"SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT" Screenplay by James Lee Barrett, Charles Shyer and Alan Mandel Story by Hal Needham and Robert L. Levy EARLY DRAFT FADE IN: THE HIGHWAY - DAY Georgia. Two-lane blacktop, stretching from here to heaven. Empty. Silent. Then, suddenly in the far distance, several dark specks rise over a hill and head straight toward camera. Camera holds and the specks begin to take form. Vehicles. Trucks. Six monstrous eighteen-wheel diesels, coming at us, their smokestacks blasting. Sound grows louder, as we begin to hear snatches of Citizens Band Radio talk over: VOICE ONE -- Breaker, this is Banana Peel... VOICE TWO -- Yeah, Breaker go head on. VOICE ONE -- Thanks much. I'd like to get me a Smokey report? VOICE TWO -- Road looks clean as a hound's tooth. VOICE ONE -- Okey, doke. Last one to the Roadeo is a homo. Voices fade and titles and credits begin. "Black Smoke Blowing Over Eighteen Wheels" by Red Simpson comes up in the b.g. as the six trucks blast right over camera. AN AERIAL VIEW of the trucks driving through an entrance gate to a huge parking lot. Over the gate is a sign reading: "GEORGIA TRUCK ROADEO STATE FINALS." Music and credits continue. TRUCK ROADEO - PARKING LOT - DAY Macks, Kenworths, Whites and Jimmys, all polished to a mirrored finish. Truck drivers decked out in their flashiest western outfits. The stands filled with spectators on the edge of their seats, watching the gearjammers put their rigs through tests of skill and reflexes -- parallel parking, driving around eggs, through complicated barricades, etc. CAMERA PICKS UP a customized white Cadillac convertible pulling into the Roadeo grounds. The Caddy has mounted chrome quarter horses on each front fender, bull horns on the front bumper, stacked rifles displayed in the rear. Garish. The car's Texas license plate reads "Mr. Big." CLOSER ANGLE The Cadillac stops. Two men climb out and wend their way through the trucks and spectators. Camera tracks behind them. Although we can't see their faces, we see that one man is pudgy and decked out in a fancy white western suit and hat. The other is younger, tall, skinny and wearing a grey western suit and hat. Kyle Brand and his son Dickey. MUSIC AND CREDITS FADE ANGLE - ROADEO INFIELD The crowd roars, as the trucks race through an obstacle course. ANGLE - THE MEN - TRACKING Camera still on their backs. DICKEY (referring to race) Is that Bandit in the lead? KYLE If that sumbitch was in the race, he'd be in the winner's circle by now. DICKEY I still think this whole idea is dumb, pop. KYLE Then it must be a helluva idea. Kyle laughs. His laugh then turns into a hacking cough. DICKEY Why don't we just rent a Lear jet and haul it back ourselves? KYLE Because I wanna see this hot shot Bandit do something that can't be done. Besides, there's nothing I like better than breaking legends. He laughs, coughs again, continues walking. DICKEY (not getting it) But if it can't be done, how's he gonna do it? KYLE That's the point, Dickey. DICKEY Oh. KYLE Now, you just find him, son. DICKEY Yes, sir. Dickey crosses to a trucker couple, polishing up their chromed rig. DICKEY Say, hoss. Where might I locate the Bandit? HUSBAND Ain't seen him. WIFE (immediately) Over there behind his rig. The Husband shoots his old lady a jealous look. Dickey rejoins Kyle and they head toward Bandit LaRue's truck. NEW ANGLE - MOVING as they come to the only battered, beaten-up eighteen-wheeler at the entire Truck Roadeo. It looks like it hasn't been washed since it left the showroom. On one side of the truck is a faded and peeling mural of a stagecoach being held up. A teamster and a shotgun guard have their hands high in the air and a Bandit on horseback has a six-gun pointed at them. An elaborate CB radio antenna grows out of the cab beside the driver's door. ANGLE - KYLE AND DICKEY - FROM BEHIND as they round the truck and stop in their tracks. REVERSE ANGLE - WHAT THEY SEE A hammock is stretched from the cab of the truck to an oak tree. A man wearing a faded denim western shirt, open with the sleeves rolled up, levis and silver-toed cowboy boots is lying in the hammock. A cowboy hat covers his face. CLOSER ANGLE as shadows fall across the figure. The man slowly tips back his hat and we see he's in his thirties, boyishly handsome, with a cocky smile. Bandit LaRue. FULL SHOT And for the first time we get a look at Kyle and Dickey. Kyle is wearing sunglasses and diamond rings on every finger. His smile is as tasteless as the suit he wears. Dickey is in his early twenties. Blonde, blue-eyed and scared to death of his old man. Bandit looks at them for a moment, then casually pulls the hat back over his face. KYLE Aw, ain't you glad to see me, Bandit? BANDIT (hat over his face) Yeah, it's the highlight of my day. There's a long pause interrupted by Kyle's hacking cough. KYLE (to Dickey) What's he get if he wins here? BANDIT (hat over his face) If...? DICKEY Five thou. KYLE Chickenshit money. Kyle coughs again. BANDIT (hat over his face) Could you turn your head? Bandit gets up and begins untying the hammock from the tree. Kyle crosses to him. BANDIT Look, Kyle; I ain't in this Truck Roadeo for the money. It's the challenge. You know, the ecstasy of victory, the agony of defeat. Kyle looks out at the cheering crowd. KYLE I can't believe there's two thousand people here to watch a bunch of guys back up their trucks. BANDIT America's bored. (then) Now, what do you want? KYLE You to forget this dumbass Roadeo and take on a real challenge. As Bandit turns to him, we: CUT TO: BANDIT'S TRUCK - DAY Bandit, wearing aviator shades and his cowboy hat, is backing the truck up and shouting down to Kyle and Dickey on the ground. BANDIT You're crazy, man. Smart dresser, but crazy. KYLE What's the matter? Legend has it Bandit LaRue's king of the road. BANDIT I can make it to Texarkana and back in twenty-eight hours... that's no sweat. DICKEY It ain't ever been done before, hot shit. BANDIT (smiles at Dickey, then) See, running Coors Beer east of Texas is what bothers me. It makes me a bootlegger. KYLE I hear a few weeks ago you smuggled sixteen Beaners up to West Virginia. BANDIT You know how rumors start. DICKEY I think you're just yellow. BANDIT Wonderful psychology. Why don't you say something about my mom? (then) Excuse me. Bandit drives toward the starting line for another event. Kyle and Dickey run alongside. KYLE (coughs, then) Look, you make this little run for me, I'll buy you a new rig. BANDIT (indicating truck) Last year, this was a new rig. KYLE But it wasn't a Kenworth. Dickey turns to his father, stunned, as Bandit stops the truck. DICKEY (sotto) Pop, a K-Whopper's worth seventy thou. BANDIT (correcting) Seventy-two five. (then) Why do you want this barley pop so bad? DICKEY He's thirsty. Bandit smiles at Dickey again. KYLE I got a boy running in the Peach Tree Classic tomorrow and when he wins, I wanna celebrate in style. BANDIT How much style? KYLE Four hundred cases worth. (a long pause) Well? BANDIT (a beat) You paying for the gas? Kyle smiles that unwinning smile and takes out a huge wad of bills, as we: CUT TO: GEORGIA COUNTRYSIDE - DAY Picturesque. Bandit's eighteen-wheeler rolling down the Georgia highway, past lush green meadows and endless acres of pines. Over this: A WOMAN'S VOICE Whaddya mean, we're not going to the show tonight? INSIDE THE TRUCK (DIALOGUE OVERLAPS) And for the first time, we get a real look inside the rig. It's quite a set-up. The opposite of the outside. Home on the road. Sheepskin over the two front seats, a poster of Raquel Welch in a bikini tacked above the windshield, under which is a bumper sticker reading: "Do It For Truckers." On the dash board, a St. Christopher medal and a chattering skull. Also, a stereo tape deck and the best Citizens Band Radio outfit money can buy. Bandit is on the C.B. BANDIT (into mike) Hot Pants, I got no choice. I gotta make a run to Texarkana. Over. WOMAN'S VOICE (over CB) But you been promising to take me for three weeks. BANDIT (into mike) Baby, I... MALE VOICE (over CB) Break. Break. WOMAN'S VOICE (over CB) Yeah, breaker; come on. MALE VOICE (over CB) Hot Pants, this here is Sugar Man. I'll take you to the show tonight. Pick you up at seven. How am I hitting you? WOMAN'S VOICE (over CB) Bull's-eye, Sugar Man. Bandit? BANDIT (into mike) Yeah? WOMAN'S VOICE (over CB) Go sit on a cold carrot. Bandit looks at the mike and we: CUT TO: RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Bandit's