"In writing fiction, the more fantastic the tale, the plainer the prose should be. Don't ask your readers to admire your words when you want them to believe your story." - Ben Bova [ more quotes ]

"FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH"

Screenplay by

Cameron Crowe



FADE IN:

EXT. RIDGEMONT CENTER MALL - NIGHT

From the outside parking lot it looks like an enormous beached
whale. It is the prime hangout for all the teenagers in the
area. Kids mill around the parking lot or stand by the mall
entrance.

INT. RIDGEMONT CENTER MALL

There are three levels of stores underneath a massive
fluorescent roof. Different music comes from each store. It
looks seventies-modern, but already used and run-down. Groups
of kids cruise the mall, eyeing each other and acting cool.

INT. SWENSON'S ICE-CREAM PARLOR - NIGHT

The teenage waitresses in their peppermint pattie uniforms
are rushing around, trying to keep up with their orders.

A good-looking man in his mid-twenties enters and sits. He
wears a plastic name tag that says: "Pacific Stereo Audio
Consultant, RON JOHNSON."

Two Swenson's Waitresses pass by with supreme indifference,
and take their orders into the back kitchen.

INT. SWENSON'S BACK KITCHEN

WAITRESS #1
I think he looks like Richard Gere.

The two Waitresses discuss the issue at hand. One of them,
Linda Barrett, is the seventeen year old, retired sex queen
of Ridgemont High.

WAITRESS #1
I think he looks like... Richard
Gere. (Bruce Springsteen)

LINDA
Did you see his cute little butt?

A third waitress enters.

WAITRESS #2
Let's talk about C-19.

WAITRESS #1 AND LINDA
We were!

WAITRESS #2
I think I'll drop over and change
the shakers.

LINDA
No, be cool, that's Stacy's section.

Through the entrance, we see Stacy Hamilton. She is the
fifteen-year-old trainee, sweet-looking with just the last
traces of baby fat. She puts down a glass of water for Ron,
spills some and mops it up.

WAITRESS #1
He's too old for Stacy, she hasn't
even started high school yet.

A flustered Stacy enters the back kitchen.

LINDA
How's it going.

STACY
Do you think that guy's cute?

WAITRESS #1
In a blow-dryed kind of way.

STACY
Does anyone else want to take his
table?

LINDA
Don't you like him?

STACY
Yeah, but I fucked up. You can take
it. Really.

LINDA
Come on, Stacy, it's your section
and your man.

STACY
What should I do?

LINDA
Just take his order, look him in the
eye and if he says anything remotely
funny, laugh a lot.

She fluffs up Stacy's hair and gently shoves her towards the
door. Stacy reluctantly exits.

INT. SWENSON'S DINING ROOM

Stacy goes to Ron's table.

RON
So you working hard or hardly working?

Stacy thinks it over, decides it's a joke and laughs (a little
too late). Ron looks at her soulfully.

RON
You look like you could still be in
high school.

STACY
I know, everyone says that.

He stares at her and she stares back uncomfortably.

STACY
What can I get for you tonight.

RON
How about your phone number?

Stacy smiles nervously.

INT. RIDGEMONT MALL - OUTSIDE SWENSON'S - NIGHT

A teenage boy stands in front of an in-mall theatre across
from Swenson's. He wears a stiff over-sized tuxedo suit. He
is Mark "The Rat" Ratner, a ticket taker on the job.

Mike Damone, a transplanted Easterner, bops over from the
record store, eyeing every girl he passes. He stops at the
movie theatre.

THE RAT
Do you ever look at those girls who
work at Swenson's? They're beautiful.
And I have to stand out here and
watch them six nights a week.

DAMONE
You should work for yourself.

Two Junior High Kids spot Damone, walk up to him.

DAMONE
What can I do for you, gentlemen?

JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
You the guy with the Van Halen
tickets?

DAMONE
I could be.

JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
What do you want for something in
the first ten rows?

DAMONE
Twenty bucks apiece.

JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
Those tickets were only twelve fifty!

DAMONE
So don't buy 'em.

JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
(to friend)
All the other scalpers are sold out,
Arnold.

Damone reacts indignantly.

DAMONE
Scalper? You call me a scalper? I
perform a service, my friends. The
service costs money. Now do you want
the tickets or not?

The Kids look at each other.

JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
Are you sure you can't go any lower.

DAMONE
These are my special back-to-school
prices.

JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
We'll take 'em.

Damone reaches inside his pants pocket for a wad of tickets.

EXT. CARL'S JR. - NIGHT

At the other end of the mall is a neon-lit Carl's Jr.
Hamburger Restaurant. If Swenson's was the warm up, this is
the main attraction of the Ridgemont Mall.

INT. CARL'S JR.

Back-to-school banners hang from the walls. Many kids are
lined up at the counters. In the middle of the kitchen,
directing all the orders, is a seventeen year old named Brad.
He moves confidently, observing the fryer, checking cup
supply, and giving an affectionate squeeze to a pretty cashier
named Lisa. She lets him kiss her, but only once.

A teenage Customer shouts to Brad from the front counter.

CUSTOMER
Hey Brad! I waited till you came on!
I wanted your fries.

Brad smiles, walks over to the fryer and discards the fries
left from the previous shift. He shouts to the other employees
as he puts in a new batch, "his" batch.

BRAD
We need fifteen Superstars, David!

FELLOW EMPLOYEE #1
Okay, Brad!

BRAD
I'll take care of the fry orders!
Just get me the Superstars!

FELLOW EMPLOYEE #2
Fish sandwiches!

Brad spots three surfers sitting in the dining area. None of
them are wearing shirts.

BRAD
Hey you guys! You had shirts on when
you came in here.

ANGLE ON THE MAIN SURFER

a bleary kid sitting at the head of the table. He runs a
hand through his long, stringy blond hair. After a time, he
speaks.

SPICOLI
Something happened to them, mon.

BRAD
Come on, Spicoli. Why don't you just
put your shirts back on? See the
sign?

ANGLE ON HANDWRITTEN SIGN IN WINDOW

that reads: "No Shirts, No Shoes, No Dice"

INT. CARL'S JR.

A store manager, Dennis Taylor, bustles up to Brad.

DENNIS
Any problems?

BRAD
No, just a couple of surfers with no
shirts on. I took care of it, Dennis.

ANGLE ON SURFERS

grumbling, putting shirts back on. It pains them.

Dennis heads back to his office when he sees something in
the trash bin.

DENNIS
Did you throw away those fries,
Hamilton?

BRAD
They were left over from the last
shift.

DENNIS
Those were perfectly good fries,
Hamilton.
(glares at Brad)
Perfectly good.

BRAD
But they weren't mine.

Brad laughs, goes back to work.

INT. MALL - LATE NIGHT

It is closed and only a few janitors remain. Stacy and Linda
walk through the large empty mall.

STACY
He gave me his card.
(lovingly)
'Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant.'

LINDA
(amused)
Should we buy a frame for that?

STACY
Come on, Linda, I haven't had a
boyfriend all summer. You promised
when I started working at the mall
that my life would change... Do you
think he'll call this week?

LINDA
Listen, Stace, you want to know about
guys? I'll tell you. They're mostly
chicken. Before I met Doug I chased
after every guy I thought was cute.
I thought if I gave out a vibe they'd
get the message and call me up. Well,
guess what? They don't call.

STACY
So what did you do?

LINDA
I called them. If I was sitting next
to a guy and I wanted to sit closer,
I'd sit closer. If I wanted to kiss
him, I'd just do it. You want Ron
Johnson? Grab him.

STACY
I can't do that.

They pass a janitor cleaning graffiti that says: LINCOLN
SURF NAZIS and MAGGOT LUST FOR THE DUST.

LINDA
Face it. With some guys you have to
make the first move. A lot of guys
are just... wussies.

STACY
Really?

LINDA
Stacy, what are you waiting for?
You're fifteen. I did it when I was
thirteen. It's no huge thing. It's
just sex. If you don't, one of the
other girls will.

STACY
(cute)
He was hot, wasn't he?

LINDA
If I didn't have a fiancÚ in Chicago,
I'd go for it.

A young Girl runs and catches up with Linda and Stacy.

GIRL
(breathless)
Are you Linda Barrett?

LINDA
Yes.

GIRL
I'm Carrie Frazier from Toys 'R Us.
Judy Hinton from May Company told me
I could ask you something.

Linda nods.

GIRL
I have this situation with my
boyfriend, and I wanted to...
(looks at Stacy, then
whispers in Linda's
ear)

Linda listens thoughtfully, then clicks into her "sex expert"
mode.

LINDA
Okay, are you over sixteen?

The Girl nods.

LINDA
All right, what you want to do is go
to the Free Clinic and tell the doctor
that you have sex regularly -- several
times a week -- and that you need
Nornel One Plus Fifty's.

GIRL
And they don't call my parents?

LINDA
Not if you're over sixteen.

GIRL
Okay. Thanks a lot, Linda.

LINDA
And don't let them talk you into a
diaphragm either.

The Girl thanks Linda again. Linda and Stacy get to the back
exit of the mall and Linda uses a key to open the door.

STACY
I can't believe I start high school
tomorrow.

LINDA
Believe it.

They exit the mall, into the night.

EXT. RIDGEMONT SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

We see all the elements of the first day of school. The
students carry new books, explore new lockers, begin to stake
out their ground.

Someone has taken the steel letters from the green vanguard
out front. It reads: "IDG MON SENOR HI HO."

The rest of Ridgemont High is covered with toilet paper. And
a black spray paint message along the side of the front office
building reads, "LINCOLN SURF NAZIS."

EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT - DAY

Brad pulls into the Ridgemont High parking lot. He drives a
beat-up, four-door model LTD sedan. Three friends wait for
him near his parking space.

They are dressed in the same golf caps with brand logos on
the front like CAT, NATIONAL and CHAINSAW.

BUDDY #1
Hamilton!

BUDDY #2
The cruising vessel! Hey -- Yooooo!

Brad climbs out of his car and pats it admiringly.

BRAD
Six more payments, gentlemen.

Brad joins his friends, and they walk towards the gymnasium.

EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT

We see a shiny, new, blue Mustang whip into the parking lot.
Students scatter from the parking space. Behind the wheel is
football star Charles Jefferson. A huge, black kid. The halls
at Ridgemont part for Charles Jefferson.

Rat and Damone are in the parking lot. Damone surrounded by
underclassmen (customers) selling tickets.

DAMONE
See that Mustang? U.C.L.A. gave
Charles Jefferson that car when he
was a sophomore.

The underclassmen are impressed. They watch as Jefferson
opens his car door and stands to his full height, over six-
foot tall. He opens his trunk and pulls out no books, just a
football duffel bag. He slowly walks by Damone, Rat and the
underclassmen.

DAMONE
How ya doing! That car looks great,
Charles!

Jefferson gives Damone a death glare.

JEFFERSON
Don't... fuck... with... it.

He moves on. Damone resumes selling tickets.

DAMONE
Shit, that's my man.

EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT

We see a clutching, smooching couple walk by. Cheerleader
Cindy Carr and her boyfriend, Gregg Adams.

EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT - DAY

The Four Stoners (from Carl's Jr.) tumble out of a van in
the parking lot. They head towards the gymnasium.

INT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM - DAY

Standing by the A-B-C-D-E registration counter in the
gymnasium, Brad waits to pick up his red ad card. He stands
surrounded by his buddies. They nod vigorously at everything
Brad says. As he talks, fellow students all say hello or pat
him as they pass.

One troubled-looking boy, Arnold, walks up to Brad.

ARNOLD
Brad, can I talk to you a minute?

BRAD
Arnold. What's happening?

Arnold speaks confidentially to Brad.

ARNOLD
Brad, I really fuckin' hate
McDonald's, man. Ever since they
started in with the chicken,
everything went downhill.

BRAD
You want to work at Carl's?

ARNOLD
Oh, man, if you could swing something
there, I'd do anything for you. I
want to work with you guys.

BRAD
I can probably get you in there.
Just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.

ARNOLD
All right!!

Brad notices Stacy and nods with complete inner cool.

STACY
Hi, Brad.

BRAD
Sis.

BRAD'S BUDDIES
Hey, Stacy.

STACY
Hi... Where's Lisa?

BRAD
Everyone wants to know where Lisa
is. How should I know where Lisa is?
(to buddies)
What am I gonna do? Now my little
sister goes to the same high school.
The party's over.
(to Stacy)
So who do you have first period?

STACY
U.S. History. Mr. Hand.

BRAD
Hey-yo.

DAVID
Hey-yoooooooooo.

STACY
(concerned)
What's wrong with Mr. Hand?

BRAD
Nothing... if you like 'Hawaii Five
O.' You better get in class, Stacy.
That's not the one to be late to.

Stacy hurries off.

RICH
(as soon as she is
gone)
Your sister is really turning into a
fox.

BRAD
You should see her in the morning.

BRAD'S BUDDIES
Hey-yooooooooooo.

INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - DAY

Stacy barely slips in the door before the final attendance
bell sounds. She finds a seat just as the teacher's cubicle
door opens at the back of the classroom. A tall figure comes
barreling down the aisle. He is Mr. Hand. The man makes a
double-speed step to the door at the front of the class,
kicks the door shut and locks it. The windows rattle in their
frames. Stacy watches, wide-eyed, at her first high school
class.

MR. HAND
Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.

Mr. Hand writes his name on the green chalkboard before his
class. Every letter is a small explosion of chalk.

MR. HAND
(almost sweetly)
I have but one question for you on
our first morning 'together.'
(pause)
Can you attend my class? Pakalo?...
Understand?... History has proven us
one basic fact. Man does not do
anything that is not for his own
good. It is for your own good that
you attend my class. And if you can't
make it... I can make you.

An impatient knock begins at the front door of the classroom.

MR. HAND
We have a twenty-question quiz every
Friday. It will cover all the material
we've dealt with during the week.
There will be no make-up exams. It's
important that you all have your
Land of Truth and Liberty textbooks
by Wednesday. At the latest.

The knock continues.

MR. HAND
Your grade is the average of all
your quizzes, plus the midterm and
final, which counts for one-third.
Got it?

The mystery knocker tries a lazy calypso beat on the front
door. No one in Mr. Hand's U.S. History class dares mention
it, much less answer it.

Stacy grips her desk with the tension of her first day.

MR. HAND
Also. There will be no eating in
this class. You get used to doing
your own business on your own time.
That's one demand I make. I don't
like staying after class with you on
detention. That's my time. I don't
like wasting it. Just like you
wouldn't want me to come to your
house some evening and discuss U.S.
History on your time. Pakalo?

Hand finally turns, as if he has just noticed the sound at
the door and opens the door an inch.

Jeffrey Spicoli stands in the doorway, red eyes glistening.
His long, blond hair is still wet and streaming down the
back of his white peasant shirt.

He grins, oblivious to such trivial matters as attendance
bells. A Student sitting near Stacy turns to his friends.

STUDENT
That guy has been stoned since the
third grade.

MR. HAND
Yes?

SPICOLI
Yeah. I'm registered for this class.

MR. HAND
What class?

SPICOLI
This is U.S. History, right? I saw
the globe in the window.

MR. HAND
(appears enthralled)
Really?

Spicoli holds his red ad card up to the crack in the door.

SPICOLI
Can I come in?

MR. HAND
(swinging door open)
Oh, please. I get so lonely when
that third attendance bell rings and
I don't see all my kids here.

Spicoli laughs. He is the only one.

SPICOLI
Sorry I'm late. This new schedule is
totally confusing.

Mr. Hand takes the red ad card and reads from it with utter
fascination.

MR. HAND
Mr. Spicoli?

SPICOLI
That's the name they gave me.

Mr. Hand slowly tears the card into little pieces and
sprinkles the pieces over his wastebasket.

Spicoli watches in disbelief. His hands are frozen in the
process of removing his backpack.

SPICOLI
You just ripped my card in two!

MR. HAND
Yes.

SPICOLI
Hey, bud. What's your problem?

Mr. Hand moves to within inches of Spicoli's face.

MR. HAND
No problem at all. I think you know
where the front office is.

It takes a moment for the words to work their way out of
Jeff Spicoli's mouth.

SPICOLI
You... dick.

In the tense moment that follows, no one in the class is
sure what might happen.

Mr. Hand simply turns away from Jeff Spicoli as if he ceased
to exist and coolly continues his lecture.

MR. HAND
I've taken the time to print up a
complete schedule of class quizzes,
and the chapters they cover. Please
pass them back to the desks behind
you...

Hand begins passing out stacks of purple mimeographed sheets.

ANGLE ON STUDENTS

all smelling the purple mimeographed sheets.

