"FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH"
EXT. RIDGEMONT CENTER MALL - NIGHT
From the outside parking lot it looks like an enormous beached
whale. It is the prime hangout for all the teenagers in the
area. Kids mill around the parking lot or stand by the mall
INT. RIDGEMONT CENTER MALL
There are three levels of stores underneath a massive
fluorescent roof. Different music comes from each store. It
looks seventies-modern, but already used and run-down. Groups
of kids cruise the mall, eyeing each other and acting cool.
INT. SWENSON'S ICE-CREAM PARLOR - NIGHT
The teenage waitresses in their peppermint pattie uniforms
are rushing around, trying to keep up with their orders.
A good-looking man in his mid-twenties enters and sits. He
wears a plastic name tag that says: "Pacific Stereo Audio
Consultant, RON JOHNSON."
Two Swenson's Waitresses pass by with supreme indifference,
and take their orders into the back kitchen.
INT. SWENSON'S BACK KITCHEN
I think he looks like Richard Gere.
The two Waitresses discuss the issue at hand. One of them,
Linda Barrett, is the seventeen year old, retired sex queen
of Ridgemont High.
I think he looks like... Richard
Gere. (Bruce Springsteen)
Did you see his cute little butt?
A third waitress enters.
Let's talk about C-19.
WAITRESS #1 AND LINDA
I think I'll drop over and change
No, be cool, that's Stacy's section.
Through the entrance, we see Stacy Hamilton. She is the
fifteen-year-old trainee, sweet-looking with just the last
traces of baby fat. She puts down a glass of water for Ron,
spills some and mops it up.
He's too old for Stacy, she hasn't
even started high school yet.
A flustered Stacy enters the back kitchen.
How's it going.
Do you think that guy's cute?
In a blow-dryed kind of way.
Does anyone else want to take his
Don't you like him?
Yeah, but I fucked up. You can take
Come on, Stacy, it's your section
and your man.
What should I do?
Just take his order, look him in the
eye and if he says anything remotely
funny, laugh a lot.
She fluffs up Stacy's hair and gently shoves her towards the
door. Stacy reluctantly exits.
INT. SWENSON'S DINING ROOM
Stacy goes to Ron's table.
So you working hard or hardly working?
Stacy thinks it over, decides it's a joke and laughs (a little
too late). Ron looks at her soulfully.
You look like you could still be in
I know, everyone says that.
He stares at her and she stares back uncomfortably.
What can I get for you tonight.
How about your phone number?
Stacy smiles nervously.
INT. RIDGEMONT MALL - OUTSIDE SWENSON'S - NIGHT
A teenage boy stands in front of an in-mall theatre across
from Swenson's. He wears a stiff over-sized tuxedo suit. He
is Mark "The Rat" Ratner, a ticket taker on the job.
Mike Damone, a transplanted Easterner, bops over from the
record store, eyeing every girl he passes. He stops at the
Do you ever look at those girls who
work at Swenson's? They're beautiful.
And I have to stand out here and
watch them six nights a week.
You should work for yourself.
Two Junior High Kids spot Damone, walk up to him.
What can I do for you, gentlemen?
JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
You the guy with the Van Halen
I could be.
JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
What do you want for something in
the first ten rows?
Twenty bucks apiece.
JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
Those tickets were only twelve fifty!
So don't buy 'em.
JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
All the other scalpers are sold out,
Damone reacts indignantly.
Scalper? You call me a scalper? I
perform a service, my friends. The
service costs money. Now do you want
the tickets or not?
The Kids look at each other.
JUNIOR HIGH KID #1
Are you sure you can't go any lower.
These are my special back-to-school
JUNIOR HIGH KID #2
We'll take 'em.
Damone reaches inside his pants pocket for a wad of tickets.
EXT. CARL'S JR. - NIGHT
At the other end of the mall is a neon-lit Carl's Jr.
Hamburger Restaurant. If Swenson's was the warm up, this is
the main attraction of the Ridgemont Mall.
INT. CARL'S JR.
Back-to-school banners hang from the walls. Many kids are
lined up at the counters. In the middle of the kitchen,
directing all the orders, is a seventeen year old named Brad.
He moves confidently, observing the fryer, checking cup
supply, and giving an affectionate squeeze to a pretty cashier
named Lisa. She lets him kiss her, but only once.
A teenage Customer shouts to Brad from the front counter.
Hey Brad! I waited till you came on!
I wanted your fries.
Brad smiles, walks over to the fryer and discards the fries
left from the previous shift. He shouts to the other employees
as he puts in a new batch, "his" batch.
We need fifteen Superstars, David!
FELLOW EMPLOYEE #1
I'll take care of the fry orders!
Just get me the Superstars!
FELLOW EMPLOYEE #2
Brad spots three surfers sitting in the dining area. None of
them are wearing shirts.
Hey you guys! You had shirts on when
you came in here.
ANGLE ON THE MAIN SURFER
a bleary kid sitting at the head of the table. He runs a
hand through his long, stringy blond hair. After a time, he
Something happened to them, mon.
Come on, Spicoli. Why don't you just
put your shirts back on? See the
ANGLE ON HANDWRITTEN SIGN IN WINDOW
that reads: "No Shirts, No Shoes, No Dice"
INT. CARL'S JR.
A store manager, Dennis Taylor, bustles up to Brad.
No, just a couple of surfers with no
shirts on. I took care of it, Dennis.
ANGLE ON SURFERS
grumbling, putting shirts back on. It pains them.
Dennis heads back to his office when he sees something in
the trash bin.
Did you throw away those fries,
They were left over from the last
Those were perfectly good fries,
(glares at Brad)
But they weren't mine.
Brad laughs, goes back to work.
INT. MALL - LATE NIGHT
It is closed and only a few janitors remain. Stacy and Linda
walk through the large empty mall.
He gave me his card.
'Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant.'
Should we buy a frame for that?
Come on, Linda, I haven't had a
boyfriend all summer. You promised
when I started working at the mall
that my life would change... Do you
think he'll call this week?
Listen, Stace, you want to know about
guys? I'll tell you. They're mostly
chicken. Before I met Doug I chased
after every guy I thought was cute.
I thought if I gave out a vibe they'd
get the message and call me up. Well,
guess what? They don't call.
So what did you do?
I called them. If I was sitting next
to a guy and I wanted to sit closer,
I'd sit closer. If I wanted to kiss
him, I'd just do it. You want Ron
Johnson? Grab him.
I can't do that.
They pass a janitor cleaning graffiti that says: LINCOLN
SURF NAZIS and MAGGOT LUST FOR THE DUST.
Face it. With some guys you have to
make the first move. A lot of guys
are just... wussies.
Stacy, what are you waiting for?
You're fifteen. I did it when I was
thirteen. It's no huge thing. It's
just sex. If you don't, one of the
other girls will.
He was hot, wasn't he?
If I didn't have a fiancÚ in Chicago,
I'd go for it.
A young Girl runs and catches up with Linda and Stacy.
Are you Linda Barrett?
I'm Carrie Frazier from Toys 'R Us.
Judy Hinton from May Company told me
I could ask you something.
I have this situation with my
boyfriend, and I wanted to...
(looks at Stacy, then
whispers in Linda's
Linda listens thoughtfully, then clicks into her "sex expert"
Okay, are you over sixteen?
The Girl nods.
All right, what you want to do is go
to the Free Clinic and tell the doctor
that you have sex regularly -- several
times a week -- and that you need
Nornel One Plus Fifty's.
And they don't call my parents?
Not if you're over sixteen.
Okay. Thanks a lot, Linda.
And don't let them talk you into a
The Girl thanks Linda again. Linda and Stacy get to the back
exit of the mall and Linda uses a key to open the door.
I can't believe I start high school
They exit the mall, into the night.
EXT. RIDGEMONT SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
We see all the elements of the first day of school. The
students carry new books, explore new lockers, begin to stake
out their ground.
Someone has taken the steel letters from the green vanguard
out front. It reads: "IDG MON SENOR HI HO."
The rest of Ridgemont High is covered with toilet paper. And
a black spray paint message along the side of the front office
building reads, "LINCOLN SURF NAZIS."
EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT - DAY
Brad pulls into the Ridgemont High parking lot. He drives a
beat-up, four-door model LTD sedan. Three friends wait for
him near his parking space.
They are dressed in the same golf caps with brand logos on
the front like CAT, NATIONAL and CHAINSAW.
The cruising vessel! Hey -- Yooooo!
Brad climbs out of his car and pats it admiringly.
Six more payments, gentlemen.
Brad joins his friends, and they walk towards the gymnasium.
EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT
We see a shiny, new, blue Mustang whip into the parking lot.
Students scatter from the parking space. Behind the wheel is
football star Charles Jefferson. A huge, black kid. The halls
at Ridgemont part for Charles Jefferson.
Rat and Damone are in the parking lot. Damone surrounded by
underclassmen (customers) selling tickets.
See that Mustang? U.C.L.A. gave
Charles Jefferson that car when he
was a sophomore.
The underclassmen are impressed. They watch as Jefferson
opens his car door and stands to his full height, over six-
foot tall. He opens his trunk and pulls out no books, just a
football duffel bag. He slowly walks by Damone, Rat and the
How ya doing! That car looks great,
Jefferson gives Damone a death glare.
Don't... fuck... with... it.
He moves on. Damone resumes selling tickets.
Shit, that's my man.
EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT
We see a clutching, smooching couple walk by. Cheerleader
Cindy Carr and her boyfriend, Gregg Adams.
EXT. RIDGEMONT PARKING LOT - DAY
The Four Stoners (from Carl's Jr.) tumble out of a van in
the parking lot. They head towards the gymnasium.
INT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM - DAY
Standing by the A-B-C-D-E registration counter in the
gymnasium, Brad waits to pick up his red ad card. He stands
surrounded by his buddies. They nod vigorously at everything
Brad says. As he talks, fellow students all say hello or pat
him as they pass.
One troubled-looking boy, Arnold, walks up to Brad.
Brad, can I talk to you a minute?
Arnold. What's happening?
Arnold speaks confidentially to Brad.
Brad, I really fuckin' hate
McDonald's, man. Ever since they
started in with the chicken,
everything went downhill.
You want to work at Carl's?
Oh, man, if you could swing something
there, I'd do anything for you. I
want to work with you guys.
I can probably get you in there.
Just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.
Brad notices Stacy and nods with complete inner cool.
Hi... Where's Lisa?
Everyone wants to know where Lisa
is. How should I know where Lisa is?
What am I gonna do? Now my little
sister goes to the same high school.
The party's over.
So who do you have first period?
U.S. History. Mr. Hand.
What's wrong with Mr. Hand?
Nothing... if you like 'Hawaii Five
O.' You better get in class, Stacy.
That's not the one to be late to.
Stacy hurries off.
(as soon as she is
Your sister is really turning into a
You should see her in the morning.
INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - DAY
Stacy barely slips in the door before the final attendance
bell sounds. She finds a seat just as the teacher's cubicle
door opens at the back of the classroom. A tall figure comes
barreling down the aisle. He is Mr. Hand. The man makes a
double-speed step to the door at the front of the class,
kicks the door shut and locks it. The windows rattle in their
frames. Stacy watches, wide-eyed, at her first high school
Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.
Mr. Hand writes his name on the green chalkboard before his
class. Every letter is a small explosion of chalk.
I have but one question for you on
our first morning 'together.'
Can you attend my class? Pakalo?...
Understand?... History has proven us
one basic fact. Man does not do
anything that is not for his own
good. It is for your own good that
you attend my class. And if you can't
make it... I can make you.
An impatient knock begins at the front door of the classroom.
We have a twenty-question quiz every
Friday. It will cover all the material
we've dealt with during the week.
There will be no make-up exams. It's
important that you all have your
Land of Truth and Liberty textbooks
by Wednesday. At the latest.
The knock continues.
Your grade is the average of all
your quizzes, plus the midterm and
final, which counts for one-third.
The mystery knocker tries a lazy calypso beat on the front
door. No one in Mr. Hand's U.S. History class dares mention
it, much less answer it.
Stacy grips her desk with the tension of her first day.
Also. There will be no eating in
this class. You get used to doing
your own business on your own time.
That's one demand I make. I don't
like staying after class with you on
detention. That's my time. I don't
like wasting it. Just like you
wouldn't want me to come to your
house some evening and discuss U.S.
History on your time. Pakalo?
Hand finally turns, as if he has just noticed the sound at
the door and opens the door an inch.
Jeffrey Spicoli stands in the doorway, red eyes glistening.
His long, blond hair is still wet and streaming down the
back of his white peasant shirt.
He grins, oblivious to such trivial matters as attendance
bells. A Student sitting near Stacy turns to his friends.
That guy has been stoned since the
Yeah. I'm registered for this class.
This is U.S. History, right? I saw
the globe in the window.
Spicoli holds his red ad card up to the crack in the door.
Can I come in?
(swinging door open)
Oh, please. I get so lonely when
that third attendance bell rings and
I don't see all my kids here.
Spicoli laughs. He is the only one.
Sorry I'm late. This new schedule is
Mr. Hand takes the red ad card and reads from it with utter
That's the name they gave me.
Mr. Hand slowly tears the card into little pieces and
sprinkles the pieces over his wastebasket.
Spicoli watches in disbelief. His hands are frozen in the
process of removing his backpack.
You just ripped my card in two!
Hey, bud. What's your problem?
Mr. Hand moves to within inches of Spicoli's face.
No problem at all. I think you know
where the front office is.
It takes a moment for the words to work their way out of
Jeff Spicoli's mouth.
In the tense moment that follows, no one in the class is
sure what might happen.
Mr. Hand simply turns away from Jeff Spicoli as if he ceased
to exist and coolly continues his lecture.
I've taken the time to print up a
complete schedule of class quizzes,
and the chapters they cover. Please
pass them back to the desks behind
Hand begins passing out stacks of purple mimeographed sheets.
ANGLE ON STUDENTS
all smelling the purple mimeographed sheets.
Still standing in the doorway, hyperventilating with fifteen-
year-old adrenaline, is Jeff Spicoli. After a time, he fishes
a few bits of his ad card out of the wastebasket and huffs
out of the room.