truck pulls to a stop in front of a small white clapboard house. CUT TO: A FEW MINUTES LATER - INSIDE THE HOUSE Most of the furniture is old and what isn't, is covered with plastic. No fancy carpets or objects d'art. On the coffee table is an open, colorfully illustrated Bible. A blonde wood television set sits in a corner of the room. There are a lot of toy trucks lying around and over the mantel is an oil painting of a fancy eighteen-wheeler with an epitaph under it reading: "I'd rather be a truck driver, than be a millionaire..." Bandit is trying to get into the bedroom, but his path is being blocked by a faded Georgia beauty lost somewhere in her thirties. Waynette Snow. BANDIT (trying to get past her) Goddamn, Waynette; you sure do look foxy today. If you weren't already married, I'd... WAYNETTE Don't give me that horseshit, Bandit. You ain't seeing him. BANDIT (determined) Yes, I am. WAYNETTE (equally determined) No, you ain't. A scrawny little Kid runs through the room, followed by an even scrawnier mutt. SCRAWNY KID Hi, Uncle Bandit. WAYNETTE (turning to Kid) He ain't your damn uncle and get that mutt outta here. He just peed all over my hot curlers! Bandit takes the moment to slide past Waynette and duck into the bedroom. THE BEDROOM is dark. The venetian blinds are drawn. Bandit hurries into the room with Waynette still hollering in the b.g. He passes a French Provincial dresser with a small fleet of model trucks on top and crosses to a Lump sleeping face down on a double bed. BANDIT (shaking the Lump) Cledus. CLEDUS (not moving) No. BANDIT (shaking him again) Wake up, man; I just got us a hot run for big bucks. Bandit goes to the closet and begins tossing clothes onto the bed. CLEDUS (slowly rolling over) Whadda we have to do -- kidnap the Pope? BANDIT (O.S.) (from closet) How'd you know? He comes out of the closet with the rest of the clothes and tosses them on the bed, then crosses to the dresser drawer and throws a pair of socks and underwear at Cledus. BANDIT Look, all we gotta do is make a run to Texarkana... (under his breath) ...in twenty-eight hours. Cledus Snow slowly comes up from under the covers and we get our first glimpse of him. He's thirty-three, but you'd never take him for a day under forty. Trucker all the way. He's wearing boxer shorts and an undershirt. As he reaches across to the nightstand and puts on a pair of glasses: CLEDUS Twenty-eight hours! You're outta your gord. BANDIT Is that any way to talk to your ole partner? (pulling back blanket) Look, it's only nine hundred miles each way. CLEDUS (figuring quick) That means we gotta average ninety- four miles per. (lying back down) Forget it. BANDIT No one's ever done it before. This'll put us on the map. CLEDUS Or in the slammer. BANDIT Did I tell you they're gonna give us a brand new Kenworth? CLEDUS (sitting up) Waynette! CUT TO: OUTSIDE CLEDUS' HOUSE - DAY Bandit sits inside the cab of the truck, nervously tapping his foot and watching Cledus' kids play football on the front lawn. The mutt keeps getting in their way. Bandit hits the horn and an instant later, Cledus steps onto the front porch, followed by Waynette. He's wearing a plaid shirt, levis, a large engraved cowboy belt and a thermal vest. WAYNETTE (handing him a thermos) This ain't fair. You're letting him talk you into this. CLEDUS (buttoning shirt) I swear to God, pumpkin; I'll be back before you know it. (sly smile) And then I'll make you glad you was born a woman. WAYNETTE Well, I just might not be waiting this time. Bandit toots again. Waynette gives him "the finger." CLEDUS Honey, please... Don't be this way. You know I'd do anything for you. WAYNETTE Anything? Cledus nods. WAYNETTE Take Fred. CUT TO: GEORGIA HIGHWAY - LATE AFTERNOON The eighteen-wheeler heading west, stacks open. Over: CLEDUS (V.O.) Believe me, man; Fred'll be no problem. BANDIT (V.O.) Yeah, I can tell he's gonna be a major asset. INSIDE THE CAB (DIALOGUE OVERLAPS) Fred, the mutt, lays with his head slumped over Bandit's leg. Cledus is at the wheel, wearing clip-on sunglasses. BANDIT All right, Fred; enough fun. Bandit picks Fred up and dumps him onto the sleeper compartment behind the seats. Then, starts going over a road map. CLEDUS You know of course, we ain't ever gonna make it. BANDIT (not looking up) Quit being so negative, guy; 'course we're gonna make it. We ain't never not made it, have we? CLEDUS No. BANDIT See. CLEDUS Our asses gonna be in a sling if we get caught. BANDIT (looking up, straight to him) And if we don't, they're gonna be riding high in a brand new Kenworth. As "Truck Driving Man" by Red Steagall starts over, Cledus looks at Bandit, sighs -- then punches it. DISSOLVE THRU TO: A SERIES OF LAP DISSOLVES - THE EIGHTEEN-WHEELER roaring down the highway. Music continues, as slowly day becomes night and the truck whizzes across the Alabama and Mississippi State Lines. DISSOLVE THRU TO: THE HIGHWAY - NIGHT The rig is parked on the shoulder under a highway light. Bandit and Cledus stand by the side of the truck, as Fred wanders aimlessly around the grassy knoll off the shoulder. BANDIT (snapping his fingers impatiently) How long's this gonna take? CLEDUS I don't know, man. Ask him? BANDIT (nervously) We gotta let the slack out, Cledus; this is costing us time. CLEDUS If you ask me, I think we should make that run to Choo Choo Town and pick up that load of lumber. Nice. Easy. And within the law. BANDIT Also boring. CLEDUS But I still don't think... Bandit walks away from Cledus in mid-sentence, heading for the rear of the truck. CLEDUS What are you doin' now? BANDIT (starting to open rear doors) Running blocker. CUT TO: THE BACK DOORS OF THE TRUCK As Bandit swings them open, Cledus adjusts one of two ramps that have now been mounted on the rear of the truck's floor. As Cledus kicks the ramp into place, Bandit climbs into the back of the trailer and disappears. After a moment, there is a deafening roar and suddenly, two headlights are GLARING straight at camera. NEW ANGLE A beat and slowly, a full-blown SHELBY COBRA II appears from inside the truck. As it moves slowly down the ramp, we see it has twelve coats of black lacquer, red pinstriping, aluminum mags, twelve-inch Firestones, the works. A mean machine. On the rear bumper is a CB antenna matching the one on the truck. CAMERA FOLLOWS as Bandit guides the Cobra down the ramp. Cledus quickly folds up the ramp and dumps it back into the truck. He slams the metal doors closed and crosses to the Cobra. CLEDUS All right, here's our plan of communication, so as to avoid Smokey. BANDIT Go. CLEDUS Now, if I say go to channel three, it really means go to six. BANDIT (nods) Six. Got it. CLEDUS If I say go to twenty-one, go to nineteen. BANDIT (trying to remember) Twenty-one is nineteen. CLEDUS If I say go to two, it's really one. BANDIT (now totally confused) Two is one. (then) Listen, let's just stay on the odd channels and switch everytime. Start in the basement. Now, let's haul ass. Cledus grabs Fred, who's still peeing and bounds up the metal steps of the cab. As Bandit lays twenty feet of rubber, we: CUT TO: MISSISSIPPI HIGHWAY - NIGHT The Cobra followed by the Eighteen-wheeler whip past camera. (NOTE: From this point on, the Cobra will be referred to as Bandit I. The Eighteen-wheeler as Bandit II.) INSIDE BANDIT I (THE COBRA) The car is cherry. Wooden steering wheel, all leather upholstery stereo tape deck, harness-style seat belts and a CB radio identical to the one in Bandit II. Bandit is talking to Cledus on the CB. BANDIT (into mike) Bandit One, am I hitting you? INTERCUT - BANDIT II (THE EIGHTEEN-WHEELER) Cledus picks up his mike. Fred is now riding shotgun. CLEDUS (into mike) You're wall to wall and tree top tall. BANDIT (into mike) I'm gonna run a couple miles ahead of you. Keep both feet on the floor. We'll be moving ninety and over. CLEDUS (into mike; after a beat) Bandit? BANDIT (into mike) Yeah? CLEDUS (into mike) Why are we doing this? BANDIT (a beat, then into mike) Because they said it couldn't be done. And: DISSOLVE TO: THE HIGHWAY - NIGHT Bandit I and II screaming through the Mississippi night. Over this a driving Doug Kershaw fiddle. INSIDE BANDIT Bandit driving, sipping coffee from a thermos. Sees something. HIS VIEW - UP AHEAD A Mississippi Highway Patrol Car is approaching from the opposite direction. BACK TO BANDIT as he eases up on the pedal and fires up his CB mike. BANDIT (into mike) Bandit Two, do you read