt into the grave. The
Relatives and Minister are leaving.

FIRST GRAVE DIGGER
What a filthy job!

SECOND GRAVE DIGGER
Could be worse!

DISSOLVE TO:

FREDDY AND IGOR

Knee-deep in the grave, shoveling the dirt out.

FREDDY
What a filthy job!

IGOR
Could be worse!

FREDDY
How?

IGOR
Could be raining!

A CRACK OF THUNDER.

Freddy stares at Igor.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. A STREET

Freddy and Igor carry the coffin down a street in the POURING
RAIN.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LABORATORY

Freddy and Igor are just setting the heavy coffin down on an
operating table. They take the lid off the hinges and set it
aside.

FREDDY
Wait! Let's tip the coffin over,
then just lift it off. It'll be much
easier.

They tip the coffin over, upside down, like a cake pan.

FREDDY
Now...

They lift the coffin up... but the operating table remains
empty.

FREDDY
Set it down!

They set it down on the table again. Freddy gives the bottom
of the coffin (which is now on top), a big WHACK!

They lift the coffin up again and there is the "Body."

It had been struck.

FREDDY
(looking at the "Body")
Magnificent!

He checks its nails.

FREDDY
Very little decay. With this
magnificent specimen for a body, all
we need now is an equally magnificent
brain.
(he looks at Igor)
You know what to do!

IGOR
I have a pretty good idea.

Igor glances at the movie audience for a moment.

FREDDY
Do you have the name I wrote down?

IGOR
(looking at his sleeve)
Yes. Dr. H. Delbruck.

FREDDY
I want that brain.

IGOR
Was he any good?

FREDDY
Was he any good??? He was the finest
natural philosopher, internal medicine
diagnostician and chemical therapist
of this century.

IGOR
Hmm!

FREDDY
And he wrote seventeen cookbooks.

IGOR
That's not bad.

FREDDY
Can you imagine that brain in this
body?

IGOR
I'm getting excited just thinking
about it. What if he's not there?

FREDDY
He only died two weeks ago -- I'm
sure they'll still have him. Hurry
now. I'll prepare the body.

IGOR
(starting to leave)
Oh! May I call you 'Master'?

FREDDY
Why?

IGOR
It's always been one of my favorite
names.

FREDDY
If you like -- just hurry!

IGOR
Thank you, Master.

Freddy rolls up the "Body's" right sleeve. He gazes at the
immensity of the hand in amazement and awe.

FREDDY
Look at this hand! Look at these
fingers!

A sudden thought twists through his brain. He sets the dead
arm up on its elbow, intertwines his own right hand with
that of the "Body's," and gets set for an "Indian Arm
Wrestle."

Freddy forces the dead arm down -- not without some difficulty --
and then gives the "Body" a triumphant sneer.

DISSOLVE TO:

A HOSPITAL DOOR

The upper half of the door is made of glass. On the glass is
printed:

B R A I N D E P O S I T A R Y
AFTER 5:00 P.M. SHOVE BRAIN THROUGH SLOT IN DOOR

The SHADOW OF A MAN can be SEEN silhouetted from inside the
Depository. The Man has a large hump on his back.

CUT TO:

INT. DEPOSITORY - NIGHT

LOW THUNDER!

A row of brains in jars, under glass domes, rests on a long,
narrow table.

Igor tiptoes slowly, examining the labels on each glass dome
that he passes.

ALBERTUS MAGNUS

CORNELIUS AGRIPPA

LAWRENCE TALBOT
(Physicist)
(Natural Philosopher)
(Hematologist)

Then he comes to:

HANS DELBRUCK
(Scientist & Saint)

Igor approaches the glass dome, lifts it off, and takes the
jar containing the brain of Hans Delbruck.

As he turns to go, he sees himself in a Full-length mirror.

He drops the jar in fright.

He looks down and sees the gooks mass of brain and glass.

He looks at the Movie Audience.

IGOR
Funny thing is... I tried!

He sweeps some of the mess under the table with his foot.

IGOR
(muttering to himself)
Freud would have a heyday with this.
Well...

He looks quickly at the "Brain table," grabs a jar from under
the glass dome nearest to him, and leaves.

On the glass dome, whose contents Igor has just taken, is
printed:

DO NOT USE THIS BRAIN!

"ABNORMAL"

CUT TO:

THE SKY

An ominous BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

CUT TO:

THE FACE OF THE "BODY"

He has a few cute stitch marks. Electrodes stick out from
both sides of his neck.

INT. LABORATORY

Freddy, wearing a long, white surgeon's gown and surgical
mask, stands over the "Body," which is strapped across the
chest and thighs. Freddy has a thimble on the finger of one
hand -- a needle and thread in the other.

FREDDY
Finished!

The "Body" is on an operating table, which is in the center
of a platform directly below the opening in the ceiling.

Inga stands nearby.

INGA
What a beautiful job!

Freddy looks up to the opening in the ceiling.

FREDDY
(shouting)
Ready?? 'Looking back now, it seems
to me as if this almost miraculous
event obliterated any last effort by
the spirit of preservation to avert
the storm that was even then hanging
in the stars.'

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOF

Igor stands on the roof, flying two kites in order to attract
the lightning bolts. He is wearing rubber boots, rubber
gloves, and a rubber whaler's coat and hat.

IGOR
(shouting down)
You're sure you know what you're
doing?

FREDDY
Yes! It's all written down in the
notes. Tie off the kites and come
down!

IGOR
Yes, master. Just don't turn on any
radios.

INT. LABORATORY

Freddy hands Inga the needle and thread. Then he grabs an
electrical plug, connected to a "battery indicator," and
plugs it into two small slits in one of the electrodes in
the "Body's" throat... as you would plug in a lamp. He reads
the indicator.

FREDDY
Soon, all the electrical secrets of
Heaven shall be mine.

INGA
Oh, Frederick... you're not only a
great doctor, you're a great... you're
almost a...

FREDDY
A god?

INGA
Yes!

FREDDY
I know.

A CRACK OF THUNDER!

Igor comes down a small, spiral staircase from the roof.

IGOR
You'd better hurry -- I think it's
going to rain.

FREDDY
(to Inga)
All right... elevate me!

INGA
Right here?

FREDDY
Raise the platform, hurry!

INGA
Oh! Yes, Doctor.

She turns a giant wheel on the wall. The platform rises
towards the opening in the ceiling, with Freddy and the "Body"
on it.

FREDDY
(as he is going up)
The ancient masters promised
impossibilities and performed nothing.
We shall penetrate into the recesses
of nature. We shall ascend into the
Heavens. We shall command the thunders
of Heaven, mimic the earthquake and
even mock the invisible world with
its own shadows.

IGOR
Tonight?

FREDDY
Yes! When I give the word -- throw
the first switch!

IGOR
You've got it, master.

The platform rises higher and higher. RAIN starts to come
down on Freddy.

FREDDY
Get ready!

The platform nears the opening.

FREDDY
Get set!

The platform rises through the opening and then stops. Now
Freddy is out in the open air, on the roof.

EXT. ROOF

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING and a CRACK OF THUNDER!

FREDDY
Go!!

INT. LABORATORY

Igor throws the first switch.

SPARKS, CURRENTS, DIALS capture our eyes.

EXT. ROOF

Freddy is getting drenched. He tries to check the "battery
indicator" plugged into the "Body."

FREDDY
(shouting down)
Throw the second switch!

INT. LABORATORY

IGOR
(throwing the switch)
This guy means business.

Igor looks up in awe.

EXT. ROOF

MORE THUNDER AND LIGHTNING.

FREDDY
It's not enough. More! More, do you
hear me?

IGOR
What?

FREDDY
More, do you hear me?

IGOR
What?

FREDDY
Throw the third switch!

IGOR
(throwing the switch)
Wait till he sees the bill.

INT. LABORATORY

The Laboratory is an electrical circus.

EXT. ROOF

FREDDY
All right -- turn everything off and
bring me down!

INT. LABORATORY

Inga turns the giant wheel the other way.

Igor throws back the three switches.

THE LIGHTS RETURN TO NORMAL.

Inga and Igor watch Freddy and the platform descend.

When it reaches the floor, Freddy stands soaked to the skin.

ALL EYES ARE ON THE "BODY."

FREDDY
Nothing!

They all stare at:

THE FROZEN FACE of the "Body."