Still standing in the doorway, hyperventilating with fifteen-
year-old adrenaline, is Jeff Spicoli. After a time, he fishes
a few bits of his ad card out of the wastebasket and huffs
out of the room.

EXT. RIDGEMONT LUNCH COURT - AFTERNOON

It's packed. The school's outdoor dining area is actually
just a small courtyard lined with fast food machines and
dominated by a large oak tree in the center. Standing at the
center of lunch court, under the large oak tree, is Brad
Hamilton and his golf-cap Buddies.

BRAD
You hear about the surfer in Mr.
Hand's class?

His Buddies shake their heads.

BRAD
Told Hand to fuck off.

BRAD'S BUDDIES
Whoa!

Brad sees another friend pass through lunch court.

BRAD
Thompson!

Brad waits for him to pass.

BRAD
I hear Thompson got canned at Bob's
this summer.

BUDDY #1
Yeah. They hacked his hours, so he
quit.

BRAD
Where is he now?

BUDDY #1
Making two eighty at Seven-Eleven.

BRAD
Man.
(pause)
They make you wear a fuckin' candy
stripe suit over there.

BUDDY #2
Poor guy.

BRAD
Poor guy.

EXT. LUNCH COURT - ANGLE ON THE 200 BUILDING BATHROOM

Near the outer rim of lunch court. Jeff Spicoli comes
stumbling out into the daylight, surrounded by a small group
of Ridgemont Stoners. Marijuana smoke billows out behind
them.

STONER BUDDY #1
It was so bitchin', mon. Everybody
is talking about it.

STONER BUDDY #2
Totally.

SPICOLI
The motherfucker pissed me off.

STONER BUDDY #2
Totally. You don't have to take that
shit.

SPICOLI
I didn't take that shit.

They all laugh, flip hair out of their eyes.

STONER BUDDY #1
Tell us again. What happened after
he ripped up your ad card?

SPICOLI
I called him a dick. And then I
reached for his class notes, and I
ripped 'em up. I said, 'Hey bud.
Two can play this game.'

The Stoners go wild.

SPICOLI
I'll tell you this. If he hassles me
again, I can't be responsible for
what happens... you know why?

STONER BUDDY #1
Because he's a fuckin' dick!

SPICOLI
You got it.
(pause)
Gimme a dollar.

One surfer digs out a dollar for Spicoli. They look out at
lunch court, see it teeming with straight kids. They turn
and walk towards the parking lot.

EXT. LUNCH COURT - ANGLE ON STACY AND LINDA

as they walk onto lunch court. They take a seat on the
outskirts of the area and watch all the students crowding
onto the eating area.

LINDA
I hear some surfer pulled a knife on
Mr. Hand this morning.

STACY
No way! He just called him a dick.

LINDA
God. People exaggerate so much at
this school.

The school couple, Cindy and Gregg walk by.

CINDY
Hi, Linda. God, you look so great.

LINDA
Hi, you guys. This is Stacy. Stacy,
this is Gregg Adams and Cindy Carr.

GREGG AND CINDY
Hi, Stacy.

Stacy smiles. Gregg and Cindy move on, repeating the same
scene a few feet away.

LINDA
If there's one thing that never
changes... it's a cheerleader.

Stacy turns to see a girl with short, black hair passing by,
wearing tight black spandex pants, and dark lipstick.

STACY
Linda. That girl looks just like Pat
Benatar.

LINDA
I know.

They watch her pass.

LINDA
Actually, there are three girls at
Ridgemont who have cultivated the
Pat Benatar look.

Linda gestures out on lunch court.

ANGLE ON ANOTHER PAT BENATAR LOOK-ALIKE

wearing pink spandex pants and short-cropped black hair with
dark lipstick.

ANGLE ON STILL ANOTHER PAT BENATAR LOOK-ALIKE

wearing blue spandex pants and short black hair. She stands
a good distance away from the other two.

LINDA
None of them talk to each other.

Linda looks at them with bemusement but Stacy is wondering.

STACY
Do you think guys find that
attractive?

LINDA
Oh, give me a break, Stacy. You're
much prettier than them.

They sit and eat their lunches. Linda has her perennial diet
lunch of yogurt and raw vegetables.

STACY
Yeah but they look more sophisticated.
You'd probably think they'd be better
in bed.

LINDA
What do you mean 'better in bed.'
You either do it or you don't.

STACY
No there are variables that, like, I
might not be good at.

LINDA
What variables?

STACY
(shyly)
Like, you know, giving blow jobs.

LINDA
What's the big deal?

STACY
Well I never did it.

LINDA
There's nothing to it.

She takes out a carrot stick and eases it down her throat.
Stacy tries one but chokes.

LINDA
You just have to practice a little
first.
(feels her throat)
Relax these muscles. Think of your
throat as an open tunnel.

The girls try sliding the carrot sticks down their throats
without gagging.

ANGLE ON A BOY

at the next table; sees them and points them out to his
companions.

STACY
What happens... don't laugh at me,
but when a guy has an orgasm... you
know, like, how much comes out.

Stacy stops practicing and looks horrified. Linda laughs.

LINDA
Just kidding. About 10cc.

STACY
(enlightened)
Oh! That's where that group got its
name from.

They continue practicing as the boys look on. Stacy manages
to get almost a whole carrot down her throat to Linda's
amazement.

The group of boys break out in applause.

Stacy looks very embarrassed.

INT. BIOLOGY LAB - DAY

The class is situated so that all students sit at Bunson
burner tables lining the room.

Pat is seated at one of the tables and Stacy takes a seat
nearby; she looks at the ledge in front of her. It contains
a pig embryo. She listens to the conversation next to her.

GIRL STUDENT
I'll tell you right now. I'm not
going. I'll get sick or something.
I'm not going into a room with a
bunch of dead guys.

ARNOLD
You'll go. It's part of the final.

GIRL STUDENT
(a Pat Benatar)
Have you heard what they do? I'm
serious. Have you heard?

BOY STUDENT
What?

ARNOLD
The bodies are dissected, Mike, and
Mr. Vargas pulls out parts of the
dead body and holds them up. Okay?

BOY STUDENT
You mean he reaches in and pulls
this stuff out?

GIRL STUDENT
Yes.

BOY STUDENT
Like a heart?

GIRL STUDENT
Hearts, lungs, guts...

Stacy strains to hear more, just as Mr. Vargas -- a diminutive
man holding a coffee mug -- enters the class.

MR. VARGAS
Good day, everyone! I just switched
to Sanka. I'm running a little slow
today, so have a heart.

ANGLE ON THE RAT

He is riveted on Stacy Hamilton, swooning.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. STACY'S ROOM - NIGHT

We see Stacy's room, a young girl's room with posters and
frilly pillows. Stacy is in bed, and her Mother is just
leaving the room.

MOTHER
Sleep tight, Stacy.

STACY
Good night, Mom.

Her Mother shuts off the light, exits. Stacy pulls back the
covers. She is fully dressed.

EXT. STACY'S WINDOW - NIGHT

We see the window to Stacy's room slide slowly open, and
watch her slip outside. She hikes down a drainage pipe to
the street.

EXT. STREET CORNER - NIGHT

A brown MG pulls up. Stacy jumps from the shadows and hops
in. The car drives away.

INT. RON'S CAR - NIGHT

Ron sits behind the wheel, humming casually along to the
music on his car stereo.

Ron has on a light-brown leather jacket. He looks like a
contestant for "The Dating Game."

STACY
(a little nervous)
Thanks for picking me up.

RON
No problem.

He speeds off, turning up the radio to sing along.

RON
'The Cuer-vo Gold, the fi-ine
Columbian.'
(eyes Stacy)
You look nice tonight.

STACY
Thanks. So do you.

RON
Where do you feel like going?

STACY
I don't know. Wherever you want.

RON
How about the point?

STACY
(nervously)
The point sounds fine.

RON
(looks at her knowingly)
All right, the point it is.

We see Stacy's anxious face, as the car speeds up Ridgemont
Drive, with music.

EXT. THE POINT - NIGHT

Stacy and Ron sit in the car, listening to music.

The "point" is a natural lookout spot that lovers can
"discover." It is behind the baseball field and dugout of
Ridgemont High School.

Stacy and Ron get out of the car and walk to the baseball
dugout.

INT. DUGOUT - NIGHT

They sit side-by-side. Above them, a single light bulb shines
a very private fifty watts on things.

STACY
That's a nice shirt.

RON
Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Silence. They look at each other, look away.

RON
It's very warm out tonight.

STACY
It is. It's very warm. I wonder how
long it will last?

Ron leans over and kisses Stacy lightly on the cheek. Stacy
sits quietly for a moment, thinking, was that the first move?
Then she lunges at Ron and kisses him square on the mouth.
At first surprised, Ron then holds her there and kisses her
in return. After a time, he breaks away.

RON
Are you really nineteen?

STACY
Yes... I am really nineteen.

They continue making out.

RON
I think I better take you home.

STACY
What about those other guys you live
with?

RON
No. I mean back to your home.

But they make no moves in any direction. They continue making
out. Ron begins unbuttoning her blouse and massaging Stacy's
breasts. A moment later, he tugs at her pants. Awkwardly,
she starts to help him. He tilts her backward onto the
concrete dugout bench. They kiss feverishly, her hand pulling
off her shoes, then her pants. Ron goes to work.

RON
(whispers)
Is this your first time?

STACY
Yes.

STACY'S POINT OF VIEW

as she feels a man enter her for the first time, we see the
graffiti above her:

Surf Nazis Lincoln was here -- Sieg Heil Led Zeppelin Dan y
Roberto (Disco Fags)

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. SCHOOL LOCKERS - DAY

Stacy is standing by her locker, twirling the combination.
She is joined by Linda Barrett.

LINDA
Was it great?

STACY
It was okay.

LINDA
You'll always remember your first
time.

STACY
It was nice.

LINDA
So tell me, do you like Ron? Is it
serious?

STACY
Come on, Linda. It's just sex.

LINDA
Hey! That's my line!

They both laugh and walk down the hall.

EXT. HAMILTON HOME - LATE AFTERNOON

Stacy arrives home. The Hamilton home has that anonymous
prepackaged tract look, like many others in this lower-middle
class neighborhood.

Brad washes his car in the driveway and listens to the car
radio.

BRAD
Mom says to clean up the pool.

STACY
Why can't you do it?

BRAD
Your friends use the pool. Your
friends messed it up.

STACY
Your friends use the pool too.

BRAD
I take out the garbage.

STACY
Don't strain yourself.

Stacy bristles, and heads inside the front door.

INT. HAMILTON LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

The furniture in the Hamilton living room looks like it was
gleaned for a sale at Pic 'N Save. Through the living room,
one can see a very small, kidney-shaped pool.

Stacy checks an erasable telephone message sheet near the
refrigerator. There are two names on it:

BRAD/STACY. Brad's side is filled with messages.

Stacy's is empty.

She notices a summer bouquet floral arrangement.

Stacy reads the attached note. It reads: "Memories of You,
Ron Johnson." She quickly gathers it up and carries it back
outside. She fans the door several times to dispel the odor.

EXT. HAMILTON DRIVEWAY - AFTERNOON

STACY
Brad! Have Mom or Dad seen this?

BRAD
They're not home yet.

STACY
Brad, what would you say if I asked
you to just put these flowers in the
trunk of the Cruising Vessel and get
rid of them at work?

BRAD
I'd say... who the hell is Ron
Johnson?

STACY
I'll explain everything later.

Brad nods, as Stacy pushes the flowers into his arms.

INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - AFTERNOON

Damone expertly fills two glasses three-quarters full of
Kahlua, then adds a few drops of milk.

Music is playing on a nearby speaker. Damone hands The Rat a
drink and checks himself out in his mirror.

DAMONE
See that moustache coming in, Rat?

There is only a hint of peach fuzz, but he grooms it anyway.

DAMONE
See? You can almost press it out.

Damone turns around. His friend is preoccupied.

THE RAT
I am in love.

Damone takes a sip of his drink, looks at The Rat.

DAMONE
You... are a wuss. Part wimp. Part
pussy.

THE RAT
What do you mean -- wuss? This girl
is my exact type. It's her.
Definitely her.

DAMONE
(distracted)
It's definitely your mama.

THE RAT
Damone, you gotta listen to me.

Damone quits puttering around his room with the Kahlua and
milk. He grabs a chair and straddles it.

DAMONE
All right... where did you see her?

THE RAT
She's in my biology class.

DAMONE
Did you get her number?

THE RAT
No.

DAMONE
Did you get her name?

THE RAT
No. It's too soon.

DAMONE
It's never too soon! Girls decide
how far to let you go in the first
five minutes.

THE RAT
Well, what do you want me to do? Go
up to this strange girl in my biology
class and say, 'Hello! I'd like you
to take your clothes off and jump on
me?'

DAMONE
(thoughtfully)
I would. Yeah.

THE RAT
Really?

DAMONE
I can see it all now. This is going
to be just like the girl you fell in
love with at Fotomat this summer.
You bought forty bucks of fuckin'
film and you never even talked to
her.

THE RAT
(woeful)
You tell me, Mike. What do I do?

DAMONE
Okay. Okay.
(sighs, but loves it)
Here's what you do.

Damone gets up, moves to the door.

DAMONE
You start from the second you walk
into biology. Don't just walk...
move across the room.

He saunters over to the chair.

DAMONE
Don't talk to her. Let her know.
Use your face. Use your body. Use
everything. This is what I do. I
just sent out the vibe and I have
personally found that... girls do
respond. Something happens.

THE RAT
Of course something happens. You put
the vibe out to thirty million chicks,
you know something's gonna happen.

DAMONE
That's the idea, Rat. That's The
Attitude.

THE RAT
The Attitude? The Attitude dictates
that you don't care if she comes,
stays, lays or prays. Whatever
happens, your toes are still tappin'.
When you are the cruelest and the
coolest... then you have The Attitude.

Damone knocks down the rest of his drink, and we...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CARL'S JR. KITCHEN - NIGHT

We see Brad operating at full throttle in the kitchen, and
taking a moment to sneak a kiss with his girlfriend Lisa as
she goes to the front counter to open up a cash register.
She allows him only one kiss.

LISA
Were those flowers really for me,
Brad?

BRAD
Of course.

LISA
How much did they cost?

BRAD
Don't worry about it.

She gives him a kiss... on the cheek.

BRAD
Let's go to the Point tonight.

She pulls away.

LISA
What's there to do at the Point?

Brad shifts his weight, tries to find the right words.

BRAD
What's there to do at the Point?
God, Lisa, we've been going together
almost two years, and...

LISA
Brad. I don't want to have to use
sex as a tool.

BRAD
Tool? Tool for what? We've been going
together almost two years!

LISA
I don't want to talk about it here,
Brad.

Brad prepares to respond. He squints his eyes, prepares for
a truly sizzling comeback, when Dennis Taylor, short and
prematurely balding assistant manager of Carl's Jr., comes
bustling out of his back office. He quickly surveys the
situation in the kitchen.

TAYLOR
Hamilton! You have fifteen double
cheese to box!

Lisa returns to her cashier post, leaving Brad's last words
stalled in his mouth.

EXT. HAMILTON HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT

We see the Hamilton's cul-de-sac home. All the lights are
off in the house at this hour. Except for Brad's room.

INT. BRAD'S ROOM

Brad is alone in his room. He's prone on his neatly made
bed, reading a paperback book entitled Power With Class. On
the wall of Brad's room is a large framed photo of a Carl's
Jr. hamburger.

Brad hears a muffled knock at his door.

BRAD
Come on in.

Stacy walks into Brad's room.

STACY
Thanks for getting rid of those
flowers.

BRAD
Don't worry about it. Who sent the
flowers?

STACY
It's just some guy I met at Swenson's.
You don't know him.

BRAD
I don't care it you tell me or not.
I got problems of my own.

He begins pacing.

STACY
Is everything okay at work?

BRAD
Are you kidding? Work is great. I
kill at work. I don't even mind Mom
and Dad making me pay rent.

STACY
You're going to break up with Lisa,
aren't you?

BRAD
I've been doing some thinking. It's
my last school year. I'm a single,
successful guy. I think I want my
freedom.

STACY
Why? Because she won't sleep with
you?

BRAD
Where did you hear that?

STACY
I'm just guessing.

BRAD
Well... it's true.

STACY
Maybe you just need to give her some
time. She's so nice, Brad. Everybody
loves Lisa.

BRAD
Everybody loves Lisa. Everybody loves
Lisa. But everybody doesn't have to
be her boyfriend.

Suddenly, Stacy pops the question.