EXT. RIDGEMONT LUNCH COURT - AFTERNOON
It's packed. The school's outdoor dining area is actually
just a small courtyard lined with fast food machines and
dominated by a large oak tree in the center. Standing at the
center of lunch court, under the large oak tree, is Brad
Hamilton and his golf-cap Buddies.
You hear about the surfer in Mr.
His Buddies shake their heads.
Told Hand to fuck off.
Brad sees another friend pass through lunch court.
Brad waits for him to pass.
I hear Thompson got canned at Bob's
Yeah. They hacked his hours, so he
Where is he now?
Making two eighty at Seven-Eleven.
They make you wear a fuckin' candy
stripe suit over there.
EXT. LUNCH COURT - ANGLE ON THE 200 BUILDING BATHROOM
Near the outer rim of lunch court. Jeff Spicoli comes
stumbling out into the daylight, surrounded by a small group
of Ridgemont Stoners. Marijuana smoke billows out behind
STONER BUDDY #1
It was so bitchin', mon. Everybody
is talking about it.
STONER BUDDY #2
The motherfucker pissed me off.
STONER BUDDY #2
Totally. You don't have to take that
I didn't take that shit.
They all laugh, flip hair out of their eyes.
STONER BUDDY #1
Tell us again. What happened after
he ripped up your ad card?
I called him a dick. And then I
reached for his class notes, and I
ripped 'em up. I said, 'Hey bud.
Two can play this game.'
The Stoners go wild.
I'll tell you this. If he hassles me
again, I can't be responsible for
what happens... you know why?
STONER BUDDY #1
Because he's a fuckin' dick!
You got it.
Gimme a dollar.
One surfer digs out a dollar for Spicoli. They look out at
lunch court, see it teeming with straight kids. They turn
and walk towards the parking lot.
EXT. LUNCH COURT - ANGLE ON STACY AND LINDA
as they walk onto lunch court. They take a seat on the
outskirts of the area and watch all the students crowding
onto the eating area.
I hear some surfer pulled a knife on
Mr. Hand this morning.
No way! He just called him a dick.
God. People exaggerate so much at
The school couple, Cindy and Gregg walk by.
Hi, Linda. God, you look so great.
Hi, you guys. This is Stacy. Stacy,
this is Gregg Adams and Cindy Carr.
GREGG AND CINDY
Stacy smiles. Gregg and Cindy move on, repeating the same
scene a few feet away.
If there's one thing that never
changes... it's a cheerleader.
Stacy turns to see a girl with short, black hair passing by,
wearing tight black spandex pants, and dark lipstick.
Linda. That girl looks just like Pat
They watch her pass.
Actually, there are three girls at
Ridgemont who have cultivated the
Pat Benatar look.
Linda gestures out on lunch court.
ANGLE ON ANOTHER PAT BENATAR LOOK-ALIKE
wearing pink spandex pants and short-cropped black hair with
ANGLE ON STILL ANOTHER PAT BENATAR LOOK-ALIKE
wearing blue spandex pants and short black hair. She stands
a good distance away from the other two.
None of them talk to each other.
Linda looks at them with bemusement but Stacy is wondering.
Do you think guys find that
Oh, give me a break, Stacy. You're
much prettier than them.
They sit and eat their lunches. Linda has her perennial diet
lunch of yogurt and raw vegetables.
Yeah but they look more sophisticated.
You'd probably think they'd be better
What do you mean 'better in bed.'
You either do it or you don't.
No there are variables that, like, I
might not be good at.
Like, you know, giving blow jobs.
What's the big deal?
Well I never did it.
There's nothing to it.
She takes out a carrot stick and eases it down her throat.
Stacy tries one but chokes.
You just have to practice a little
(feels her throat)
Relax these muscles. Think of your
throat as an open tunnel.
The girls try sliding the carrot sticks down their throats
ANGLE ON A BOY
at the next table; sees them and points them out to his
What happens... don't laugh at me,
but when a guy has an orgasm... you
know, like, how much comes out.
Stacy stops practicing and looks horrified. Linda laughs.
Just kidding. About 10cc.
Oh! That's where that group got its
They continue practicing as the boys look on. Stacy manages
to get almost a whole carrot down her throat to Linda's
The group of boys break out in applause.
Stacy looks very embarrassed.
INT. BIOLOGY LAB - DAY
The class is situated so that all students sit at Bunson
burner tables lining the room.
Pat is seated at one of the tables and Stacy takes a seat
nearby; she looks at the ledge in front of her. It contains
a pig embryo. She listens to the conversation next to her.
I'll tell you right now. I'm not
going. I'll get sick or something.
I'm not going into a room with a
bunch of dead guys.
You'll go. It's part of the final.
(a Pat Benatar)
Have you heard what they do? I'm
serious. Have you heard?
The bodies are dissected, Mike, and
Mr. Vargas pulls out parts of the
dead body and holds them up. Okay?
You mean he reaches in and pulls
this stuff out?
Like a heart?
Hearts, lungs, guts...
Stacy strains to hear more, just as Mr. Vargas -- a diminutive
man holding a coffee mug -- enters the class.
Good day, everyone! I just switched
to Sanka. I'm running a little slow
today, so have a heart.
ANGLE ON THE RAT
He is riveted on Stacy Hamilton, swooning.
INT. STACY'S ROOM - NIGHT
We see Stacy's room, a young girl's room with posters and
frilly pillows. Stacy is in bed, and her Mother is just
leaving the room.
Sleep tight, Stacy.
Good night, Mom.
Her Mother shuts off the light, exits. Stacy pulls back the
covers. She is fully dressed.
EXT. STACY'S WINDOW - NIGHT
We see the window to Stacy's room slide slowly open, and
watch her slip outside. She hikes down a drainage pipe to
EXT. STREET CORNER - NIGHT
A brown MG pulls up. Stacy jumps from the shadows and hops
in. The car drives away.
INT. RON'S CAR - NIGHT
Ron sits behind the wheel, humming casually along to the
music on his car stereo.
Ron has on a light-brown leather jacket. He looks like a
contestant for "The Dating Game."
(a little nervous)
Thanks for picking me up.
He speeds off, turning up the radio to sing along.
'The Cuer-vo Gold, the fi-ine
You look nice tonight.
Thanks. So do you.
Where do you feel like going?
I don't know. Wherever you want.
How about the point?
The point sounds fine.
(looks at her knowingly)
All right, the point it is.
We see Stacy's anxious face, as the car speeds up Ridgemont
Drive, with music.
EXT. THE POINT - NIGHT
Stacy and Ron sit in the car, listening to music.
The "point" is a natural lookout spot that lovers can
"discover." It is behind the baseball field and dugout of
Ridgemont High School.
Stacy and Ron get out of the car and walk to the baseball
INT. DUGOUT - NIGHT
They sit side-by-side. Above them, a single light bulb shines
a very private fifty watts on things.
That's a nice shirt.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Silence. They look at each other, look away.
It's very warm out tonight.
It is. It's very warm. I wonder how
long it will last?
Ron leans over and kisses Stacy lightly on the cheek. Stacy
sits quietly for a moment, thinking, was that the first move?
Then she lunges at Ron and kisses him square on the mouth.
At first surprised, Ron then holds her there and kisses her
in return. After a time, he breaks away.
Are you really nineteen?
Yes... I am really nineteen.
They continue making out.
I think I better take you home.
What about those other guys you live
No. I mean back to your home.
But they make no moves in any direction. They continue making
out. Ron begins unbuttoning her blouse and massaging Stacy's
breasts. A moment later, he tugs at her pants. Awkwardly,
she starts to help him. He tilts her backward onto the
concrete dugout bench. They kiss feverishly, her hand pulling
off her shoes, then her pants. Ron goes to work.
Is this your first time?
STACY'S POINT OF VIEW
as she feels a man enter her for the first time, we see the
graffiti above her:
Surf Nazis Lincoln was here -- Sieg Heil Led Zeppelin Dan y
Roberto (Disco Fags)
EXT. SCHOOL LOCKERS - DAY
Stacy is standing by her locker, twirling the combination.
She is joined by Linda Barrett.
Was it great?
It was okay.
You'll always remember your first
It was nice.
So tell me, do you like Ron? Is it
Come on, Linda. It's just sex.
Hey! That's my line!
They both laugh and walk down the hall.
EXT. HAMILTON HOME - LATE AFTERNOON
Stacy arrives home. The Hamilton home has that anonymous
prepackaged tract look, like many others in this lower-middle
Brad washes his car in the driveway and listens to the car
Mom says to clean up the pool.
Why can't you do it?
Your friends use the pool. Your
friends messed it up.
Your friends use the pool too.
I take out the garbage.
Don't strain yourself.
Stacy bristles, and heads inside the front door.
INT. HAMILTON LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON
The furniture in the Hamilton living room looks like it was
gleaned for a sale at Pic 'N Save. Through the living room,
one can see a very small, kidney-shaped pool.
Stacy checks an erasable telephone message sheet near the
refrigerator. There are two names on it:
BRAD/STACY. Brad's side is filled with messages.
Stacy's is empty.
She notices a summer bouquet floral arrangement.
Stacy reads the attached note. It reads: "Memories of You,
Ron Johnson." She quickly gathers it up and carries it back
outside. She fans the door several times to dispel the odor.
EXT. HAMILTON DRIVEWAY - AFTERNOON
Brad! Have Mom or Dad seen this?
They're not home yet.
Brad, what would you say if I asked
you to just put these flowers in the
trunk of the Cruising Vessel and get
rid of them at work?
I'd say... who the hell is Ron
I'll explain everything later.
Brad nods, as Stacy pushes the flowers into his arms.
INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - AFTERNOON
Damone expertly fills two glasses three-quarters full of
Kahlua, then adds a few drops of milk.
Music is playing on a nearby speaker. Damone hands The Rat a
drink and checks himself out in his mirror.
See that moustache coming in, Rat?
There is only a hint of peach fuzz, but he grooms it anyway.
See? You can almost press it out.
Damone turns around. His friend is preoccupied.
I am in love.
Damone takes a sip of his drink, looks at The Rat.
You... are a wuss. Part wimp. Part
What do you mean -- wuss? This girl
is my exact type. It's her.
It's definitely your mama.
Damone, you gotta listen to me.
Damone quits puttering around his room with the Kahlua and
milk. He grabs a chair and straddles it.
All right... where did you see her?
She's in my biology class.
Did you get her number?
Did you get her name?
No. It's too soon.
It's never too soon! Girls decide
how far to let you go in the first
Well, what do you want me to do? Go
up to this strange girl in my biology
class and say, 'Hello! I'd like you
to take your clothes off and jump on
I would. Yeah.
I can see it all now. This is going
to be just like the girl you fell in
love with at Fotomat this summer.
You bought forty bucks of fuckin'
film and you never even talked to
You tell me, Mike. What do I do?
(sighs, but loves it)
Here's what you do.
Damone gets up, moves to the door.
You start from the second you walk
into biology. Don't just walk...
move across the room.
He saunters over to the chair.
Don't talk to her. Let her know.
Use your face. Use your body. Use
everything. This is what I do. I
just sent out the vibe and I have
personally found that... girls do
respond. Something happens.
Of course something happens. You put
the vibe out to thirty million chicks,
you know something's gonna happen.
That's the idea, Rat. That's The
The Attitude? The Attitude dictates
that you don't care if she comes,
stays, lays or prays. Whatever
happens, your toes are still tappin'.
When you are the cruelest and the
coolest... then you have The Attitude.
Damone knocks down the rest of his drink, and we...
INT. CARL'S JR. KITCHEN - NIGHT
We see Brad operating at full throttle in the kitchen, and
taking a moment to sneak a kiss with his girlfriend Lisa as
she goes to the front counter to open up a cash register.
She allows him only one kiss.
Were those flowers really for me,
How much did they cost?
Don't worry about it.
She gives him a kiss... on the cheek.
Let's go to the Point tonight.
She pulls away.
What's there to do at the Point?
Brad shifts his weight, tries to find the right words.
What's there to do at the Point?
God, Lisa, we've been going together
almost two years, and...
Brad. I don't want to have to use
sex as a tool.
Tool? Tool for what? We've been going
together almost two years!
I don't want to talk about it here,
Brad prepares to respond. He squints his eyes, prepares for
a truly sizzling comeback, when Dennis Taylor, short and
prematurely balding assistant manager of Carl's Jr., comes
bustling out of his back office. He quickly surveys the
situation in the kitchen.
Hamilton! You have fifteen double
cheese to box!
Lisa returns to her cashier post, leaving Brad's last words
stalled in his mouth.
EXT. HAMILTON HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT
We see the Hamilton's cul-de-sac home. All the lights are
off in the house at this hour. Except for Brad's room.
INT. BRAD'S ROOM
Brad is alone in his room. He's prone on his neatly made
bed, reading a paperback book entitled Power With Class. On
the wall of Brad's room is a large framed photo of a Carl's
Brad hears a muffled knock at his door.
Come on in.
Stacy walks into Brad's room.
Thanks for getting rid of those
Don't worry about it. Who sent the
It's just some guy I met at Swenson's.
You don't know him.
I don't care it you tell me or not.
I got problems of my own.
He begins pacing.
Is everything okay at work?
Are you kidding? Work is great. I
kill at work. I don't even mind Mom
and Dad making me pay rent.
You're going to break up with Lisa,
I've been doing some thinking. It's
my last school year. I'm a single,
successful guy. I think I want my
Why? Because she won't sleep with
Where did you hear that?
I'm just guessing.
Well... it's true.
Maybe you just need to give her some
time. She's so nice, Brad. Everybody
Everybody loves Lisa. Everybody loves
Lisa. But everybody doesn't have to
be her boyfriend.
Suddenly, Stacy pops the question.
Hey, Brad. Are you still a virgin?
I don't know. I was just curious.
Maybe yes. Maybe no.
You are a virgin!
I didn't say that.
But your face did!
They laugh. Then Brad turns serious.
Are you still a virgin?