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Freddy, Inga and Igor sit at a long dining room table, set
with food and wine. Freddy stares into space.

FREDDY
Reputation. Reputation!

INGA
I thought it was wonderful.

FREDDY
I don't understand -- I followed the
notes to the letter.

IGOR
You can't win 'em all.

FREDDY
But there must be a reason. This is
science, not art.

INGA
Pass the Wildschweinbraten mit
Gewurzgurkensosse, please.

Igor looks at Inga, then passes the meat.

CUT TO:

INT. LABORATORY

The FROZEN FACE is still frozen. The chest is not breathing.

The arm is motionless.

The FINGERS... MOVE!

CUT BACK TO:

DINING ROOM

FREDDY
Let's look once more. I can't stand
just sitting here doing nothing.
Maybe we left to soon.

Freddy and Igor set up. Inga goes on eating.

CUT TO:

THE LABORATORY

Freddy and Igor walk into the Laboratory and stand next to
the "Body."

FREDDY
Cold! Cold and dead!

IGOR
You mustn't take it so hard. Bucharest
wasn't built in a day.

Freddy leans his head down, in anguish, and rests it on the
chest of the "Body."

The "Body's" FINGER pushes against Freddy's behind. Igor
doesn't see it.

FREDDY
(to Igor)
Don't try to cheer me up that way.

IGOR
Well, I don't like to see you mope.

Igor stands next to Freddy.

IGOR
You'll be getting me sad next.

FREDDY
I'm sorry. I don't mean to take out
my frustration on you. You've been a
great help to me, and I've let you
down.

The "Finger" rubs against Igor's behind.

IGOR
(looking up suddenly)
I'm not that sort you know. I
appreciate you feelings, but try to
show them some other way.

FREDDY
(lifting his head)
You're right! Self-pity never got
anyone anywhere. Let's go back and
finish our dinner.

They leave.

The "Finger" OPENS AND CLOSES ITS HAND.

CUT TO:

DINING ROOM

Inga, Igor and Freddy are eating dessert.

IGOR
What is this?

FREDDY
Schwartzwalder Kirschtorte.

Seeping in from the laboratory, we HEAR: "MMMMMMmmmmmm!"

FREDDY
(to Igor)
Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial
to desserts, but this is excellent.

IGOR
Who are you talking to?

FREDDY
To you! You just made a 'yummy' sound,
so I thought you liked the dessert.

IGOR
I didn't make a 'yummy' sound -- I
just asked what it was.

FREDDY
But you did -- I just heard it.

IGOR
It wasn't me.

Freddy looks at Inga.

INGA
It wasn't me.

FREDDY
Look here -- if it wasn't you, and
it wasn't you, and it wasn't me...

Their eyeballs meet in the center of the room. Then they all
tear downstairs to the Laboratory.

CUT TO:

INT. LABORATORY

They burst into the room. What we may at last call THE
MONSTER is straining, tentatively, against the straps across
his chest and thighs. His head is raised.

MONSTER
MMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNmmmmmmmm?!?

FREDDY
It's alive!

INGA
Oh, Doctor!

IGOR
I think you've done it, master.

FREDDY
Alive! Look at it. I have defeated
death!

IGOR
Better not get too close, master.
This guy could kill you.

FREDDY
I suppose you're right. Inga! Prepare
a sedative, just in case.

Inga goes to a medicine case and prepares a hypodermic.

The Monster raises its head and makes little circles with
its hands, asking to be "free."

FREDDY
It's trying to talk. It wants us to
take off the straps.

IGOR
Don't fall for that one.

FREDDY
But don't you see... the brain of
Hans Delbruck is inside this grotesque
hulk -- pleading with us. I've got
to untie it.

IGOR
Careful, master -- you never can
tell with these chaps.

FREDDY
All right... stand back!

Freddy carefully walks up to the Monster and stands over
him. The monster is silent, feeling his way.

FREDDY
Hello there.

MONSTER
MMMMMmmmmmmm.

FREDDY
How's everything?

MONSTER
(just a suggestion of
"not so good")
MMMmmmmmmmm.

FREDDY
I'm going to untie you -- can you
understand that?

MONSTER
(a soft, "crying"
sound)
MMMmmmm! MMMmmmm!

FREDDY
Yes, I'm going to set you free.
(to Inga)
Is the sedative ready?

INGA
Yes, Doctor.

Freddy takes the strap across the Monster's thighs and unties
it. Then he unties the strap across its chest... and steps
back. ALL EYES ARE ON THE MONSTER. TINGLY MUSIC. The Monster
looks at them all for a moment while he is still lying down.
A slightly sly grin comes to his mouth. He rises... slowly,
carefully, to a sitting position.

MONSTER
(a low, suspicious
groan)
MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm.

FREDDY
It's alive. It's -- moving! It's --
breathing! It's -- standing! What is
your name?

MONSTER
(thinking for a moment)
...It's.

IGOR
Original.

FREDDY
(holding out his hands)
Give -- me -- your -- hand!

The Monster slowly extends his hands to Freddy. Freddy takes
them and leads the Monster into his first steps.

PRODUCTION NUMBER - "ALIVE"

...in which Freddy, the Monster and Igor do a SONG and DANCE
that teaches the Monster how to move. Occasionally, Inga and
an unseen FIFTY-PIECE ORCHESTRA join in. The Monster tries,
in his own special way, to imitate the gentle, "Soft Shoe"
examples of Freddy and Igor. But where they "Ping" and
"Clink"... he "PONGS" and "CLONGS."

ANOTHER ANGLE

After a big finish, the Monster beams ecstatically. He bows
out of instinct: "Show Business" is in his blood.

FREDDY
Whew! I'm glad that's over with.

IGOR
You can say that again.

FREDDY
Yes.

IGOR
You're just supposed to repeat what
you said.

FREDDY
Why?

IGOR
What's the point of my setup? It's
not funny unless you repeat exactly
what you said.

FREDDY
I'm not trying to be funny.

Igor looks at the Movie Audience.

IGOR
Repeat it anyway -- it's a wonderful
cue.

FREDDY
...I'm glad that's...

IGOR
No, no! That whole thing!

FREDDY
...Whew! I'm glad that's over with.

MONSTER
MMMMmmmmmmmmm!

They all look at the Monster.

IGOR
See what I mean?

Freddy gives Igor a dirty look.

MONSTER
(signifying "More!")
MMMmmm! MMMmmm!

INGA
I think 'It' wants to do it again
Doctor.

FREDDY
It looks that way.

INGA
What do you think we should do?

MONSTER
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

FREDDY
Oh... let's do it a little more.

ANOTHER ANGLE

They all SING and DANCE a short encore of "ALIVE." The Monster
gets violently carried away in his search for dance
perfection.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Freddy, Igor and Inga drop from exhaustion after another,
even bigger ORCHESTRAL finish. The Monster immediately asks
for:

MONSTER
MMMmmm!

They all stare at him in horror.

MONSTER
(signifying "More")
MMMMmmmmm! MMMMmmmmm!

Freddy walks boldly up to the Monster.

FREDDY
Stop that! Now just stop that this
instant and listen to me!

The Monster stares at Freddy in fascination.

FREDDY
I have given you one of the finest
minds of this century. You are a
brilliant endocrinologist. You are a
superb scientist. And you are making
naughty! Now that's enough. Finished!
From now on, you will behave like a
man, and not a spoiled, snot-nosed,
sniveling brat who thinks he can get
anything he wants by bullying people
with sheer brute force.

The Monster gives Freddy a W H A C K you wouldn't believe
unless you were there. Inga SCREAMS.

IGOR
This fellow's got great timing.

The Monster picks Freddy up in his two hands and then holds
him high over his head.

INGA
Oh, Doctor -- be careful!

The Monster is about to dash Freddy to pieces, when:

MUSIC: A VIOLIN is HEARD PLAYING the EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN
LULLABY. The monster FREEZES -- still holding Freddy over
his head.

MONSTER
(soft, pathetic cries)
Mmmmmm! Mmmmmm!

INGA
Doctor! There's that strange music
again. What could it be?

IGOR
It seem to have stopped the big fellow
in his tracks.

FREDDY
(from over the
Monster's head)
Ayegor! Find out where that music is
coming from as quietly and as
blindingly fast as you can.

IGOR
Yes, Master!