STACY
Hey, Brad. Are you still a virgin?

BRAD
Why?

STACY
I don't know. I was just curious.

BRAD
Maybe yes. Maybe no.

STACY
You are a virgin!

BRAD
I didn't say that.

STACY
But your face did!

They laugh. Then Brad turns serious.

BRAD
Are you still a virgin?

STACY
Maybe yes. Maybe no.

BRAD
Don't give me that shit! I know you're
still a virgin!

Stacy smiles and stands up. She playfully slaps her brother
on the arm and walks down the hallway to her room. We can
see there is less frill and lace in Stacy's room. The junior
high paperbacks are gone. There are no dolls in sight.

EXT. MALL PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Linda and Stacy walk past rows of cars. Stacy stops at a
brown MG.

STACY
There... There's his car. I know
he's at work tonight. He hasn't come
into Swenson's since he called my
house. My mother told him I was still
at high school, after I told him I
was nineteen. I guess I should tell
him I'm fifteen.

LINDA
Don't you dare, you'll never hear
from him again.

STACY
Does Doug care that you're seventeen?

LINDA
Doug sees beyond that stuff to what
the person inside is like. That's
why I'm marrying him.

STACY
If he ever calls again I'll say I'm
eighteen.

LINDA
Boy I am so glad to be through with
all these games.

They enter the mall.

INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - MORNING

We are now several weeks into the school year. Mr. Hand is
dropping test papers on desks like they are pieces of manure.

MR. HAND
C... D... F... F... F... three weeks
we've been talking about the Platt
Amendment. What are you people? On
dope? A piece of legislation was
introduced into Congress by Senator
John Platt. It was passed in 1906.
This amendment to our Constitution
has a profound impact upon all of
our daily liv....

Mr. Hand stops on a dime. He is like a champion hunting dog
that has just picked up the scent. He scans the room.

MR. HAND
Where is Jeff Spicoli?

There is silence in the U.S. history classroom.

MR. HAND
I saw him earlier today near the 200
Building bathrooms. Is he still on
campus?

Silence.

MR. HAND
Anyone?

One student sitting next to Stacy raises his hand.

MR. HAND
Yes, Desmond?

DESMOND
I saw him by the food machines.

MR. HAND
How long ago?

DESMOND
Just before class, sir...

Mr. Hand snaps his fingers, Hawaii Five-O style.

MR. HAND
Okay. Bring him in.

Desmond hustles out the door.

MR. HAND
What is this fascination with truancy?
What is it that gets inside your
heads?

Mr. Hand begins to pace the aisles as he speaks.
Occasionally, for emphasis, he bends down to lecture directly
into the students' faces.

MR. HAND
There are other teachers in this
school who look the other way at
truants.
(points to attendance
clip on the doorway)
It's a little game that you both
play. They pretend they don't see
you, you pretend you don't ditch.
Who pays the price later? You.

Desmond returns to the room with a red-eyed Jeff Spicoli.

SPICOLI
Hey! Wait a minute! There's no
birthday party for me here!

MR. HAND
Thank you, Desmond.
(to Spicoli)
What's the reason for your truancy?

SPICOLI
I couldn't make it in time.

MR. HAND
(in top form)
You mean, you couldn't? Or you
wouldn't?

SPICOLI
I don't know, mon. The food lines
took forever.

MR. HAND
Food will be eaten on your time!
(pause)
Why are you continuously late for
this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why do you
shamelessly waste my time like this?

SPICOLI
I don't know.

Mr. Hand appears mesmerized. He then turns and heads for the
board. He writes in long, large letters as he slams the chalk
into the green board.

He writes: "I DON'T KNOW".

MR. HAND
I like that.

He stands back and admires it. He turns randomly to Stacy.

MR. HAND
Don't you like that, Miss Hamilton?

STACY
Yes, sir.

MR. HAND
I really like that too. 'I don't
know'... that's nice. 'Mr. Hand,
will I pass this class?' 'Gee, Mr.
Spicoli, I don't know'. I like that.
I think I'm going to leave your words
on this board for all my classes to
enjoy. Giving you full credit, of
course, Mr. Spicoli.

We hear the blare of the dismissal bell. Stacy and the other
students get up to leave. Spicoli stays in place. He has
just figured out a truly bitchin' comeback... and his mouth
is forming the first word, when Mr. Hand cuts him off.

MR. HAND
You can go now.

Hand turns back to his desk. The rest of the students have
already left. Spicoli's audience is gone. He shrugs and lopes
out the door.

INT. RIDGEMONT MALL - AFTERNOON

It's Christmas time at the Ridgemont Mall. All three tiers
are strung with neon lights, and we hear the sound of the
bell-ringing Santas.

INT. SWENSON'S - AFTERNOON

Stacy and Linda are enjoying a brief lull in the Christmas
season madness. They sit at the sundae bar. Stacy looks
forlorn, almost red-eyed, as she makes a sundae.

LINDA
You've got to get used to working
Christmas. People are always screaming
and yelling... then they get home
and they're all Christmasy.

STACY
I think Christmas brings out the
worst in people.

LINDA
I guess Ron hasn't called yet.

STACY
Not since November.

Linda nods her head, always the coach.

LINDA
Stacy, it doesn't look good for the
relationship.

Stacy continues making her ice cream, slapping the scoops
onto the stainless steel dish.

STACY
(sighs)
Don't you think it meant anything to
him. Even if I am fifteen?

LINDA
Stacy. What does it matter? He's a
stereo salesman. You want to marry
him? You want to have kids with him?
You want this guy to come home, fifty
years old, and he's still got that
little Pacific Stereo badge on? Come
on.

ANGLE ON GREGG AND CINDY

who are seated at a back table, feeding each other.

Stacy looks at her finished sundae.

STACY
I should quit this job. I'm going to
get so fat working here... nobody
will ever take me out.

LINDA
Stacy. How many times do I have to
tell you? You are really going to be
beautiful... someday.

STACY
Thanks a lot.

Linda punches Stacy lightly on the shoulder.

LINDA
Hey -- Ron Johnson? It's his loss.

We follow Stacy, as she walks into the dining room to serve
the sundae.

INT. WHEREHOUSE RECORDS - MALL - DAY

We see a group of buzz-cut young toughs, walking in formation,
hunched over, sneering and wearing sleeveless U.S. Army
fatigue jackets. None of these damaged-looking kids is over
the age of fourteen.

They pass to reveal this legend on their backs:

LINCOLN SURF NAZIS.

Angle on Mike Damone and Mark Ratner, who are standing by
the upcoming concert list posted on the door to Wherehouse
Records. Damone sees the Surf Nazis pass, turns to Mark
Ratner, who is still wearing his Cinema Four jacket.

DAMONE
The business is changing, Rat. I'll
tell you, these kids today... they
don't even listen to Aerosmith.

THE RAT
I hear they all dress like that at
Lincoln now.

DAMONE
There used to be three or four of
those guys. Now we see 'em every
time we come to the mall.

Damone is approached by a couple of young ticket Customers.

CUSTOMER #1
Got any Blue Oyster Cult tickets?

DAMONE
No Cult. I ate twenty-four pairs of
Blue Oyster Cult tickets last time
around. I was this close to working
at 7-11. No Cult.

Suddenly we see all ticket business stop. Damone and his
customers see someone menacingly coming directly for them.
The small crowd parts as Charles Jefferson, football duffel
bag in hand, walks up. With him is a thick, tough, miniature
version of himself. This is Little Charles. They both stop
in front of Damone.

JEFFERSON
(after long look)
When is Earth, Wind and Fire coming?

DAMONE
(respectfully)
I'm really not sure. I haven't heard
anything yet, but I'll let you know
the second there is the slightest
news, sir.

JEFFERSON
I'm taking my little brother.

DAMONE
Excellent. So that will be two
tickets... All right. Fine, sir.

Jefferson and L.C. push past the customers.

CUSTOMER #2
Wow. He really lives here. I thought
he just flew in for the football
games.

DAMONE
(gaining composure)
Shit, he's my man. He knows where to
come for tickets.

Damone turns to The Rat.

DAMONE
Well, Rat. Are you ready for the
moment of truth?

The Rat adjusts his jacket, and nods.

THE RAT
She is immune to my charms.

They walk together towards Swenson's, as The Rat drapes his
aqua-blue Cinema Four jacket around his shoulders, like a
French film director. Damone walks a few steps, then stops
Rat.

DAMONE
Hey, Rat.

THE RAT
Yeah?

DAMONE
Ace the jacket.

The Rat considers the suggestion, gets rid of the jacket.
They continue towards Swenson's.

EXT. SWENSON'S - DAY

The Rat pulls open the door to Swenson's. He walks toward
the counter to Stacy Hamilton.

STACY
Hi. May I help you?

The Rat feels the beginnings of cold panic, but barges through
nonetheless.

THE RAT
Yes. I have two questions. I was
curious...

His voice becomes a shade deeper. He begins to pull The
Attitude together.

THE RAT
What do you do with the jackets people
leave here?

STACY
(smiling)
We keep them.

THE RAT
You keep them.

STACY
We keep them, in case the people
come back.

She reaches under the counter and pulls out a cardboard box
with some rumbled jackets and other items.

STACY
Here they are. You can look through
it, if you want.

The Rat chuckles to himself, struggling with The Attitude.

THE RAT
It's cool. It would take too much
time to go through all that stuff.
I'll just pick up a new one.

Stacy smiles. He's obviously awkward, and she likes it.

STACY
What's your other question?

THE RAT
My other question is... can-I-have
your-phone-number-so-I-can-ask-you
out-sometime?

To The Rat's surprise, Stacy continues smiling.

STACY
Do you have a pen? This one's out of
ink.

THE RAT
Oh... yes.

He pulls one out of his jacket pocket, gives it to her. Stacy
writes her name and phone number on a scrap of paper and
gives it to him. The Rat looks at the paper.

THE RAT
Stacy. Nice to meet you, Stacy. My
name is Mark Ratner.

He sticks out his hand, and they shake. We see The Rat turn
around and walk out of Swenson's.

EXT. SWENSON'S - AFTERNOON

The Rat exits with ultimate cool. He sees Damone waiting
just off to the side, talking to some girls. The Rat nods,
gives him the thumbs-up. Damone returns the gesture. All-
Attitude.

EXT. CARL'S JR. - MORNING

Carl's is happening tonight. There are lots of kids inside.
We hear charging rock music -- "Girls Got Rhythm" by AC/DC --
coming from a radio in the back kitchen.

INT. CARL'S JR. BATHROOM - MORNING

Inside the bathroom, Brad Hamilton applies the Carl's scrub
brush to a felt tip graffiti message near the mirror: I EAT
BIG HAIRY PUSSY. He pauses and catches himself in the mirror.
He adjusts his hair.

BRAD
(talking to mirror)
Lisa? I have something to tell you.
Look, I'm a senior now. I'm a single,
successful guy and I've got to be
fair to myself. Lisa... I think I
need my freedom.

Brad pauses, looks at the mirror soulfully.

BRAD
Aw, don't do that... don't take it
personally, okay? Please? I knew
you'd understand, because...

The bathroom door opens -- it's Arnold, the boy who Brad got
a job.

ARNOLD
Brad! I know you're on your break,
but would you cover me on register
three?

Brad nods, exits:

INT. CARL'S JR. COUNTER

Brad stands at the register.

We see a prominent display over Brad's head: TRY OUR 100%
GUARANTEED BREAKFAST. The last of many harried businessmen
customers gets his breakfast order and takes his seat.

Brad is joined by Dennis Taylor, the Assistant Manager.

DENNIS
Come on. Clean that counter off Brad.
Let's go. Play ball.

BRAD
Okay, Dennis.

Brad begins polishing the counter and Dennis Taylor returns
to his office at the back of the kitchen.

Brad watches him disappear behind the door that says:
ASSISTANT MANAGER.

As soon as Dennis disappears behind the door, the one
Businessman in the place rises and returns to the counter.

BRAD
(nervously)
May I help you?

The Businessman has short, curly brown hair. He speaks in a
whine.

BUSINESSMAN
Yes. This is not the best breakfast
I ever ate.

The Businessman points to the huge display over Brad's head:
TRY OUR 100% GUARANTEED BREAKFAST.

BUSINESSMAN
And I want my money back.

Brad begins searching under the counter.

BRAD
Well, I believe you have to fill out
a form. There's a pad right around
here.

BUSINESSMAN
No. I want my money back right now.

BRAD
Well, that's not the way it works,
really. And you ate most of your
food already, too...

BUSINESSMAN
See that sign? It says 100% Money
Back Guarantee. Do you know the
meaning of the word 'guarantee'? Do
they teach you that here? Give me my
money back.

Brad begins looking to the restroom. "Where's Arnold?"

BRAD
I can't do that. But if you wait a
minute...

BUSINESSMAN
(as if talking to a
kindergartner)
Look. Just put your little hand back
in the cash register and give me my
$2.75 back. Okay?
(looks at name tag)
Please, Brad?

BRAD
I'm sorry, sir. Just let me find the
forms here.

BUSINESSMAN
I am so tired. I am so tired of
dealing with morons. How hard is it
to...

Brad looks up from under the counter. No amount of pay will
make him take that kind of insult.

BRAD
Mister, if you don't shut up, I'm
gonna kick 100% of your ass.

BUSINESSMAN
Manager!!

"Bam!" The door to the Assistant Manager's office swings
open, and Dennis comes hurtling out of the back.

DENNIS
Can I help you, sir? Is there a
problem?

BUSINESSMAN
You bet there's a problem! Your
employee used profanity and threatened
me with violence! I'm shocked,
frankly. I've eaten here many times
and I've always enjoyed the service --
until today!

Angle on bathroom door as it opens and Arnold starts towards
the register. He quickly sees the incident with the irate
Businessman and ducks back inside the bathroom.

BUSINESSMAN
All I wanted was my money back for
this breakfast. It was a little
undercooked. And this young man
threatened me. Now I plan to write a
letter! I plan to...

Dennis wheels around to Brad.

DENNIS
Did you threaten this man or use
profanity in any way?

BRAD
He insulted me first. He called me a
moron.

DENNIS
Did you threaten this customer or
use profanity in any way?

BRAD
Yes, sir.

DENNIS
You're fired.

Brad looks around, expecting his friends to defend him. Dave
and Rich seem very occupied with their work. Brad is stunned.

DENNIS
(to Businessman)
I'm very sorry this happened to you,
sir.

BUSINESSMAN
Thank you very much.

Then Brad unhooks his fryer's apron and throws it on the
counter. He grabs a backpack and walks out of the place. On
the way, he bangs the bathroom door with his fist.

BRAD
I hope you had a hell of a piss,
Arnold.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BRAD'S ROOM - DAY

He arrives back in his room and locks the door. He yanks the
burger picture off his wall, dumps it into the trash. Then
he takes it back out of the trash and cracks the cardboard
picture and plastic frame in half.

DARKNESS

We are in the middle of a deep, dark void. After a moment, a
pinprick of light appears in the distance. We head towards
the light. We are being led somewhere important.

As we draw still closer, curtains suddenly part to reveal a
wildly cheering studio audience. We hear the voice of Merv
Griffin.

MERV GRIFFIN (O.S.)
Will you please give a warm welcome
to... Jeff Spicoli!

The Merv Griffin Show band begins playing a Merv Griffin
Show version of AC/DC's "Highway to Hell". Someone hands
Jeff Spicoli a microphone. He works the studio audience into
a frenzy as he sings the words to "Highway to Hell": Merv
Griffin show style.

SPICOLI
(singing)
'Layin' ladies! Drinkin' wine! You
gotta dollar -- You're a friend of
mine! Gettin' loose! Feelin' fine!
You and me -- It's get down time!
We're on the Highway to Hell! The
Highway to Hell!'

Spicoli finishes up with a spectacular pump. The audience
goes wild as Merv Griffin greets him warmly, and guides
Spicoli to his seat. Spicoli motions for the cheers to die
down. Griffin is obviously happy to see him. He touches
Spicoli's arm lightly.

GRIFFIN
How've you been?

SPICOLI
Outrageous, Merv. Nice to be here.
I feel great.

GRIFFIN
I was going to say... your eyes look
a little red.

SPICOLI
I've been swimming, Merv.

The audience howls. It's a famous Spicoli line.

SPICOLI
Seriously, Merv, everything is great.
I was thinking about picking up some
hash this weekend, maybe going up to
the mountains.

GRIFFIN
(concerned)
I wanted to talk a little bit about
school, if I could...

SPICOLI
School.
(sighs)
School is no problem. All you have
to do is go to get the grades. And
if you know something, all you have
to do is go about half the time.