Maybe yes. Maybe no.
Don't give me that shit! I know you're
still a virgin!
Stacy smiles and stands up. She playfully slaps her brother
on the arm and walks down the hallway to her room. We can
see there is less frill and lace in Stacy's room. The junior
high paperbacks are gone. There are no dolls in sight.
EXT. MALL PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Linda and Stacy walk past rows of cars. Stacy stops at a
There... There's his car. I know
he's at work tonight. He hasn't come
into Swenson's since he called my
house. My mother told him I was still
at high school, after I told him I
was nineteen. I guess I should tell
him I'm fifteen.
Don't you dare, you'll never hear
from him again.
Does Doug care that you're seventeen?
Doug sees beyond that stuff to what
the person inside is like. That's
why I'm marrying him.
If he ever calls again I'll say I'm
Boy I am so glad to be through with
all these games.
They enter the mall.
INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - MORNING
We are now several weeks into the school year. Mr. Hand is
dropping test papers on desks like they are pieces of manure.
C... D... F... F... F... three weeks
we've been talking about the Platt
Amendment. What are you people? On
dope? A piece of legislation was
introduced into Congress by Senator
John Platt. It was passed in 1906.
This amendment to our Constitution
has a profound impact upon all of
our daily liv....
Mr. Hand stops on a dime. He is like a champion hunting dog
that has just picked up the scent. He scans the room.
Where is Jeff Spicoli?
There is silence in the U.S. history classroom.
I saw him earlier today near the 200
Building bathrooms. Is he still on
One student sitting next to Stacy raises his hand.
I saw him by the food machines.
How long ago?
Just before class, sir...
Mr. Hand snaps his fingers, Hawaii Five-O style.
Okay. Bring him in.
Desmond hustles out the door.
What is this fascination with truancy?
What is it that gets inside your
Mr. Hand begins to pace the aisles as he speaks.
Occasionally, for emphasis, he bends down to lecture directly
into the students' faces.
There are other teachers in this
school who look the other way at
(points to attendance
clip on the doorway)
It's a little game that you both
play. They pretend they don't see
you, you pretend you don't ditch.
Who pays the price later? You.
Desmond returns to the room with a red-eyed Jeff Spicoli.
Hey! Wait a minute! There's no
birthday party for me here!
Thank you, Desmond.
What's the reason for your truancy?
I couldn't make it in time.
(in top form)
You mean, you couldn't? Or you
I don't know, mon. The food lines
Food will be eaten on your time!
Why are you continuously late for
this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why do you
shamelessly waste my time like this?
I don't know.
Mr. Hand appears mesmerized. He then turns and heads for the
board. He writes in long, large letters as he slams the chalk
into the green board.
He writes: "I DON'T KNOW".
I like that.
He stands back and admires it. He turns randomly to Stacy.
Don't you like that, Miss Hamilton?
I really like that too. 'I don't
know'... that's nice. 'Mr. Hand,
will I pass this class?' 'Gee, Mr.
Spicoli, I don't know'. I like that.
I think I'm going to leave your words
on this board for all my classes to
enjoy. Giving you full credit, of
course, Mr. Spicoli.
We hear the blare of the dismissal bell. Stacy and the other
students get up to leave. Spicoli stays in place. He has
just figured out a truly bitchin' comeback... and his mouth
is forming the first word, when Mr. Hand cuts him off.
You can go now.
Hand turns back to his desk. The rest of the students have
already left. Spicoli's audience is gone. He shrugs and lopes
out the door.
INT. RIDGEMONT MALL - AFTERNOON
It's Christmas time at the Ridgemont Mall. All three tiers
are strung with neon lights, and we hear the sound of the
INT. SWENSON'S - AFTERNOON
Stacy and Linda are enjoying a brief lull in the Christmas
season madness. They sit at the sundae bar. Stacy looks
forlorn, almost red-eyed, as she makes a sundae.
You've got to get used to working
Christmas. People are always screaming
and yelling... then they get home
and they're all Christmasy.
I think Christmas brings out the
worst in people.
I guess Ron hasn't called yet.
Not since November.
Linda nods her head, always the coach.
Stacy, it doesn't look good for the
Stacy continues making her ice cream, slapping the scoops
onto the stainless steel dish.
Don't you think it meant anything to
him. Even if I am fifteen?
Stacy. What does it matter? He's a
stereo salesman. You want to marry
him? You want to have kids with him?
You want this guy to come home, fifty
years old, and he's still got that
little Pacific Stereo badge on? Come
ANGLE ON GREGG AND CINDY
who are seated at a back table, feeding each other.
Stacy looks at her finished sundae.
I should quit this job. I'm going to
get so fat working here... nobody
will ever take me out.
Stacy. How many times do I have to
tell you? You are really going to be
Thanks a lot.
Linda punches Stacy lightly on the shoulder.
Hey -- Ron Johnson? It's his loss.
We follow Stacy, as she walks into the dining room to serve
INT. WHEREHOUSE RECORDS - MALL - DAY
We see a group of buzz-cut young toughs, walking in formation,
hunched over, sneering and wearing sleeveless U.S. Army
fatigue jackets. None of these damaged-looking kids is over
the age of fourteen.
They pass to reveal this legend on their backs:
LINCOLN SURF NAZIS.
Angle on Mike Damone and Mark Ratner, who are standing by
the upcoming concert list posted on the door to Wherehouse
Records. Damone sees the Surf Nazis pass, turns to Mark
Ratner, who is still wearing his Cinema Four jacket.
The business is changing, Rat. I'll
tell you, these kids today... they
don't even listen to Aerosmith.
I hear they all dress like that at
There used to be three or four of
those guys. Now we see 'em every
time we come to the mall.
Damone is approached by a couple of young ticket Customers.
Got any Blue Oyster Cult tickets?
No Cult. I ate twenty-four pairs of
Blue Oyster Cult tickets last time
around. I was this close to working
at 7-11. No Cult.
Suddenly we see all ticket business stop. Damone and his
customers see someone menacingly coming directly for them.
The small crowd parts as Charles Jefferson, football duffel
bag in hand, walks up. With him is a thick, tough, miniature
version of himself. This is Little Charles. They both stop
in front of Damone.
(after long look)
When is Earth, Wind and Fire coming?
I'm really not sure. I haven't heard
anything yet, but I'll let you know
the second there is the slightest
I'm taking my little brother.
Excellent. So that will be two
tickets... All right. Fine, sir.
Jefferson and L.C. push past the customers.
Wow. He really lives here. I thought
he just flew in for the football
Shit, he's my man. He knows where to
come for tickets.
Damone turns to The Rat.
Well, Rat. Are you ready for the
moment of truth?
The Rat adjusts his jacket, and nods.
She is immune to my charms.
They walk together towards Swenson's, as The Rat drapes his
aqua-blue Cinema Four jacket around his shoulders, like a
French film director. Damone walks a few steps, then stops
Ace the jacket.
The Rat considers the suggestion, gets rid of the jacket.
They continue towards Swenson's.
EXT. SWENSON'S - DAY
The Rat pulls open the door to Swenson's. He walks toward
the counter to Stacy Hamilton.
Hi. May I help you?
The Rat feels the beginnings of cold panic, but barges through
Yes. I have two questions. I was
His voice becomes a shade deeper. He begins to pull The
What do you do with the jackets people
We keep them.
You keep them.
We keep them, in case the people
She reaches under the counter and pulls out a cardboard box
with some rumbled jackets and other items.
Here they are. You can look through
it, if you want.
The Rat chuckles to himself, struggling with The Attitude.
It's cool. It would take too much
time to go through all that stuff.
I'll just pick up a new one.
Stacy smiles. He's obviously awkward, and she likes it.
What's your other question?
My other question is... can-I-have
To The Rat's surprise, Stacy continues smiling.
Do you have a pen? This one's out of
He pulls one out of his jacket pocket, gives it to her. Stacy
writes her name and phone number on a scrap of paper and
gives it to him. The Rat looks at the paper.
Stacy. Nice to meet you, Stacy. My
name is Mark Ratner.
He sticks out his hand, and they shake. We see The Rat turn
around and walk out of Swenson's.
EXT. SWENSON'S - AFTERNOON
The Rat exits with ultimate cool. He sees Damone waiting
just off to the side, talking to some girls. The Rat nods,
gives him the thumbs-up. Damone returns the gesture. All-
EXT. CARL'S JR. - MORNING
Carl's is happening tonight. There are lots of kids inside.
We hear charging rock music -- "Girls Got Rhythm" by AC/DC --
coming from a radio in the back kitchen.
INT. CARL'S JR. BATHROOM - MORNING
Inside the bathroom, Brad Hamilton applies the Carl's scrub
brush to a felt tip graffiti message near the mirror: I EAT
BIG HAIRY PUSSY. He pauses and catches himself in the mirror.
He adjusts his hair.
(talking to mirror)
Lisa? I have something to tell you.
Look, I'm a senior now. I'm a single,
successful guy and I've got to be
fair to myself. Lisa... I think I
need my freedom.
Brad pauses, looks at the mirror soulfully.
Aw, don't do that... don't take it
personally, okay? Please? I knew
you'd understand, because...
The bathroom door opens -- it's Arnold, the boy who Brad got
Brad! I know you're on your break,
but would you cover me on register
Brad nods, exits:
INT. CARL'S JR. COUNTER
Brad stands at the register.
We see a prominent display over Brad's head: TRY OUR 100%
GUARANTEED BREAKFAST. The last of many harried businessmen
customers gets his breakfast order and takes his seat.
Brad is joined by Dennis Taylor, the Assistant Manager.
Come on. Clean that counter off Brad.
Let's go. Play ball.
Brad begins polishing the counter and Dennis Taylor returns
to his office at the back of the kitchen.
Brad watches him disappear behind the door that says:
As soon as Dennis disappears behind the door, the one
Businessman in the place rises and returns to the counter.
May I help you?
The Businessman has short, curly brown hair. He speaks in a
Yes. This is not the best breakfast
I ever ate.
The Businessman points to the huge display over Brad's head:
TRY OUR 100% GUARANTEED BREAKFAST.
And I want my money back.
Brad begins searching under the counter.
Well, I believe you have to fill out
a form. There's a pad right around
No. I want my money back right now.
Well, that's not the way it works,
really. And you ate most of your
food already, too...
See that sign? It says 100% Money
Back Guarantee. Do you know the
meaning of the word 'guarantee'? Do
they teach you that here? Give me my
Brad begins looking to the restroom. "Where's Arnold?"
I can't do that. But if you wait a
(as if talking to a
Look. Just put your little hand back
in the cash register and give me my
$2.75 back. Okay?
(looks at name tag)
I'm sorry, sir. Just let me find the
I am so tired. I am so tired of
dealing with morons. How hard is it
Brad looks up from under the counter. No amount of pay will
make him take that kind of insult.
Mister, if you don't shut up, I'm
gonna kick 100% of your ass.
"Bam!" The door to the Assistant Manager's office swings
open, and Dennis comes hurtling out of the back.
Can I help you, sir? Is there a
You bet there's a problem! Your
employee used profanity and threatened
me with violence! I'm shocked,
frankly. I've eaten here many times
and I've always enjoyed the service --
Angle on bathroom door as it opens and Arnold starts towards
the register. He quickly sees the incident with the irate
Businessman and ducks back inside the bathroom.
All I wanted was my money back for
this breakfast. It was a little
undercooked. And this young man
threatened me. Now I plan to write a
letter! I plan to...
Dennis wheels around to Brad.
Did you threaten this man or use
profanity in any way?
He insulted me first. He called me a
Did you threaten this customer or
use profanity in any way?
Brad looks around, expecting his friends to defend him. Dave
and Rich seem very occupied with their work. Brad is stunned.
I'm very sorry this happened to you,
Thank you very much.
Then Brad unhooks his fryer's apron and throws it on the
counter. He grabs a backpack and walks out of the place. On
the way, he bangs the bathroom door with his fist.
I hope you had a hell of a piss,
INT. BRAD'S ROOM - DAY
He arrives back in his room and locks the door. He yanks the
burger picture off his wall, dumps it into the trash. Then
he takes it back out of the trash and cracks the cardboard
picture and plastic frame in half.
We are in the middle of a deep, dark void. After a moment, a
pinprick of light appears in the distance. We head towards
the light. We are being led somewhere important.
As we draw still closer, curtains suddenly part to reveal a
wildly cheering studio audience. We hear the voice of Merv
MERV GRIFFIN (O.S.)
Will you please give a warm welcome
to... Jeff Spicoli!
The Merv Griffin Show band begins playing a Merv Griffin
Show version of AC/DC's "Highway to Hell". Someone hands
Jeff Spicoli a microphone. He works the studio audience into
a frenzy as he sings the words to "Highway to Hell": Merv
Griffin show style.
'Layin' ladies! Drinkin' wine! You
gotta dollar -- You're a friend of
mine! Gettin' loose! Feelin' fine!
You and me -- It's get down time!
We're on the Highway to Hell! The
Highway to Hell!'
Spicoli finishes up with a spectacular pump. The audience
goes wild as Merv Griffin greets him warmly, and guides
Spicoli to his seat. Spicoli motions for the cheers to die
down. Griffin is obviously happy to see him. He touches
Spicoli's arm lightly.
How've you been?
Outrageous, Merv. Nice to be here.
I feel great.
I was going to say... your eyes look
a little red.
I've been swimming, Merv.
The audience howls. It's a famous Spicoli line.
Seriously, Merv, everything is great.
I was thinking about picking up some
hash this weekend, maybe going up to
I wanted to talk a little bit about
school, if I could...
School is no problem. All you have
to do is go to get the grades. And
if you know something, all you have
to do is go about half the time.
How often do you go?
I don't go at all.
The audience is howling again. He is Merv's favorite guest.
I hear you brought a film clip with
you. Do you want to set it up for
Well, it pretty much speaks for
itself. Peter, you want to run with
EXT. A MASSIVE WAVE - DAY
The film clip begins. It is a mammoth wave cresting against
the blue sky.
Merv, this is the action down at
Sunset Cliffs at about six in the
A tiny figure appears at the foot of the wave.