FREDDY
Act casual!

Igor casually takes out a box of jujubees from his pocket
and eats one. He walks over to the Monster, who is still
holding Freddy over his head.

IGOR
(to the Monster)
Care for a jujubee?

The Monster lowers one hand -- holding Freddy up with the
other -- and takes the box of jujubees. He sniffs them.

FREDDY
Clever ploy!

The Monster drains the box of jujubees in one gulp, then
hands the empty box back to Igor.

IGOR
(looking at the empty
box)
NO movies together for us -- that's
for sure.

Igor MOVES OFF in search of the MUSIC. The Monster -- deeply
affected by the LULLABY -- slowly sets Freddy down.

INGA
It's almost as if he were afraid. He
loves that music.

The Monster begins to hug Freddy and snuggle him. He behaves
like a frightened, loving child, as he holds his arms out to
Freddy.

INGA
I think he wants you to carry him,
Doctor.

Freddy nods agreement.

INGA
What are you going to do?

FREDDY
I think I'll... carry him.

Freddy prepares to lift the Monster. Suddenly: THE MUSIC
STOPS! The Monster's eyeballs float menacingly towards Freddy.

MONSTER
MMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

INGA
Doctor! The music has stopped.

The Monster's hands creep around Freddy's neck.

FREDDY
Do you think you can sing it?

INGA
Me? Sing?

FREDDY
Yes -- quickly, dear!

The Monster is really choking Freddy now.

INGA
I'd be so nervous.

FREDDY
This is not the finals -- just sing!

INGA
(singing)
It's some-thing dar-ing, 'The Con-ti-
nen-tal,' A way of danc-ing that's
real-ly ul-tra new; It's ver-y sub-
tle, 'The Con-ti-nen-tal.'

The Monster is temporarily distracted. Then he gives Inga an
angry look. The is not the music that he wants.

INGA
(singing)
Be-cause it does what you want it to
do.

MONSTER
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

The Monster's hands tighten around Freddy's neck.

INGA
(singing)
It has a pas-sion, 'The Con-ti nen-
tal...'

FREDDY
Stop -- singing!!!

Igor WALKS IN, holding a violin and bow. He sees the Monster
choking Freddy.

IGOR
How's it going?

FREDDY
What did you find out?

IGOR
Someone was playing this in the music
room.

FREDDY
Where is he?

IGOR
How do you know it was a 'he'?

FREDDY
All right -- where is she?

IGOR
How do you know it was a 'she'?

FREDDY
(gasping his last
breath)
Bring -- me -- the -- violin!

IGOR
Can you play it?

FREDDY
Maybe... if you get here on time.

Igor goes to Freddy and hands him the violin and bow.

Freddy plays the TRANSYLVANIA LULLABY to the best of his
ability. The Monster's hands begin to loosen.

INGA
It's working! Oh, Doctor -- you play
beautifully.

IGOR
Do you know the theme from 'Doctor
Zhivago'?

FREDDY
Get the sedative ready!

MONSTER
(soft and loving)
MMmmm! Mmmmm!

The Monster hugs Freddy's face. Freddy, still playing the
violin, pats the operating table for the Monster to "lie
down." He does -- holding onto Freddy's face.

INGA
I think he wants to be tucked in.

FREDDY
Get a blanket from under that shelf!

Inga gets the blanket. The Monster holds Freddy's head onto
his chest, as Freddy continues playing. Inga and Igor spread
the blanket over the operating table, then gently tuck the
Monster in "bed." The Monster pulls Freddy into bed with him
and snuggles against Freddy's shoulder. Freddy continues
playing the violin under the covers.

FREDDY
(to Inga)
All right -- give it to him!

INGA
Are you serious??

FREDDY
Give him the sedative!

INGA
Oh! Yes, Doctor.

She prepares the hypodermic, then lifts up a small section
of the blanket -- AWAY FROM OUR VIEW -- and pulls down the
Monster's pants a short way.

IGOR
He's got quite a tush.

She puts the needle in.

FREDDY
Did you do it?

INGA
I think so.

FREDDY
Good! It shouldn't take more than a
few seconds.

Freddy gradually stops playing.

MONSTER
(quietly, angry)
MMMMmmmmmmmm!

Freddy starts playing. The Monster kisses him.

INGA
I'm getting tired.

IGOR
Why don't we all turn in? It's been
a long day.

FREDDY
Wait -- I'm sure he's out by now.
That shot was strong enough to stop
a horse.

Freddy gradually stops playing. One of the Monster's hands
sleepily closes around Freddy's throat.

IGOR
See you at breakfast, then!

Freddy continues playing.

INGA
Good night, Doctor.

FREDDY
(afraid to disturb
the Monster)
Good night!

Igor and Inga LEAVE.

NEW ANGLE

Freddy is left alone with the Monster, still playing the
violin.

FREDDY
(sarcastically)
Thanks... for all your help.

IGOR
(o.s., from behind a
wall)
That's what we're paid for.

Freddy looks at the Monster -- whose contented face nestles
against Freddy's chin.

FREDDY
(as he plays the violin)
This song. This haunting melody.
This ancient, quaintly atonal folk
tune... is driving -- me -- crackers!
I can't go on -- do you understand??
Can NOT go on playing this
pathogenically rotten song. If you're
not asleep yet, then kill me if you
have to, but at the count of three...
I stop! One!... Incidentally, I was
thinking of making a big breakfast
tomorrow -- blueberry waffles and
crisp bacon. Two!... By the way, I'm
sorry I yelled at you before -- I
must have been over-tired. Anyway, I
meant to apologize and just forgot.
Two!... Maybe tomorrow would be a
good day just to relax -- go for a
swim, maybe do a little water skiing.
Well... we'll see after we finish a
nice breakfast. Three!

Freddy stops playing. The monster is sound asleep.

Freddy puts the violin down, throws off the blanket, then
ties the straps that bind the Monster to the operating table.

FREDDY
(when the Monster is
firmly tied)
Spoiled Sissy!

Freddy picks up the violin again and stares at it.

FREDDY
The song is over!

He looks at the sleeping Monster.

FREDDY
Das lied ist aus!

He breaks the violin in half. Immediately, he feels a sense
of relief and lightheadedness.

FREDDY
Oh! Oh my! What a strange feeling
that was. My head -- I felt such a
pressure, splitting my head apart. I
feel so relieved and lightheaded.
That horrible pressure... like
voices... all calling to me, imploring
me... swearing at me. Well, it's
over now, thank goodness.
(he turns to the
Monster)
Oh... my poor Doctor Delbruck.
(he strokes the
Monster's head)
Doctor, Doctor... what have I done
to you? Was habe ich von Dir gamacht?
Your magnificent brain, locked in
this... pile of... Forgive me, Doctor.
I thought -- for science only. I
couldn't stand the thought to mankind.
I was a fool! How dangerous is the
acquirement of knowledge, and how
much happier is that man who believes
his native town to be the world,
than he who aspires to become greater
than his nature will allow. Can you
ever forgive me?

He puts his head down in silent prayer. MUSIC: ANOTHER VIOLIN
PLAYS: THE EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY. Freddy's body tenses.
We cannot see his face, but his fingers go to his temples.
He slowly raises his head.

FREDDY
That's a knockout tune! That tune is
a winner. You can't call it 'wishy-
washy'... like some people I know.
That song is going places.
(he looks at the
Monster)
And so are we -- Blubber Boy. With
your body, and the brain of that
kraut -- we'll be 'Number One' in no
time.

The MUSIC is PLAYING LOUDER and FASTER.

FREDDY
Right, voices?? I hear you skipping
away in there. 'Do better than your
father!' You're telling me I will.
'Do better than my grandfather!?'
I'll make my famous grandfather look
like a part-time nurse.

He rises.

FREDDY
There's no stopping now. Destiny is
too potent. I -- want -- perfection!

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

FREDDY
I want a lot of it... and the best
there is.

He grabs the Monster's head and hits it. A CRACK OF THUNDER!

FREDDY
Because from now on...

CUT TO:

INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY

Frau Blucher is insanely playing the violin and watching
Freddy through a crack in the door.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. LABORATORY

FREDDY
...the only act we follow is the
creation of fire. I'm going to explore
unknown powers... I'm going to unfold
to the world the deepest mysteries
of creation... and I'm going to make --
my -- mommy -- proud!