GRIFFIN
How often do you go?

SPICOLI
I don't go at all.

The audience is howling again. He is Merv's favorite guest.

GRIFFIN
I hear you brought a film clip with
you. Do you want to set it up for
us?

SPICOLI
Well, it pretty much speaks for
itself. Peter, you want to run with
it?

EXT. A MASSIVE WAVE - DAY

The film clip begins. It is a mammoth wave cresting against
the blue sky.

SPICOLI (V.O.)
Merv, this is the action down at
Sunset Cliffs at about six in the
morning.

GRIFFIN (V.O.)
Fascinating.

A tiny figure appears at the foot of the wave.

GRIFFIN
Who's that?

SPICOLI
That's me, Merv.

The audience gasps.

GRIFFIN (V.O.)
Are you going to ride that wave?

SPICOLI
Totally.

We watch as Spicoli catches the perfect wave, and it hurtles
him through a turquoise tube of water.

GRIFFIN
What's going through your mind right
here, Jeff? The danger of it all?

SPICOLI
Merv, I'm thinking... I've only got
about four good hours of surfing
left before these little clowns from
junior high start showing up with
their boogie boards.

The audience is howling once again... when suddenly we hear
the loud noise of a door opening, followed by a shrill voice.
It is Spicoli's eight-year-old brother, Curtis.

Jeff Spicoli's dream of glory evaporates.

INT. SPICOLI'S TRAILER HOME - MORNING

It is a messy trailer, part of a trailer park by the sea.
Spicoli's area is small, but he has made it his own. The
walls are covered with posters, almost all of them naked
centerfolds. It is obvious Spicoli's parents are not welcome
in his room.

CURTIS
Dad says you have to get up!

SPICOLI
Ugh.

He groans, starts to struggle out of bed.

SPICOLI
Leave me alone!

CURTIS
Dad says you're late again, you
butthole!

SPICOLI
Leave me alone.

CURTIS
Dad says!

Spicoli reaches over to the floor next to his bed. He pulls
a snorkel from the mess, heaves it at the door and his little
brother. It bounces off the wall and doesn't even hit Curtis,
but the kid starts crying anyway.

CURTIS
Daaaaaaaad! Jeff threw a snorkel at
me!!!!!!

Spicoli gets out of bed, groans again, and kicks the door
shut.

EXT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM

celebrating the big game with rival Lincoln High School. We
see Jeff Spicoli stumble from the direction of the parking
lot. He heads into the gym, which is already full for a
mandatory assembly.

INT. GYMNASIUM - DOORWAY - DAY

Spicoli wanders into the assembly, takes a seat on a corner
bleacher. He sits just below Brad Hamilton and Lisa.

On podium in front of assembly, Cindy Carr and another
cheerleader, Dina Phillips, are making a presentation before
the school.

CINDY
I just want to say that we are not
'Spirit Bunnies' anymore. We always
hated that name. It bugged the heck
out of Dina and me...

DINA
It's just such a put down.

CINDY
They don't call the Chess Club
'Checker Champs' or anything like
that. We're going to go to everything
this year, you guys. We're going to
go to soccer, wrestling, basketball...
everything. We know you've got a lot
of spirit! Everybody -- riiiiiight?
And we're gonna destroy Lincoln next
week? Riiiiiiight?

ANGLE ON THE STUDENTS OF RIDGEMONT

They don't respond.

ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI

who is asleep in the bleachers.

ANGLE ON BRAD AND LISA

sitting nearby. We hear them over the drone of the assembly.

BRAD
Man, I don't even want to see those
guys from Carl's again.

LISA
If you'd apologize I think Dennis
would take you back.

BRAD
Apologize to that wimp? No way.
Fuck Dennis Taylor.

They sit in silence for a moment.

BRAD
I'm just glad we're still together,
Lisa, because I need you this year.

LISA
(sighs)
Look, Brad, I've been trying to think
of a way to tell you this. We're
almost out of high school, this is
our last year. I think we owe it to
ourselves to be free, and meet some
new people. Then, if we get back
together, we'll know it's the right
thing.

TIGHT ANGLE ON BRAD'S FACE

as he accepts the news.

LISA
But I still want to be friends.

TIGHT ANGLE ON BRAD'S FACE

as it falls slack.

INT. GYM - PODIUM IN FRONT OF ASSEMBLY

CINDY
We're going to be going to every
game this year. We just want the
crowd to participate and we want
spirit from every little person in
this entire school. Allll-Riiiight?

There is unenthusiastic, minor applause from the assembled
students of Ridgemont High. Vice Principal Ray Connors, a
tough-looking man with an H.R. Haldeman crew cut, approaches
the podium. He has a sour look on his face.

CONNORS
Well, thank you, girls. People, don't
forget, the big game is one week
away. We'll see everybody back here
on Monday and have a good weekend.

For the first time during this assembly, there is a loud and
hearty applause.

GRAINY HIGH SCHOOL FILM

We are suddenly watching a movie shown on a class projection
screen. We see footage of a serene, middle-class neighborhood --
as seen through the glass windshield of a car. Judging from
the other vehicles parked on the street, the film is from
the early Sixties. We hear the narrative voice of Desi Arnaz,
speaking in his inimitable Latin accent.

ARNAZ
Driving ess an important part of
each and every one of our da-ily
lives. Ees a responsibility like no
o-ther and ess a matter of life and...

A ball comes rolling out into the serene street. A small
child runs out after it. The driving of our vehicle brakes,
but not in time. The film freeze frames on the terrified
face of a child about to be splattered.

ARNAZ
Death.

There is a swell of dramatic music.

ARNAZ
They have foun'... The Braking Point.

The words flash on the screen and we hear a high school
Driver's Training class groan in mock horror.

INT. DRIVER TRAINING CLASS - DAY

ANGLE ON CHARLES JEFFERSON AND BRAD HAMILTON

who are seated in this class.

ANGLE ON LINDA AND STACY

sitting together in the class. They are oblivious, lost in
conversation.

STACY
What do you think of that guy who
works at the theatre? You know, Mark
Ratner.

LINDA
Oh, come on. What is he? Fifteen?

STACY
Sixteen.

Linda looks nauseous.

LINDA
Just watch out if he pulls up in a
van, and then puts on a Led Zeppelin
tape.

INT. DRIVER TRAINING CLASS

The film returns to another serene street scene as seen
through another front windshield.

ARNAZ
The driver here has had jus' two
drinks. Two drinks at the home of a
frien'.

We hear the very-present sounds of Driver's Training students.

STUDENT #1
He's fucked-up, Ricky!

STUDENT #2
They guys a drunk, Ricky!

ARNAZ
And although this driver thinks he
ees drivin' well, he may be 'doing
okay, but he forgets to per-ceive
what ees real goin' on...

In the film, another car comes barreling from the left,
running a stop sign and exploding into the side of the two-
drink goner. In the class, the Driver's Training students
are howling.

EXT. RIDGEMONT MALL - EARLY EVENING

The parking lot is full. Kids and shoppers stream through
the entrance in groups of all sizes.

INT. RIDGEMONT MALL

All three levels are teeming with kids.

ANGLE ON THE VIDEO PINBALL ARCADE

where we see Jeff Spicoli manning the Missile Command machine.
Spicoli wears a red bandana across his forehead. A cigarette
dangles from his mouth. He is surrounded by a fleet of young
surfers who listen to him with reverence.

SPICOLI
Be noble. Be aggressive. The thing
about Missile Command is to decimate
before you can be decimated. Just
like in real life.

The youngsters hang on every word of the sage advice.

ANGLE ON A GANG OF SURF NAZIS

walking in formation.

ANGLE ON MIKE DAMONE AND MARK RATNER

walking the mall.

DAMONE
Check it out, Rat. The Surf Nazis...
out for a Sunday stroll.

Damone and The Rat walk on. The Rat is barely interested. He
appears deep in thought.

THE RAT
What do I say after she gets in the
car?

Damone, obviously in his element here at the mall, stops to
flash a winning smile at a well-built older housewife.

DAMONE
No problem, Rat. What you need is my
special Five Point Plan.

As he talks, Damone passes a Country Farms shop. He plucks a
free sample of cheese and sausage.

THE RAT
Knock it off, Damone. I need real
help.

DAMONE
What do you mean? Men have died trying
to obtain this information. I will
give it to you for free.

The Rat and Damone continue on.

THE RAT
Okay. Tell me. What's the Five Point
Plan?

DAMONE
All right. Pay attention.

The Rat nods, always the student, as they pass a Wherehouse
Record store. Damone stops right in front of a seductively
posed life-sized cardboard stand-up of Debbie Harry, the
alluring rock singer.

Damone begins his speech.

DAMONE
First of all, Rat... never let on
how much you like a girl.

Damone turns to the cardboard cutout of Debbie Harry to
demonstrate.

DAMONE
(disinterested)
Oh. Hi.
(turns back to The
Rat)
Two. Always call the shots.

He turns to Debbie Harry, who looks on with an inviting
cardboard smile.

DAMONE
Kiss me.
(to The Rat)
Three. Act like wherever you are,
that's the place to be.
(to Debbie Harry;
debonair)
Isn't this great?
(to The Rat)
Four. When ordering food, find out
what she wants and then order for
both of you... it's a classy move.
(to Debbie Harry;
Cary Grant)
And the lady will have...
(to The Rat)
Five. And this is most important.
When you get down to making out,
whenever possible, put on the first
side of Led Zeppelin IV.
(to Debbie Harry;
seductive)
Why don't you put this tape on? It
sounds great in the back of my van...
why don't we listen from there?

ANGLE ON DEBBIE HARRY

with the same inviting smile.

DAMONE
And that is how you talk to a girl,
Rat. Voila. You can't miss.

THE RAT
I think I've got it. Once I get going,
I'll be okay. But... how do I get
started? I mean, I hardly know her.

DAMONE
You wuss. It's no problem. One person
says something to the other and that's
how it starts...

Standing there in the front of the Wherehouse, The Rat nods
his head and smiles. He's finally beginning to understand,
and we...

CUT TO:

EXT. THE RAT'S CAR - LATER THAT NIGHT

We see The Rat behind the wheel of a green Volvo. Stacy sits
beside him. They are driving the streets of Ridgemont.

INT. THE RAT'S CAR

This is it. The Big Date. "Led Zeppelin IV" is on the car
stereo of his sister's van.

Finally...

STACY
Thanks for coming to get me.

THE RAT
Sure thing.

Silence.

EXT. THE RAT'S CAR

He rounds the corner of Luna Street, off the neon fast-food
stand that is Ridgemont Drive.

INT. THE RAT'S CAR

Yet another silence has fallen. Then, after a time...

STACY
This is a nice car.

THE RAT
Yeah. It's my sister's.

Silence.

STACY
Do you have Mrs. George for English?

THE RAT
Yeah. She is pretty good.

STACY
Yeah. She is pretty good.

EXT. ATLANTIS RESTAURANT - NIGHT

They pull into the parking lot of a steak and lobster house
called The Atlantis.

THE RAT
Joey at Cinema Four said this is a
pretty good restaurant.

STACY
I've heard that, too.

The Rat finds a parking spot near the back of the lot,
grateful that the long silence is over. He walks with Stacy
to the front of The Atlantis.

INT. THE ATLANTIS - NIGHT

The Rat and Stacy are escorted by the host to a nearby table.
They are given large wooden menus.

THE RAT
Do you know what you want?

STACY
I think I'll have the Seafood Salad
Special.

THE RAT
Excellent.

The Rat leans back in the booth. He is starting to feel in
control now. Then something hits him. The panic sweeps across
his face.

Slowly, The Rat reaches back to check his wallet.

It's gone.

STACY
Are you all right?

THE RAT
(weakly)
Oh yeah.

Cool. Cool was the name of the game. Stay cool.

THE RAT
Do you mind if I excuse myself for a
moment?

STACY
Not at all.

Just as The Rat is about to get up, the Waitress approaches
the table.

WAITRESS
Are you ready to order here?

THE RAT
Well... sure.
(settles back down)
She will have the Seafood Salad
Special. And I will have... the same.

WAITRESS
Anything to drink?

THE RAT
Two Cokes.

WAITRESS
Okay. Thanks.

The Rat gets back up again, looking paler by the minute. He
excuses himself and walks over to the pay phone by the
Atlantis toilets.

The Rat dials a number. Damone answers.

INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - NIGHT

He is sitting in a chair, leaning onto the back two legs,
watching television.

DAMONE
Yo.

THE RAT (V.O.)
Damone. It's Mark.

DAMONE
Mark. What happened to your date?

THE RAT
It's happening right now. I'm here
at the Atlantis. Everything's fine
except... I left my wallet at home.

DAMONE
Did you go home and get it?

THE RAT
No. It's too late. The food is coming
and everything. Damone, I've got to
ask you this favor, and I'll never
ask you for anything again in this
lifetime or any other. Will you please
borrow your mom's car, go by my house,
get my wallet, and meet me back here?

There is silence.

THE RAT
Damone, are you there?

DAMONE
(world-weary sigh)
I'm really pretty busy...

ANGLE ON DAMONE'S TELEVISION

as we see the flickering images of Leave It To Beaver.

DAMONE
You owe me for this one.

INT. ATLANTIS

The Rat hangs up, mildly relieved, and returns to the table.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. STACY AND THE RAT'S TABLE - AN HOUR LATER

The Rat and Stacy have finished the meal, and desert.

ANGLE ON THE CHECK

as it sits in a little tray before The Rat.

The Waitress approaches the table. It is clear she wants to
make room for other customers and bigger tips.

WAITRESS
Are you sure there's nothing else I
can bring you?

THE RAT
I'll have one more Coke... Do you
want another Coke, Stacy?

STACY
(quizzical)
Sure. I'll... have another Coke.

THE RAT
Two more Cokes.

WAITRESS
(sarcastic)
Two... more... Cokes.

ANGLE ON FRONT DOOR

as Mike Damone finally walks in. Damone looks over the diners,
then feigns great surprise when he sees The Rat.

DAMONE
Hey, Mark. Is that you?

THE RAT
Damone! You come here?

DAMONE
I come for the seafood. It's great!
Hey... you know what, Mark? I found
your wallet the other day. You want
it back?

THE RAT
Wow. I've been looking for that thing!
Hey, Damone, have you met Stacy
Hamilton? Stacy, this is Mike Damone.

Stacy smiles politely, with the slightest sparkle in her
eye, as the Waitress returns with the two Cokes.

DAMONE
Well, I've gotta be running.

THE RAT
Okay. See ya.

ANGLE ON STACY

looking strangely at the proceedings.

DAMONE
Nice to meet you, Stacy.

STACY
Nice to meet you.

Damone leaves. The Rat takes a few quick gulps of Coke, and
gets up to pay the bill. As he moves out of camera range, we
see the strange look on the faces of waitresses and diners.

INT. THE RAT'S CAR - LATE EVENING

The Rat pulls up to Stacy's house in the cul-de sac. He stares
straight ahead, like a zombie.

THE RAT
I had a really nice time tonight.

STACY
Me, too. I'm real sorry someone broke
in and stole your tape deck.

The Rat nods glumly.

THE RAT
I never thought it would happen at
The Atlantis. Jeez.

STACY
Do you want to come inside?

THE RAT
Aren't your parents asleep?

STACY
No, they're away for the weekend.
Brad and I are watching the house.

THE RAT
Okay. Sure. I'll come in.

We see a confused but interested look on The Rat's face.

INT. THE HAMILTON HOUSE - EVENING

They walk in the front door. The Rat stands uncomfortably in
the doorway to the living room.

THE RAT
Where's your brother?

STACY
I don't know. Probably out. Want
something to drink?

THE RAT
No. That's okay.

STACY
Well, I'm going to change real quick.
I hope you don't mind.

THE RAT
Naw. I don't mind.

Stacy turns her back and pulls up her hair.

STACY
Will you unzip me?

ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE

as the wheels inside his mind start to spin. This can't be
what it seems. He unzips Stacy, past her bra, down to the
small of her back. It's the first time he's ever done anything
like that.

STACY
Thanks!

She walks down the hall to her room, easing out of her dress
as she walks. She leaves the door to her room open.

STACY
You can come in, if you want!

ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE

He is completely unsure of himself, as he begins to walk
down the hall. His heart pounds into his throat. He turns
the corner and steps into Stacy's room.

INT. STACY'S ROOM - NIGHT

Stacy stands there, looking gorgeous in an almost see-through
white robe. The Rat pretends not to notice.

THE RAT
So... pretty nice house you've got
here.