me? Bandit glances up in his rear view mirror. ANGLE - THROUGH REAR VIEW MIRROR The Mississippi HPC, zips past Bandit and moves on down the highway. INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II (DIALOGUE OVERLAPS) Cledus picks up his mike. CLEDUS (into mike) Loud and clear. BANDIT (into mike) Pull your hammer back, Smokey's coming at you. Cledus immediately backs off the accelerator and slows down, an instant before the Mississippi HPC passes by. Everything is cool. CLEDUS (into mike) He's history. BANDIT (into mike) Okay, we got a straight shot to T Town, so let her roll. And we: DISSOLVE TO: SERIES OF SHOTS As night slowly begins fading back into day, Bandit I and Bandit II blast across the Arkansas State Line. DISSOLVE TO: THE SUN RISING behind a sign that reads: Welcome to Texarkana, Texas. A beat and two blurs whip past camera. Bandit I and II. CUT TO: THE WAREHOUSE - DAWN Bandit I followed by Bandit II pull into the loading area of a large warehouse. The place is locked up and the loading dock is empty. Bandit and Cledus park their vehicles and climb out. BANDIT Shit! No one's here. CLEDUS (checking watch) That's 'cause we're damn near an hour ahead of schedule. BANDIT Let's keep it that way. Bandit grabs a crowbar from Bandit I and we: CUT TO: INSIDE THE WAREHOUSE Pitch black. A beat, then a loud smash o.s. and the door slides open, sending a stream of light across the warehouse floor. Bandit and Cledus step inside. Bandit crosses to the light switch and hits it. Suddenly the entire room is bathed in flourescent. We see the warehouse is filled with cases upon cases of Coors Beer. CLEDUS (whistles low) Liquid gold. BANDIT (nods) Redneck heaven. They cross back to the large sliding door and as Bandit pushes it open, Cledus jumps into the truck's cab and begins backing the big rig up to the loading dock. CUT TO: THE WAREHOUSE - A FEW MINUTES LATER The rig's doors are open and ready for loading. Cledus and Bandit cross to a brand new fork-lift. CLEDUS You know how to drive one of these things? BANDIT Can a pig whistle? Bandit climbs into the seat of the fork-lift and turns the key. The engine roars to life. He grins and confidently throws it into gear. The fork-lift leaps backward and begins speeding wildly around the warehouse. CLEDUS (yelling) Hit the brakes! BANDIT They're jammed! RUNNING ANGLE - FOLLOWING THE FORK-LIFT as it smashes into stacks of Coors cases, sending them flying in every direction and tossing Bandit out of the seat -- and into the air. NEW ANGLE as Bandit crashes to the ground, surrounded by cases of beer. He looks up to Cledus. BANDIT So much for whistling pigs. CUT TO: INSIDE THE WAREHOUSE - TWENTY MINUTES LATER Bandit II is now almost filled with cases of Coors, as Cledus guides the fork-lift's final load onto the loading dock. He and Bandit unload the final cases and Cledus parks the fork- lift. They look around. The place is a wreck. BANDIT Let's get the hell outta here. CLEDUS Shouldn't we pay 'em for the damages? BANDIT (snaps his fingers) Right. Give me your pen. We'll tell 'em to bill Kyle. As Bandit pulls out a piece of paper and Cledus hands him a pen, we: DISSOLVE TO: THE TEXARKANA CITY LIMITS SIGN - MORNING as again, two blurs flash past camera, moving south. Bandit I and Bandit II -- heading home. DISSOLVE TO: ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - HIGH SHOT It's now mid-morning, as Camera follows Bandit I and II rolling through hog country. OVER: BANDIT (over CB) We still on schedule? CLEDUS (over CB) Forty-two minutes ahead. INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING (DIALOGUE OVERLAPS) Bandit holding the CB mike. BANDIT (into mike) I hate to say I told you so. CLEDUS (into mike) Save it. We got a long haul. BANDIT (into mike) Clear and rolling. He hangs up the mike, then sees something ahead of him he can't believe. WHAT HE SEES Standing in the middle of the highway is a GIRL in a wedding gown. Off to the side, on the shoulder, is a customized Camaro with a "Just Married" sign on the back and strings of tin cans, shoes and streamers. The hood of the Camaro is up. BACK TO SCENE as Bandit eases off the accelerator and starts to move around the Girl. But the Girl moves with him, waving and blocking his path. Bandit's forced to pull off the road and stop. The Girl rushes up to the Cobra and opens the door. GIRL (climbing in) Thanks. BANDIT (it was nothing) Hey... The Girl slams the door and turns to Bandit. She's tall and sophisticated. A hyper New Yorker in her late twenties. KATE McCONNELL. FULL SHOT as Bandit I pulls away in a cloud of dust and squealing tires, a beat-up VAN passes, going the other way. THREE SHITKICKER KIDS are riding in the Van. They watch Bandit leaving the abandoned "Just Married" car and brake to turn around. Bandit and Kate don't notice. INSIDE BANDIT I - DAY - MOVING picking up speed. BANDIT (after a beat) Who's the unlucky guy? Kate takes off her veil and shakes down her hair. She's a beauty. Bandit immediately notices, but keeps driving. She starts talking a mile-a-minute. KATE Okay. I was in Texas dancing in an industrial show for Sunkist Oranges. They say I'm the new Anita Bryant. But I'm really a dancer from New York. A lot of credits. Moderate talent. (rolling on) Anyway, after opening night, I was walking back to the motor lodge and suddenly there he was. A tall Texan with a twenty-nine inch waist. Pure dynamite. BANDIT All sound reasons for matrimony. KATE Look, I'm a twenty-eight year old hoofer who spends most of her time with fags. Besides, I'm impulsive. It runs in the family. We're all crazy. Mind if I smoke? (lights a cigarette) Anyway, today was the 'bid day.' But as I was walking down the aisle, I realized this is total insanity. What am I going to do in Texas the rest of my life? I can't marry Jerry Jeff. I mean, we're eventually gonna have to talk. So, halfway down the aisle, I turned and split. You think I'm nuts, right? BANDIT Absolutely not. In fact, I picked up a bride yesterday; except she was a singer. Suddenly, Cledus interrupts over the CB. CLEDUS Bandit I, do you copy? BANDIT (picking up mike) This is Bandit I, come back. INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II Cledus on the CB. CLEDUS (into mike) Who's the broad? Over. Bandit turns to the Girl. KATE Kate McConnell. BANDIT (into mike) Kate McConnell. Sweet, shy... well- dressed. I'm giving her a lift to the next waterhole. CLEDUS (into mike) Listen, pardner; this ain't no time to be getting laid. KATE (into mike) Believe me, that won't be a problem. CUT TO: BANDIT II Cledus replaces the CB mike and slips Red Simpson's "Motivatin' Man" into the tape deck. CLEDUS Never fails. Bandit gets a chick. I get... He looks over at Fred, who's now passed out in the passenger seat. CUT TO: SHINY STRIP OF CHROME as a pair of plyers rip it off the side of a car and we EASE BACK to see: KATE'S ABANDONED CAMARO still parked along the Arkansas Highway -- now almost completely stripped by the THREE KIDS in the Van. The car is up on jacks, as one of the Kids, rolls the last of the four tires to the rear of the Van. Another kid dumps the chrome stripping into the cab, while the third, unscrews the radio. NEW ANGLE As a TEXAS SHERIFF'S CAR skids to a stop behind them. SHERIFF BUELL CLAYTON climbs out. Fifty. Ruggedly handsome. An imposing figure. CLAYTON Hey! The Kids freeze, as the Sheriff strides up to them. FIRST KID (pleading) I swear to God, officer; the car was. already like this, we were just trying to... But Sheriff Clayton doesn't even notice they've stripped down the entire car. He's got other problems. CLAYTON Did you see the gal who was driving? She was wearing a wedding dress. They all nod, still shaking in their jeans. SECOND KID (eagerly) Yes, sir. She got into a cherry- looking Cobra. CLAYTON You get a look at the driver? FIRST KID No, but he had Georgia plates. BAN- ONE. Clayton turns on his heels and leaps back into the Sheriff's car, muttering to himself. He jams it into gear and peels out in a cloud of dust. The kids exchange bewildered looks, then immediately go back to stripping the Camaro. CUT TO: INSIDE BANDIT I - BANDIT AND KATE Bandit watching the road. Kate watching Bandit. KATE Why're you driving so fast? BANDIT I gotta get back to Atlanta in thirteen hours. KATE Why? You have a bowling date? BANDIT Cute. No, 'cause no one's ever made it from Atlanta to Texarkana and back in twenty-eight hours. KATE Who'd want to? BANDIT I never looked