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

MONTAGE - INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY

Mirrors and a warmup bar run along three walls.

Throughout the Montage, the Monster is dressed in leotards
and lederhosen.

1st Piece - INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM

The Monster is at the warmup bar, doing ballet exercises to
the MUSIC OF CHOPIN -- which is being PLAYED on the PIANO by
Igor.

Inga -- also in leotards -- is at the bar in front of the
Monster, so that he may follow her example.

Freddy sits on a chair in the middle of the floor, pounding
out the "count" with a long stick.

FREDDY
And one and two and three and four
and lift -- lift, three and four and
don't look sad for sympathy; you
know we only stop to pee. And lift --
lift, three and four and try and not
to break the floor.

DISSOLVE TO:

2nd Piece - INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM

Freddy and Inga are wearing different clothes -- to denote
change of time.

Inga only watches this time, as the Monster tries a few
"points" and "turns" across the room on his own.

Igor plays Chopin.

FREDDY
And one and two and point your toes
and two and two and stretch you thighs
and three and two and lift your knees
and watch that nasty temper, please.

The Monster is getting angry.

FREDDY
And one and two and point your toes...

Igor stops playing the piano, but continues speaking with
the "count."

IGOR
And Oh-oh, Oh-oh... there he goes.

The Monster's hands are around Freddy's neck.

FREDDY
And oopy, not so hasty, please, and
stretch your legs and lift your knees.

The monster, involuntarily, continues his footwork while he
is trying to choke Freddy.

Freddy picks up a violin from under his chair and plays the
EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY -- BUT IN THE SAME RHYTHM THEY
HAVE BEEN USING, so that not a "count" is missed.

FREDDY
And even though we're nose to nose,
Always, always point your toes! Don't
knot your fists like monsters do,
but light-ly, gently, pas de deux. A
grateful bot who has a chance would
never kill if he could dance. So
take your fingers off my throat and
two -- remove them from my chest and
three and two, continue please; I
didn't say 'It's time to rest.' Don't
stand flat footed; point your toes!
Don't hang your hands like some dumb
clod; Always lift them gracefully,
like little chil-dren praying to
God. That's the way an angel grows
but first he learns to POINT his
TOES!

Igor continues playing Chopin. The Monster goes back to his
exercises.

FREDDY
And one and two and stretch your
thighs and two and two and lift your
knees...

DISSOLVE TO:

3rd Piece - INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM

The angelic face of the Monster sits in perfect concentration,
as he prepares to play the harp.

He lightly ripples the strings: his face lights up!

He ripples the strings a second time: he is in ecstasy.

On the third ripple: ALL THE STRINGS COME OUT in his hands,
like a mass of spaghetti.

Freddy, Igor, and Inga try not to look at each other.

DISSOLVE TO:

4th Piece - INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM

MUSIC: a phonograph RECORD PLAYS TCHAIKOVSKY.

The Monster is dancing "reasonably" well with A YOUNG
BALLERINA.

Freddy, Igor and Inga watch with great expectation.

The Monster lifts the Ballerina up, and sets her down.

He lifts her up, and sets her down.

Now he takes her hand, prepares for the "big Twirl," lifts
her up, and twirls her through the air.

The Young Ballerina sails out of the open window.

CUT TO:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - DAY

An ELDERLY COUPLE are driving their horse and wagon to town.

A YOUNG BALLERINA SAILS PAST THEIR EYES.

DISSOLVE TO:

5th and Final Piece - INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM

Freddy and the Monster stand over two enormous xylophones.

Each holds his two wooden hammers.

Freddy -- at his xylophone -- passionately laces into Rimsky
Korsokov's "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLE BEE."

The Monster strokes -- in perfect time -- the LAST NOTE of
each phrase.

The crowning glory is a slow bridge of SEVEN PERFECT NOTES
BY THE MONSTER.

When the piece is finished, Freddy, the Monster, Igor and
Inga all hug each other in triumph.

TRIUMPHAL MUSIC.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT

A poster reads:

BUCHAREST STATE THEATRE
TONIGHT ONLY
DR. F. FRONKONSTEEN
IN
"THE GREATEST DISCOVERY SINCE FIRE"
Presented in Cooperation With
T N S
(Transylvanian Neurological Society)

A "SOLD OUT" sticker is pasted across the poster.

CUT TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The audience is filled with ELDERLY SCIENTISTS, their WIVES,
and THE CURIOUS from the upper crust in society.

All are elegantly dressed in cheap movie studio wardrobe.

INGA

in a formal, and Igor -- in "something" -- wait excitedly.

FREDDY

stands on a stage, dressed in tails.

FREDDY
And now, my fellow scientists and
neurosurgeon...I must ask you to...
suspend belief. For up until now,
you have seen the Creature perform
the simple mechanics of motor
activity. That this Creature was an
inanimate blob, which I endowed with
the secret of life -- yes!...in all
honesty -- that showed some measure
of skill on my part. But for what
you are about to see next... we must
enter -- quietly -- into the realm
of genius. I say this modestly, only
because I am, myself, as in awe of
the gifts I possess as if I were
observing them in some other person.
I think of them, only, as a loan.
Grateful, of course... that my credit
is good. Thus, with the accumulated
knowledge of Chemistry, Electricity,
Neurosurgery... and art... I now
present what was once an inarticulate
mass of lifeless tissues. Ladies and
gentlemen... Mesdames et Messieurs...
Damen und Herren...The Creature!

Freddy sits down at a beautiful grand piano. He plays a short
trill up the keyboard.

ANOTHER ANGLE

as A SPOTLIGHT hits the darkness next to him.

And there -- IN TOP HAT AND TAILS -- stands the Monster. He
is heavily made up.

FREDDY
(playing the piano
and singing)
If you're blue and you don't know
where to go to, why don't you...

The Monster accompanies the music with short, simple "Soft
Shoe" steps.

FREDDY
...go where fashion sits...

MONSTER
Poo -- tmmm anngh ma Ritz!

FREDDY
Diff'rent types who wear a day coat,
pants with stripes and cutaway coat,
perfect fits...

MONSTER
Poo -- tmmm anngh ma Ritz!

FREDDY
Dressed up like a million dollar
trouper Trying hard to look like
Gary Cooper.

MONSTER
Soo -- pah doo -- per.

The Audience's faces are absolutely blank. Inga and Igor
are thrilled.

FREDDY
Come let's mix where Rock-e-fellers
walk with sticks or 'um-ber-el-las'
in their mitts...

MONSTER
Poo -- tmmm anngh ma Ritz!

The Monster gets a tomato right in the face. He stops cold.

FREDDY
Dressed up like a million dollar
trouper. Trying hard to look like
Gary Coo -- per.

An EMBARRASSING PAUSE.

FREDDY
(to the Monster)
That's your cue. Go on!

MONSTER
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmm.

FREDDY
(trying to cover)
...Su-per du-per. Come let's mix
where Rock-e-fellers walk with sticks
or 'um-ber-el-las' in their mitts...

The Monster knows it's his cue: he just looks at Freddy.

MONSTER
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm!

FREDDY
For God's sake -- go on! Are you
trying to make me look like a fool.
Sing, you amateur! Sing!!

The Monster gets a raw egg in his face.

AUDIENCE
Booooo!
Get him off!
Fake!
What else can your toy do?

FREDDY
Fake?? You stupid idiots... you call
my creation a fake??? What do you
know about truth? You're the fakes!
All of you! I wouldn't come to you
with a hang-nail.

The monster gets another tomato in his face.

MONSTER
MMMMMMMMMM! MMMMMMMMMMMM!

FREDDY
(running to him)
Wait! Stop! Don't give them the
satisfaction. I know it's tough, but
look at how far we've come! Are you
going to throw it all away now??

The Monster thinks, as the tomato drips down his face.

He is touched by Freddy's reasoning, but still burning with
resentment.

MONSTER
MMMmmmmmm.

FREDDY
Don't you think I know that? But
what are you judging by? Bucharest???
This was always a hick town. They
can't get a 'Bus and Truck' company
to come in here. Are you going to
let these idiots get the best of
you?... Or are you going to stand up
like a man and show them that you've
got more dignity in your little finger
than they've got in all their beer-
bloated bodies put together?

The Monster considers this plea for a moment. Then gives
Freddy a colossal W H A C K and jumps into the Audience.