STACY
Thanks. So...
(puts hands on hips)
What do you want to do?

ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE

as he struggles with the memory of Damone's words.

"Always call the shots."

THE RAT
I don't know.

STACY
Do you want to see some pictures? I
kept a lot of scrapbooks and pictures
and stuff from junior high. How
stupid, right?

THE RAT
Sure.

Stacy goes to her closet, reaches up to grab the books from
the top shelf. The Rat watches her robe slip up her legs.
Then she sits down next to him. Her knee grazes his. It is
almost too much for The Rat. Go for it. We see The Rat
struggle with the action of putting his arm around her. He
almost does, but then reacts as she says suddenly...

STACY
This is me in the eighth grade. Did
you have Mr. Deegan?

THE RAT
(looking pained)
Oh, yeah. I had Mr. Deegan.

Her knee grazes him again. Does she expect something?

THE RAT
Look, Stacy, I want you to know
that...

The Rat struggles. Try as he might, he can't seem to cross
the line. He can't make his move. He is woeful as he completes
the sentence.

THE RAT
...I've got to go home.

STACY
Do you really have to go?

THE RAT
Well... it's getting kind of late.

Suddenly, The Rat is seized with ambition. He reaches one
hand around her right shoulder and plants the other hand
directly on her left breast.

It looks something like a wrestling hold. The Rat looks at
Stacy. Stacy looks back at The Rat. The Rat is absolutely
frozen.

STACY
I guess it is getting late, Mark.

She shrugs him off, walks him to the door.

EXT. THE HAMILTON HOME - NIGHT

We see The Rat's forlorn face as he trudges towards his car.
He stops. He takes a breath -- it wasn't that late, he really
didn't want to leave. The Rat turns and begins walking back
up the Hamilton steps. Just as he does so, Stacy's bedroom
light clicks off. It was too late. He kicks at his car.

THE RAT
You blew it, asshole.

Behind him, recklessly speeding towards Ridgemont Drive, is
Charles Jefferson's blue Mustang.

EXT./INT. THE BLUE MUSTANG - NIGHT

Jeff Spicoli is behind the wheel. Sitting next to him is
Little Charles, "L.C.", Jefferson's younger brother. They're
smoking grass and holding Lowenbrau beers in between their
legs. The radio is blasting the music of Rick James.

L.C.
Hey, slow down. This is my brother's
car.

SPICOLI
I thought he was out of town.

L.C.
He is.

SPICOLI
Then don't hassle it.

They speed off down Ridgemont.

L.C.
Seen the new Playboy?

SPICOLI
Naw. Any good?

L.C.
Suzanne Somers' tits.

SPICOLI
All right.

L.C.
I like sex.

Spicoli sees something in the rearview mirror.

SPICOLI
Hold your beer down, L.C., I think
it's a cop.

Spicoli slows down. The car behind him slows down.

SPICOLI
This is a cop. He's definitely
cruising me at busting distance.

The high beams switch on behind Spicoli.

SPICOLI
What the fuck is this guy doing?

The car behind Spicoli then advances to the point where it
is now almost touching the blue Mustang.

SPICOLI
What the fuck is this guy doing?

L.C.
This ain't no cop.

The mystery car bumps them lightly from behind.

L.C.
Hey! He's gonna scratch my brother's
car!

The two boys start yelling. High beams fill the Mustang with
bright light and...

EXT./INT. MUSTANG AND GRANADA

Then mystery car pulls back, then up alongside Spicoli and
L.C. on the left. We hear the music on the radio of George
Thoroughgood's "Ride On, Josephine".

SPICOLI
It's a bunch of Jocks in a Granada!

L.C.
They're fuckin' with us.

The drivers of the two cars eye each others. Then the Granada
begins inching over, trying to force Spicoli off the road.

L.C.
My brother's car!

SPICOLI
All right. Die, Granada Jocks!

Spicoli guns ahead, in a real bullet move, and easily
overtakes the Granada. Spicoli is proud of himself. He checks
himself out in the rearview and turns to L.C.

SPICOLI
Would you roll your window up, L.C.?
It's messing my hair.

Spicoli pulls way ahead of the Granada, while L.C. rolls his
window up. Spicoli looks over to L.C. and smiles wickedly.

Now Spicoli wants to show off. He pushes the pedal to the
floor.

L.C.
We just missed the turnoff to the
party.

SPICOLI
You know the thing I love about
Mustangs? The steering wheel.

Spicoli fingers the bubbles in the wheel.

SPICOLI
With a genuine Mustang steering wheel,
you can negotiate a hairpin turn
with ease, my man.

EXT./INT. MUSTANG

on the word "ease", Spicoli curls his finger into one of the
Mustang steering wheel bubbles and whips it clockwise. The
idea is to turn off onto a side street and head back to the
party. But instead, at the moment of the hairpin turn, L.C.
is attempting to switch the radio station. Spicoli crooks
his finger farther into the bubble than he expected. The
car swings in a complete circle, a circle that includes a
bright yellow fire hydrant. The hydrant rips the side of the
car open like a can of tuna.

There is a silent moment of terror.

SPICOLI
Are you okay?

There is silence. Outside the smashed car, the Granada Jocks
pass Spicoli and L.C.

GRANADA JOCKS
Fuck youuuuuuuuuu!

Then L.C. stirs and utters his first words.

L.C.
My brother is going to kill us. He's
gonna kill you and then he's gonna
kill me. He's gonna kill us.

SPICOLI
Just be glad you're all right.

L.C.
My brother is gonna shit.

SPICOLI
Make up your mind. Is he gonna shit,
or is he gonna kill us?

L.C.
First he's gonna shit. And then he's
gonna kill us.

SPICOLI
Will you just relax, mon? He's not
gonna kill us. My father is a
television repairman. He's got all
kinds of tools. I can fix-this car.

L.C.
You can't fix this car, Spicoli.

ANGLE ON THE BLUE MUSTANG

waffled and mangled. It is just inches away from scrap iron.

SPICOLI
I can fix it.

MONTAGE OF SHOTS

as we see Ridgemont High gearing up for its big Homecoming
Game against Lincoln. We see a series of shots of kids talking
about it, wagering on the chances of a Ridgemont victory. We
see the many signs and placards all over school, proclaiming
Ridgemont revenge. We see students lining up to vote for
Homecoming King and Queen in the gymnasium. It is the most
spirit that Ridgemont has shown this year.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. RIDGEMONT SCHOOL - FLAGPOLE - DAY

From the back of the parking lot, we see a crowd around the
flagpole. A group of kids are staring at something. They
sadly shake their heads at the sight, as if they are
witnessing a funeral.

As we draw closer, we see the center of commotion. It is an
ugly sight. Someone had wrecked Charles Jefferson's Blue
Scholarship Mustang and welded it to the flagpole. Spray-
painted on the side was the message: LINCOLN SURF PUNKS RULE.

EXT. RIDGEMONT BLEACHERS - NIGHT

The Ridgemont football bleachers are full of cheering
students. We see the same basic groups from lunch court, and
many more.

The cheerleaders are on the field -- Cindy Carr, Dina Phillips
and company -- and their cheerleader "husbands" sit directly
in front of them in the stands. Linda and Stacy sit in the
bleachers with some of the Swenson's girls. The Rat and Damone
sit several rows above them, watching. The teachers sit
together in another section.

ANGLE ON BRAD HAMILTON

who is again sitting alone in the bleachers.

Watching. Several old lunch court friends pass by, on their
way to the concession area.

STUDENT #1
Hey, Brad! How's going?

BRAD
All right.

STUDENT #2
Where you working?

BRAD
Fish and chips place.

STUDENT #1
Which one?

BRAD
Just a fish and chips place.

Brad says nothing more. The students look at each other.

STUDENTS
We'll be seeing you, Brad!

BRAD
(sullen)
Later.

EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - THE GAME - NIGHT

Everyone is cheering the amazing game on the field.

Charles Jefferson is poised on the offensive line.

He mutters a string of obscenities at the opposing Lincoln
player. The ball is snapped, and Charles Jefferson comes
directly at the player with both elbows up and angled to hit
inside his helmet. The Lincoln player is hit and keels over.

Charles Jefferson sets up for another play. The ball is
snapped. Ka-boom. Down falls another Lincoln player. Jefferson
doesn't know who it was who wrecked his Mustang, but he wasn't
about to spare any of them. There is pure madness in his
eyes. It has taken him over.

The Ridgemont points rack up. Jefferson is single handedly
maiming Lincoln for Homecoming.

EXT. RIDGEMONT BLEACHERS - NIGHT

We see Jeff Spicoli and L.C. sitting calmly in the bleachers,
watching.

SPICOLI
I think we may have gotten away clean.

EXT. FIELD AND SCOREBOARD

The half-time gun fires and the score is 36-7...

Ridgemont. Even the Ridgemont players steer clear of Charles
Jefferson as they return to their locker room.

EXT. THE HAMILTON POOL - HOT AFTERNOON - SEVERAL

WEEKS LATER

Linda and Stacy are sitting by the pool, dressed in string
tie bathing suits. They are listening to the music of Tom
Petty's "Breakdown" playing on the living room stereo. Linda
luxuriously applies suntan lotion to her chest and legs, in
long and writhing strokes. Stacy reads a book. It's called
Total Orgasm. Several beats pass.

LINDA
I sent a letter to Doug today. I'll
be so glad when he gets out here.

STACY
(engrossed in book)
You really ought to look at this,
Linda. There's a drawing on every
page... and all these quizzes. It's
like school.

LINDA
Why don't you put your mother's secret
book back?

Linda continues regally applying lotion.

STACY
Listen to this... 'What are your
mate's three most erogenous zones?'

LINDA
(automatic)
Okay, penis, that's one, balls...

STACY
Wouldn't penis and balls be the same
category?

LINDA
You're right. Probably penis, mouth
and neck.

STACY
All right! Here's another one. 'The
most satisfactory lovemaking occurs
when your mate climaxes first, you
climax first, you and your mate climax
together?'

LINDA
Climax together.

STACY
Does that ever happen?

LINDA
No. But it's a nice idea.

STACY
Listen to this... it says 'Most women
derive pleasure from sex, but they
don't have real orgasms.'

Linda stops applying lotion, considers that thought.

LINDA
Well... they obviously don't know
about Doug.

They laugh. Linda resumes applying the lotion.

Stacy continues reading the book. A couple of beats pass.

STACY
How long does Doug take?

LINDA
I don't know. Thirty to forty minutes.

STACY
(pause)
What's Doug do in Chicago?

LINDA
He works for the airline. He'll be
out here. You'll meet him.

Stacy looks at Linda, almost disbelieving.

LINDA
(wistful)
He's no high school boy.

There is a noise by the side fence leading into the Hamiltons'
backyard. It is Mark Ratner and Mike Damone. They are already
wearing swimsuits.

DAMONE
Hey! We came over to help you with
Math homework!

STACY
Oh, really?

THE RAT
Really. We figured you needed the
help. On such a hot day.

Stacy quickly stashes the book in a stack of towels beside
her. She leans over to Linda and speaks confidentially.

STACY
What do you think?

LINDA
I think they're both virgins.

Stacy smiles, gets up and goes over to the fence.

STACY
I didn't ask for any help. Did you,
Linda?

LINDA
No.

DAMONE
Well, that's exactly why I brought
some Wisk for the jacuzzi.

STACY
O-kay, you guys can come swimming.
But you have to leave as soon as my
Mom gets home. Okay?

EXT. HAMILTON POOL

Mike Damone yells "banzai!" and dives into the small pool.
At one end of the pool is the jacuzzi, which is separated by
a tile wall. Damone has already poured the Wisk into the
jacuzzi, and the detergent has created a huge bubble bath
effect. Damone surfaces and flips into the jacuzzi.

Stacy, looking great in a green bikini, sits kicking her
legs by the side of the pool. Linda stands on the board. She
is poised to dive. The Rat treads water and stares at both
girls. Inside the Hamilton living room, the family stereo
plays the music of Deep Purple's "Woman From Tokyo".

DAMONE
Hey, Linda! I'll judge your dive.
I'm a champion diver myself.

Brad arrives home by the side gate and slams it behind him.
He is home from a bad day at work. He walks out onto the
patio and stands with his hands on his hips. For the first
time, our former campus hero looks absurd. He is still in
his uniform from Captain Kidd Fish and Chips -- it is a blue
and white striped Pirates of the Caribbean outfit, complete
with black plastic sword at the side, and a ridiculously
large Ponce de Leon-esque hat. Brad carries the hat under
his arm.

BRAD
Does Mom know you have company?

STACY
It's just Linda. And Mark from school.

Brad ignores the underclassmen, and notices Linda on the
board in her maroon bikini. He smiles.

BRAD
Hi, Linda.

LINDA
Hi, Brad.

BRAD
Well, you guys, keep it down. I've
got some work to do upstairs.

Brad turns and heads back inside. He is just out of earshot
when they begin talking about him.

LINDA
God, he hardly even talks anymore.

STACY
I know. He hates to have to wear
uniforms.

DAMONE
Poor guy.

THE RAT
Really.

Stacy breaks the spell by jumping into the water, surfacing,
and flipping over the tile wall into the Jacuzzi. She sits
next to Damone, looking mischievous.

ANGLE ON DAMONE AND STACY IN THE JACUZZI

talking while the others are at the other end of the pool.

ANGLE ON THE RAT

casually catching sight of them together from the other side
of the pool. We can read the emotions on The Rat's face. He
is still taken with Stacy, but his big moment for her appears
to have passed.

ANGLE ON DAMONE AND STACY IN THE JACUZZI

as they talk.

Underneath the water, her leg accidentally knocks against
his. Then he feels her continue. Damone feels Stacy's cool
hand on his inner thigh. Moving upwards, stopping just short
of the bulge in his trunks.

ANGLE ON DAMONE'S FACE

as it loosens and quivers just the slightest bit. This is
uncharted territory, even for Mr. Attitude.

ANGLE ON LINDA

who is now sunning herself by the side of the pool.

She rubs her legs against each other, slowly, enjoying the
hot afternoon.

EXT. BRAD'S WINDOW - ANGLE ON BRAD

who is watching Linda from the window in his room.

We see him from behind, peeking out the curtains.

EXT. POOL - ANGLE ON LINDA

who smiles at Damone and flips back into the pool with a
splash. Damone steals a look down at his swimsuit. He's popped
a big one.

THE RAT
Why don't you get up and do a dive,
Mike?

LINDA
Go ahead.

ANGLE ON DAMONE'S FACE

and we know he can't get out of the water yet.

DAMONE
No. I don't think so. Not right now.

THE RAT
Chicken!

Linda, for one, loses interest quickly. Standing by the side
of the pool, she jams a finger in her ear and wiggles it.

LINDA
Stacy! I've got water in my ears.
Do you have any Q-Tips?

STACY
God, I don't think so. Better look
in the house.

Linda towels off and heads back inside the Hamilton house.
She knows how to walk.

INT. BRAD'S BEDROOM AND BATHROOM - AFTERNOON

We see Brad's room. The Carl's burger picture on the wall is
conspicuously missing. There is music playing from his stereo --
Pink Floyd's "You and Me".

We see Brad. He is kneeling on the bathroom floor, his back
to us. His green T-shirt is on, his underwear in a pile on
the floor behind him. His arm is pumping slowly. Brad is
jacking off.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. HAMILTON POOL - BRAD'S DAYDREAM

It features Linda Barrett, just as she stood on the diving
board a moment ago. She is gorgeous. Her breasts seem even
bigger than usual. Her nipples are hard, poking through the
film maroon string bikini. Water rolls slowly down her cheeks,
into the corners of her mouth. Her lips are parted slightly.
Her eyes are filled with desire as she says...

LINDA
Hi, Brad.
(pause)
You know how cute I always thought
you were. I think you're so sexy.
Will you come to me?

ANGLE ON BRAD IN DAYDREAM

in a nice shirt, his hair combed back and looking great. He
walks to Linda. She reaches out and grabs him for a kiss,
pulling him close. Then she pushes him away, so he can watch
as she carefully unstraps the top of her bathing suit. The
incredible Linda Barrett's breasts fall loose.

She takes Brad's hands and places them on her, as she begins
unbuttoning his shirt. They are just about to fall into
passionate lovemaking when we hear...

LINDA
Hey, Brad! Do you have any Q-Ti...

The daydream evaporates and we see real life again with an...

INT. BRAD'S BATHROOM - ANGLE ON LINDA'S FACE

in the doorway of Brad's bathroom as she watches the sight
before her.

ANGLE ON BRAD

trying to cover himself and act nonchalant and keep his back
turned at the same time. The words barely escape his mouth.