at it that way. (then) You ask a lot of questions. KATE Why are you doing this obviously macho feat? BANDIT For a new Kenworth. That's a truck. KATE (incredulous) A truck? You're doing this for a truck? That's insanity. BANDIT It's not a truck. It's the Rolls Royce of eighteen-wheelers. KATE But you could get killed, right? BANDIT Hey, you could get killed crossing the street. KATE An existentialist. BANDIT (turns to her) A what? KATE Eyes on the road. She lights up another cigarette, as we: CUT TO: A BIRD'S EYE VIEW of an endless stretch of Arkansas Highway. Camera follows two vehicles -- hauling ass. Bandit I, followed a couple of miles back by Bandit II. INSIDE BANDIT I - DAY - MOVING Bandit and Kate. KATE (leaning back in her seat) So tell me about yourself. BANDIT Okay. A beat. Nothing. KATE Well?... BANDIT Whaddya want to know? My sign? KATE No. I want to know what you think about besides ditching Smokey? BANDIT Having fun. KATE Is this fun? BANDIT Driving? KATE Driving, talking to me... BANDIT They're both a challenge. KATE You have a great profile. BANDIT Yeah, I do. Especially from that angle. She laughs. Then: KATE Where you from? BANDIT Mattoon, Illinois. But I moved down south to work in the Civil Rights movement. KATE Seriously?!? BANDIT (obviously lying) Would I lie to you? CUT TO: AN ARKANSAS HIGHWAY PATROL CAR parked off to the side of the highway behind an abandoned and boarded up diner. The Patrol Car is empty and from a little transistor radio hanging on the rear view mirror, Merle Haggard sings, "I Take A Lot Of Pride In What I Am." Camera moves off the Patrol Car and finds it's Driver, an Arkansas Highway Patrolman with crew cut, taking a leak. Suddenly, Bandit I whips past doing at least a hundred and almost blowing the OFFICER over. He quickly zips up and races to his car. BACK TO BANDIT I - MOVING Kate has seen the Cop. Bandit hasn't. KATE Guess what? BANDIT I give up. KATE You just passed your nemesis. He looks at her. KATE Smokey. Bandit glances up in his rear view mirror. WHAT HE SEES - THROUGH REAR VIEW MIRROR the Arkansas Highway Patrol car coming after him, it's advertising twirling and siren wailing. BACK TO SCENE Bandit turns to Kate. BANDIT Better fasten your seat belt. Bandit slams on his brakes, locking all four tires and sending the Cobra into a four wheel drift. KATE (as they're sliding) Good idea. She buckles up, as Bandit grabs for the CB mike. BANDIT (into mike) Bandit Two. I'm gonna leave you for a minute. Back in a flash. INTERCUT - BANDIT II Cledus on the CB mike. CLEDUS (into mike) Keep 'er between the ditches. ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - DAY Bandit I slides broadside down the highway and exits down a dirt road. DIRT ROAD - DAY Bandit I roars down the road, leaving clouds of dust in its wake. HIGHWAY - DAY The Arkansas Highway Patrol car does a 180 in the middle of the highway and takes the dirt road turnoff. DIRT ROAD - DAY Bandit I blasts up the dirt road, leaving trails of billowing dust behind him. The Arkansas Highway Patrol Car in hot pursuit. Over this: KATE (V.O.) What the hell's going on? BANDIT (V.O.) I forget to tell you. I'm running blocker for four hundred cases of illegal brew. A beat, then: KATE (V.O.) And I thought I had problems. INSIDE THE HIGHWAY PATROL CAR - MOVING The windshield of the car is covered with dust. The Officer tries to squint through it, but the dust keeps building up. Finally, he turns on his windshield wipers, making the dust twice as thick. And now he can't see anything. INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING Bandit looks over his shoulder. Nothing but a solid wall of dust. He whips the Cobra around a hairpin turn and floors it. NEW ANGLE The Highway Patrol Car misses the turn and goes off the road. Out of control, the car smashes through a clapboard fence and sails into: A SWAMP It lands with a gigantic splash and water fills the FRAME. INSIDE BANDIT I roaring down the dirt road. Kate is turned around in her seat, looking through the rear window. BANDIT Anything? KATE (turning back around) We're cool. The dumb schmuck took the wrong turn. They both breathe a sigh of relief. KATE Can I ask you something? BANDIT Shoot. KATE What do you want to be when you grow up? Before he can answer: CLEDUS (V.O.) (from CB) Bandit I. Bandit I. Do you read me? As Bandit reaches for the mike to answer Cledus, he glances up. WHAT HE SEES A TRACTOR has moved from behind a tree and is crossing the road directly in front of Bandit I. Bandit tosses the CB mike to Kate with one hand and swerves the wheel to the right with the other. BANDIT (to Kate) Say this is Bandit I. Then, over. As Bandit blasts around the Tractor and down the road, Kate talks into the mike. KATE (into mike) This is Bandit I. Over. INTERCUT - BANDIT II CLEDUS ON THE CB CLEDUS (into mike) Where the hell are you? KATE (into mike) Smokey was on our tail. We had to take a detour to ditch the motherfu... BANDIT (cutting her off) You can't swear on these. CLEDUS (from CB) What's going on, Bandit? Come on. BANDIT (to Kate) Tell him we'll be back on the highway in a second. As Kate starts talking, Fred spots some cows grazing and starts barking like crazy. Cledus can't hear a thing. CLEDUS (to the dog) Shut up, Fred. KATE (to Bandit) Who's Fred? INSIDE CLAYTON'S CAR - DAY - MOVING Sheriff Clayton's been listening to this whole exchange on his CB. KATE (V.O.) Bandit II. We'll be back on the highway in a second. Over. CLEDUS (V.O.) I'll keep my eyeballs peeled. CLAYTON (thin smile) So will I, hoss. So will I. CUT BACK TO: INSIDE BANDIT I Kate replaces the CB mike. KATE (referring to CB) These things are fabulous. A beat. KATE You know, you're not a bad driver. BANDIT You know, you're not a bad passenger. They glance at each other for a moment, then both look away. Back at each other. Then away again. And we: CUT TO: ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - DAY The eighteen-wheel Bandit II, rolling. ANOTHER SECTION OF THE HIGHWAY Sheriff Clayton barrelling down the blacktop. AN EMBANKMENT as Bandit I screeches up over the embankment -- putting him back on the highway. He floors it and they're off. INSIDE BANDIT I - DAY - MOVING Bandit flicks his CB selector to the next odd channel. BANDIT (into mike) Bandit II, do you copy? INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II Cledus picks up the mike. Fred is now snoring. CLEDUS (into mike) This is Bandit II. Now, where the hell are you? BANDIT (into mike) On two lane blacktop. Mile marker six-one. How we doin' on time? CLEDUS (checks watch, then into mike) Thirty-eight minutes ahead of schedule. BANDIT (into mike) What's your twenty? CLEDUS I'm 'bout four miles ahead of you, turkey. BANDIT (into mike) Not for long, you ain't. As Bandit's about to hang up the mike, a NEW VOICE comes on. VOICE (from CB) Breaker. Breaker. BANDIT (into mike) Go breaker. VOICE (from CB) Bandit, I just thought I'd lay a Smokey report on you. BANDIT (into mike) Go head on, breaker. VOICE (from CB) I would say your future's looking dim, boss. BANDIT (into mike, nervous) What's your twenty and what's your handle? VOICE (from CB) My handle's Smokey Bear and I got you by the tail. A SIREN BLASTS behind them, whipping Bandit and Kate around. THEIR VIEW - THRU REAR WINDOW Sheriff Clayton is right on their ass -- no more than three feet away -- his siren wailing and his advertising flashing. BACK TO SCENE Bandit slams down the CB mike. BANDIT (to Kate) That's a Texas cop. What the hell's he doing in Arkansas? KATE (uneasy) I don't know. Maybe Jerry Jeff sent the heat after us. BANDIT (worried) A Texas Bear in Arkansas. (then) Something's up and at this point in my life, I don't want to know what it is. He trounces on it and the Shelby Cobra II springs to life, laying twenty feet of third gear rubber. Suddenly, the Texas Sheriff's car looks like it's standing on jacks. INSIDE SHERIFF'S CAR as Sheriff Clayton floorboards it and takes off after Bandit I. CLAYTON (to himself) I'm gonna get that bastard. No one makes Buell Clayton look like a fool. Let's get going. ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - DAY as Bandit I races past camera. A beat and here comes the Texas Sheriff. Hard and fast. INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING Bandit is all concentration. Both hands on the wheel. Pressing 120 MPH. Kate fumbles for her cigarettes, but they all go flying out of the pack. One lands on her lap. She lights it. BANDIT'S VIEW up ahead, the big rear end of Bandit II. BACK TO SCENE Bandit fires up his CB and flips to the next odd channel. BANDIT (into mike) I'm whipping around you, Bandit II. Smokey on the rubber. INSIDE BANDIT II - MOVING Cledus looks up ahead. HIS VIEW Traffic. Coming head on. BACK TO CLEDUS keying the mike. CLEDUS (into mike) You're gonna have to create your own lane, buddy. You got oncoming. INSIDE BANDIT Bandit turns to Kate. She shrugs and closes her eyes. He floors it. KATE (a mile-a-minute) You know, my mother was a dancer, too. Her big shot was the touring company of 'Brigadoon.' She's been married three times. To a redneck, a poet and her tennis instructor. (not missing a beat) See, I motor-mouth when I get nervous. I was nervous when I first got into the car. Now I'm scared shitless. BANDIT Believe me, there's nothing to be afraid of. With that, Bandit flies off the highway, onto the shoulder. Kate closes her eyes even tighter. FULL SHOT as Bandit pulls alongside the big eighteen-wheeler, hanging onto the shoulder for his life. HIS VIEW up ahead -- a dirt road crossing. He'll never make it past the huge eighteen-wheeler in time. NEW ANGLE as Bandit I hits the dirt road crossing, flies into the air, comes down, smashes into a highway sign and sends it splintering twenty feet into the air. Before he can whip the wheel around, Bandit is staring at an endless row of rural mailboxes. Kate turns her head, as Bandit I mows down the mailboxes. Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Bandit drops the Cobra into first, zooms past Bandit II and sails back onto the highway. BANDIT Still with me? Kate slowly opens her eyes. She's alive. ANGLE - SHERIFF CLAYTON'S CAR trapped behind the huge eighteen-wheeler. Clayton pulls out in an attempt to squeeze between Bandit II and the oncoming traffic. Brakes squeal, as SEVEN CARS are forced to hit the side shoulder. Just as Clayton moves halfway past the eighteen- wheeler, Cledus puts on the press -- edging Sheriff Clayton over. Clayton's rear fender catches on the rig and rips off with a terrifying SCREECH. As his fender bounces down the highway, Clayton pulls in front of Bandit II a split-second before an oncoming BUS almost creams him. INSIDE BANDIT II Cledus sees the passing car is Texas heat and immediately flips over to the next odd channel and keys up his CB. CLEDUS (into mike) Bandit I, do I have copy? INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II Bandit's pushing the red line on his speedometer and gestures for Kate to pick up the CB mike. KATE (into mike) Yeah, Bandit II, Que pasa? CLEDUS (into mike) That's a Texas bubble gum machine on your back porch. KATE (has no idea what he just said) What's he... Bandit grabs the mike. BANDIT (driving and talking) Uh, Cledus; I noticed. He starts to hang it up. CLEDUS (V.O.) (from CB) What's a Texas Smokey doing in Arkansas, man? BANDIT (yelling into mike) If I knew, Cledus; I'd be on College Bowl. Bandit slams down the mike and the accelerator. HIGHWAY - DAY and the chase is on. High speed. Way over a hundred. Two blurs through the Arkansas countryside. INSIDE CLAYTON'S CAR Sheriff Clayton is on his police radio. CLAYTON (into mike) This is Sheriff Clayton. In pursuit of a black Shelby Cobra, Georgia license Boy-Adam-Nora. Ocean-Nora- Eddie. Request assistance. CUT TO: TWO ARKANSAS SHERIFF'S CARS blasting off down the highway in response. Lights twirling. Sirens wailing. INSIDE THE LEAD CAR - MOVING SHERIFF WILLY BRANFORD is riding shotgun. He's fat and arrogant. He chews bubble gum as he talks on the radio mike. A DEPUTY is driving. He's twenty-five, wears long sideburns and mirrored sunglasses. BRANFORD (into mike) This is Sheriff Branford of Crossett County. We're already on this joker's case. (he pops a bubble) I got two units intercepting him at Hamburg crossing. You say you was a Sheriff? INTERCUT - SHERIFFS CLAYTON AND BRANFORD Clayton has trouble steering and talking. CLAYTON (into mike) That's a big ten-four. Sheriff Buell Clayton. Texas. BRANFORD (stunned, into mike) Texas? What the hell you doing in my goddam county?!? At that instant, Clayton hits a rut in the road and drops his mike. He bends to pick it up and the car slides off the shoulder. Before he can regain control, Clayton's headed straight for: AN ABANDONED FRUIT AND VEGETABLE STAND Clayton's car crashes through the stand -- flattening it. RUNNING ANGLE He blasts out on the other side, now sporting one busted headlight and a dented grill. Somehow he manages to make it back to the road, losing a hubcap on the way. BRANFORD (over CB) I said... CLAYTON (picking up mike off floor) I heard what you said. And I said... BRANFORD (cutting him cold) I don't care what you said. You're from Texas and what you said don't mean jack diddly here in Arkansas! Clayton slams down the mike. ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - DAY - HIGH SHOT Bandit I whips around a treacherous bend in the highway, leaving Sheriff Clayton in the distance. INSIDE SHERIFF BRANFORD'S CAR The Arkansas Sheriff is mad. He spits his gum out the window -- but it's closed. The gum falls back in his lap. He looks at it, then pops it back in his mouth again and turns to his Deputy. BRANFORD What the hell you looking at? Before the Deputy can answer, Clayton's voice is back. CLAYTON (V.O.) (radio) This is Sheriff Clayton again. I lost the Cobra, but he's deadheaded toward you doing damn near 140. If I was you I'd set up a roadblock. BRANFORD (grabbing mike) -- And if I was you, I wouldn't be telling me what to do! Now take a hike, buster!!! (he angrily hangs up the mike and turns to his Deputy) Block the road. HIGHWAY - DAY - HIGH SHOT The two Arkansas Sheriff's cars slow down and form a roadblock. Branford and his Deputy climb out of the car. Branford spits out his gum, as two other DEPUTIES climb out of the second car. The four officers move behind their cars. To wait. A SPEEDOMETER The needle pressing 120. Ease back and we're: INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING as Bandit turns to Kate, who's looking out the rear window. BANDIT Well? KATE We lost him. Bandit sighs relief, then: A VOICE (from CB) Bandit do you read me? BANDIT (picking up mike) This is Bandit, you're coming in long and strong. VOICE (from CB) My handle's Silver Tongued Devil and I'm here to tell you, your fellow CB'ers are mighty proud of y'all. BANDIT Thanks much, Silver Tongued Devil. SILVER TONGUED DEVIL (from CB) But I got a bad Bear story. Bandit and Kate look at each other. SILVER TONGUED DEVIL I just rolled past a county mounty roadblock down on eighty-two. BANDIT (into mike) Thanks Silver Tongued Devil, we'll avoid. SILVER TONGUED DEVIL (from CB) Keep the wheels spinning and the beavers grinning. BANDIT (into mike) Adios. He hangs up the mike. KATE (referring to Silver Tongued Devil) Classy guy. Bandit grins and takes a curve at 90. Then they both look up. WHAT THEY SEE The roadblock. No way around it. BACK TO SCENE Bandit looks ahead down both sides of the highway. Thinks quick. HIGHWAY - DAY - HIGH SHOT as Bandit I comes roaring down the highway headed directly for the roadblock. A farmhouse is off to the side, about a hundred yards before the roadblock. NEW ANGLE Bandit I swerves off the highway, throwing itself into a broadside. The car lurches onto the Farmhouse driveway and barrels across the front yard. It snaps a clothesline full of clothes, sending bras, panties, shirts and socks flying in every direction. It then crashes through a chicken yard and corral fence, sending whatever animals are available -- flying toward freedom. RACING ANGLE as Bandit I roars across a fruit orchard, weaving in and around rows and rows of trees, finally slamming onto an access road and back onto the highway -- way ahead of the roadblock! BRANFORD AND HIS MEN stand there like statues with their mouths hanging open. A beat, then all four cops race toward their cars, leap in and take off. INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING a rattled Kate turns to Bandit. She's about to speak, but sees his intense concentration and says nothing. THEIR VIEW - THE HIGHWAY up ahead. Coming straight at them, down the center of the road -- another Arkansas Sheriff's car. BANDIT Christ, it looks like a Smokey convention. BACK TO SCENE Bandit whips the wheel to the right and again, the Cobra is airborne -- flying off the highway, careening down the shoulder, through a creek and up onto another dirt