THE AUDIENCE

screams and scatters for the exits.

PANDEMONIUM.

FREDDY
(as he picks himself
up off the stage
floor)
I chose the wrong song.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

PEOPLE run in all directions.

The monster comes bursting down the street, with his arms
flailing.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CASTLE DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Freddy sits dejectedly -- still dressed in his theatre
clothes.

Igor and Inga sit near him. Frau Blucher stands nearby.

FREDDY
I'm a failure.

IGOR
Come on, Froderick -- none of that.

INGA
Look how far we've come.

IGOR
You can't expect to iron out all the
kinks in one night.

INGA
I think the doctor is a genius! Don't
you, Igor?

IGOR
Why certainly. Don't you, Frau
Blucher?

FRAU BLUCHER
He's a failure.

Freddy gives her a cold stare.

FREDDY
What are you waiting around for,
pickle puss?

FRAU BLUCHER
(handling him a cable)
This wire came while you were gone.
Your fiancee will be arriving any
moment.

FREDDY
Elizabeth!?!
(he reads the cable)
'Can't waits any longer. Arrive in
your arms at ten tonight.' Oh, God!
Not tonight.

INGA
Why, doctor... how wonderful for
you.

FREDDY
Wonderful? It's terrible! Terrible,
terrible, terrible, terrible,
terrible!

Freddy storms out of the room.

IGOR
She sounds fascinating.

CUT TO:

EXT. COBBLESTONED ALLEY - NIGHT

A SIX-YEAR-OLD GIRL walks innocently along the narrow,
menacing alley, lit only by moonlight.

Behind her, there slowly appears a growing, TWENTY-FOUR
SHADOW.

When the shadow is almost upon her, the Girl turns around
and faces her pursuer.

It is her BABY BROTHER, holing a long balloon in each hand.

SIX-YEAR-OLD-GIRL
(grabbing him)
Mit kommen, mit kommen. Du bist
immer eine schlafmutzigem
blindschleiche.

She gives him a slap on the behind and pulls him along.

CUT TO:

A GRANDFATHER CLOCK

It is ten o'clock. GONG.

INT. RECEPTION HALL

The front door opens and Elizabeth comes in. Frau Blucher
and a COACHMAN can be SEEN in the b.g.

Freddy stands in dressing gown and ascot. Inga and Igor wait
politely in the rear.

ELIZABETH
Darling!

FREDDY
Darling!

They embrace.

ELIZABETH
Surprised?

FREDDY
Surprised!

ELIZABETH
Love me?

FREDDY
Love you! ...Well, why don't we turn
in?

ELIZABETH
Darling!?!

FREDDY
I mean, it's been a long day. I'm
sure you must be as tired as I am.
Oh! These are my assistants: Inga
and Ayegor.

Freddy turns to get some luggage from the Coachman.

ELIZABETH
(stepping up to Inga)
How do you do?

INGA
Very well. So nice to meet you at
last.

Elizabeth steps up to Igor.

IGOR
Darling!

ELIZABETH
Hello...?

IGOR
Surprised?

ELIZABETH
Well... yes.

IGOR
Miss me?

ELIZABETH
I...

Freddy approaches them with Elizabeth's two suitcases: One
very large, and one very small.

FREDDY
Ready, darling?

ELIZABETH
Yes. I am a bit tired, after all.

FREDDY
(to Igor)
Give me a hand with these, will you,
Ayegor?

IGOR
Certainly, master.

Igor takes the small suitcase, and, with Inga, leads Elizabeth
and Freddy up the stairs. Freddy struggles with the large
suitcase. Frau Blucher follows behind.

ON THE STAIRWAY

ELIZABETH
What a strange fellow.

FREDDY
Yes, he's a little bit... tilted.
Harmless, though.

ELIZABETH
Why does he call you 'master'?

Freddy stares at her.

FREDDY
Are you suggesting I call him
master???

ELIZABETH
No, of course not. I just meant...

FREDDY
All right then!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ELEGANT RESTAURANT - NIGHT

The Monster walks in cautiously. No one seems to take any
particular notice of him.

He walks up to the MAITRE D' and taps his back.

MAITRE D'
Yes, sir, name, please?

MONSTER
Food!

MAITRE D'
Do you have a reservation?

MONSTER
Food!!

MAITRE D'
I'm sorry, sir. We only seat by
reservation.

MONSTER
Drink!

MAITRE D'
Oh, no sir-ee. If you don't have a
reservation you can skip to ma-loo.

The Monster grabs the Maitre D' by the lapels

MONSTER
Foooooood!

MAITRE D'
Now just one moment. There's no need
for roughhousing. Have you ever tried
a tip?

MONSTER
GRRRHMMNNNJKJMMMNN!

MAITRE D'
Franz! Help! Lunatic!

NEW ANGLE

As the monster picks up the maitre D' and throws him into a
crowd.

The Monster attacks the restaurant. LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND
WAITERS scream.

PANDEMONIUM.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ELIZABETH'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Elizabeth -- in a long, satin robe -- stands over Freddy,
who sits staring into a fire.

FREDDY
Poor Delbruck! There must be some
way to reach him -- to control that
body.

ELIZABETH
Darling, you mustn't worry so.

FREDDY
But there's a genius inside that
body -- crying out for love and
understanding and normal human
relationships. I just have to find
some way to re-establish his
communications system.

ELIZABETH
But you can't do that at night. And
even if you could -- it would cost a
fortune. Come to bed, darling.

FREDDY
Oh, Delbruck, Delbruck. Was will
dien tachlas von Dir?

ELIZABETH
You've done everything that's humanly
possible, Frederick. Oh, darling,
I'm so worried about you -- you need
rest.

FREDDY
I suppose you're right.

ELIZABETH
Of course I am. Now come along like
a good boy.

He gets up.

FREDDY
What would I do without you?

They kiss.

ELIZABETH
Is your room just down the hall?
...in case I get frightened during
the night?

FREDDY
Yes, but... I thought, perhaps
tonight, under the circumstances, I
might... stay here with you.

ELIZABETH
Oh, darling! Don't let's spoil
everything.

FREDDY
I don't want to spoil anything -- I
just want to top it all off.

ELIZABETH
Would you want me, now, like this,
so soon before our wedding?... So
near we can almost touch it? Or wait
a little while longer, when I can
give myself without hesitation?...
When I can be totally and unashamedly
yours??

FREDDY
That's a tough choice.

ELIZABETH
Is it worth taking a chance?

FREDDY
I suppose you're right.

ELIZABETH
Of course I am. Now give me a kiss
and say good night like my good boy.

They kiss.

FREDDY
Good night.

ELIZABETH
That's my good boy.

Freddy steps out into the:

INT. HALLWAY

Elizabeth blows him a kiss and slowly closes her door.

Freddy stands for a moment, then walks to the door next to
Elizabeth's room and knocks.

ANGLE ON INGA

She is wearing a flimsy nightgown, opens the door.

INGA
Why, Doctor... is anything the matter?

FREDDY
Just passing through the night.

INGA
What's wrong, Doctor? You seem...
lonely.

FREDDY
Oh, a little. But it's not just
physical loneliness. It's the pangs
that come from missing someone
intellectually... as I have you.

INGA
I've missed you intellectually, too,
Doctor.

He stares at her almost "see-through" nightgown.

FREDDY
It's terrible -- the price society
demands in the name of fidelity...
ultimately?

INGA
Not fooling around.

FREDDY
I know, but I mean -- not fooling
around physically?... Or not fooling
around intellectually?

INGA
I see what you mean.

FREDDY
There can never... ever... be anything
physical between us.

You know that, dear.

INGA
I know Frederick.

He is staring at her breasts.

FREDDY
It wouldn't be fair to Elizabeth.

INGA
Of course not.

FREDDY
For that matter, it wouldn't be fair
to you, or to me.

On the word "you", he touches Inga's breast to emphasize his
point. On the word "me", he touches his own chest.

Pause.

INGA
What?

FREDDY
I say, it wouldn't be fair to you...
or to me.

INGA
Nor to Elizabeth.

FREDDY
No. Nor to Elizabeth.

INGA
We all have our feelings. I know
that I have mine. And... I wouldn't
want to hurt yours.

On the word "mine", she touches her chest for emphasis. On
the word "yours", she places her hand on Freddy's chest and
rubs it a little.