That's me, Merv.
The audience gasps.
Are you going to ride that wave?
We watch as Spicoli catches the perfect wave, and it hurtles
him through a turquoise tube of water.
What's going through your mind right
here, Jeff? The danger of it all?
Merv, I'm thinking... I've only got
about four good hours of surfing
left before these little clowns from
junior high start showing up with
their boogie boards.
The audience is howling once again... when suddenly we hear
the loud noise of a door opening, followed by a shrill voice.
It is Spicoli's eight-year-old brother, Curtis.
Jeff Spicoli's dream of glory evaporates.
INT. SPICOLI'S TRAILER HOME - MORNING
It is a messy trailer, part of a trailer park by the sea.
Spicoli's area is small, but he has made it his own. The
walls are covered with posters, almost all of them naked
centerfolds. It is obvious Spicoli's parents are not welcome
in his room.
Dad says you have to get up!
He groans, starts to struggle out of bed.
Leave me alone!
Dad says you're late again, you
Leave me alone.
Spicoli reaches over to the floor next to his bed. He pulls
a snorkel from the mess, heaves it at the door and his little
brother. It bounces off the wall and doesn't even hit Curtis,
but the kid starts crying anyway.
Daaaaaaaad! Jeff threw a snorkel at
Spicoli gets out of bed, groans again, and kicks the door
EXT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM
celebrating the big game with rival Lincoln High School. We
see Jeff Spicoli stumble from the direction of the parking
lot. He heads into the gym, which is already full for a
INT. GYMNASIUM - DOORWAY - DAY
Spicoli wanders into the assembly, takes a seat on a corner
bleacher. He sits just below Brad Hamilton and Lisa.
On podium in front of assembly, Cindy Carr and another
cheerleader, Dina Phillips, are making a presentation before
I just want to say that we are not
'Spirit Bunnies' anymore. We always
hated that name. It bugged the heck
out of Dina and me...
It's just such a put down.
They don't call the Chess Club
'Checker Champs' or anything like
that. We're going to go to everything
this year, you guys. We're going to
go to soccer, wrestling, basketball...
everything. We know you've got a lot
of spirit! Everybody -- riiiiiight?
And we're gonna destroy Lincoln next
ANGLE ON THE STUDENTS OF RIDGEMONT
They don't respond.
ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI
who is asleep in the bleachers.
ANGLE ON BRAD AND LISA
sitting nearby. We hear them over the drone of the assembly.
Man, I don't even want to see those
guys from Carl's again.
If you'd apologize I think Dennis
would take you back.
Apologize to that wimp? No way.
Fuck Dennis Taylor.
They sit in silence for a moment.
I'm just glad we're still together,
Lisa, because I need you this year.
Look, Brad, I've been trying to think
of a way to tell you this. We're
almost out of high school, this is
our last year. I think we owe it to
ourselves to be free, and meet some
new people. Then, if we get back
together, we'll know it's the right
TIGHT ANGLE ON BRAD'S FACE
as he accepts the news.
But I still want to be friends.
TIGHT ANGLE ON BRAD'S FACE
as it falls slack.
INT. GYM - PODIUM IN FRONT OF ASSEMBLY
We're going to be going to every
game this year. We just want the
crowd to participate and we want
spirit from every little person in
this entire school. Allll-Riiiight?
There is unenthusiastic, minor applause from the assembled
students of Ridgemont High. Vice Principal Ray Connors, a
tough-looking man with an H.R. Haldeman crew cut, approaches
the podium. He has a sour look on his face.
Well, thank you, girls. People, don't
forget, the big game is one week
away. We'll see everybody back here
on Monday and have a good weekend.
For the first time during this assembly, there is a loud and
GRAINY HIGH SCHOOL FILM
We are suddenly watching a movie shown on a class projection
screen. We see footage of a serene, middle-class neighborhood --
as seen through the glass windshield of a car. Judging from
the other vehicles parked on the street, the film is from
the early Sixties. We hear the narrative voice of Desi Arnaz,
speaking in his inimitable Latin accent.
Driving ess an important part of
each and every one of our da-ily
lives. Ees a responsibility like no
o-ther and ess a matter of life and...
A ball comes rolling out into the serene street. A small
child runs out after it. The driving of our vehicle brakes,
but not in time. The film freeze frames on the terrified
face of a child about to be splattered.
There is a swell of dramatic music.
They have foun'... The Braking Point.
The words flash on the screen and we hear a high school
Driver's Training class groan in mock horror.
INT. DRIVER TRAINING CLASS - DAY
ANGLE ON CHARLES JEFFERSON AND BRAD HAMILTON
who are seated in this class.
ANGLE ON LINDA AND STACY
sitting together in the class. They are oblivious, lost in
What do you think of that guy who
works at the theatre? You know, Mark
Oh, come on. What is he? Fifteen?
Linda looks nauseous.
Just watch out if he pulls up in a
van, and then puts on a Led Zeppelin
INT. DRIVER TRAINING CLASS
The film returns to another serene street scene as seen
through another front windshield.
The driver here has had jus' two
drinks. Two drinks at the home of a
We hear the very-present sounds of Driver's Training students.
He's fucked-up, Ricky!
They guys a drunk, Ricky!
And although this driver thinks he
ees drivin' well, he may be 'doing
okay, but he forgets to per-ceive
what ees real goin' on...
In the film, another car comes barreling from the left,
running a stop sign and exploding into the side of the two-
drink goner. In the class, the Driver's Training students
EXT. RIDGEMONT MALL - EARLY EVENING
The parking lot is full. Kids and shoppers stream through
the entrance in groups of all sizes.
INT. RIDGEMONT MALL
All three levels are teeming with kids.
ANGLE ON THE VIDEO PINBALL ARCADE
where we see Jeff Spicoli manning the Missile Command machine.
Spicoli wears a red bandana across his forehead. A cigarette
dangles from his mouth. He is surrounded by a fleet of young
surfers who listen to him with reverence.
Be noble. Be aggressive. The thing
about Missile Command is to decimate
before you can be decimated. Just
like in real life.
The youngsters hang on every word of the sage advice.
ANGLE ON A GANG OF SURF NAZIS
walking in formation.
ANGLE ON MIKE DAMONE AND MARK RATNER
walking the mall.
Check it out, Rat. The Surf Nazis...
out for a Sunday stroll.
Damone and The Rat walk on. The Rat is barely interested. He
appears deep in thought.
What do I say after she gets in the
Damone, obviously in his element here at the mall, stops to
flash a winning smile at a well-built older housewife.
No problem, Rat. What you need is my
special Five Point Plan.
As he talks, Damone passes a Country Farms shop. He plucks a
free sample of cheese and sausage.
Knock it off, Damone. I need real
What do you mean? Men have died trying
to obtain this information. I will
give it to you for free.
The Rat and Damone continue on.
Okay. Tell me. What's the Five Point
All right. Pay attention.
The Rat nods, always the student, as they pass a Wherehouse
Record store. Damone stops right in front of a seductively
posed life-sized cardboard stand-up of Debbie Harry, the
alluring rock singer.
Damone begins his speech.
First of all, Rat... never let on
how much you like a girl.
Damone turns to the cardboard cutout of Debbie Harry to
(turns back to The
Two. Always call the shots.
He turns to Debbie Harry, who looks on with an inviting
(to The Rat)
Three. Act like wherever you are,
that's the place to be.
(to Debbie Harry;
Isn't this great?
(to The Rat)
Four. When ordering food, find out
what she wants and then order for
both of you... it's a classy move.
(to Debbie Harry;
And the lady will have...
(to The Rat)
Five. And this is most important.
When you get down to making out,
whenever possible, put on the first
side of Led Zeppelin IV.
(to Debbie Harry;
Why don't you put this tape on? It
sounds great in the back of my van...
why don't we listen from there?
ANGLE ON DEBBIE HARRY
with the same inviting smile.
And that is how you talk to a girl,
Rat. Voila. You can't miss.
I think I've got it. Once I get going,
I'll be okay. But... how do I get
started? I mean, I hardly know her.
You wuss. It's no problem. One person
says something to the other and that's
how it starts...
Standing there in the front of the Wherehouse, The Rat nods
his head and smiles. He's finally beginning to understand,
EXT. THE RAT'S CAR - LATER THAT NIGHT
We see The Rat behind the wheel of a green Volvo. Stacy sits
beside him. They are driving the streets of Ridgemont.
INT. THE RAT'S CAR
This is it. The Big Date. "Led Zeppelin IV" is on the car
stereo of his sister's van.
Thanks for coming to get me.
EXT. THE RAT'S CAR
He rounds the corner of Luna Street, off the neon fast-food
stand that is Ridgemont Drive.
INT. THE RAT'S CAR
Yet another silence has fallen. Then, after a time...
This is a nice car.
Yeah. It's my sister's.
Do you have Mrs. George for English?
Yeah. She is pretty good.
Yeah. She is pretty good.
EXT. ATLANTIS RESTAURANT - NIGHT
They pull into the parking lot of a steak and lobster house
called The Atlantis.
Joey at Cinema Four said this is a
pretty good restaurant.
I've heard that, too.
The Rat finds a parking spot near the back of the lot,
grateful that the long silence is over. He walks with Stacy
to the front of The Atlantis.
INT. THE ATLANTIS - NIGHT
The Rat and Stacy are escorted by the host to a nearby table.
They are given large wooden menus.
Do you know what you want?
I think I'll have the Seafood Salad
The Rat leans back in the booth. He is starting to feel in
control now. Then something hits him. The panic sweeps across
Slowly, The Rat reaches back to check his wallet.
Are you all right?
Cool. Cool was the name of the game. Stay cool.
Do you mind if I excuse myself for a
Not at all.
Just as The Rat is about to get up, the Waitress approaches
Are you ready to order here?
(settles back down)
She will have the Seafood Salad
Special. And I will have... the same.
Anything to drink?
The Rat gets back up again, looking paler by the minute. He
excuses himself and walks over to the pay phone by the
The Rat dials a number. Damone answers.
INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - NIGHT
He is sitting in a chair, leaning onto the back two legs,
THE RAT (V.O.)
Damone. It's Mark.
Mark. What happened to your date?
It's happening right now. I'm here
at the Atlantis. Everything's fine
except... I left my wallet at home.
Did you go home and get it?
No. It's too late. The food is coming
and everything. Damone, I've got to
ask you this favor, and I'll never
ask you for anything again in this
lifetime or any other. Will you please
borrow your mom's car, go by my house,
get my wallet, and meet me back here?
There is silence.
Damone, are you there?
I'm really pretty busy...
ANGLE ON DAMONE'S TELEVISION
as we see the flickering images of Leave It To Beaver.
You owe me for this one.
The Rat hangs up, mildly relieved, and returns to the table.
INT. STACY AND THE RAT'S TABLE - AN HOUR LATER
The Rat and Stacy have finished the meal, and desert.
ANGLE ON THE CHECK
as it sits in a little tray before The Rat.
The Waitress approaches the table. It is clear she wants to
make room for other customers and bigger tips.
Are you sure there's nothing else I
can bring you?
I'll have one more Coke... Do you
want another Coke, Stacy?
Sure. I'll... have another Coke.
Two more Cokes.
Two... more... Cokes.
ANGLE ON FRONT DOOR
as Mike Damone finally walks in. Damone looks over the diners,
then feigns great surprise when he sees The Rat.
Hey, Mark. Is that you?
Damone! You come here?
I come for the seafood. It's great!
Hey... you know what, Mark? I found
your wallet the other day. You want
Wow. I've been looking for that thing!
Hey, Damone, have you met Stacy
Hamilton? Stacy, this is Mike Damone.
Stacy smiles politely, with the slightest sparkle in her
eye, as the Waitress returns with the two Cokes.
Well, I've gotta be running.
Okay. See ya.
ANGLE ON STACY
looking strangely at the proceedings.
Nice to meet you, Stacy.
Nice to meet you.
Damone leaves. The Rat takes a few quick gulps of Coke, and
gets up to pay the bill. As he moves out of camera range, we
see the strange look on the faces of waitresses and diners.
INT. THE RAT'S CAR - LATE EVENING
The Rat pulls up to Stacy's house in the cul-de sac. He stares
straight ahead, like a zombie.
I had a really nice time tonight.
Me, too. I'm real sorry someone broke
in and stole your tape deck.
The Rat nods glumly.
I never thought it would happen at
The Atlantis. Jeez.
Do you want to come inside?
Aren't your parents asleep?
No, they're away for the weekend.
Brad and I are watching the house.
Okay. Sure. I'll come in.
We see a confused but interested look on The Rat's face.
INT. THE HAMILTON HOUSE - EVENING
They walk in the front door. The Rat stands uncomfortably in
the doorway to the living room.
Where's your brother?
I don't know. Probably out. Want
something to drink?
No. That's okay.
Well, I'm going to change real quick.
I hope you don't mind.
Naw. I don't mind.
Stacy turns her back and pulls up her hair.
Will you unzip me?
ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE
as the wheels inside his mind start to spin. This can't be
what it seems. He unzips Stacy, past her bra, down to the
small of her back. It's the first time he's ever done anything
She walks down the hall to her room, easing out of her dress
as she walks. She leaves the door to her room open.
You can come in, if you want!
ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE
He is completely unsure of himself, as he begins to walk
down the hall. His heart pounds into his throat. He turns
the corner and steps into Stacy's room.
INT. STACY'S ROOM - NIGHT
Stacy stands there, looking gorgeous in an almost see-through
white robe. The Rat pretends not to notice.
So... pretty nice house you've got
(puts hands on hips)
What do you want to do?
ANGLE ON THE RAT'S FACE
as he struggles with the memory of Damone's words.
"Always call the shots."
I don't know.
Do you want to see some pictures? I
kept a lot of scrapbooks and pictures
and stuff from junior high. How
Stacy goes to her closet, reaches up to grab the books from
the top shelf. The Rat watches her robe slip up her legs.
Then she sits down next to him. Her knee grazes his. It is
almost too much for The Rat. Go for it. We see The Rat
struggle with the action of putting his arm around her. He
almost does, but then reacts as she says suddenly...