road. THE SHERIFF'S CAR spins around in the middle of the highway -- almost flipping over in the process -- straightens out and takes off over the shoulder after Bandit I. CAMERA PANS back to the highway. As Sheriff Branford's two Patrol cars come blasting down the highway. They stop at the shoulder. A beat. Then they take off over the shoulder in pursuit. CAMERA PANS back again. As Sheriff Clayton's Texas Highway Patrol car skids to a stop. INSIDE CLAYTON'S CAR Clayton surveys the situation. Bandit I roaring along the dirt road -- the three Arkansas Sheriff cars on his tail. He makes a decision. CLAYTON (muttering to himself) We'll meet again, Bandit. And he floors it taking off down the highway. CUT TO: THE DIRT ROAD - MOVING - HIGH SHOT as the three Arkansas Sheriff's cars race after Bandit I. They're on a treacherously narrow road. On both sides -- a long sheer drop -- to water. INSIDE SHERIFF BRANFORD'S CAR His Deputy is doing at least 80, as he pulls within a few feet of the lead car. The Deputy angrily honks his horn. DEPUTY I'm gonna pass this fruit! BRANFORD Just back off the hammer, boy. DEPUTY But sir, he's gonna get away. BRANFORD He ain't gonna get nothin' but a brief mention in the obituary column. The Deputy turns to him, not understanding. BRANFORD (with a smile) The bridge up ahead is out. HIGH SHOT - THE NARROW DIRT ROAD The four cars kicking up dust for miles. CREEK - DAY - FULL SHOT where the dirt road ends. But the bridge that once crossed the banks -- is gone. A beat and Bandit I comes roaring straight toward the creek. INSIDE BANDIT I Bandit and Kate see the creek. No bridge. End of the road. Bandit barely has time to hit the brakes, sending the Cobra into a wild fishtail. Kate desperately braces herself, hanging onto the dashboard. FULL SHOT as Bandit wheels the Cobra a full 360° and comes to a halt. He looks back. HIS VIEW - DOWN THE ROAD a half mile back, the Arkansas Sheriff's are coming on fast. Sirens blasting. The choices are simple. Give up. Or jump the creek. BANDIT (turning to Kate) Listen, we can either give up or... Kate holds the dashboard tighter and closes her eyes. KATE Just do it. THE CREEK - DAY Bandit slams the Cobra into first and takes off. Gears grind. Tires screech. INSIDE BANDIT I The speedometer whizzes past eighty. Bandit holds the wheel tight. Kate takes a breath, then crosses herself. RACING ANGLE as Bandit I blasts toward the embankment, hits the dirt incline and suddenly is airborne. FULL SHOT - THE CREEK Bandit I in mid-air. NEW ANGLE as Bandit I sails over camera and comes crashing down on the other side. They made it! INSIDE BANDIT I as Bandit and Kate catch their breath. BANDIT Your honeymoon would've never been this exciting. KATE I don't know. We were planning on seeing the Astrodome. Bandit grins and as they take off: CAMERA PANS BACK to the creek. As the first Sheriff's car comes roaring toward the edge doing at least 95. He sees the bridge is out, hits his brakes, goes broadside and flies over the side -- into the creek. A beat and Sheriff Branford's car comes wailing down the road. The Deputy slams down his brakes in the nick of time and the car skids halfway over the edge -- hanging suspended in mid-air halfway over the creek. ANOTHER ANGLE as the Third Sheriff's car comes barrelling down the road, spots Branford's car hanging over the edge and brakes. But its rear end slings around, smashing into the rear of Branford's car, sending it flying into the creek. A huge splash, then: CUT TO: INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING as they roar off the dirt road, back onto the highway, Bandit reaches for the CB mike. BANDIT (to himself) Christ, what channel are we on?... KATE Eleven. Bandit looks at Kate as she reaches under the seat for one of her errant cigarettes. Then, he punches in eleven. BANDIT (into mike) Bandit II. Bandit II. Give me a shout. INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II Cledus grabs the mike quickly. Fred has been gnawing on the corner of the front seat. CLEDUS (into mike) I hope that's you, buddy; 'cause I'd hate to start believing in ghosts. BANDIT (into mike) What does the old Timex say? CLEDUS (into mike) She's losing minutes so you better start running interference or we're never gonna make it. Might I remind you this was your brainstorm. BANDIT (into mike) I'll drop off my fare, hit a quick choke-and-puke and be blocking for you pronto. Kate tries not to react to this. CLEDUS (into mike) Bandit? BANDIT (into mike) Yeah, guy? CLEDUS (into mike) Pick up a burger for Fred. He's going crazy. (slaps Fred on the butt) Bandit puts the mike back and turns to Kate. Feels he should say something. Before he can: KATE You heard the man. Step on it. Bandit studies her for a moment, then stomps on it. CUT TO: A TRUCK STOP CAFE - A FEW MINUTES LATER Bandit I pulls in between a row of eighteen-wheelers parked in front of the cafe. A few Truckers, bragging about their rigs, check out Bandit and Kate. They're especially taken with Kate's wedding gown. She and Bandit are oblivious to them. BANDIT (turns to Kate) The bus'll pick you up over there. (a beat) Uh... you got enough bread for a ticket? KATE Enough to get to Jersey. I'll walk the rest of the way. I've been sitting a long time. (a beat) Nice meeting you. It's been a trip. BANDIT (it was nothing) Hey... KATE Enjoy your Kenworth. She offers her hand and they shake. Then, Bandit heads toward the truck stop and Kate to the bus stop. He turns and looks back. She doesn't. CUT TO: INSIDE THE TRUCK STOP about fifteen Truckers inside. Buck Owens playing on the juke box. Pinball machines going strong. Bandit walks in and crosses to the counter. A hot-looking WAITRESS with ratted hair and painted face stands in front of a blackboard where the menu of the day is written. She straightens herself and crosses to Bandit. WAITRESS (coming on) What's your pleasure? BANDIT (quickly) Couple of cheeseburgers, no condiments... WAITRESS No what? BANDIT Nothing on 'em and two cups of mud; one while I'm waiting. Bandit crosses to a booth, as a couple of TRUCKERS enter and join another TRUCKER sitting in the booth next to Bandit. TRUCKER #1 Jesus, Richmond; you look like squirrel shit. TRUCKER #2 You wanna drive fourteen hundred miles for these cheap bastards? I feel like leaving my rig in the middle of the highway and tellin' them to kiss my antenna. TRUCKER #1 I know what you mean, good buddy. The Waitress comes over with Bandit's coffee. He pours in a ton of sugar and stirs. As he takes a sip, he hears: WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.) Hi. Bandit whips around. WHAT HE SEES Kate. Standing in front of him -- sans wedding dress. She's now wearing tight jeans and a denim shirt with the bottom rolled up and knotted above her midriff. She looks foxier than ever. KATE (with a southern drawl) The bus ain't passin' through these here parts for a piece. (sliding into booth) I know. You only have a second. CLOSER ANGLE as they sit across from each other. KATE They wouldn't take Master Charge so I traded in my gown. The Waitress comes by. WAITRESS (snippy; to Kate) Coffee? KATE Please. Bandit watches as she takes a sip. KATE Jesus!!! BANDIT Trucker coffee. It's three times stronger. Good for a hundred miles. That, a coupla perks, and you can leap tall buildings in a single bound. WAITRESS (calling O.S.) Order up! BANDIT That's me. He gulps down a half a cup of coffee and rises. BANDIT See ya, Kate. KATE Ciao. TRACK WITH BANDIT moving quickly to the counter to pick up his order. Behind him; we notice one of the Truckers from the next booth gets up and crosses to Kate. Bandit reaches in his pocket to pay for the order: WAITRESS (seductive) Sure I can't interest you in anything else? BANDIT (smiles) Another time. Bandit picks up his order and turns toward the door. He sees the Trucker talking to Kate. The Trucker's buddies have turned around in their booth and are all over her. Bandit sets the food down on the counter and crosses to the booth. KATE (to Truckers) -- Believe me, fellas; I'd love to schmoos, but... TRUCKER #1 Don't be so conceited. You don't even know us. TRUCKER #2 (an ugly dude) To know us, is to love us. Bandit steps between them. BANDIT Hey, how y'all doin'? TRUCKER #2 Who wants to know? BANDIT Listen, guys; I'm in a rush. Otherwise I'd arrange it so they had to carry you outta here in doggie bags. TRUCKER #1 You and what goddamn army? The Truckers all turn to Bandit, ready to