BRAD
Wait just a... minute.

LINDA
Sorry. I didn't know anybody was in
here.

Linda turns and goes immediately, as if she wants to forget
what she saw as quickly as possible. She closes the door
behind her.

ANGLE ON BRAD

still kneeling. It had all happened so quickly, so fast

BRAD
Doesn't anybody fuckin' knock anymore?

He slams the toilet seat down and we...

CUT TO:

INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - DAY

The third attendance bell rings, and Mr. Hand strides to the
front of the class. He locks the door. Then he takes the
front of the class and notices something very different.

ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI

bright and clear-eyed, sitting in the front row. His hands
are clasped in front of him on the desk.

His textbook is open to the proper page.

Mr. Hand is suspicious, but continues with class.

MR. HAND
Now in 1898, Spain owned Cuba.
Outright. Think about it. Cuba, owned
by a disorganized parliament 4,000
miles away. Cubans were in a constant
state of revolt.

Mr. Hand begins pacing the aisles as he talks.

MR. HAND
In 1904, the United States decided
to throw a little weight around,
and...

There is a brief, sharp knock at the door. Mr. Hand whips
his head around, like McGarrett. He approaches the door like
a cat.

MR. HAND
(sweet voice)
Who is it?

VOICE
Mr. Pizza.

MR. HAND
Again?

VOICE
Mr. Pizza, sir!

Hand swings the door open, out of curiosity. In walks a young
Man in a Mr. Pizza delivery shirt.

PIZZA MAN
Okay, who had the double cheese
sausage and bologna?

Jeff Spicoli speaks up.

SPICOLI
That's me.

The Delivery Man takes the pizza, sets it on the desk, as
Spicoli whips out some crumpled dollars. Then he produces
yet another crumpled dollar, and presses it into the Delivery
Man's hand.

SPICOLI
For you, my man.

The Delivery Man thanks him warmly, just as Mr. Hand rages
into the picture.

MR. HAND
Am I hallucinating here? Just what
in the hell do you think you're doing?

SPICOLI
Learning about Cuba. Having some
food.

MR. HAND
Mr. Spicoli, you're on dangerous
ground here. You're causing a major
disturbance in my class and on my
time.

SPICOLI
(cool and urbane)
I've been thinking about this, Mr.
Hand. If I'm here... and you're
here... doesn't that make it our
time?

Mr. Hand is so furious he's almost shaking.

SPICOLI
So I thought I'd order us a pizza.
Just leave me a lot of bologna...

Mr. Hand snatches up the pizza, and starts to throw it in
the wastebasket. Then he thinks better, and heads for the
door. He opens it just as a gang of young Stoners walk past.

STONER #1
There's the pizza.

STONER #2
Totally!

Mr. Hand pushes the pizza into their hands and slams the
door.

SPICOLI
You better save some for me, you
swine!

MR. HAND
And you, my friend. I'll see you for
a two-hour detention every afternoon
this week.

Spicoli eases back in his chair, shrugs. It was a good idea
at the time.

INT. CAPTAIN KIDD FISH AND CHIPS - DAY

Brad Hamilton, looks terribly uncomfortable in his Ponce de
Leon hat and buccaneer uniform. He rings up an order for an
older Customer.

CUSTOMER
Why aren't you in school, son?

BRAD
I go to school in the mornings. I
have a work study program for the
afternoon.

He bags one final coffee and punches up the amount.

BRAD
$8.46, please.

CUSTOMER
Here you go. I have it exactly.
(sets money down)
Good luck!

BRAD
Thank you, and thanks for coming to
Captain Kidd.

Brad loosens his buccaneer scarf, and starts back towards
the kitchen. He is stopped by the sudden appearance of Captain
Kidd Assistant Manager, Harold.

HAROLD
Hamilton! I'll take over the fryer.
Those boys at IBM need some Catch of-
the-Day boxes, and I told them you
would personally deliver them within
the hour. I'll reimburse you for
gas.

Brad dutifully unhooks his apron, to reveal the bottom half
of his pirate suit.

BRAD
Just write me out a bill.

While Harold leans down to tally up the fish order, Brad
goes to a nearby employee's closet. He has completely
perfected the art of changing back into his street clothes,
and it takes less than a minute. He is just about to finish
buttoning his street shirt when Harold sees him.

HAROLD
Hamilton, come over here. What is
that you've got on?

BRAD
This is how I dress all the time.

HAROLD
But you took off your Captain Kidd
uniform.

BRAD
I thought I'd take it off for the
drive over to IBM. It's kind of
uncomfortable.

Harold can barely fathom the idea.

HAROLD
Come on, Hamilton. You're going over
there to represent Captain Kidd Fish
and Chips. We have stores all over
Southern California. Part of our
image, part of our appeal is in our
uniforms. You know that!

BRAD
You really want me to put all this
stuff back on?

HAROLD
Yes. I think so. Show some pride,
Hamilton.

ANGLE ON BRAD

as he stands there, stoic looking.

BRAD
I don't believe you're asking me to
do this, but okay.

He begins taking off his street shirt. He looks at Harold,
looks at the boxes, and returns to the closet.

INT. THE CRUISING VESSEL

Brad is driving down the freeway, listening to the music of
Bruce Springsteen's "Out in the Streets." He pries open one
of the fourteen Catch-of-the-Day boxes on the seat next to
him and pulls out a small piece of fried fish. Brad takes a
bite. The look on his face says it is the worst piece of
shit he has ever tasted. He throws the piece out the window,
and drives on.

Brad turns to see a girl smiling at him from another car. It
makes his afternoon. He returns the smile with gusto.

ANGLE ON THE GIRL

as she bursts out laughing and drives away.

ANGLE ON BRAD

looking perplexed. Then he realizes that he hasn't taken his
Ponce de Leon hat off. Brad drives on.

A SERIES OF ANGLES ON BRAD'S CAR

as we see the Cruising Vessel move down the highway. We see
the Captain Kidd hat go flying out the window. Then the
plastic sword, and the scarf.

Then a couple boxes of Captain Kidd fish. Then the rest of
them. We see Brad rip past the IBM Building.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. RIDGEMONT HIGH SCHOOL - AFTERNOON

School is out and kids are leaving campus, heading for the
parking lot and bus stop. We see Mike Damone carrying some
books, walking towards Ridgemont Drive. He is joined by Stacy
Hamilton, who hurries to catch up to him.

STACY
I can't wait until I can drive next
year. I walk every day. It's such a
drag.

DAMONE
Get a ride with somebody.

STACY
Sometimes I get a ride with my
brother. But he usually works in the
mornings, and then drives to school
himself.

DAMONE
What a guy.

Damone turns to her after a moment, all Attitude.

DAMONE
You know Mark Ratner really likes
you. You like him?

STACY
Mark is a really nice boy...

Stacy walks along, then stops and looks at Damone.

STACY
But I think I like you.

They turn the corner.

EXT. HAMILTON HOME

They have arrived at Stacy's house. There are no cars parked
out front. No one is home.

STACY
Do you want to come in for a second?

The Attitude starts to weaken. After a long pause, Damone
responds.

DAMONE
Do you have any ice tea?

STACY
Sure. Come on in.

Stacy unlocks her front door, they go inside.

INT. HAMILTON KITCHEN

Damone stands in the white linoleum Hamilton kitchen. Stacy
opens the refrigerator door.

STACY
I guess the annuals are coming in
pretty soon. Are you going to get
one?

DAMONE
I don't know.

STACY
Aren't you curious to see how your
class picture turned out?

DAMONE
I know what I look like.

Stacy places a glass of ice tea in front of him. They are
all alone in the house.

STACY
Do you want to take a quick swim?

DAMONE
Well...

STACY
Brad probably has some trunks you
can borrow... I'm going to my room
to change!

Damone stares straight ahead. She's going to her room to
change. Stacy scoots down the hall toward her bedroom.

DAMONE
This is great ice tea!

INT. STACY'S ROOM - ANGLE ON STACY IN HER ROOM

In the middle of changing, she has caught her own reflection
in the mirror. She pauses a moment, looking at the young
girl looking back.

INT. KITCHEN - ANGLE ON DAMONE IN THE KITCHEN

He continues staring straight ahead.

STACY
(from other room)
You don't have to shout! You can
come back here to my room!

Damone doesn't move. He pretends he doesn't hear. A moment
later, Stacy comes bounding back down the hall in her green
bikini. She grabs Damone by the arm.

STACY
Come with me! I know there's a suit
in the changing room!

She pulls him away.

INT. THE CHANGING ROOM

They enter the wood-panelled changing room next to the
Hamilton pool. There are two swimsuits hanging from wooden
pegs.

STACY
Pick a suit.

DAMONE
I don't know. It's getting pretty
late...

She locks the door to the changing room and begins to walk
towards Mike Damone.

STACY
Are you really a virgin?

DAMONE
Come on...

He could feel his leg starting to shake the slightest bit.

STACY
It's okay if it's your first time.

She gives him a kiss.

DAMONE
Listen. I feel pretty strange here.
Because Mark really likes you, and
he's my friend.

STACY
He's my friend, too.

She gives him another kiss. He kisses her in return. Standing
there, feeling Stacy in her bikini, feeling her kiss him,
Damone also felt some of his reservations slip away.

DAMONE
You're a really good kisser.

STACY
So are you.
(pause)
Are you shaking?

DAMONE
(shaking)
No. Are you crazy?

It is clear that this is as far as Mr. Attitude has ever
gotten with a girl. Stacy takes the initiative, rubbing her
hands through his hair, rubbing his sides, kissing his neck,
then pulling away.

STACY
(whispers)
Why don't you take off your clothes,
Mike?

DAMONE
You first.

STACY
How about both of us at the same
time?

Damone nods, and watches as Stacy unhooks her top and steps
out of her bikini bottom. She stands naked in the shadows of
the afternoon sun. She sits down naked on a red changing
room couch, and gathers her legs up to her chest. She watches
as Damone struggles with his clothes.

ANGLE ON DAMONE

hopping on one leg, pulling first out of his pants, then his
jockey underwear. Bashfully, he goes to sit next to Stacy on
the couch. They begin to kiss, and it quickly escalates into
heavy petting. Stacy pulls away.

STACY
I want you to know that it's your
final decision if we should continue
or not.

DAMONE
Let's continue.

Stacy leans back and pulls him on top of her. He enters her
and begins pumping so hard, so fast, that he doesn't notice
he's banging the sofa into the wall of the changing room.

But just as quickly as Damone starts, he stops.

STACY
(whispers)
Hey, Mike?

DAMONE
What? Are you all right?

STACY
I think we're making a lot of noise.

DAMONE
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

He has a strange look on his face.

STACY
What's wrong?

DAMONE
I think I came. Didn't you feel it?

STACY
I guess I did.

They lay there, Damone still on top of her on the red couch.

ANGLE ON DAMONE

as we read the confusion on his face. He is embarrassed, a
little confused... mostly he just wants to be alone.

DAMONE
I've got to get home. I've really
got to go, Stacy.

ANGLE ON STACY

as she looks up at him. She gives him a kiss.

Damone gets up puts his pants and shirt on. He leaves the
changing room.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BIOLOGY CLASS - AFTERNOON

We see Stacy sitting at her usual seat, and she's wearing a
bright spring dress with a slight amount of makeup.

She looks at Damone's seat with anticipation, but it remains
empty as other students file in.

Finally, she turns to The Rat.

STACY
Where's Mike today?

THE RAT
Today's April 16th. Damone never
comes to school on April 16th.

STACY
What's April 16th?

THE RAT
It's John Bonham's birthday.

STACY
John Bonham?

THE RAT
John Bonham. The drummer for Led
Zeppelin. He died a couple years
ago. Every birthday he stays home
and plays everything John Bonham
ever recorded. It's like his own
holiday.

STACY
Oh. I see.

The bell rings, and Mr. Vargas enters the room with his Sanka
cup.

INT. COLLEGE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

Seated at the desk is Mrs. O'Rourke. There is a knock at the
door.

The door swings open. Brad Hamilton holds out his yellow
slip.

MRS. O'ROURKE
Have a seat, Brad... Brad have you
got your list of college applications?

BRAD
Well, to tell you the truth Mrs.
O'Rourke, I've kind of been putting
it off. I'm not sure what I want to
do yet.

MRS. O'ROURKE
(by rote)
All right Brad. Let me ask you like
this. If I were queen of the world,
and I could make you whatever you
wanted to be, what would it be?

BRAD
I don't know... Burt Reynolds.

There is no humor on Mrs. O'Rourke's face.

MRS. O'ROURKE
I realize it's important to have fun
in your senior year, with your
friends, but there comes a time when
you have to get serious about your
future, think about college, and put
aside all this fun.

Brad looks up suddenly.

BRAD
You know what, Mrs. O'Rourke? I broke
up with my girlfriend this year. I
lost my job at Carl's, and two other
places. I wake up at 5:30 to work at
7-11, then I go to school, then I go
back to 7-11. I have to pay rent,
you know. My grades haven't been
that bad, and now you're telling me
that the fun is over. Well, I'm still
waiting for the fun to start.

MRS. O'ROURKE
Brad, I'll see you when I'm through
with the rest of the seniors. If you
want to visit the career office, go
right ahead. I'll talk to you when
you're more prepared.

Brad gathers his books and opens the door to leave.

MRS. O'ROURKE
Next!

An absolutely exuberant Cindy Carr pops her head in the door.

CINDY
Hi-yeeeeeeee!!!

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. RIDGEMONT HALLWAY - MORNING

The bell has just rung, and Mike Damone comes out of Youth
and Law class. He has an absorbed, driven look on his face.
He walks past the rows of lockers, and doesn't even notice
as he passes Stacy Hamilton standing by her locker. She
smiles, grabs his arm affectionately.

STACY
Hi Mike!

Damone turns to see her, is thoroughly unimpressed.

DAMONE
Oh. Hi.

STACY
I didn't see you this morning.

DAMONE
Look, I'm kind of in a hurry.

STACY
I'm in a hurry too. I just thought I
could say hi to you.

DAMONE
Hello.

He pulls away, leaving a bewildered Stacy standing by her
locker. She grabs some books and hurries in the other
direction.

EXT. SCHOOL BUS - DAY

The bus pulls up to the front entrance of University Hospital.
The students file out and collect next to the front door.
Mr. Vargas gleefully addresses the class. This is his favorite
field trip.

MR. VARGAS
Today we're going to explore how
this hospital works to preserve human
life. We'll be visiting every floor,
every level where these fine doctors
and nurses take care of us, in life...
and in death.

INT. MATERNITY WARD

The class exits from a hospital elevator, onto another floor.
They are now standing outside the maternity ward. We hear
the loud noise of babies.

MR. VARGAS
Over thirty children are delivered
here each day...

The class moves on.

INT. THE BOTTOM FLOOR

The class exits another hospital elevator.

MR. VARGAS
This is part of your third quarter
exam, and I'd advise you to take
careful notes on what we're about to
see.

ANGLE ON DR. MILLER

a young intern who has joined the class for the last part of
their tour.

MR. VARGAS
May I just ask you one last time to
conduct yourselves with the utmost
maturity...

The kids are beginning to get very nervous now as they are
led down the hall to the "Cold Room." The door to the "Cold
Room" has only one sign on it. It reads: CADAVERS -- MEDICAL
EXAMINATION ONLY. Mr. Vargas opens the door, and the class
seems to gasp.

INT. THE COLD ROOM

There are six examination tables in the "Cold Room". Each of
them contains a cadaver covered by a white sheet. Mr. Vargas
has gathered the class around one table in particular. He
fingers the edge of the white sheet as he talks.

MR. VARGAS
As you know, all the bodies in this
room are recently deceased human bio-
structures.

A student raises his hand.

MR. VARGAS
Yes, Randy?

RANDY
Who are these guys?

MR. VARGAS
Most of them were derelicts, Randy.
They sold the right for medical
examination of their bodies for money.
Something like thirty dollars, I
believe. Isn't that right, Doctor
Miller?

DR. MILLER
Twenty-five dollars.

ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI

who turns to Stacy.

SPICOLI
Twenty-five bucks is pretty good.

MR. VARGAS
Now this gentleman here is named
Arthur. Arthur died from heart failure
last week and we are fortunate enough
to view his body in its pristine
state.

Mr. Vargas suddenly pulls the white sheet aside and we see
the body of Arthur. The students' eyes widen. Some gasp.
Others cover their mouths. Others begin furious notes. Nobody
speaks. The body of Arthur is smallish and withered. It is
orange, flaky, and not quite real looking. A deep cut has
been made in Arthur's chest.