This is me in the eighth grade. Did
you have Mr. Deegan?
Oh, yeah. I had Mr. Deegan.
Her knee grazes him again. Does she expect something?
Look, Stacy, I want you to know
The Rat struggles. Try as he might, he can't seem to cross
the line. He can't make his move. He is woeful as he completes
...I've got to go home.
Do you really have to go?
Well... it's getting kind of late.
Suddenly, The Rat is seized with ambition. He reaches one
hand around her right shoulder and plants the other hand
directly on her left breast.
It looks something like a wrestling hold. The Rat looks at
Stacy. Stacy looks back at The Rat. The Rat is absolutely
I guess it is getting late, Mark.
She shrugs him off, walks him to the door.
EXT. THE HAMILTON HOME - NIGHT
We see The Rat's forlorn face as he trudges towards his car.
He stops. He takes a breath -- it wasn't that late, he really
didn't want to leave. The Rat turns and begins walking back
up the Hamilton steps. Just as he does so, Stacy's bedroom
light clicks off. It was too late. He kicks at his car.
You blew it, asshole.
Behind him, recklessly speeding towards Ridgemont Drive, is
Charles Jefferson's blue Mustang.
EXT./INT. THE BLUE MUSTANG - NIGHT
Jeff Spicoli is behind the wheel. Sitting next to him is
Little Charles, "L.C.", Jefferson's younger brother. They're
smoking grass and holding Lowenbrau beers in between their
legs. The radio is blasting the music of Rick James.
Hey, slow down. This is my brother's
I thought he was out of town.
Then don't hassle it.
They speed off down Ridgemont.
Seen the new Playboy?
Naw. Any good?
Suzanne Somers' tits.
I like sex.
Spicoli sees something in the rearview mirror.
Hold your beer down, L.C., I think
it's a cop.
Spicoli slows down. The car behind him slows down.
This is a cop. He's definitely
cruising me at busting distance.
The high beams switch on behind Spicoli.
What the fuck is this guy doing?
The car behind Spicoli then advances to the point where it
is now almost touching the blue Mustang.
What the fuck is this guy doing?
This ain't no cop.
The mystery car bumps them lightly from behind.
Hey! He's gonna scratch my brother's
The two boys start yelling. High beams fill the Mustang with
bright light and...
EXT./INT. MUSTANG AND GRANADA
Then mystery car pulls back, then up alongside Spicoli and
L.C. on the left. We hear the music on the radio of George
Thoroughgood's "Ride On, Josephine".
It's a bunch of Jocks in a Granada!
They're fuckin' with us.
The drivers of the two cars eye each others. Then the Granada
begins inching over, trying to force Spicoli off the road.
My brother's car!
All right. Die, Granada Jocks!
Spicoli guns ahead, in a real bullet move, and easily
overtakes the Granada. Spicoli is proud of himself. He checks
himself out in the rearview and turns to L.C.
Would you roll your window up, L.C.?
It's messing my hair.
Spicoli pulls way ahead of the Granada, while L.C. rolls his
window up. Spicoli looks over to L.C. and smiles wickedly.
Now Spicoli wants to show off. He pushes the pedal to the
We just missed the turnoff to the
You know the thing I love about
Mustangs? The steering wheel.
Spicoli fingers the bubbles in the wheel.
With a genuine Mustang steering wheel,
you can negotiate a hairpin turn
with ease, my man.
on the word "ease", Spicoli curls his finger into one of the
Mustang steering wheel bubbles and whips it clockwise. The
idea is to turn off onto a side street and head back to the
party. But instead, at the moment of the hairpin turn, L.C.
is attempting to switch the radio station. Spicoli crooks
his finger farther into the bubble than he expected. The
car swings in a complete circle, a circle that includes a
bright yellow fire hydrant. The hydrant rips the side of the
car open like a can of tuna.
There is a silent moment of terror.
Are you okay?
There is silence. Outside the smashed car, the Granada Jocks
pass Spicoli and L.C.
Then L.C. stirs and utters his first words.
My brother is going to kill us. He's
gonna kill you and then he's gonna
kill me. He's gonna kill us.
Just be glad you're all right.
My brother is gonna shit.
Make up your mind. Is he gonna shit,
or is he gonna kill us?
First he's gonna shit. And then he's
gonna kill us.
Will you just relax, mon? He's not
gonna kill us. My father is a
television repairman. He's got all
kinds of tools. I can fix-this car.
You can't fix this car, Spicoli.
ANGLE ON THE BLUE MUSTANG
waffled and mangled. It is just inches away from scrap iron.
I can fix it.
MONTAGE OF SHOTS
as we see Ridgemont High gearing up for its big Homecoming
Game against Lincoln. We see a series of shots of kids talking
about it, wagering on the chances of a Ridgemont victory. We
see the many signs and placards all over school, proclaiming
Ridgemont revenge. We see students lining up to vote for
Homecoming King and Queen in the gymnasium. It is the most
spirit that Ridgemont has shown this year.
EXT. RIDGEMONT SCHOOL - FLAGPOLE - DAY
From the back of the parking lot, we see a crowd around the
flagpole. A group of kids are staring at something. They
sadly shake their heads at the sight, as if they are
witnessing a funeral.
As we draw closer, we see the center of commotion. It is an
ugly sight. Someone had wrecked Charles Jefferson's Blue
Scholarship Mustang and welded it to the flagpole. Spray-
painted on the side was the message: LINCOLN SURF PUNKS RULE.
EXT. RIDGEMONT BLEACHERS - NIGHT
The Ridgemont football bleachers are full of cheering
students. We see the same basic groups from lunch court, and
The cheerleaders are on the field -- Cindy Carr, Dina Phillips
and company -- and their cheerleader "husbands" sit directly
in front of them in the stands. Linda and Stacy sit in the
bleachers with some of the Swenson's girls. The Rat and Damone
sit several rows above them, watching. The teachers sit
together in another section.
ANGLE ON BRAD HAMILTON
who is again sitting alone in the bleachers.
Watching. Several old lunch court friends pass by, on their
way to the concession area.
Hey, Brad! How's going?
Where you working?
Fish and chips place.
Just a fish and chips place.
Brad says nothing more. The students look at each other.
We'll be seeing you, Brad!
EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - THE GAME - NIGHT
Everyone is cheering the amazing game on the field.
Charles Jefferson is poised on the offensive line.
He mutters a string of obscenities at the opposing Lincoln
player. The ball is snapped, and Charles Jefferson comes
directly at the player with both elbows up and angled to hit
inside his helmet. The Lincoln player is hit and keels over.
Charles Jefferson sets up for another play. The ball is
snapped. Ka-boom. Down falls another Lincoln player. Jefferson
doesn't know who it was who wrecked his Mustang, but he wasn't
about to spare any of them. There is pure madness in his
eyes. It has taken him over.
The Ridgemont points rack up. Jefferson is single handedly
maiming Lincoln for Homecoming.
EXT. RIDGEMONT BLEACHERS - NIGHT
We see Jeff Spicoli and L.C. sitting calmly in the bleachers,
I think we may have gotten away clean.
EXT. FIELD AND SCOREBOARD
The half-time gun fires and the score is 36-7...
Ridgemont. Even the Ridgemont players steer clear of Charles
Jefferson as they return to their locker room.
EXT. THE HAMILTON POOL - HOT AFTERNOON - SEVERAL
Linda and Stacy are sitting by the pool, dressed in string
tie bathing suits. They are listening to the music of Tom
Petty's "Breakdown" playing on the living room stereo. Linda
luxuriously applies suntan lotion to her chest and legs, in
long and writhing strokes. Stacy reads a book. It's called
Total Orgasm. Several beats pass.
I sent a letter to Doug today. I'll
be so glad when he gets out here.
(engrossed in book)
You really ought to look at this,
Linda. There's a drawing on every
page... and all these quizzes. It's
Why don't you put your mother's secret
Linda continues regally applying lotion.
Listen to this... 'What are your
mate's three most erogenous zones?'
Okay, penis, that's one, balls...
Wouldn't penis and balls be the same
You're right. Probably penis, mouth
All right! Here's another one. 'The
most satisfactory lovemaking occurs
when your mate climaxes first, you
climax first, you and your mate climax
Does that ever happen?
No. But it's a nice idea.
Listen to this... it says 'Most women
derive pleasure from sex, but they
don't have real orgasms.'
Linda stops applying lotion, considers that thought.
Well... they obviously don't know
They laugh. Linda resumes applying the lotion.
Stacy continues reading the book. A couple of beats pass.
How long does Doug take?
I don't know. Thirty to forty minutes.
What's Doug do in Chicago?
He works for the airline. He'll be
out here. You'll meet him.
Stacy looks at Linda, almost disbelieving.
He's no high school boy.
There is a noise by the side fence leading into the Hamiltons'
backyard. It is Mark Ratner and Mike Damone. They are already
Hey! We came over to help you with
Really. We figured you needed the
help. On such a hot day.
Stacy quickly stashes the book in a stack of towels beside
her. She leans over to Linda and speaks confidentially.
What do you think?
I think they're both virgins.
Stacy smiles, gets up and goes over to the fence.
I didn't ask for any help. Did you,
Well, that's exactly why I brought
some Wisk for the jacuzzi.
O-kay, you guys can come swimming.
But you have to leave as soon as my
Mom gets home. Okay?
EXT. HAMILTON POOL
Mike Damone yells "banzai!" and dives into the small pool.
At one end of the pool is the jacuzzi, which is separated by
a tile wall. Damone has already poured the Wisk into the
jacuzzi, and the detergent has created a huge bubble bath
effect. Damone surfaces and flips into the jacuzzi.
Stacy, looking great in a green bikini, sits kicking her
legs by the side of the pool. Linda stands on the board. She
is poised to dive. The Rat treads water and stares at both
girls. Inside the Hamilton living room, the family stereo
plays the music of Deep Purple's "Woman From Tokyo".
Hey, Linda! I'll judge your dive.
I'm a champion diver myself.
Brad arrives home by the side gate and slams it behind him.
He is home from a bad day at work. He walks out onto the
patio and stands with his hands on his hips. For the first
time, our former campus hero looks absurd. He is still in
his uniform from Captain Kidd Fish and Chips -- it is a blue
and white striped Pirates of the Caribbean outfit, complete
with black plastic sword at the side, and a ridiculously
large Ponce de Leon-esque hat. Brad carries the hat under
Does Mom know you have company?
It's just Linda. And Mark from school.
Brad ignores the underclassmen, and notices Linda on the
board in her maroon bikini. He smiles.
Well, you guys, keep it down. I've
got some work to do upstairs.
Brad turns and heads back inside. He is just out of earshot
when they begin talking about him.
God, he hardly even talks anymore.
I know. He hates to have to wear
Stacy breaks the spell by jumping into the water, surfacing,
and flipping over the tile wall into the Jacuzzi. She sits
next to Damone, looking mischievous.
ANGLE ON DAMONE AND STACY IN THE JACUZZI
talking while the others are at the other end of the pool.
ANGLE ON THE RAT
casually catching sight of them together from the other side
of the pool. We can read the emotions on The Rat's face. He
is still taken with Stacy, but his big moment for her appears
to have passed.
ANGLE ON DAMONE AND STACY IN THE JACUZZI
as they talk.
Underneath the water, her leg accidentally knocks against
his. Then he feels her continue. Damone feels Stacy's cool
hand on his inner thigh. Moving upwards, stopping just short
of the bulge in his trunks.
ANGLE ON DAMONE'S FACE
as it loosens and quivers just the slightest bit. This is
uncharted territory, even for Mr. Attitude.
ANGLE ON LINDA
who is now sunning herself by the side of the pool.
She rubs her legs against each other, slowly, enjoying the
EXT. BRAD'S WINDOW - ANGLE ON BRAD
who is watching Linda from the window in his room.
We see him from behind, peeking out the curtains.
EXT. POOL - ANGLE ON LINDA
who smiles at Damone and flips back into the pool with a
splash. Damone steals a look down at his swimsuit. He's popped
a big one.
Why don't you get up and do a dive,
ANGLE ON DAMONE'S FACE
and we know he can't get out of the water yet.
No. I don't think so. Not right now.
Linda, for one, loses interest quickly. Standing by the side
of the pool, she jams a finger in her ear and wiggles it.
Stacy! I've got water in my ears.
Do you have any Q-Tips?
God, I don't think so. Better look
in the house.
Linda towels off and heads back inside the Hamilton house.
She knows how to walk.
INT. BRAD'S BEDROOM AND BATHROOM - AFTERNOON
We see Brad's room. The Carl's burger picture on the wall is
conspicuously missing. There is music playing from his stereo --
Pink Floyd's "You and Me".
We see Brad. He is kneeling on the bathroom floor, his back
to us. His green T-shirt is on, his underwear in a pile on
the floor behind him. His arm is pumping slowly. Brad is
EXT. HAMILTON POOL - BRAD'S DAYDREAM
It features Linda Barrett, just as she stood on the diving
board a moment ago. She is gorgeous. Her breasts seem even
bigger than usual. Her nipples are hard, poking through the
film maroon string bikini. Water rolls slowly down her cheeks,
into the corners of her mouth. Her lips are parted slightly.
Her eyes are filled with desire as she says...
You know how cute I always thought
you were. I think you're so sexy.
Will you come to me?
ANGLE ON BRAD IN DAYDREAM
in a nice shirt, his hair combed back and looking great. He
walks to Linda. She reaches out and grabs him for a kiss,
pulling him close. Then she pushes him away, so he can watch
as she carefully unstraps the top of her bathing suit. The
incredible Linda Barrett's breasts fall loose.
She takes Brad's hands and places them on her, as she begins
unbuttoning his shirt. They are just about to fall into
passionate lovemaking when we hear...
Hey, Brad! Do you have any Q-Ti...
The daydream evaporates and we see real life again with an...
INT. BRAD'S BATHROOM - ANGLE ON LINDA'S FACE
in the doorway of Brad's bathroom as she watches the sight
ANGLE ON BRAD
trying to cover himself and act nonchalant and keep his back
turned at the same time. The words barely escape his mouth.