FREDDY
Yes, I do have my feelings. And, of
course, you have yours.

He rubs her chest.

INGA
And Elizabeth has hers.

FREDDY
Yes, Elizabeth has hers.

INGA
But, after all, you have yours.

She unbuttons a button of his pajama top so that she can
touch his chest better.

FREDDY
Yes, I have mine.

INGA
And I have mine.

FREDDY
Yes... yes, you have yours.

INGA
Why don't we talk inside?

FREDDY
(keeping one hand on
her chest)
Well...
(he looks at his watch)
...perhaps for a few minutes.

They go into Inga's room.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. BURGOMEISTER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

VILLAGERS, with torches and DOGS, stand on the street, in
front of the Burgomeister's steps.

FIRST VILLAGER
Burgomeister Krempen.

SECOND VILLAGER
Burgomeister Krempen!

THIRD VILLAGER
(pounding on the door)
Burgomeister Krempen!

FOURTH VILLAGER
Mayor Krempen!

BURGOMEISTER
(opening the door)
What is it? What's going on?

FIRST VILLAGER
The monster, sir. The Monster is
loose.

BURGOMEISTER
Do you realize it's after eight
o'clock???

SECOND VILLAGER
Yes, sir, but the monster. He's
escaped!

THIRD VILLAGER
He's running through the countryside,
terrorizing the villagers. No one is
safe.

BURGOMEISTER
What do you mean 'the' monster -- as
if this happened every Sunday. You
mean 'a' monster.

FOURTH VILLAGER
No, sir, it's 'the' monster. The
Frankenstein monster.

BURGOMEISTER
Oh, Tommy Rot!

ASSORTED VILLAGERS
Yes!
Frankenstein!
The Frankenstein monster!

BURGOMEISTER
Now wait a minute! Just wait a minute!

They quiet down.

BURGOMEISTER
Now see here! There'll be no more
wild accusations bandied about while
I'm still Burgomeister of this
village. If there is mischief afoot,
the way to find out is to confront
the man with the charges brought
against him.It's the only decent
thing to do. And as long as I'm
Burgomeister of your village -- a
man's name is still his honor.

FIRST VILLAGER
But it's true, sir. Young Master
Freddy -- he's come from America and
read all of his grandfather's secret
notes. They've started the whole
business all over again, sir.

BURGOMEISTER
That swine!

SECOND VILLAGER
It's in the blood, sir. The whole
family is insane.

THIRD VILLAGER
He's got to be put away.

FOURTH VILLAGER
And the monster destroyed!

ASSORTED VILLAGERS
Yes!
The monster!
Kill the monster!
The monster must be destroyed!

BURGOMEISTER
Now see here! Before we go running
about, killing people, we'd better
make damned sure of our facts. A
riot is an ugly thing... and once
you get one started -- there's little
chance of stopping it short of
bloodshed.

"Groans" of disappointment from assorted Villagers.

BURGOMEISTER
So the first thing we'll do, is march
calmly up to the Frankenstein castle
and have a nice little chat with our
good doctor. Now then! Who doesn't
have a torch and a dog? All right --
follow me!

ASSORTED VILLAGERS
Yay!
Down with Frankenstein!
Kill the monster!

They all run off ahead of the Burgomeister.

CUT TO:

INT. INGA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Freddy and Inga are under the sheets. Only their faces can
be SEEN.

FREDDY
It wouldn't be right... you know
that.

INGA
Yes, I know.

FREDDY
It wouldn't be fair to her.

INGA
Yes, I know.

FREDDY
You've got to help me to remain
faithful.

INGA
Yes, I will.

FREDDY
...But an intellectual relationship,
like this -- we could have as often
as we wanted. Three times a day --
anything!

CUT TO:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT

The angry Villagers are marching and shouting, gathering up
steam on their way to the Frankenstein castle.

CUT TO:

INT. ELIZABETH'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Elizabeth is just finished brushing her hair, humming quietly
to herself. She stands up and blows out the candles near her
mirror.

She walks to some French doors that open onto a small balcony.
She opens the glass doors and looks at:

ANGLE ON MOON

Bright and full.

BACK TO SCENE

She takes a breath of fresh air, then closes the doors and
walks to her large double bed. She slips off her robe --
revealing her thin body in delicate nightgown.

Suddenly she hears:

"MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm."

She turns towards the French doors and listens. She decides
that it was nothing and gets into bed.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE CASTLE - NIGHT

The Burgomeister and the Villagers are at the steps of the
castle. The Burgomeister pounds on the front door.

CUT BACK TO:

ELIZABETH'S BEDROOM

Elizabeth lies in bed, illuminated be the flames from her
fireplace.

There is the soft SOUND of CURTAINS FLAPPING.

The French doors have been opened -- the silk curtains
flapping from a breeze outside.

CUT BACK TO:

EXT. CASTLE

The Burgomeister pounds louder and louder on the front door.

Finally the door opens and Freddy appears in his robe. He
looks at the angry mob.

BURGOMEISTER
Frederick Frankenstein?

FREDDY
You have the wrong house.

BURGOMEISTER
And who might you be?

FREDDY
Dr. Frederick Fronkonsteen.

BURGOMEISTER
The grandson of Victor 'Fronkonsteen'?

FREDDY
No!

BURGOMEISTER
What was your grandfather's name?

FREDDY
Victor Frankenstein.

Pause, as the Burgomeister tries to fit the pieces together.

CUT BACK TO:

ELIZABETH'S BEDROOM

Elizabeth has a contented smile on her face. Her eyes are
closed.

A LARGE SHADOW grows against the wall behind her.

The shadow crosses her face and blots out her key light from
the fireplace.

She opens her eyes and looks ahead. Her face freezes in
terror.

CUT BACK TO:

EXT. THE CASTLE

BURGOMEISTER
Forgive me for intruding so late at
night, Herr Baron. But an ugly rumor
has it that there are strange goings
on in this castle. These good citizens
are ready to rip you from limb to
limb unless you can offer some
rational explanation for their fears.
How say you?

FREDDY
Ugly, vicious rumous.

A BLOODCURDLING SCREAM!

ASSORTED VILLAGERS
What was that?
Listen!
Did you hear that?

BURGOMEISTER
They say, also, that you have
recreated the horrible monster who,
for so many years, has haunted and
terrorized the God-fearing people of
this village. What say you to that?

FREDDY
Poppycock!

Igor comes running out from inside the castle.

IGOR
He's back! He's back! The monster's
back!

Everyone looks at Freddy.

FREDDY
What monster?

IGOR
What d'ya mean "What monster?' You
remember...the one we made in the
basement.

EVERYONE LOOKS AT FREDDY

FREDDY
I think we all need a good night's
sleep. Why don't we meet next week
and thrash this thing out?

BURGOMEISTER
Now wait a minute!

IGOR
You don't understand, Master. The
big fellow's broken in and kidnapped
your fiancee.

FREDDY
What???

IGOR
He's carrying her off now through
the woods.

Freddy, the Burgomeister and Igor run around to the side of
the castle. The Villagers follow.

CUT TO:

EXT. SIDE OF CASTLE

The Monster can just be SEEN, far below, disappearing into
the woods (SEVEN TREES AND A BACKDROP). Elizabeth is slung
over his back.

ASSORTED VILLAGERS
There he is!
That's the monster!
After him!
Kill him!

The Burgomeister and all the Villagers run off after the
Monster, leaving Freddy an Igor alone.

IGOR
What now, boss? A little something
to eat and then join the chase?

FREDDY
No! The only hope now is to get him
back here. If I can just find a way
to relieve the pressure on his
cerebellum...

IGOR
That sound good, boss.

FREDDY
...and equalize the imbalance in his
cerebrospinal fluid...

IGOR
I like your style, master. How do we
get him here?

FREDDY
There's only one way.

IGOR
I'll bet it's a doozy.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

The Burgomeister and the Villagers are on the hunt.

The Burgomeister is being pulled along by a GREAT DANE.

THE VILLAGERS

climb little hills and rocks. OTHER DOGS are BARKING
ferociously.

BURGOMEISTER
There he is!

The Burgomeister's Great Dane is making so much noise, it's
difficult to hear.

1ST VILLAGER
What?

BURGOMEISTER
There he is!!

1ST VILLAGER
What?