Mr. Vargas bends Arthur upright for a better student view.
He gestures to the deep cut made in Arthur's chest.

The tension mounts.

MR. VARGAS
This incision allows us to pull aside
the skin covering of the chest cavity
and really observe the human organs
as they exist in their natural state.

ANGLE ON ARTHUR

and his shrunken face, which seems to say please don't.

MR. VARGAS
I want all of you to take a look at
the chest cavity for just a moment.

Mr. Vargas grabs the two sides of Arthur's chest cavity
covering, and rips it open.

MR. VARGAS
Here we have the human lungs and
heart, which you can see is actually
located in the center of your chest.

With a squish, Mr. Vargas reaches inside Arthur and pulls
out the human heart for display. The class stands in silent
shock. Only one comment escapes from any of them.

SPICOLI
Bitchin'.

ANGLE ON STACY HAMILTON

who goes running out of the "Cold Room", holding her mouth.
The Rat runs after her.

INT. BOTTOM FLOOR HALL

Rat and Stacy sit side-by-side on some orange plastic chairs,
by a nurse's desk. Stacy is shook up.

STACY
I made a fool of myself.

THE RAT
Nobody noticed. Don't worry about
it. We'll just stay out here until
everyone comes out, we'll blend back
in.

STACY
What about the notes?

THE RAT
I'll get you the notes.

She squeezes his arm.

EXT. HOSPITAL - AFTERNOON

The students file out of the hospital, looking like they've
just been through a war.

INT. LINDA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

It is night, and Linda and Stacy are watching Fantasy Island.

MONTALBAN
You see, Tatoo, what this man doesn't
realize is that he must one day leave
Fantasy Island. And he must continue
his life as an incurable leper.

Stacy is fighting back tears. Linda looks angry.

Telephone rings. Linda jumps to get it.

LINDA
Hello.

Linda obviously is disappointed when she hears a female voice.

LINDA
Yeah... you're kidding... What did
he say... What did you say... How
much did it cost? Look, tell him he
can have a relationship with you or
a 'more open' relationship with
someone else... Listen, Debbie, can
I call you later. I'm waiting for
Doug to call.

She plops back on the couch with Stacy.

LINDA
I'll bet he forgets to call again.

She notices that Stacy is crying over the TV show.

LINDA
God, Stacy, it's not that sad. It's
just David Soul and Ricardo Montalban.

STACY
I don't know, I'm just so depressed.
Everything is just so... depressing.

Linda shuts off the television.

LINDA
You have been acting very strange
the last few weeks.

STACY
I don't know... I just don't feel
right.

Linda sits down next to Stacy on the bed.

LINDA
What do you think it is?

STACY
What do you think it is?

LINDA
It couldn't be.

STACY
It could be. I had a pregnancy test
at the clinic. I'll find out Monday.
I guess it was Damone.

LINDA
Of course it was Damone. If it was
Ron Johnson, you'd be out to here!

STACY
I'm not going to tell him. He's an
asshole. I hate him.

LINDA
But it costs money to have an
abortion. Even at the Free Clinic.
You tell Damone to pay for it. It's
the least he can do. It's the guy's
responsibility too.

She puts the TV back on and they watch.

STACY
You know, there's one thing you didn't
tell me about guys.

LINDA
What?

STACY
You didn't tell me that they can be
so nice, so great... but then you
sleep with them and they start acting
like they're five years old.

LINDA
You're right. I didn't tell you that.

EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - TWO DAYS LATER

Stacy Hamilton is walking towards Mike Damone on the football
field. We see him from a distance, timing track runners.

DAMONE
What's going on?

STACY
Mike, there's something that's been
on my mind and I have to tell you
about it.

DAMONE
What? Now?

He clicks off the time on a runner, and then turns to face
her.

DAMONE
Why don't you call me up tonight?

STACY
Mike. I want you to know that I'm
pregnant.

ANGLE ON STACY

as she looks down. They are words she never thought she would
be speaking.

DAMONE
How do you know it's mine? We only
did it once.

STACY
I know it's yours.

ANGLE ON DAMONE

as he realizes she is sincere, and he truly begins to panic.

DAMONE
You made me do it! You locked the
door. You made me do it! You wanted
it more than me!

ANGLE ON STACY

She does not flinch.

STACY
Take that back.

DAMONE
All right, I take it back.

ANGLE ON DAMONE

He hugs his arms tighter across his chest, and decides to
try a more mature tact.

DAMONE
There's only one thing we can do.
We've got to get rid of it. We've
got to get an abortion.

STACY
We've got to get an abortion?

DAMONE
Yeah. My brother Art got his
girlfriend one once.

STACY
It's already planned, Mike. It's
going to cost $150 at the Free Clinic.

DAMONE
Doesn't sound free to me.
(pause)
So you want me to pay for it?

STACY
Half. Okay?
(bites back tears)
Seventy-five dollars. And a ride to
the clinic.

DAMONE
Seventy-five dollars, and a ride.
Okay.

Stacy stands there, hands folded, nodding.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - AFTERNOON

He is working at his desk, counting through a wad of money.

ANGLE ON THE LIST

in front of him, which has a split line down the middle.
People Who Owe Me -- fifteen dollars Rick.

People I Owe -- seventy-five dollars REO Speedwagon tickets,
seventy-five dollars abortion. Damone counts fifteen dollars
into his stack, crosses out Rick. Then he counts through the
money. Seventy five dollars exactly. He crosses out REO
Speedwagon tickets. This leaves him no money for the abortion.

EXT. STREET CORNER - AFTERNOON

Here, at the same corner where she once waited for Ron
Johnson, Stacy waits for Damone. Cars pass, no Damone.

INT. HAMILTON HOUSE - AFTERNOON

Stacy is on the phone, calling Damone. We see the phone
messages sheet that lists two calls for Stacy, and none for
Brad. The line rings four times, then it's answered.

FEMALE VOICE
Hello?

STACY
Hello... is Mike there?

FEMALE VOICE
Hold on.

Stacy sags, disbelieving, and looks at the clock on the
kitchen wall. It's getting late...

FEMALE VOICE
He says he's helping his father in
the garage and he'll call you back.

Stacy is stunned.

FEMALE VOICE
Hello?

Stacy hangs up. She punches out another number, quickly.

MRS. BARRETT (V.O.)
Hello?

STACY
Hi, Mrs. Barrett. Is Linda there?

MRS. BARRETT (V.O.)
She went off to the beach. She'll be
back later, though.

STACY
Okay. Thanks.

She looks at the clock again, then hears a noise in the
driveway.

STACY
Brad! Hey, wait a second!

She runs out.

EXT. CRUISING VESSEL - AFTERNOON

Brad and Stacy pull up next to the flea market.

STACY
Yeah. This is it. I have some shopping
to do.

BRAD
See you later.

STACY
Thanks a lot, Brad. I really
appreciate it.

She gets out of the car.

EXT. FLEA MARKET

Stacy Hamilton watches her brother drive away. Then she looks
to both sides, and walks on. She passes the entrance to the
Flea Market. She walks around the corner to another building
marked BIRTH CONTROL - FREE CLINIC. Brad follows her in the
rearview mirror.

INT. BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC

Stacy is lying in bed wearing a paper dress. Her hair is
stuffed in paper shower cap. She looks anxious. In a bed
next to her an older girl is being affectionate with her
visiting boyfriend.

A Nurse comes in with an IV.

NURSE
This is going to prick a little.

She sticks the needle into Stacy's hand. Stacy looks pained
but doesn't yell. The Nurse pats the rolling bed.

NURSE
Now scoot over here.

Stacy moves onto it. Looking up from her point of view, we
see the ride out of the room and into:

INT. OPERATING ROOM

Stacy gets wheeled in. The Doctor looks down at her.

DOCTOR
Hello, Stacy, I'm Doctor Bartell.

Stacy moves onto the operating table as the Nurse and Doctor
get ready.

DOCTOR
Any questions before we begin?

STACY
This is going to hurt, isn't it?

DOCTOR
We'll use a local but you'll feel
some pressure. It doesn't last that
long.

STACY
Does it hurt more to have a baby?

The Doctor pauses and considers her question.

DOCTOR
Yes... but I think you mind it less.

Stacy looks up at the lights and listens to the sound of
suction tubes.

INT. B.C. WAITING AREA

The other girl and Stacy sit at a table eating toast and
jelly. The girl is reading. The Nurse enters.

NURSE
How are we doing in here? Debbie,
ready to leave?

The girl nods and gets up.

NURSE
Right through here. Stacy, I can't
let you go unless you have a ride
home.

STACY
Uh, my boyfriend said held be waiting
downstairs.

The Nurse studies her, decides she's telling the truth and
allows her to leave.

EXT. ENTRANCE TO THE FREE CLINIC

Stacy walks back out into the sunlight, slowly and weakly.
She is surprised and amazed at who she sees standing outside,
waiting for her.

ANGLE ON BRAD HAMILTON

He stands, hands on hips, just outside the door.

STACY
Brad!

He puts an arm around her and leads her toward his waiting
car.

BRAD
Since when do you shop at the Flea
Market anyway?

STACY
Brad. Please don't tell Mom and Dad...

He helps her into the cruising vessel. He starts up the car
and drives off.

BRAD
Who did it?

Stacy stares out the window. Tears well in her eyes.

BRAD
You're not going to tell me, are
you?

STACY
No.

BRAD
All right, then. It's your secret.

Stacy smiles at Brad. Brad smiles back. The car drives on.

INT. LINDA'S ROOM - NIGHT

Stacy is in Linda's room, sitting on her bed. Her eyes are
red and moist from crying. Linda listens to her story.

STACY
I really thought he would show up.
I waited... and waited... and
waited...

LINDA
That little prick.

STACY
Then I called his house, and his
mother told me he was in the garage
helping his father.

LINDA
That little prick.

STACY
I paid for it and everything.

LINDA
There goes your stereo for another
year. Mike Damone is a no-brain little
prick. I'm not letting him get away
with this.

STACY
Don't do anything, Linda. I'd rather
just forget about it. I don't even
like the guy.

LINDA
Stacy, he's not a guy.
(loud)
He's a little prick!

Stacy lies back on the bed.

EXT. DAMONE HOUSE - MORNING

The front door to the Damone house opens, and out walks Mike
Damone carrying some books. He looks troubled, burdened, and
stares down at the walkway as he moves towards his car. He
walks around, starts to pen the car door, then he sees it.
There, in white spray paint across the driver's door, is the
message: PRICK.

DAMONE
Shhhhhhhhhit.

He looks both ways, and starts back towards the house.

EXT. DAMONE CAR

Mike Damone travels down Ridgemont Drive, making the turn
into the school parking lot. There is a large cardboard panel
taped on the side of his car.

EXT. DAMONE'S LOCKER

He arrives at his locker, where, in white spray paint, there
is another message: LITTLE PRICK.

Several girls walk by, they laugh knowingly.

GIRL #1
Hi, Mike!

GIRL #2
Hi, mike!

Damone backs up against the locker, with a sick smile on his
face.

DAMONE
Hi... girls.

More students pass, looking strangely at the young man pinned
against his own locker.

EXT. BOY'S LOCKER ROOM - AFTERNOON

Damone exits the boys locker room. Just as he does, he is
accosted by The Rat. We have never quite heard this tone in
The Rat's voice before.

THE RAT
Damone? What happened between you
and Stacy?

Damone feigns The Attitude, shakes his head. Damone sighs.

DAMONE
Let me tell you something, Rat.
Sometimes girls just go haywire. It
was a month ago, I've been trying to
think of a way to tell you ever since.
We started messing around and...
(shrugs)
...something happened. It's all over
with. It's no big deal. I never called
her again.

The Rat says nothing.

DAMONE
If you ask me, she's pretty
aggressive. You understand what I'm
saying?

THE RAT
No Damone. I don't understand.

DAMONE
She wasn't really your girlfriend
anyway.

THE RAT
Hey fuck you Damone. There's a lot
of girls out there and you mess around
with Stacy. What have you got to
prove?

DAMONE
Jesus. I'm sorry.

THE RAT
I always stick up for you. Whenever
people say 'Aw, that Damone is a
loudmouth' -- and they say that a
lot -- I say 'You just don't know
Damone.' When someone says you're an
idiot, I tell them 'Damone's not an
idiot. You just don't know him.'
Well, you know, Damone, maybe they
do know you pretty good. And I'm
just finding out.

DAMONE
Fine. Get lost.

Damone starts to push past him, but The Rat shoves his
shoulder hard.

DAMONE
All right, Rat. You want to do
something about it?

Damone begins the classic high school fighting ritual. He
throws his books down. He takes a step back. He goes into a
crouch. He gestures towards himself. Then Damone says the
universally recognized high school fighting words.

DAMONE
Well come on.

The Rat shows no fear. As other kids begin to crowd around
the two boys, Rat throws his own books down.

He takes a step back, goes into the crouch. He gestures toward
himself.

THE RAT
You come on.

They stand there, gesturing, neither one of them wanting to
make the first move.

DAMONE
No. You come on, you wuss.

Assistant Coach Mr. Sexton comes running out of the boy's
locker room, and steps in front of the two boys.

SEXTON
Hey! Knock this crap off!!

The Rat stalks off, disappearing into the crowd of onlookers.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. RIDGEMONT DRIVE - NIGHT

The Ridgemont Drive strip is filled with cars, cruising for
parties. There is a lot of honking, and yelling out windows.
Everyone is headed towards the beach. We stay on a lowly 7-
11 store near the freeway entrance.

EXT. 7-11 STORE - NIGHT

A yellow Firebird slowly, menacingly cruises the empty parking
lot. It does not stop.

Then, around the corner, walks Jeff Spicoli. We see him in
the neon 7-11 light, his hands stuffed deep into the pockets
of baggy jeans. He walks inside the store. He is the only
shopper.

INT. 7-11 STORE

Brad Hamilton stands behind the counter in a red and white
striped shirt and cap, making fresh coffee. Jeff Spicoli
trudges up to the counter. He looks at Brad. Brad looks at
Spicoli. There is an unspoken edge between them.

SPICOLI
Hey, mon, can I use the bathroom?

Brad squints his eyes, looks at the sign on the back room
door.

ANGLE ON

sign which reads: Rest Room For Employees Only.

BRAD
Go ahead. Just make it quick.

SPICOLI
Totally.

BRAD
It's the first door on your left.

Spicoli disappears into the back room. Brad sighs, looks at
the clock. It reads: 11:15. Then he hears Spicoli from the
back room.

SPICOLI (O.S.)
I can't find it, mon!

BRAD
It's the first door on your left!

SPICOLI (O.S.)
On the ledge?

BRAD
First door on your left!

SPICOLI (O.S.)
There it is!

Brad sighs again. He loads a new filter into the coffee maker.

EXT./INT. 7-11 STORE

A moment later, the yellow Firebird pulls into the 7-11
parking lot. A man in a windbreaker comes hurtling out of
the car, into the store. He spray paints the scanning camera
above the door. He hustles up to the counter, produces a .45
Magnum and points it chest high at Brad. There is a glazed
and nervous speedy edge to his voice.

ROBBER
I want money. And I want it all --
now.

Brad looks pale and young under the fluorescent 7-11 light.

He speaks slowly.

BRAD
They empty and close the big safe
here at midnight.

ROBBER
(getting tougher)
I know this store. I know where the
safe is.

He bangs the gun on the counter, hard.

ROBBER
Over there behind the donut case.
Now move!

Brad slowly moves to the donut case, like a zombie.

BRAD
I'm instructed to tell you that we
are on a video alarm system and there
are other hidden cameras in the
store...

ROBBER
Just give me the money. Move it.

BRAD
Okay.
(legs are shaking)
I just started here, and they just
taught me the procedure. I'll give
you the money, just let me figure
this out.

ROBBER
(very menacing)
Move it. Move it.

Brad opens the phony back of the donut case and fiddles with
the strongbox combination.

ROBBER
(more menacing)
Let's go, stupid.

Brad looks at the gunman.

BRAD
You motherfucker. Get off my fuckin'
case.

The Robber is about to react when the bathroom door opens
and Jeff Spicoli starts out, wiping his hands on his pants.

SPICOLI
No towels, mon...

The Robber turns to look at Spicoli, and that is all that
Brad Hamilton needs. Just like it is the most natural thing
in the world, Brad reaches for the hot, steaming coffee pot
he has just made and throws it into the gunman's face and
hands.

ROBBER
Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!

The .45 falls out of his hand and rattles to the floor. The
gunman is still grabbing his face, and looking at his skinless
hands in horror when Brad snaps up the gun. In the parking
lot, the gunman's accomplice, poised behind the wheel of the
yellow Firebird, spots the foul-up and screeches out of the
parking lot.