Wait just a... minute.
Sorry. I didn't know anybody was in
Linda turns and goes immediately, as if she wants to forget
what she saw as quickly as possible. She closes the door
ANGLE ON BRAD
still kneeling. It had all happened so quickly, so fast
Doesn't anybody fuckin' knock anymore?
He slams the toilet seat down and we...
INT. U.S. HISTORY CLASS - DAY
The third attendance bell rings, and Mr. Hand strides to the
front of the class. He locks the door. Then he takes the
front of the class and notices something very different.
ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI
bright and clear-eyed, sitting in the front row. His hands
are clasped in front of him on the desk.
His textbook is open to the proper page.
Mr. Hand is suspicious, but continues with class.
Now in 1898, Spain owned Cuba.
Outright. Think about it. Cuba, owned
by a disorganized parliament 4,000
miles away. Cubans were in a constant
state of revolt.
Mr. Hand begins pacing the aisles as he talks.
In 1904, the United States decided
to throw a little weight around,
There is a brief, sharp knock at the door. Mr. Hand whips
his head around, like McGarrett. He approaches the door like
Who is it?
Mr. Pizza, sir!
Hand swings the door open, out of curiosity. In walks a young
Man in a Mr. Pizza delivery shirt.
Okay, who had the double cheese
sausage and bologna?
Jeff Spicoli speaks up.
The Delivery Man takes the pizza, sets it on the desk, as
Spicoli whips out some crumpled dollars. Then he produces
yet another crumpled dollar, and presses it into the Delivery
For you, my man.
The Delivery Man thanks him warmly, just as Mr. Hand rages
into the picture.
Am I hallucinating here? Just what
in the hell do you think you're doing?
Learning about Cuba. Having some
Mr. Spicoli, you're on dangerous
ground here. You're causing a major
disturbance in my class and on my
(cool and urbane)
I've been thinking about this, Mr.
Hand. If I'm here... and you're
here... doesn't that make it our
Mr. Hand is so furious he's almost shaking.
So I thought I'd order us a pizza.
Just leave me a lot of bologna...
Mr. Hand snatches up the pizza, and starts to throw it in
the wastebasket. Then he thinks better, and heads for the
door. He opens it just as a gang of young Stoners walk past.
There's the pizza.
Mr. Hand pushes the pizza into their hands and slams the
You better save some for me, you
And you, my friend. I'll see you for
a two-hour detention every afternoon
Spicoli eases back in his chair, shrugs. It was a good idea
at the time.
INT. CAPTAIN KIDD FISH AND CHIPS - DAY
Brad Hamilton, looks terribly uncomfortable in his Ponce de
Leon hat and buccaneer uniform. He rings up an order for an
Why aren't you in school, son?
I go to school in the mornings. I
have a work study program for the
He bags one final coffee and punches up the amount.
Here you go. I have it exactly.
(sets money down)
Thank you, and thanks for coming to
Brad loosens his buccaneer scarf, and starts back towards
the kitchen. He is stopped by the sudden appearance of Captain
Kidd Assistant Manager, Harold.
Hamilton! I'll take over the fryer.
Those boys at IBM need some Catch of-
the-Day boxes, and I told them you
would personally deliver them within
the hour. I'll reimburse you for
Brad dutifully unhooks his apron, to reveal the bottom half
of his pirate suit.
Just write me out a bill.
While Harold leans down to tally up the fish order, Brad
goes to a nearby employee's closet. He has completely
perfected the art of changing back into his street clothes,
and it takes less than a minute. He is just about to finish
buttoning his street shirt when Harold sees him.
Hamilton, come over here. What is
that you've got on?
This is how I dress all the time.
But you took off your Captain Kidd
I thought I'd take it off for the
drive over to IBM. It's kind of
Harold can barely fathom the idea.
Come on, Hamilton. You're going over
there to represent Captain Kidd Fish
and Chips. We have stores all over
Southern California. Part of our
image, part of our appeal is in our
uniforms. You know that!
You really want me to put all this
stuff back on?
Yes. I think so. Show some pride,
ANGLE ON BRAD
as he stands there, stoic looking.
I don't believe you're asking me to
do this, but okay.
He begins taking off his street shirt. He looks at Harold,
looks at the boxes, and returns to the closet.
INT. THE CRUISING VESSEL
Brad is driving down the freeway, listening to the music of
Bruce Springsteen's "Out in the Streets." He pries open one
of the fourteen Catch-of-the-Day boxes on the seat next to
him and pulls out a small piece of fried fish. Brad takes a
bite. The look on his face says it is the worst piece of
shit he has ever tasted. He throws the piece out the window,
and drives on.
Brad turns to see a girl smiling at him from another car. It
makes his afternoon. He returns the smile with gusto.
ANGLE ON THE GIRL
as she bursts out laughing and drives away.
ANGLE ON BRAD
looking perplexed. Then he realizes that he hasn't taken his
Ponce de Leon hat off. Brad drives on.
A SERIES OF ANGLES ON BRAD'S CAR
as we see the Cruising Vessel move down the highway. We see
the Captain Kidd hat go flying out the window. Then the
plastic sword, and the scarf.
Then a couple boxes of Captain Kidd fish. Then the rest of
them. We see Brad rip past the IBM Building.
EXT. RIDGEMONT HIGH SCHOOL - AFTERNOON
School is out and kids are leaving campus, heading for the
parking lot and bus stop. We see Mike Damone carrying some
books, walking towards Ridgemont Drive. He is joined by Stacy
Hamilton, who hurries to catch up to him.
I can't wait until I can drive next
year. I walk every day. It's such a
Get a ride with somebody.
Sometimes I get a ride with my
brother. But he usually works in the
mornings, and then drives to school
What a guy.
Damone turns to her after a moment, all Attitude.
You know Mark Ratner really likes
you. You like him?
Mark is a really nice boy...
Stacy walks along, then stops and looks at Damone.
But I think I like you.
They turn the corner.
EXT. HAMILTON HOME
They have arrived at Stacy's house. There are no cars parked
out front. No one is home.
Do you want to come in for a second?
The Attitude starts to weaken. After a long pause, Damone
Do you have any ice tea?
Sure. Come on in.
Stacy unlocks her front door, they go inside.
INT. HAMILTON KITCHEN
Damone stands in the white linoleum Hamilton kitchen. Stacy
opens the refrigerator door.
I guess the annuals are coming in
pretty soon. Are you going to get
I don't know.
Aren't you curious to see how your
class picture turned out?
I know what I look like.
Stacy places a glass of ice tea in front of him. They are
all alone in the house.
Do you want to take a quick swim?
Brad probably has some trunks you
can borrow... I'm going to my room
Damone stares straight ahead. She's going to her room to
change. Stacy scoots down the hall toward her bedroom.
This is great ice tea!
INT. STACY'S ROOM - ANGLE ON STACY IN HER ROOM
In the middle of changing, she has caught her own reflection
in the mirror. She pauses a moment, looking at the young
girl looking back.
INT. KITCHEN - ANGLE ON DAMONE IN THE KITCHEN
He continues staring straight ahead.
(from other room)
You don't have to shout! You can
come back here to my room!
Damone doesn't move. He pretends he doesn't hear. A moment
later, Stacy comes bounding back down the hall in her green
bikini. She grabs Damone by the arm.
Come with me! I know there's a suit
in the changing room!
She pulls him away.
INT. THE CHANGING ROOM
They enter the wood-panelled changing room next to the
Hamilton pool. There are two swimsuits hanging from wooden
Pick a suit.
I don't know. It's getting pretty
She locks the door to the changing room and begins to walk
towards Mike Damone.
Are you really a virgin?
He could feel his leg starting to shake the slightest bit.
It's okay if it's your first time.
She gives him a kiss.
Listen. I feel pretty strange here.
Because Mark really likes you, and
he's my friend.
He's my friend, too.
She gives him another kiss. He kisses her in return. Standing
there, feeling Stacy in her bikini, feeling her kiss him,
Damone also felt some of his reservations slip away.
You're a really good kisser.
So are you.
Are you shaking?
No. Are you crazy?
It is clear that this is as far as Mr. Attitude has ever
gotten with a girl. Stacy takes the initiative, rubbing her
hands through his hair, rubbing his sides, kissing his neck,
then pulling away.
Why don't you take off your clothes,
How about both of us at the same
Damone nods, and watches as Stacy unhooks her top and steps
out of her bikini bottom. She stands naked in the shadows of
the afternoon sun. She sits down naked on a red changing
room couch, and gathers her legs up to her chest. She watches
as Damone struggles with his clothes.
ANGLE ON DAMONE
hopping on one leg, pulling first out of his pants, then his
jockey underwear. Bashfully, he goes to sit next to Stacy on
the couch. They begin to kiss, and it quickly escalates into
heavy petting. Stacy pulls away.
I want you to know that it's your
final decision if we should continue
Stacy leans back and pulls him on top of her. He enters her
and begins pumping so hard, so fast, that he doesn't notice
he's banging the sofa into the wall of the changing room.
But just as quickly as Damone starts, he stops.
What? Are you all right?
I think we're making a lot of noise.
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
He has a strange look on his face.
I think I came. Didn't you feel it?
I guess I did.
They lay there, Damone still on top of her on the red couch.
ANGLE ON DAMONE
as we read the confusion on his face. He is embarrassed, a
little confused... mostly he just wants to be alone.
I've got to get home. I've really
got to go, Stacy.
ANGLE ON STACY
as she looks up at him. She gives him a kiss.
Damone gets up puts his pants and shirt on. He leaves the
INT. BIOLOGY CLASS - AFTERNOON
We see Stacy sitting at her usual seat, and she's wearing a
bright spring dress with a slight amount of makeup.
She looks at Damone's seat with anticipation, but it remains
empty as other students file in.
Finally, she turns to The Rat.
Where's Mike today?
Today's April 16th. Damone never
comes to school on April 16th.
What's April 16th?
It's John Bonham's birthday.
John Bonham. The drummer for Led
Zeppelin. He died a couple years
ago. Every birthday he stays home
and plays everything John Bonham
ever recorded. It's like his own
Oh. I see.
The bell rings, and Mr. Vargas enters the room with his Sanka
INT. COLLEGE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON
Seated at the desk is Mrs. O'Rourke. There is a knock at the
The door swings open. Brad Hamilton holds out his yellow
Have a seat, Brad... Brad have you
got your list of college applications?
Well, to tell you the truth Mrs.
O'Rourke, I've kind of been putting
it off. I'm not sure what I want to
All right Brad. Let me ask you like
this. If I were queen of the world,
and I could make you whatever you
wanted to be, what would it be?
I don't know... Burt Reynolds.
There is no humor on Mrs. O'Rourke's face.
I realize it's important to have fun
in your senior year, with your
friends, but there comes a time when
you have to get serious about your
future, think about college, and put
aside all this fun.
Brad looks up suddenly.
You know what, Mrs. O'Rourke? I broke
up with my girlfriend this year. I
lost my job at Carl's, and two other
places. I wake up at 5:30 to work at
7-11, then I go to school, then I go
back to 7-11. I have to pay rent,
you know. My grades haven't been
that bad, and now you're telling me
that the fun is over. Well, I'm still
waiting for the fun to start.
Brad, I'll see you when I'm through
with the rest of the seniors. If you
want to visit the career office, go
right ahead. I'll talk to you when
you're more prepared.
Brad gathers his books and opens the door to leave.
An absolutely exuberant Cindy Carr pops her head in the door.
EXT. RIDGEMONT HALLWAY - MORNING
The bell has just rung, and Mike Damone comes out of Youth
and Law class. He has an absorbed, driven look on his face.
He walks past the rows of lockers, and doesn't even notice
as he passes Stacy Hamilton standing by her locker. She
smiles, grabs his arm affectionately.
Damone turns to see her, is thoroughly unimpressed.
I didn't see you this morning.
Look, I'm kind of in a hurry.
I'm in a hurry too. I just thought I
could say hi to you.
He pulls away, leaving a bewildered Stacy standing by her
locker. She grabs some books and hurries in the other
EXT. SCHOOL BUS - DAY
The bus pulls up to the front entrance of University Hospital.
The students file out and collect next to the front door.
Mr. Vargas gleefully addresses the class. This is his favorite
Today we're going to explore how
this hospital works to preserve human
life. We'll be visiting every floor,
every level where these fine doctors
and nurses take care of us, in life...
and in death.
INT. MATERNITY WARD
The class exits from a hospital elevator, onto another floor.
They are now standing outside the maternity ward. We hear
the loud noise of babies.
Over thirty children are delivered
here each day...
The class moves on.
INT. THE BOTTOM FLOOR
The class exits another hospital elevator.
This is part of your third quarter
exam, and I'd advise you to take
careful notes on what we're about to
ANGLE ON DR. MILLER
a young intern who has joined the class for the last part of
May I just ask you one last time to
conduct yourselves with the utmost
The kids are beginning to get very nervous now as they are
led down the hall to the "Cold Room." The door to the "Cold
Room" has only one sign on it. It reads: CADAVERS -- MEDICAL
EXAMINATION ONLY. Mr. Vargas opens the door, and the class
seems to gasp.
INT. THE COLD ROOM
There are six examination tables in the "Cold Room". Each of
them contains a cadaver covered by a white sheet. Mr. Vargas
has gathered the class around one table in particular. He
fingers the edge of the white sheet as he talks.
As you know, all the bodies in this
room are recently deceased human bio-
A student raises his hand.
Who are these guys?
Most of them were derelicts, Randy.
They sold the right for medical
examination of their bodies for money.
Something like thirty dollars, I
believe. Isn't that right, Doctor
ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI
who turns to Stacy.
Twenty-five bucks is pretty good.
Now this gentleman here is named
Arthur. Arthur died from heart failure
last week and we are fortunate enough
to view his body in its pristine
Mr. Vargas suddenly pulls the white sheet aside and we see
the body of Arthur. The students' eyes widen. Some gasp.
Others cover their mouths. Others begin furious notes. Nobody
speaks. The body of Arthur is smallish and withered. It is
orange, flaky, and not quite real looking. A deep cut has
been made in Arthur's chest.