The Burgomeister gives his leash a yank and the Great Dane
finally stops howling.

BURGOMEUSTER
(pointing)
I said -- there he is!

Several Villagers look up and then start SHOOTING at a TALL
VILLAGER, who is peeing on top of a distant rock. He has his
back turned to the other Villagers.

TALL VILLAGER
(turning around in
terror)
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! It's ME!

CUT TO:

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

The Monster enters the cave slightly out of breath and stands
the "fainted" Elizabeth on her feet.

He shakes her.

MONSTER
MMmmm.

He shakes her again.

MONSTER
MMmmm!

Elizabeth slowly opens her eyes.

The Monster smiles sweetly.

Elizabeth smiles sweetly in return -- forgetting for a moment
where she is. Then her smile turns to growing horror. She
starts to scream, but the Monster quickly covers her mouth.

After a moment, the Monster tries to make a "Shhhh" sound
with his finger, but as he releases her mouth to use his
"Shhh" finger... her SCREAM is still going on.

He covers her mouth again and shakes her.

MONSTER
MMMmmmm!

He gradually takes his hand from her mouth.

She is silent; but her eyes are filled with terror.

The Monster starts to unbutton his pants.

ELIZABETH
What...?

The Monster holds up his hand for her to "Wait a minute."

MONSTER
MMMmmmm!

He goes on unbuttoning his pants.

ELIZABETH
What in God's name are you doing?

MONSTER
Baack!

ELIZABETH
What?

MONSTER
(motioning for her to
move back)
Baack!

She moves back a foot.

MONSTER
Morrr!

She moves back another foot... fascinated.

We cannot see what she sees, but what ever it is... she is
suddenly filled with awe.

ELIZABETH
Oh my goodness! Nineteen if it's an
inch.

The Monster smiles.

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

The Burgomeister and the Villagers make their way through
the rocks and hills, alongside a stream.

Row boats -- with Villagers, torches and Dogs -- travel up
the stream alongside the Villagers who are on land.

CUT TO:

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

Elizabeth and the Monster are lying on a bed of leaves.

ELIZABETH
Penny for your thoughts.

The Monster's eyes twinkle lasciviously.

ELIZABETH
You're incorrigible!... Aren't you?

MONSTER
MMMmmmm.

ELIZABETH
All right then... seven's always
been my lucky number.

They are about to kiss, when suddenly the Monster's ears
perk up as he hears:

MUSIC: THE EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY

He doesn't know where it is coming from.

ELIZABETH
What, dear? What is it?

The Monster gives a pathetic little cry.

MONSTER
MMMmm!

ELIZABETH
Is it that music?

MONSTER
MMMMM! MMMMM!

ELIZABETH
Probably just some nearby cottage.
Nothing to worry about.

The Monster gets up and starts out of the cave... pulled by
forces he doesn't understand.

ELIZABETH
Where are you going? They've left
their F-M station on, that's all.

He's gone.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. ROOF OF CASTLE - NIGHT

Freddy stands in the night air, playing the violin -- a
handkerchief under his chin.

In front of him is a tall microphone on a stand, with two
enormous speakers nearby, facing the woods.

Igor sits on a chair, near Freddy, like a member of a band
waiting for his cue.

Now Igor gets up, put his trumpet to his lips, and blows
just the "bridge." When he is finished, he sits back down
and waits.

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

The Monster walks passionately through the woods, fighting
the branches in order to get to the music.

CUT TO:

EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE WOODS - NIGHT

The Burgomeister and the Villagers make their way through
the rocks and hills, alongside a stream.

Rowboats, with Villagers, torches and Dogs, travel up the
stream, alongside the Villagers who are on land.

The rocks, hills and stream all look vaguely familiar.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOF OF CASTLE - NIGHT

The Monster can be SEEN, crawling up the side of the Castle,
trying to make it onto the roof.

Freddy and Igor move close to the edges of the roof as Freddy
continues playing.

FREDDY
(to the Monster)
You can do it.

The Monster inches closer.

FREDDY
You can do it.

The Monster inches closer.

IGOR
Come on, big fellow!

FREDDY
(to Igor)
Is everything ready?

IGOR
Yes, master. Are you sure you want
to go through with it?

FREDDY
It's the only way.

IGOR
Okay, boss! But I hope you know what
you're doing.

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

The Burgomeister stands in water up to his waist -- his
clothes all wet and torn.

His Great Dane is swimming next to him, BARKING LOUDLY.

1ST VILLAGER
Wait a minute! Maybe he went back to
the castle.

2ND VILLAGER
That's right!

3RD VILLAGER
He's probably right.

2ND VILLAGER
It was all a trick by that lunatic
doctor.

3RD VILLAGER
Let's go back there and tear them
both to pieces!

4TH VILLAGER
Now see here. Let's not lose our
heads. We've always listened to our
Burgomeister in the past. We should
have the decency to hear him now.

1ST VILLAGER
Well -- what do you say, Burgomeister?

BURGOMEISTER
Let's go back there and tear them to
pieces!

ASSORTED VILLAGERS
Yay!
Back to the castle!
Kill them both!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LABORATORY - NIGHT

The Monster lies on an operating table. His eyes are closed.

From out of his head come ten thin tubes, connecting to one
large tube.

The large tube travels up, above the Monster's head, then
turns across the room for five or six feet, then down again
where it connects with ten smaller tubes that are stuck into:

FREDDY'S HEAD

Freddy lies on an operating table. His eyes are closed.

Inga operates two "INTAKE" - "OUTPUT" gauges.

IGOR
It's the waiting I can't stand.

CUT TO:

INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY

Frau Blucher sits in a chair, bare-chested.

She is flaggelating herself with a handful of thin branches.

She mumbles some mysterious prayer in German -- occasionally
looking out through a crack in the door to see what is
happening to "her" monster and Freddy.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. LABORATORY

IGOR
How do you know they're done?

INGA
The doctor said to allow seven
minutes: no more and no less -- or
else they could both become hopelessly
paralyzed.

CUT TO:

GIANT CLOCK ON THE WALL

with a "sweep" second hand. It is FOUR MINUTES AFTER TEN.

BACK TO SCENE

IGOR
How long is it so far?

INGA
Four

IGOR
Three minutes to go!

INGA
Yes.

IGOR
What d'ya want to do to kill time?

INGA
Oh, Igor -- I'm so afraid! I just
hope this all ends well.

Igor looks into the LENS of the CAMERA.

CUT TO:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT

The Burgomeister and the Villagers are almost at the front
door.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. LABORATORY

Inga and Igor watch over the two bodies.

CUT TO:

THE CLOCK

It is FIVE MINUTES AFTER TEN.

CUT TO:

EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT

The Villagers are pounding on the front door.

CUT TO:

INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY

Frau Blucher is at the height of her self-flagellation.

She is almost in ecstasy.

FRAU BLUCHER
Oh, yes! Oh, yes, yes, yes!

CUT TO:

THE CLOCK

It is FIVE AND A HALF MINUTES AFTER TEN.

CUT TO:

EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT

The villagers are RAMONG THE FRONT DOOR DOWN with a giant
pole.

CUT TO:

INT. LABORATORY

INGA
Igor -- are you sure the monster has
a good brain? Are you absolutely
certain that you took the brain of
Hans Delbruck that night?

IGOR
Absolutely! May my mother grow two
heads if I'm not telling the truth.

CUT TO:

TWO-HEADED OLD LADY

rocking in a chair.

CUT TO:

EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT

The front door gives way. The Burgomeister and the Villagers
burst into the castle.

CUT TO:

INT. RECEPTION HALL

The Villagers scatter every way, in search of the doctor and
the monster.

CUT TO:

THE CLOCK

It is SIX MINUTES AND TWENTY SECONDS AFTER TEN.

INT. LABORATORY

INGA
(looking up as she
hears the Villagers)
What's that noise?

IGOR
Sounds like visitors. It's all right --
Frau Blucher will show them in.

CUT TO:

INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY

Frau Blucher is dripping wet from the passion of her climax.

FRAU BLUCHER
Victor. Victor! I'm coming. I'm
coming, Victor!

CUT TO:

INT. LABORATORY

Villagers come pouring down the stairs and into the
laboratory.

FIRST VILLAGER
There they are!

ASSORTED VILLAGERS
Kill them!
Kill that doctor!
Kill the monster!
Tear them both to pieces!