BRAD
There goes your ride home.

Brad pulls the under-counter alarm with newfound confidence.
Jeff Spicoli stands there, mesmerized at the entire event.

SPICOLI
Awesome. Totally awesome.

EXT. RIDGEMONT MALL - NIGHT

Kids are pouring into the Ridgemont mall. Summer banners are
already up.

INT. THE MALL - NIGHT

In the midst of all the kids and shoppers, we see The Rat
walking slowly down the promenade. He is wearing an Army
surplus jacket, and his hands are buried deep in his pockets.

Two girls pass his way. One smiles briefly at him, and The
Rat turns to watch her pass. He is about to say something to
her, then no. He walks on, sees Swenson's Ice-Cream Parlor
up ahead. The Rat decides to walk the other way.

INT. SWENSON'S - NIGHT

The place is busy again, filled with shoppers and teenagers
in summer-type clothing.

We see Stacy Hamilton, once again, at the cash register
wearing an Assistant manager name tag and a hostess gown.
She handles a customer's bill, then stands there a moment,
looking glum. Linda Barrett approaches.

STACY
Another summer of working at
Swenson's.

LINDA
Come on. There's lots of men around
here. Keep your eyes open.

STACY
You know, Linda. I've finally figured
it out. It's not sex I want. Anyone
can have sex.

LINDA
What do you want?

STACY
I want romance.

LINDA
Romance in Ridgemont? We don't even
get cable TV.

ANGLE ON

the back kitchen door, which swings open, and out comes Mike
Damone in a peppermint Swenson's shirt.

He wipes some grime on his pants.

STACY
Mike! You have a mess on C-9!

DAMONE
All right. All right. I just cleaned
B-8. Give me a break.

STACY
Get going.

The two girls smile, go back to their posts.

INT. JEFF SPICOLI'S ROOM - NIGHT

Jeff Spicoli sits in his room, and it is his castle. Clothes
lie in disarray on the floor. A huge half-waxed surfboard is
propped against the window. We see Spicoli dressed in a too
large white short-sleeved shirt, attempting to tie his
father's fat paisley tie. He stops to take a hit from his
bong, all the while talking on the phone. The music of Lynyrd
Skynyrd's "Freebird" plays on the radio.

SPICOLI
I... am... so... wasted, mon. What
is in this shit?
(pause)
Doesn't that stuff cause brain damage?
(pause)
Bitchin'.

Spicoli listens for a moment. He rubs his eyes, shakes his
head. He is really buzzed.

SPICOLI
Hey, mon, I am going to Mexico as
soon as school is out. Two more weeks,
bud. Week from Wednesday.
(pause)
I am gonna take both boards, my duck
feet, many cases of beer, and just
jam.
(pause)
No, mon, from school. I'm leaving as
soon as school gets out. I'll be at
Sunset Cliffs by nighttime.
(pause)
Totally.
(pause)
Later.

Spicoli hangs up, and concentrates on tying his tie. He almost
strangles himself. Then suddenly the door to his room flies
open and Spicoli's little brother Curtis bursts in.

CURTIS
Jeff you have company!

SPICOLI
Go away, Curtis. If you can't knock,
I can't hear you.

Curtis slams the door and leaves. A moment later there is a
knock.

SPICOLI
That's better. Come in.

The door swings open and Jeff Spicoli sits in stoned shock
at the sight before him. There, standing in the doorway of
his room is Mr. Hand.

SPICOLI
Mr... Mr. Hand.

MR. HAND
That's right, Jeff. Mind if I come
in?

Spicoli can only nod.

MR. HAND
(calling downstairs)
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Spicoli.

Hand walks into Spicoli's room, takes off his suit jacket
and lays it on the chair back. He stops a moment and catches
the stare of Miss January Penthouse on the wall, then turns
to Spicoli.

MR. HAND
Were you going somewhere tonight,
Jeff?

SPICOLI
Yeah. The Graduation Dance Mr. Hand.
It's the last school event of the
year.

MR. HAND
I'm afraid we've got some things to
discuss here, Jeff.

SPICOLI
Did I do something wrong, Mr. Hand?

Hand removes several copies of Oui Magazine from another
chair and sits down. He sets his briefcase on Spicoli's
dresser, next to a bag of pot, and opens it up for easy
access.

MR. HAND
Do you want to sit there, Jeff?

SPICOLI
I don't know. I guess so.

MR. HAND
Fine. You sit right here on your
bed. I'll use the chair here.
(pause)
As I explained to your parents just
a moment ago, and to you many times
since the very beginning of the school
year -- I don't like to spend my
time waiting for late students, or
detention cases. I'd rather be
preparing the lesson.

Mr. Hand takes a sheet from his briefcase and looks at it.

MR. HAND
According to my calculations, Mr.
Spicoli, you wasted a total of eight
hours of my time this year. And
rest assured that is a kind estimate.

He returns the sheet to his case and looks into Spicoli's
weed-ravaged eyes.

MR. HAND
Now, Mr. Spicoli, comes a rare moment
for me. Now I have the unique pleasure
of squaring our account. Tonight,
you and I are going to talk in great
detail about the Davis Agreement,
all the associated treaties, and the
American Revolution in particular.
Now if you can just turn to Chapter
47 of Lord of Truth And Liberty.

SPICOLI
Hey, it's in my locker, Mr. Hand.

MR. HAND
Well, then, I'm glad I remembered to
bring an extra copy just for you.

Hand reaches in his case and produces the book. He hands it
to Spicoli.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. SPICOLI'S ROOM - HOURS LATER

Wearily, Spicoli is trying to grasp the material.

SPICOLI
...so, like, when Jefferson went
before the people what he was saying
was 'Hey, we left this place in
England because it was bogus, and if
we don't come up with some cool rules
ourself, we'll be bogus, too!' Right?

ANGLE ON MR. HAND

who nods his head.

MR. HAND
Very close, Jeff.

Hand reaches over and gets his case.

MR. HAND
I think I've made my point with you
tonight.

SPICOLI
Hey, Mr. Hand, can I ask you a
question?

MR. HAND
What's that?

SPICOLI
Do you have a guy like me every year?
A guy to... I don't know, make a
show of. Teach other kids lessons
and stuff?

MR. HAND
Well, you'll find out next year.

SPICOLI
(smiling)
No way, mon. When I graduate U.S.
history I ain't even coming over to
your side of the building.

MR. HAND
If you graduate.

SPICOLI
(panicked)
You're gonna flunk me?!

Mr. Hand pauses a moment, then breaks into the nearest
approximation of a grin we have seen all year. It isn't much,
but it's noticeable. His lips crinkle at the ends.

MR. HAND
Don't worry, Spicoli. You'll probably
squeak by.

SPICOLI
All right! Oh, yeah!

Mr. Hand has now gathered all his material, and he stands to
approach Spicoli's door. Jeff jumps up, extends his hand.

SPICOLI
Aloha, Mr. Hand!

MR. HAND
Aloha, Spicoli.

Mr. Hand exits the room, and descends the staircase of the
Spicoli household. Spicoli kicks the door shut, grins, and
continues struggling with his tie.

INT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM - NIGHT

Tight angle on the emotion-filled face of the lead singer in
a cheesy high school band called the T Birds. He is bathed
in a blue light, singing the last verse of The Eagles' 'Take
It To The Limit'.

We pull back to reveal a large, clumsy banner reading: LAST
DANCE. Students are pouring into the gym for this event.
Many have brought their annual yearbooks. On stage, the lead
singer snaps his fingers and the band goes into Nick Lowe's
'Heart of the City'. Some students start to dance.

Every one of our characters is either here, or about to
arrive. From Charles Jefferson to Spicoli to Mr. Hand. For
once, all classes are partying together. But, just as in the
beginning of the year on lunch court, the kids are still
cordoned off into their distinctive cliques.

ANGLE ON MORE STUDENTS ARRIVING

at the Last Dance. They see Mr. Hand signing annuals by the
door. They all say the same thing as they pass, "Aloha, Mr.
Hand". He nods in return.

ANGLE ON STACY

surveying the growing mob of annual-crazed students. From
behind her comes Linda Barrett in a low-cut black dress.

STACY
Where's Doug?

LINDA
He's not coming.

STACY
Not coming? What happened?

LINDA
He says he's got to stay in Chicago.
(sighs)
He says I should visit him sometimes.

STACY
Sometime?

LINDA
Yeah, like maybe never.

STACY
But what are you going to do?

LINDA
Well I might go to Dartmouth.

STACY
Dartmouth?!

LINDA
I didn't tell anyone I applied cause
I never thought I'd make it.

STACY
I can't believe it! But what about
Doug?

LINDA (STOIC)
There's a world of guys out there.
I just wish I didn't have to date
any of them.

STACY
Hey -- Doug Stallworth? It's his
loss.

ANGLE ON MIKE DAMONE

in another part of the dance, by the Junior class sponsored
food counter. Damone is standing, talking to several girls,
gesturing and being Damone, Mr. Attitude.

DAMONE
Sign my annual, honey.

The girls look at each other, laugh. They walk away.

ANGLE ON THE RAT

standing nearby.

THE RAT
You're losing it, Damone.

DAMONE
You're crazy. Those girls love me.

ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI

sprawled out in the bleachers with his surfer stoner buddies.
He turns to one admiring stoner (Todd).

SPICOLI
Hey, mon. Sign my annual.

Spicoli slips the annual into the kid's crotch. The stoner
winces in pain, but still opens the book and lingers on all
the signings in Spicoli's annual.

They are all drug-related messages from fellow stoners. After
a moment, Spicoli's friend signs:

"Thanks for the reds. Todd."

TODD
Hey, mon, good thing we're going to
Mexico this summer. 'Cause you're
gonna get kicked out of your house
when your parents read your annual.

INT. GYMNASIUM - ANGLE ON DOOR

Brad Hamilton pushes both doors open, and makes his entrance
into the Last Dance. There is a lot of activity going on,
but all nearby eyes turn to Brad as he walks into the dance.
Fifteen kids immediately gravitate towards him. They all
want Brad to sign their annuals, to talk about the 7-11
incident. Onstage, the T-Birds play the Beatles' "It Won't
Be Long".

We see Brad's old girlfriend Lisa push up to him. Her new
jock boyfriend holds a protective arm around her.

LISA
I saw your picture in the paper. You
had the greatest look on your face!

ANOTHER STUDENT
Front of the Metro Section. I'm
telling my parents, 'I know this
guy, I know this guy.'

Lisa's boyfriend pulls his arm tighter around her.

LISA
Will you sign my annual, Brad?

Brad smiles, nods. He signs, and gives her his. We then see
Brad's three Buddies from Carl's Jr. come up, pat him on the
back and grab his shoulder. Brad studies them warily.

BUDDY #1
Fuckin' manager of 7-11!

BUDDY #2
Get us jobs over there, Brad! You
can do it!

BRAD
Since when do you guys want to work
at 7-11?

BUDDY #2
Come on, Brad! It would be great!
All of us together!

BRAD
Well, 7-11 is a tremendous operation.
It's really changed, man. They've
got great food, great magazines,
videogames... it's class. Total class.

BUDDY #3
As soon as you can get us in there,
we're gone from Carl's, Brad.

BUDDY #2
Yeah, man, all the little punks from
junior high have taken over the place.

Brad leaves his old buddies. He grins and notices someone
across the crowded dance floor.

BRAD
Hey, Thompson! Wendell! Get a job!

They laugh, flip him off. Brad is back in his element at
last. He moves into the main dancing area, works his way
across the room, past the bleachers, when he hears a voice.

SPICOLI (O.S.)
Hamilton!

Brad turns around, seen Spicoli sitting on the bottom rung
of the bleachers. Spicoli looks back with true respect.

SPICOLI
Awesome.

He throws Brad his annual. Brad gives him his. They sign.

SPICOLI
Easy, mon.

BRAD
Later.

ANGLE ON THE BLEACHERS

where several couples are passionately making out. Four
teachers clomp up into the stands from different angles.
They pin the couples in flashlight beams, like the main tower
pinning an escaping prisoner.

ANGLE ON THE T-BIRDS

onstage, singing the Rolling Stones' "I'm Free".

EXT. GYNMASIUM - NIGHT

We see Jeff Spicoli leave the dance and come backing down
the stairs with a stoner bud. His fist is in the air.

SPICOLI
Summer, mon! We're there!

He turns to his stoner bud.

SPICOLI
Let's roll, my man.

Spicoli backs right into a young buzz-cut kid.

SPICOLI
Hey, bud! Watch yourself!

Spicoli turns around to see he's backed into a squad of eight
Lincoln Surf Nazis. They are all standing on the steps,
waiting.

SURF NAZI
Are you Jeff Spicoli?

Spicoli looks up and down the row of Surf Nazis. On the end,
he sees L.C.

L.C.
That's him! He did it!

SPICOLI
Hey, mon, I don't know what your
trip is, but...

Spicoli dashes off down Luna Street. L.C. and the Surf Nazis
take out in hot pursuit, chasing him through the parking
lot, past Ridgemont High, and into the night. They will never
catch him.

SLOW DISSOLVE:

INT. RIDGEMONT MALL

School is out and it's summer business as usual at the
Ridgemont Mall. We see the same stores, the same packs of
kids roaming the three tiers.

ANGLE ON MARK RATNER

who stands against the railing in his Cinema Four jacket,
gazing across the mall at Swenson's Ice Cream Parlor. He
sees Stacy walk two girlfriends to the outdoor front tables,
and almost look his way.

The Rat turns away suddenly. Then he hears her calling out
after him.

STACY
Hey Mark! Turn around!

Ratner turns around, affects total and complete cool. He
waves across the mall to her.

STACY
Come over here!

He looks back at his post at the theatre, decides it's okay
to step away. He walks across the mall.

INT. SWENSON'S

Stacy is standing by the sundae bar. Next to her are two
empty stools. After a moment, we see The Rat plop onto one
of the metal stools. He pounds the seat next to him with the
palm of his hand.

THE RAT
You. Sit.

Stacy turns to look at him, smiles. She sits.

STACY
Hi, Mark.

THE RAT
Hi, Stacy. How are you?

STACY
I'm fine. Mark, I'm so glad you came
over here because I want you to know
something. I just thought I would
tell you that I really enjoyed getting
to know you this year.

The Rat maintains The Attitude.

THE RAT
Yeah? About fifty people I didn't
know wrote that in my annual.

STACY
I know everybody says it, but I really
mean it.

The Rat looks at her from the corner of his eyes.

THE RAT
Really?

STACY
Yeah. I want you to have this picture,
so you won't forget what I look like.
And so you'll remember to call me
over the summer.

She withdraws a picture from her pocket, hands it to The
Rat.

THE RAT
Well, I don't know, I may be doing
some traveling this summer. I don't
know how much I'll be around...
(breaks down, takes
picture)
But I'll give you a call sometime.

STACY
I'd like that.

She gives him a kiss on the mouth, gets up and walks away.
The Rat sits there, smiling at the way things sometimes turn
out. He slips the picture into his pocket, a satisfied young
man.

INT./EXT. SWENSON'S AND MALL

The Rat is joined by Mike Damone, who has changed into his
street clothes.

DAMONE
She wants it, Rat.

The Rat snickers, shakes his head.

DAMONE
I saw you. You had pure Attitude.

The Rat turns to look at his friend.

THE RAT
The Attitude, Damone, is only good
until you meet the right girl.

DAMONE
Whatever you say, Rat.

They take off together, blending into the crowd of kids
walking the mall.

THE RAT
And... you can only tell it's the
right girl if you're sensitive.

DAMONE
Sensitive -- what is that?

THE RAT
Sensitive is when you can tell how
people feel without asking.

DAMONE
So what makes you so sensitive?

THE RAT
Well, for one, I read. I don't watch
as much television as you. I'm trying
to feel things more. I'm learning a
lot about people.

DAMONE
What do you read? What's the last
book you read?

THE RAT
Lust For Life. It's the story of
Vincent Van Gough.

DAMONE
(scoffs)
Yeah, well, I saw the movie. That
must mean I'm sensitive too.

THE RAT
It's a way, Damone. It's a vibe. I
put it out, and I have personally
found that girls do respond.

Damone laughs, shoves him hard. We lose sight of the two
boys in the sea of kids.

SERIES OF ANGLES

of Ridgemont Center Mall with music.

CREDITS

FADE TO BLACK:

THE END

Contact | Disclaimer
Copyright © WeeklyScript.com | Scripts Copyright © their respective owners