Mr. Vargas bends Arthur upright for a better student view.
He gestures to the deep cut made in Arthur's chest.
The tension mounts.
This incision allows us to pull aside
the skin covering of the chest cavity
and really observe the human organs
as they exist in their natural state.
ANGLE ON ARTHUR
and his shrunken face, which seems to say please don't.
I want all of you to take a look at
the chest cavity for just a moment.
Mr. Vargas grabs the two sides of Arthur's chest cavity
covering, and rips it open.
Here we have the human lungs and
heart, which you can see is actually
located in the center of your chest.
With a squish, Mr. Vargas reaches inside Arthur and pulls
out the human heart for display. The class stands in silent
shock. Only one comment escapes from any of them.
ANGLE ON STACY HAMILTON
who goes running out of the "Cold Room", holding her mouth.
The Rat runs after her.
INT. BOTTOM FLOOR HALL
Rat and Stacy sit side-by-side on some orange plastic chairs,
by a nurse's desk. Stacy is shook up.
I made a fool of myself.
Nobody noticed. Don't worry about
it. We'll just stay out here until
everyone comes out, we'll blend back
What about the notes?
I'll get you the notes.
She squeezes his arm.
EXT. HOSPITAL - AFTERNOON
The students file out of the hospital, looking like they've
just been through a war.
INT. LINDA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
It is night, and Linda and Stacy are watching Fantasy Island.
You see, Tatoo, what this man doesn't
realize is that he must one day leave
Fantasy Island. And he must continue
his life as an incurable leper.
Stacy is fighting back tears. Linda looks angry.
Telephone rings. Linda jumps to get it.
Linda obviously is disappointed when she hears a female voice.
Yeah... you're kidding... What did
he say... What did you say... How
much did it cost? Look, tell him he
can have a relationship with you or
a 'more open' relationship with
someone else... Listen, Debbie, can
I call you later. I'm waiting for
Doug to call.
She plops back on the couch with Stacy.
I'll bet he forgets to call again.
She notices that Stacy is crying over the TV show.
God, Stacy, it's not that sad. It's
just David Soul and Ricardo Montalban.
I don't know, I'm just so depressed.
Everything is just so... depressing.
Linda shuts off the television.
You have been acting very strange
the last few weeks.
I don't know... I just don't feel
Linda sits down next to Stacy on the bed.
What do you think it is?
What do you think it is?
It couldn't be.
It could be. I had a pregnancy test
at the clinic. I'll find out Monday.
I guess it was Damone.
Of course it was Damone. If it was
Ron Johnson, you'd be out to here!
I'm not going to tell him. He's an
asshole. I hate him.
But it costs money to have an
abortion. Even at the Free Clinic.
You tell Damone to pay for it. It's
the least he can do. It's the guy's
She puts the TV back on and they watch.
You know, there's one thing you didn't
tell me about guys.
You didn't tell me that they can be
so nice, so great... but then you
sleep with them and they start acting
like they're five years old.
You're right. I didn't tell you that.
EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - TWO DAYS LATER
Stacy Hamilton is walking towards Mike Damone on the football
field. We see him from a distance, timing track runners.
What's going on?
Mike, there's something that's been
on my mind and I have to tell you
He clicks off the time on a runner, and then turns to face
Why don't you call me up tonight?
Mike. I want you to know that I'm
ANGLE ON STACY
as she looks down. They are words she never thought she would
How do you know it's mine? We only
did it once.
I know it's yours.
ANGLE ON DAMONE
as he realizes she is sincere, and he truly begins to panic.
You made me do it! You locked the
door. You made me do it! You wanted
it more than me!
ANGLE ON STACY
She does not flinch.
Take that back.
All right, I take it back.
ANGLE ON DAMONE
He hugs his arms tighter across his chest, and decides to
try a more mature tact.
There's only one thing we can do.
We've got to get rid of it. We've
got to get an abortion.
We've got to get an abortion?
Yeah. My brother Art got his
girlfriend one once.
It's already planned, Mike. It's
going to cost $150 at the Free Clinic.
Doesn't sound free to me.
So you want me to pay for it?
(bites back tears)
Seventy-five dollars. And a ride to
Seventy-five dollars, and a ride.
Stacy stands there, hands folded, nodding.
INT. DAMONE'S ROOM - AFTERNOON
He is working at his desk, counting through a wad of money.
ANGLE ON THE LIST
in front of him, which has a split line down the middle.
People Who Owe Me -- fifteen dollars Rick.
People I Owe -- seventy-five dollars REO Speedwagon tickets,
seventy-five dollars abortion. Damone counts fifteen dollars
into his stack, crosses out Rick. Then he counts through the
money. Seventy five dollars exactly. He crosses out REO
Speedwagon tickets. This leaves him no money for the abortion.
EXT. STREET CORNER - AFTERNOON
Here, at the same corner where she once waited for Ron
Johnson, Stacy waits for Damone. Cars pass, no Damone.
INT. HAMILTON HOUSE - AFTERNOON
Stacy is on the phone, calling Damone. We see the phone
messages sheet that lists two calls for Stacy, and none for
Brad. The line rings four times, then it's answered.
Hello... is Mike there?
Stacy sags, disbelieving, and looks at the clock on the
kitchen wall. It's getting late...
He says he's helping his father in
the garage and he'll call you back.
Stacy is stunned.
Stacy hangs up. She punches out another number, quickly.
MRS. BARRETT (V.O.)
Hi, Mrs. Barrett. Is Linda there?
MRS. BARRETT (V.O.)
She went off to the beach. She'll be
back later, though.
She looks at the clock again, then hears a noise in the
Brad! Hey, wait a second!
She runs out.
EXT. CRUISING VESSEL - AFTERNOON
Brad and Stacy pull up next to the flea market.
Yeah. This is it. I have some shopping
See you later.
Thanks a lot, Brad. I really
She gets out of the car.
EXT. FLEA MARKET
Stacy Hamilton watches her brother drive away. Then she looks
to both sides, and walks on. She passes the entrance to the
Flea Market. She walks around the corner to another building
marked BIRTH CONTROL - FREE CLINIC. Brad follows her in the
INT. BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC
Stacy is lying in bed wearing a paper dress. Her hair is
stuffed in paper shower cap. She looks anxious. In a bed
next to her an older girl is being affectionate with her
A Nurse comes in with an IV.
This is going to prick a little.
She sticks the needle into Stacy's hand. Stacy looks pained
but doesn't yell. The Nurse pats the rolling bed.
Now scoot over here.
Stacy moves onto it. Looking up from her point of view, we
see the ride out of the room and into:
INT. OPERATING ROOM
Stacy gets wheeled in. The Doctor looks down at her.
Hello, Stacy, I'm Doctor Bartell.
Stacy moves onto the operating table as the Nurse and Doctor
Any questions before we begin?
This is going to hurt, isn't it?
We'll use a local but you'll feel
some pressure. It doesn't last that
Does it hurt more to have a baby?
The Doctor pauses and considers her question.
Yes... but I think you mind it less.
Stacy looks up at the lights and listens to the sound of
INT. B.C. WAITING AREA
The other girl and Stacy sit at a table eating toast and
jelly. The girl is reading. The Nurse enters.
How are we doing in here? Debbie,
ready to leave?
The girl nods and gets up.
Right through here. Stacy, I can't
let you go unless you have a ride
Uh, my boyfriend said held be waiting
The Nurse studies her, decides she's telling the truth and
allows her to leave.
EXT. ENTRANCE TO THE FREE CLINIC
Stacy walks back out into the sunlight, slowly and weakly.
She is surprised and amazed at who she sees standing outside,
waiting for her.
ANGLE ON BRAD HAMILTON
He stands, hands on hips, just outside the door.
He puts an arm around her and leads her toward his waiting
Since when do you shop at the Flea
Brad. Please don't tell Mom and Dad...
He helps her into the cruising vessel. He starts up the car
and drives off.
Who did it?
Stacy stares out the window. Tears well in her eyes.
You're not going to tell me, are
All right, then. It's your secret.
Stacy smiles at Brad. Brad smiles back. The car drives on.
INT. LINDA'S ROOM - NIGHT
Stacy is in Linda's room, sitting on her bed. Her eyes are
red and moist from crying. Linda listens to her story.
I really thought he would show up.
I waited... and waited... and
That little prick.
Then I called his house, and his
mother told me he was in the garage
helping his father.
That little prick.
I paid for it and everything.
There goes your stereo for another
year. Mike Damone is a no-brain little
prick. I'm not letting him get away
Don't do anything, Linda. I'd rather
just forget about it. I don't even
like the guy.
Stacy, he's not a guy.
He's a little prick!
Stacy lies back on the bed.
EXT. DAMONE HOUSE - MORNING
The front door to the Damone house opens, and out walks Mike
Damone carrying some books. He looks troubled, burdened, and
stares down at the walkway as he moves towards his car. He
walks around, starts to pen the car door, then he sees it.
There, in white spray paint across the driver's door, is the
He looks both ways, and starts back towards the house.
EXT. DAMONE CAR
Mike Damone travels down Ridgemont Drive, making the turn
into the school parking lot. There is a large cardboard panel
taped on the side of his car.
EXT. DAMONE'S LOCKER
He arrives at his locker, where, in white spray paint, there
is another message: LITTLE PRICK.
Several girls walk by, they laugh knowingly.
Damone backs up against the locker, with a sick smile on his
More students pass, looking strangely at the young man pinned
against his own locker.
EXT. BOY'S LOCKER ROOM - AFTERNOON
Damone exits the boys locker room. Just as he does, he is
accosted by The Rat. We have never quite heard this tone in
The Rat's voice before.
Damone? What happened between you
Damone feigns The Attitude, shakes his head. Damone sighs.
Let me tell you something, Rat.
Sometimes girls just go haywire. It
was a month ago, I've been trying to
think of a way to tell you ever since.
We started messing around and...
...something happened. It's all over
with. It's no big deal. I never called
The Rat says nothing.
If you ask me, she's pretty
aggressive. You understand what I'm
No Damone. I don't understand.
She wasn't really your girlfriend
Hey fuck you Damone. There's a lot
of girls out there and you mess around
with Stacy. What have you got to
Jesus. I'm sorry.
I always stick up for you. Whenever
people say 'Aw, that Damone is a
loudmouth' -- and they say that a
lot -- I say 'You just don't know
Damone.' When someone says you're an
idiot, I tell them 'Damone's not an
idiot. You just don't know him.'
Well, you know, Damone, maybe they
do know you pretty good. And I'm
just finding out.
Fine. Get lost.
Damone starts to push past him, but The Rat shoves his
All right, Rat. You want to do
something about it?
Damone begins the classic high school fighting ritual. He
throws his books down. He takes a step back. He goes into a
crouch. He gestures towards himself. Then Damone says the
universally recognized high school fighting words.
Well come on.
The Rat shows no fear. As other kids begin to crowd around
the two boys, Rat throws his own books down.
He takes a step back, goes into the crouch. He gestures toward
You come on.
They stand there, gesturing, neither one of them wanting to
make the first move.
No. You come on, you wuss.
Assistant Coach Mr. Sexton comes running out of the boy's
locker room, and steps in front of the two boys.
Hey! Knock this crap off!!
The Rat stalks off, disappearing into the crowd of onlookers.
EXT. RIDGEMONT DRIVE - NIGHT
The Ridgemont Drive strip is filled with cars, cruising for
parties. There is a lot of honking, and yelling out windows.
Everyone is headed towards the beach. We stay on a lowly 7-
11 store near the freeway entrance.
EXT. 7-11 STORE - NIGHT
A yellow Firebird slowly, menacingly cruises the empty parking
lot. It does not stop.
Then, around the corner, walks Jeff Spicoli. We see him in
the neon 7-11 light, his hands stuffed deep into the pockets
of baggy jeans. He walks inside the store. He is the only
INT. 7-11 STORE
Brad Hamilton stands behind the counter in a red and white
striped shirt and cap, making fresh coffee. Jeff Spicoli
trudges up to the counter. He looks at Brad. Brad looks at
Spicoli. There is an unspoken edge between them.
Hey, mon, can I use the bathroom?
Brad squints his eyes, looks at the sign on the back room
sign which reads: Rest Room For Employees Only.
Go ahead. Just make it quick.
It's the first door on your left.
Spicoli disappears into the back room. Brad sighs, looks at
the clock. It reads: 11:15. Then he hears Spicoli from the
I can't find it, mon!
It's the first door on your left!
On the ledge?
First door on your left!
There it is!
Brad sighs again. He loads a new filter into the coffee maker.
EXT./INT. 7-11 STORE
A moment later, the yellow Firebird pulls into the 7-11
parking lot. A man in a windbreaker comes hurtling out of
the car, into the store. He spray paints the scanning camera
above the door. He hustles up to the counter, produces a .45
Magnum and points it chest high at Brad. There is a glazed
and nervous speedy edge to his voice.
I want money. And I want it all --
Brad looks pale and young under the fluorescent 7-11 light.
He speaks slowly.
They empty and close the big safe
here at midnight.
I know this store. I know where the
He bangs the gun on the counter, hard.
Over there behind the donut case.
Brad slowly moves to the donut case, like a zombie.
I'm instructed to tell you that we
are on a video alarm system and there
are other hidden cameras in the
Just give me the money. Move it.
(legs are shaking)
I just started here, and they just
taught me the procedure. I'll give
you the money, just let me figure
Move it. Move it.
Brad opens the phony back of the donut case and fiddles with
the strongbox combination.
Let's go, stupid.
Brad looks at the gunman.
You motherfucker. Get off my fuckin'
The Robber is about to react when the bathroom door opens
and Jeff Spicoli starts out, wiping his hands on his pants.
No towels, mon...
The Robber turns to look at Spicoli, and that is all that
Brad Hamilton needs. Just like it is the most natural thing
in the world, Brad reaches for the hot, steaming coffee pot
he has just made and throws it into the gunman's face and
The .45 falls out of his hand and rattles to the floor. The
gunman is still grabbing his face, and looking at his skinless
hands in horror when Brad snaps up the gun. In the parking
lot, the gunman's accomplice, poised behind the wheel of the
yellow Firebird, spots the foul-up and screeches out of the
There goes your ride home.