INGA
(handling the dials)
Igor -- what time is it?

IGOR
Oh, must be around ten... ten-thirty.

INGA
Igor -- the clock! Hurry!

Igor looks at it:

THE CLOCK

It is SIX MINUTES AND FORTY-FIVE SECONDS AFTER TEN.

BACK TO SCENE

IGOR
Another fifteen seconds to go.

INGA
Do something! Stall them!

Igor rushes up to the charging Villagers.

IGOR
Now see here! What is the meaning of
this?

BURGOMEISTER
We want the doctor!

IGOR
What?

BURGOMEISTER
We want the doctor!

IGOR
What??

FIRST VILLAGER
...Come on, men!

They sweep right over Igor.

CUT TO:

THE CLOCK

It is SIX MINUTES AND FIFTY SECONDS AFTER TEN.

BACK TO SCENE

SECOND VILLAGER
(seeing Freddy lying
on his table)
Here's that crackpot doctor. Let's
get him first!

Several Villagers grab Freddy's body and pull the tubes out
from his head.

THE CLOCK

ZOOM TO CLOCK. It is only SIX MINUTES AND FIFTY-THREE SECONDS
AFTER TEN.

ANOTHER ANGLE

INGA
No! Please!

Inga is standing further back, near the monster, unable to
take her eyes off the clock and dials.

The Villagers hold Freddy up, over their shoulders, yelling
and screaming. They start off with him.

A GIANT VOICE
(o.s.)
Put that man down!

Everyone quiets down and turns towards the Voice.

There, on his operating table -- holding the removed tubes
from his head -- sits the Monster.

AN OLD WOMAN
Why... it's the monster!

BURGOMEISTER
No, it couldn't be.

THIRD VILLAGER
Yes it is. It must be.

MONSTER
(standing on his
operating table)
I said: Put that man down!

The frightened Villagers carry Freddy back to his table and
lay him down.

BURGOMEISTER
And who are you, sir, that you order
these people about?

MONSTER
I am a relative of the doctor's. I
came to visit him a few weeks ago,
in hopes that this distinguished
member of my family might be able to
help me with a problem that I've had
since birth... and which has caused
more sorrow in my heart than I wish
on any man.

ASSORTED VILLAGERS
(whispering)
What'd he say? Relative??

MONSTER
You see, because of my great size
and the somewhat unusual features of
my head -- when women look at me,
their first impulse is to scream;
children often cry, or vomit; and
men are inclined to beat me over the
head.

The Laboratory is silent.

MONSTER
I lived in hopes of meeting people
who would... overlook my outward
appearance and respect me for whatever
good qualities I had to offer. If
anyone had ever shown a little
kindness, I would have returned it,
I think, at least one hundred times
over. And for that one person's
sake... I would have made piece with
the whole world. Do you understand
what it means -- never to see a kind
or happy face? You could imagine
then, perhaps, how such bitterness
led me, at last, to the brink of
another kind or life. I decided that
if I couldn't inspire love...which
was my deepest hope... I would,
instead... cause fear.

A quiet shudder runs through the Villagers.

MONSTER
But all of that happened to me a
lifetime ago. And I paid for my
crimes... severely. It was just then
that fate, or chance, brought me to
our famous doctor. I found this man
to be vain; I found him to be driven
with ambitions of personal glory,
and consumed with an unquenchable
thirst for power. But even at the
height of his quest -- this ego-
driven, brilliant and half-crazed
scientist... always... always...
held an image of me as something
beautiful. And then, at the moment
of truth, when it would have been
easy enough to run and stay out of
danger... he used himself as a guinea
pig, in order to give me a calmer
brain... and a slightly more eloquent
way of speaking. Yes! I am 'The
Monster"... sometimes known as 'Him,'
or occasionally, 'The Creature.' But
they're one and the same. I am that
tall, peculiarly attractive stranger,
with the winning smile. Would you
all get the hell out of here!

THE VILLAGERS

mumble and shuffle out of the laboratory.

INGA
Oh, 'It's'...you were wonderful. But
I'm so worried about the doctor.

Igor is listening to Freddy's heartbeat, as Inga and the
Monster come to him.

They all three put their ears to Freddy's chest and listen.

They smile.

DISSOLVE TO:

LEGEND ON THE SCREEN

It reads:

A FEW WEEKS LATER

INT. MODERN BEDROOM - NIGHT

Elizabeth is sitting at her makeup table, dressed in a
nightgown, getting ready for bed.

ELIZABETH
Darling! I hope you didn't find
Daddy's little party too boring. He
did it just for you, and he meant
well. Tell me you liked it.

CUT TO:

BATHROOM DOOR

A VOICE
(o.s.)
MMmmm.

ELIZABETH'S VOICE
(o.s.)
I know Mummy's just a scatterbrain
without a serious thought in her
head, but... you lover her just a
little bit, don't you?

A VOICE
(o.s.)
MMmmm.

ELIZABETH'S VOICE
(o.s.)
I'm ready for bed, sweetheart. Almost
done??

The bathroom door opens and the Monster steps out. He is
dressed in elegant silk pajamas and a handsome robe.

MONSTER
MMmmm.

Even though his electrodes still stick out from his neck, he
appears well-groomed. Elizabeth gets into bed and waits for
him.

ELIZABETH
Did you see?... I put a special hamper
in the bathroom just for your shirts.
The other one is just for socks and
poo-poo undies.

MONSTER
(as he takes off his
robe)
MMmmm.

He gets into bead and turns out the table lamp.

ELIZABETH
Still happy you married me?

MONSTER
MMmmm.

ELIZABETH
Love me oodles and oodles?

MONSTER
MMmmm.

ELIZABETH
So this is what it's like to be
completely happy!

MONSTER
MMmmm.

WIPE TO:

INT. CASTLE BEDROOM - NIGHT

Freddy is sitting in an easy chair near the fire, dressed in
pajamas and reading a newspaper. (Probably the Transylvania
Tribune -- International Edition).

From the bathroom comes the SOUND of Inga, HUMING a pleasant
tune to herself.

INGA'S VOICE
(o.s., from the
bathroom)
Did you have a nice day today?

FREDDY
Oh, just the usual: sore throats, a
few colds. Someone who thought he
was a werewolf, and two bladder
transplants.

She goes on humming.

INGA'S VOICE
(o.s.)
Did you notice the new drapes I put
up in the bedroom?

FREDDY
(looking up)
Yes!... They're very nice.

INGA'S VOICE
(o.s.)
Oh, I'm glad.

A short pause of silence, and then Inga begins humming the
EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY, quietly unconsciously.

Freddy's face is hidden behind the newspaper, but he is
suddenly completely motionless.

INGA'S VOICE
(o.s.)
I was hoping you'd like them.

She continues humming the Lullaby.

Freddy lowly lowers the newspaper.

He touches his fingertips to his temple. His eyes open and
close, as if he were trying to focus.

Inga comes out of the bathroom, dressed in her nightgown,
and folds back the covers of their large double bed.

She continues humming.

INGA
All right if I turn out the lamp,
sweetheart?

FREDDY
(answering)
MMmmm.

She turns out the lamp as she goes on humming. The bedroom
is lit only by moonlight and the glow from the fireplace.

INGA
(as she is arranging
the pillows)
Shall I set the alarm?

FREDDY
MMMmmm.

She goes on humming, as she pulls out the stopper on the
alarm clock. Freddy rises. His arms hang away from his body,
STIFFLY. He walks in fits and jerks.

FREDDY
MMMMmmmmm!

INGA
Yes, sweetie... I heard you. So! I'm
ready for you, meine Liebe.

Freddy is standing at the edge of the bed.

INGA
Are you ready for me?

FREDDY
MMMMmmmmm!

INGA
Ready for Fuchsmachen???

FREDDY
MMMMMMmmmmmmmmm!

INGA
I love it when you're excited. Come
then, my Apfelstrudel! Come into my
arms and let me hold you.

Freddy kneels onto the bed.

A long pause.

INGA
Sweetheart... Is this really you???

FREDDY
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

CUT TO:

TURRET AT THE TOP OF THE CASTLE

Igor sits in the window, blowing his trumpet.

ANOTHER ANGLE

PULL BACK SLOWLY, until the whole castle in SEEN.

FADE OUT:

THE END

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