Brad pulls the under-counter alarm with newfound confidence.
Jeff Spicoli stands there, mesmerized at the entire event.
Awesome. Totally awesome.
EXT. RIDGEMONT MALL - NIGHT
Kids are pouring into the Ridgemont mall. Summer banners are
INT. THE MALL - NIGHT
In the midst of all the kids and shoppers, we see The Rat
walking slowly down the promenade. He is wearing an Army
surplus jacket, and his hands are buried deep in his pockets.
Two girls pass his way. One smiles briefly at him, and The
Rat turns to watch her pass. He is about to say something to
her, then no. He walks on, sees Swenson's Ice-Cream Parlor
up ahead. The Rat decides to walk the other way.
INT. SWENSON'S - NIGHT
The place is busy again, filled with shoppers and teenagers
in summer-type clothing.
We see Stacy Hamilton, once again, at the cash register
wearing an Assistant manager name tag and a hostess gown.
She handles a customer's bill, then stands there a moment,
looking glum. Linda Barrett approaches.
Another summer of working at
Come on. There's lots of men around
here. Keep your eyes open.
You know, Linda. I've finally figured
it out. It's not sex I want. Anyone
can have sex.
What do you want?
I want romance.
Romance in Ridgemont? We don't even
get cable TV.
the back kitchen door, which swings open, and out comes Mike
Damone in a peppermint Swenson's shirt.
He wipes some grime on his pants.
Mike! You have a mess on C-9!
All right. All right. I just cleaned
B-8. Give me a break.
The two girls smile, go back to their posts.
INT. JEFF SPICOLI'S ROOM - NIGHT
Jeff Spicoli sits in his room, and it is his castle. Clothes
lie in disarray on the floor. A huge half-waxed surfboard is
propped against the window. We see Spicoli dressed in a too
large white short-sleeved shirt, attempting to tie his
father's fat paisley tie. He stops to take a hit from his
bong, all the while talking on the phone. The music of Lynyrd
Skynyrd's "Freebird" plays on the radio.
I... am... so... wasted, mon. What
is in this shit?
Doesn't that stuff cause brain damage?
Spicoli listens for a moment. He rubs his eyes, shakes his
head. He is really buzzed.
Hey, mon, I am going to Mexico as
soon as school is out. Two more weeks,
bud. Week from Wednesday.
I am gonna take both boards, my duck
feet, many cases of beer, and just
No, mon, from school. I'm leaving as
soon as school gets out. I'll be at
Sunset Cliffs by nighttime.
Spicoli hangs up, and concentrates on tying his tie. He almost
strangles himself. Then suddenly the door to his room flies
open and Spicoli's little brother Curtis bursts in.
Jeff you have company!
Go away, Curtis. If you can't knock,
I can't hear you.
Curtis slams the door and leaves. A moment later there is a
That's better. Come in.
The door swings open and Jeff Spicoli sits in stoned shock
at the sight before him. There, standing in the doorway of
his room is Mr. Hand.
Mr... Mr. Hand.
That's right, Jeff. Mind if I come
Spicoli can only nod.
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Spicoli.
Hand walks into Spicoli's room, takes off his suit jacket
and lays it on the chair back. He stops a moment and catches
the stare of Miss January Penthouse on the wall, then turns
Were you going somewhere tonight,
Yeah. The Graduation Dance Mr. Hand.
It's the last school event of the
I'm afraid we've got some things to
discuss here, Jeff.
Did I do something wrong, Mr. Hand?
Hand removes several copies of Oui Magazine from another
chair and sits down. He sets his briefcase on Spicoli's
dresser, next to a bag of pot, and opens it up for easy
Do you want to sit there, Jeff?
I don't know. I guess so.
Fine. You sit right here on your
bed. I'll use the chair here.
As I explained to your parents just
a moment ago, and to you many times
since the very beginning of the school
year -- I don't like to spend my
time waiting for late students, or
detention cases. I'd rather be
preparing the lesson.
Mr. Hand takes a sheet from his briefcase and looks at it.
According to my calculations, Mr.
Spicoli, you wasted a total of eight
hours of my time this year. And
rest assured that is a kind estimate.
He returns the sheet to his case and looks into Spicoli's
Now, Mr. Spicoli, comes a rare moment
for me. Now I have the unique pleasure
of squaring our account. Tonight,
you and I are going to talk in great
detail about the Davis Agreement,
all the associated treaties, and the
American Revolution in particular.
Now if you can just turn to Chapter
47 of Lord of Truth And Liberty.
Hey, it's in my locker, Mr. Hand.
Well, then, I'm glad I remembered to
bring an extra copy just for you.
Hand reaches in his case and produces the book. He hands it
INT. SPICOLI'S ROOM - HOURS LATER
Wearily, Spicoli is trying to grasp the material.
...so, like, when Jefferson went
before the people what he was saying
was 'Hey, we left this place in
England because it was bogus, and if
we don't come up with some cool rules
ourself, we'll be bogus, too!' Right?
ANGLE ON MR. HAND
who nods his head.
Very close, Jeff.
Hand reaches over and gets his case.
I think I've made my point with you
Hey, Mr. Hand, can I ask you a
Do you have a guy like me every year?
A guy to... I don't know, make a
show of. Teach other kids lessons
Well, you'll find out next year.
No way, mon. When I graduate U.S.
history I ain't even coming over to
your side of the building.
If you graduate.
You're gonna flunk me?!
Mr. Hand pauses a moment, then breaks into the nearest
approximation of a grin we have seen all year. It isn't much,
but it's noticeable. His lips crinkle at the ends.
Don't worry, Spicoli. You'll probably
All right! Oh, yeah!
Mr. Hand has now gathered all his material, and he stands to
approach Spicoli's door. Jeff jumps up, extends his hand.
Aloha, Mr. Hand!
Mr. Hand exits the room, and descends the staircase of the
Spicoli household. Spicoli kicks the door shut, grins, and
continues struggling with his tie.
INT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM - NIGHT
Tight angle on the emotion-filled face of the lead singer in
a cheesy high school band called the T Birds. He is bathed
in a blue light, singing the last verse of The Eagles' 'Take
It To The Limit'.
We pull back to reveal a large, clumsy banner reading: LAST
DANCE. Students are pouring into the gym for this event.
Many have brought their annual yearbooks. On stage, the lead
singer snaps his fingers and the band goes into Nick Lowe's
'Heart of the City'. Some students start to dance.
Every one of our characters is either here, or about to
arrive. From Charles Jefferson to Spicoli to Mr. Hand. For
once, all classes are partying together. But, just as in the
beginning of the year on lunch court, the kids are still
cordoned off into their distinctive cliques.
ANGLE ON MORE STUDENTS ARRIVING
at the Last Dance. They see Mr. Hand signing annuals by the
door. They all say the same thing as they pass, "Aloha, Mr.
Hand". He nods in return.
ANGLE ON STACY
surveying the growing mob of annual-crazed students. From
behind her comes Linda Barrett in a low-cut black dress.
He's not coming.
Not coming? What happened?
He says he's got to stay in Chicago.
He says I should visit him sometimes.
Yeah, like maybe never.
But what are you going to do?
Well I might go to Dartmouth.
I didn't tell anyone I applied cause
I never thought I'd make it.
I can't believe it! But what about
There's a world of guys out there.
I just wish I didn't have to date
any of them.
Hey -- Doug Stallworth? It's his
ANGLE ON MIKE DAMONE
in another part of the dance, by the Junior class sponsored
food counter. Damone is standing, talking to several girls,
gesturing and being Damone, Mr. Attitude.
Sign my annual, honey.
The girls look at each other, laugh. They walk away.
ANGLE ON THE RAT
You're losing it, Damone.
You're crazy. Those girls love me.
ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI
sprawled out in the bleachers with his surfer stoner buddies.
He turns to one admiring stoner (Todd).
Hey, mon. Sign my annual.
Spicoli slips the annual into the kid's crotch. The stoner
winces in pain, but still opens the book and lingers on all
the signings in Spicoli's annual.
They are all drug-related messages from fellow stoners. After
a moment, Spicoli's friend signs:
"Thanks for the reds. Todd."
Hey, mon, good thing we're going to
Mexico this summer. 'Cause you're
gonna get kicked out of your house
when your parents read your annual.
INT. GYMNASIUM - ANGLE ON DOOR
Brad Hamilton pushes both doors open, and makes his entrance
into the Last Dance. There is a lot of activity going on,
but all nearby eyes turn to Brad as he walks into the dance.
Fifteen kids immediately gravitate towards him. They all
want Brad to sign their annuals, to talk about the 7-11
incident. Onstage, the T-Birds play the Beatles' "It Won't
We see Brad's old girlfriend Lisa push up to him. Her new
jock boyfriend holds a protective arm around her.
I saw your picture in the paper. You
had the greatest look on your face!
Front of the Metro Section. I'm
telling my parents, 'I know this
guy, I know this guy.'
Lisa's boyfriend pulls his arm tighter around her.
Will you sign my annual, Brad?
Brad smiles, nods. He signs, and gives her his. We then see
Brad's three Buddies from Carl's Jr. come up, pat him on the
back and grab his shoulder. Brad studies them warily.
Fuckin' manager of 7-11!
Get us jobs over there, Brad! You
can do it!
Since when do you guys want to work
Come on, Brad! It would be great!
All of us together!
Well, 7-11 is a tremendous operation.
It's really changed, man. They've
got great food, great magazines,
videogames... it's class. Total class.
As soon as you can get us in there,
we're gone from Carl's, Brad.
Yeah, man, all the little punks from
junior high have taken over the place.
Brad leaves his old buddies. He grins and notices someone
across the crowded dance floor.
Hey, Thompson! Wendell! Get a job!
They laugh, flip him off. Brad is back in his element at
last. He moves into the main dancing area, works his way
across the room, past the bleachers, when he hears a voice.
Brad turns around, seen Spicoli sitting on the bottom rung
of the bleachers. Spicoli looks back with true respect.
He throws Brad his annual. Brad gives him his. They sign.
ANGLE ON THE BLEACHERS
where several couples are passionately making out. Four
teachers clomp up into the stands from different angles.
They pin the couples in flashlight beams, like the main tower
pinning an escaping prisoner.
ANGLE ON THE T-BIRDS
onstage, singing the Rolling Stones' "I'm Free".
EXT. GYNMASIUM - NIGHT
We see Jeff Spicoli leave the dance and come backing down
the stairs with a stoner bud. His fist is in the air.
Summer, mon! We're there!
He turns to his stoner bud.
Let's roll, my man.
Spicoli backs right into a young buzz-cut kid.
Hey, bud! Watch yourself!
Spicoli turns around to see he's backed into a squad of eight
Lincoln Surf Nazis. They are all standing on the steps,
Are you Jeff Spicoli?
Spicoli looks up and down the row of Surf Nazis. On the end,
he sees L.C.
That's him! He did it!
Hey, mon, I don't know what your
trip is, but...
Spicoli dashes off down Luna Street. L.C. and the Surf Nazis
take out in hot pursuit, chasing him through the parking
lot, past Ridgemont High, and into the night. They will never
INT. RIDGEMONT MALL
School is out and it's summer business as usual at the
Ridgemont Mall. We see the same stores, the same packs of
kids roaming the three tiers.
ANGLE ON MARK RATNER
who stands against the railing in his Cinema Four jacket,
gazing across the mall at Swenson's Ice Cream Parlor. He
sees Stacy walk two girlfriends to the outdoor front tables,
and almost look his way.
The Rat turns away suddenly. Then he hears her calling out
Hey Mark! Turn around!
Ratner turns around, affects total and complete cool. He
waves across the mall to her.
Come over here!
He looks back at his post at the theatre, decides it's okay
to step away. He walks across the mall.
Stacy is standing by the sundae bar. Next to her are two
empty stools. After a moment, we see The Rat plop onto one
of the metal stools. He pounds the seat next to him with the
palm of his hand.
Stacy turns to look at him, smiles. She sits.
Hi, Stacy. How are you?
I'm fine. Mark, I'm so glad you came
over here because I want you to know
something. I just thought I would
tell you that I really enjoyed getting
to know you this year.
The Rat maintains The Attitude.
Yeah? About fifty people I didn't
know wrote that in my annual.
I know everybody says it, but I really
The Rat looks at her from the corner of his eyes.
Yeah. I want you to have this picture,
so you won't forget what I look like.
And so you'll remember to call me
over the summer.
She withdraws a picture from her pocket, hands it to The
Well, I don't know, I may be doing
some traveling this summer. I don't
know how much I'll be around...
(breaks down, takes
But I'll give you a call sometime.
I'd like that.
She gives him a kiss on the mouth, gets up and walks away.
The Rat sits there, smiling at the way things sometimes turn
out. He slips the picture into his pocket, a satisfied young
INT./EXT. SWENSON'S AND MALL
The Rat is joined by Mike Damone, who has changed into his
She wants it, Rat.
The Rat snickers, shakes his head.
I saw you. You had pure Attitude.
The Rat turns to look at his friend.
The Attitude, Damone, is only good
until you meet the right girl.
Whatever you say, Rat.
They take off together, blending into the crowd of kids
walking the mall.
And... you can only tell it's the
right girl if you're sensitive.
Sensitive -- what is that?
Sensitive is when you can tell how
people feel without asking.
So what makes you so sensitive?
Well, for one, I read. I don't watch
as much television as you. I'm trying
to feel things more. I'm learning a
lot about people.
What do you read? What's the last
book you read?
Lust For Life. It's the story of
Vincent Van Gough.
Yeah, well, I saw the movie. That
must mean I'm sensitive too.
It's a way, Damone. It's a vibe. I
put it out, and I have personally
found that girls do respond.
Damone laughs, shoves him hard. We lose sight of the two
boys in the sea of kids.
SERIES OF ANGLES
of Ridgemont Center Mall with music.
FADE TO BLACK:
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