mop the floor with him. The restaurant is silent, except for Willie Nelson, now singing on the juke box. Every eye is on them. A brawl looks inevitable. KATE (worried) Bandit, please... TRUCKER #2 (totally surprised, almost yelling) Bandit?!? You're the Bandit? The fella been runnin' the blue troopers ragged? Bandit looks around self-consciously. Nods. TRUCKER #2 Lemme shake your hand, boy! You're my new goddamn idol. TRUCKER #1 (slapping Bandit on the back) You're the rage of CB land. We been followin' you for hours. TRUCKER #2 If we'da known you was the Bandit, we wouldn't a never lipped off to your old lady. BANDIT Well, she's not exactly my... TRUCKER #3 (jumping in) Lemme have your autograph, hoss! Everyone in the restaurant crowds around Bandit and he starts hurriedly signing autographs. KATE I've done twenty-eight Broadway shows and no one's ever asked me for an autograph. Then: BANDIT (to the group, starting off) Listen, guys, I gotta cover ground. I'm due in Atlanta in less than ten hours. TRUCKER #1 Good luck. TRUCKER #2 Give our best to Jimmy Carter. Kate slips out of the booth, as Bandit crosses back to the counter. ANGLE - COUNTER Bandit grabs his order and finds the OWNER facing him -- holding out Bandit's money. OWNER It's on the house. BANDIT (grins) Thanks. He turns to leave. OWNER Son... Bandit turns back. OWNER Godspeed. Bandit smiles. Then starts out. He notices Kate is gone. Shrugs. Heads out the door. OUTSIDE THE TRUCK STOP - DAY Bandit bolts out in time to see his Cobra pulling out, about to take off. NEW ANGLE as Bandit leaps off the steps and races toward the car, just as it peels out. He swings the passenger door open and is half in -- half out, as the Cobra skids out the truck stop, over the curb and onto the highway. The door's still wide open. Bandit hanging on. INSIDE BANDIT I Kate's behind the wheel. She tromps on it and the car takes off like greased lightening. Bandit's struggling to stay in the car. BANDIT (hanging on) What the hell are you doing?!? KATE (gestures over her shoulder) He's after us again! Kate whips around a corner almost throwing Bandit onto the pavement. He grabs her arm and manages to pull himself into the car and slam the door. He looks back. HIS VIEW - THRU REAR WINDOW Sheriff Clayton's Texas Highway Patrol car is after them again. Siren blasting. BACK TO SCENE Bandit turns to Kate. BANDIT You know this guy, don't you? KATE (driving hard, eyes on the road) I've never seen him before in my life. I'm just trying to help you out. BANDIT By stealing my car? KATE I would've come back for you. BANDIT (not believing) Yeah. KATE (turning to him, dead serious) Yeah. She wraps a corner doing 60, hits the highway and puts it to the floor. Clayton's battered up car is still coming on strong. INSIDE THE CLAYTON'S CAR - MOVING Sheriff Clayton's eyes are glazed as he tears after Bandit I. CLAYTON (to himself) I'm gonna get you, you dirty, stinking, rotten sumbitch. BACK TO BANDIT Kate at the wheel. KATE Look, the truth is, I didn't want to be dumped at the truck stop. I wanted to go on with you. I needed an excuse. BANDIT You could've asked. KATE You might have said no. I have trouble handling rejection. THE HIGHWAY Bandit I streaks past, Kate driving. A beat and a big rig, hauling a crane comes out of a side road. The truck moves slowly down the highway -- a wide load. SHERIFF CLAYTON'S CAR roaring up. INSIDE THE CAR Clayton floors it and hunches low over the wheel as he passes the truck -- afraid the crane's going to take off his head. FULL SHOT as Sheriff Clayton's car zooms under the crane, clearing it by a hair. But the crane rips off Clayton's lights and siren. Leaving only wires and a gaping hole in the roof of the car. ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - DAY Bandit I streaking. Kate takes a dangerous curve doing 85. Bandit gasps, but Kate holds her own. BANDIT Where did you learn how to drive like this? KATE Like what? He smiles. KATE My first father was a redneck. He taught me how to drive fast and pants people. Bandit picks up the CB mike, flicking the crystal selector two stops. BANDIT (into mike) Breaker, this is Bandit I, how are your vocal cords? INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II Cledus takes his mike. Fred is on all fours in the now chewed- up front seat. Bouncing around. CLEDUS (into mike) My vocal cords are fine, but Fred's ain't. He's been barking, eating the seats and driving me crackers. (Fred barks) Hear that? Where's his chow? BANDIT (into mike) On its way. Give me a coupla minutes, okay? CLEDUS (into mike) Do I have a choice? BANDIT (into mike) What's your twenty? CLEDUS (into mike) 'Bout fourteen miles this side of Mississippi. CLEDUS' VIEW up ahead -- an Arkansas Highway Patrol car is parked off to the side, hidden by a clump of Magnolia Trees. BACK TO SCENE Cledus brings it down to 55 and rolls past TWO OFFICERS standing next to their car, holding a radar gun. CLEDUS (into mike) I just passed two Kojacks with a Kodak. (then) Man, this highway's crawling with Bears. Ain't no way we gonna make Atlanta on time without you runnin' blocker. Bandit looks back over his shoulder. Then: BANDIT (into mike) I'm still trying to ditch this Texas Smokey. I don't know what the sucker wants. CLEDUS (into mike) What they all want -- to handcuff a hero. BANDIT (into mike) As far as John Law knows, I'm just a joy ridin' Georgia redneck. We keep 'em outta your backyard, we're cool. (looking back again) Now just give me five to ditch this idiot and I'll meet you in Ole Miss. CLEDUS (into mike) If you don't, we can kiss that Kenworth good-bye. Bandit replaces the mike, glances up to the rear view. HIS VIEW - THROUGH REAR VIEW MIRROR Sheriff Clayton -- gaining ground. BACK TO SCENE They're speeding around curves now, Kate doing her best to control the Cobra. She takes a corner too fast and too wide. Bandit I drifts into the oncoming lane and suddenly they're staring at: A CAMPER coming straight at them. A Mother, Father and Two Children all riding in the front seat. FULL SHOT Kate swerves back into her lane, avoiding a head-on by less than a split second. BANDIT I think we should switch seats. He puts his hands on the steering wheel and his foot on the accelerator, but he and Kate get tangled up trying to make the switch. The car goes out of control -- smashes into a guard railing and bounces back onto the highway. They try to switch again. Impossible. BANDIT (fastening seat belt) You go ahead. This seat's more comfortable. THE HIGHWAY - DAY - HIGH SHOT Bandit I streaking, followed in the distance by the Texas Highway Patrol car. Coming down the highway, from the opposite direction -- is a long, long, long FUNERAL PROCESSION. Suddenly, Bandit I swerves to the right and starts across the highway. BANDIT (V.O.) Mississippi's the other way! KATE (V.O.) You want to lose this putz or not?!? With that, Bandit I zips between two limos heading the Funeral Procession, crosses the highway, sails over the embankment and swerves onto a bumpy dirt path. CAMERA WHIPS BACK to Sheriff Clayton's car -- roaring straight at us. INSIDE CLAYTON'S CAR Sheriff Clayton spots Bandit I across the highway, flying down the bumpy dirt path. He hits his brakes and the car screeches to a halt. ANGLE - CLAYTON forced to sit and wait, as the Funeral Procession passes slowly by. He's livid. Lays on the horn. THE HIGHWAY - DAY as the vehicles in the passing lane are all forced to come to a halt to avoid crashing into Clayton -- who sits in the middle of the highway waiting for the endless Funeral Procession to pass. Horns honk. People yell. Clayton waits. THE BUMPY DIRT PATH Bandit I bounces along, past rows and rows of tall Magnolia trees. INSIDE BANDIT Kate and Bandit bouncing from seat to ceiling. KATE (motor-mouthing) -- You know, I used to be a high fashion model. Tried it for six months and almost freaked. Makeup, silly clothes, a little man saying 'darling' every two seconds... BANDIT Yeah, it's tough when your cheek- bones are your main asset. KATE (nods, then sees something O.S.) Uh-oh. WHAT SHE SEES up ahead. The path ends. There's an incline and past that a long low fence. There's no way around or past it. BACK TO SCENE Kate and Bandit look back. The Funeral Procession has almost passed. Clayton's is waiting. Gunning his engine. He ain't giving up. BANDIT I think you'd better let me... Before Bandit can finish, Kate trounces on it, driving straight toward the fence. RACING ANGLE as Bandit I blasts toward the incline, hits it doing 70 and sails over the fence. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE we HEAR the CRACK of a baseball bat and a CENTER FIELDER, in full uniform, takes off after a long fly ball. He stops in his tracks at what he sees. REVERSE ANGLE as Bandit I flies over the fence and lands in the middle of a MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME. The Center Fielder is absolutely flabbergasted, as Kate straightens out the Shelby Cobra and takes off across the baseball field. She roars over second base and does a 360° fishtail in the middle of the pitchers mound. PLAYERS scatter in every direction. NEW ANGLE - MOVING as Kate speeds past the dugout and a CHEERING CROWD, back to an access road. Up ahead. The highway. And safety. INSIDE BANDIT I Kate looks over to Bandit, a huge grin on her face. KATE Baseball needs a little pizzazz. BACK ON THE HIGHWAY The Funeral Procession finally passes and Clayton zooms across the highway and onto the bumpy dirt path. BACK ON THE DIRT PATH Sheriff Clayton's car comes to a sliding halt in front of the fence. He looks around for some sign of Bandit I. Nothing. They've vanished. CLAYTON (to himself) This is beginning to piss me off. The path is far too narrow to turn around, so as he begins the arduous chore of driving in reverse down the long narrow path, knocking off his remaining hub caps on the way, we: CUT TO: HIGHWAY SIGN reading Welcome to Mississippi. A black streak whizzes past. INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING Kate still at the wheel. Bandit on the CB. BANDIT (into mike) -- Gimme a twenty, pardner. CLEDUS (V.O.) (from CB) I'm at marker eight-five. BANDIT (into mike) Son-of-a-gun. Me too. BANDIT II moving along the highway. Cledus looks out the sideview window of the big eighteen-wheeler. HIS VIEW - THROUGH SIDEVIEW MIRROR Bandit I coming up to his back door. BACK TO SCENE as Cledus signals with his arm and pulls the, rig off to the side of the road. The door opens and Cledus climbs down the metal steps of the truck, followed by Fred. They both take a long, healthy stretch, as Bandit I pulls to a stop behind them. NEW ANGLE Bandit and Kate get out of the Cobra. Cledus is surprised to see her. She immediately crosses to him and offers her hand. KATE I'm Kate. You must be Cledus. CLEDUS (shaking hands, awkwardly) Yes, ma'am. KATE How's your twenty? Cledus doesn't get it. Bandit laughs, unwraps the hamburger. BANDIT Here you go, pal. He holds the hamburger out for the dog, who wolfs it down in one bite, then goes off to relieve himself. Cledus takes Bandit by the arm and pulls him aside. CLEDUS I thought you were dumping the chick at the truck stop. BANDIT I ran into complications. CLEDUS I hate to say it... BANDIT Then don't. CLEDUS (rolling on) -- But everytime we've ever messed up, it's because your rhyme's over- ruling your reason. I know you think you're God's gift to waitresses, but... BANDIT (interupts) Just don't worry about it. (then) How we doin' timewise? CLEDUS Not good enough to be standing here shooting the bull. BANDIT (turns to leave) We're gone. CLEDUS Bandit? Bandit turns to him. CLEDUS (referring to Kate) Nice ass. Bandit grins, moves to the car. BANDIT (whistles to Kate) Let's hit it. KATE (crossing to Bandit I) Nice meeting you, Cledus. Keep on truckin'. Cledus smiles, as Bandit and Kate climb into the Cobra. Bandit starts the engine and they're off. Cledus pulls a crowbar out of the rig and begins hitting all his tires. Checking them out. As he does this: CLEDUS (calling) Let's roll, Fred. Cledus finishes the tires, but Fred isn't moving. CLEDUS C'mon, Fred. Nothing. The dog stares at him. Cledus takes a step forward. Fred takes a step backward. Cledus takes two steps forward. And Fred takes off. Running through the woods. CLEDUS (running after him) Fred!!!!!! CUT TO: INSIDE BANDIT I rolling. They're silent for a long time. Then: KATE You plan on driving trucks all your life? BANDIT No, actually I was thinking of becoming a brain surgeon. She laughs, as we: CUT BACK TO: CLEDUS CHASING FRED through the woods. As he's about to nab him, the Dog cuts right and Cledus sprawls left. CUT BACK TO: INSIDE BANDIT I Kate and Bandit. Talking. More relaxed. BANDIT -- Trucking ain't the easiest life in the world. I mean, you can't make it much past fifty and you sure as shit don't get a gold watch when you hang it all up. But I like keeping on the move. You know? KATE Do I know? I'm an authority on it. BANDIT I guess if there's one lesson I've learned, it's that even misery has a tough time hitting a moving target. (then, realizing) I forgot your question? KATE You plan on driving trucks all your life? BANDIT (shrugs) I... uh... I don't know. I guess don't like to think about it. KATE Then let's change the subject. (a beat) What do you think about forced school busing? And: CUT BACK TO: CLEDUS RACING AFTER FRED gaining ground. A flying tackle. And he snares him. Cledus is out of breath and pissed. Fred licks his face. CUT BACK TO: INSIDE BANDIT I Bandit spots a green sedan with a radio-mike antenna coming in the other direction. He backs off the accelerator. KATE Your foot fall asleep? Bandit shakes his head, reaching for the CB. BANDIT (into mike) Bandit two, Smokey in a plain brown wrapper coming your way. Over. No answer from Cledus. Kate has no idea what Bandit's just said. BANDIT (explaining to Kate) An unmarked police car. KATE How do you know? BANDIT I know. (into mike) Bandit two, bring yourself on in. Still no answer. BANDIT (into mike) What's the matter, Cledus? You got mike fright? (a beat, then) Bandit two, do you copy? INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II Cledus, exhausted and sweaty, tosses Fred into the eighteen- wheeler and lunges for the CB mike. CLEDUS (into mike) Yeah, yeah, yeah? What's up? Bandit glances up in the rear view mirror, sees the Smokey in a plain wrapper take an off ramp. Harmless. BANDIT (into mike) Never mind. It's nothing. CLEDUS (into mike) Anything else you don't want me to know? BANDIT (into mike) Nope. Just keep those wheels churning. Cledus hangs up the mike, starts his rig, checks for oncoming and pulls onto the highway. Fred's head sticks out the window, his ears flapping in the wind. DISSOLVE TO: THE HIGHWAY - DAY - AERIAL SHOT Bandit I and Bandit II whizzing down the highway. Picking up time. OVER this, Kate sings "Jolene" along with Dolly Parton on the radio. DISSOLVE TO: INSIDE BANDIT I - LATER Bandit notices a broken-down FORD with its hood up, parked off the highway. He veers the Cobra off the road, quickly opens the glove compartment, takes out two screwdrivers and hands one to Kate. She stops singing. BANDIT (explaining) I'm sure the Arkansas Bears put out an all-points. KATE (opening door) You take the front, I'll take the back. QUICK CUT TO: A MISSISSIPPI LICENSE PLATE fills the screen. Then the screeching of burning rubber and Bandit I pulls away from camera -- now wearing the Mississippi plates. And we: DISSOLVE THRU TO: A SERIES OF LAP DISSOLVES Bandit I running blocker for Bandit II. Hauling ass. OVER this: A POLICE CALL (thick Mississippi drawl) All units, be on the look out for a black 1976 Shelby Cobra, Georgia license... And as the voice FADES, we: DISSOLVE TO: MISSISSIPPI HIGHWAY - DAY Later. Bandit I and II. Rolling. Over: BANDIT (V.O.) Bandit two, I gotta make a quick pit stop. CLEDUS (V.O.) Now what? BANDIT (V.O.) We're outta motion lotion. CLEDUS (V.O.) I'll keep streaking. Pick me up. Bandit I takes an off ramp, as Bandit II continues sailing down the highway. UNION 76 STATION off the main highway. Bandit I pulls up to one of several islands in the large station. Trucks are gassing up at various pumps. BANDIT I Kate climbs out. KATE Save my seat. She starts toward the Ladies Room as a young BLACK ATTENDANT struts up to Bandit I. ATTENDANT Say, Cobra: what's your pleasure? BANDIT Fill it. ATTENDANT Check the hood, my man? Bandit shakes his head "no." ATTENDANT Aw right. This is a clean machine. Yeah, I was thinking 'bout getting me one of these myself. But I figure I'm conspicuous enough to the police as it is, so why encourage them more, if you know what I mean. BANDIT Yeah, I know what you mean. The Attendant starts pumping Supreme. Bandit leans back in the seat. Closes his eyes. Suddenly, from his CB. A VOICE (over CB) Bandit, do you read me? Over. Bandit snaps his eyes open. Who the hell is this? He grabs his mike. BANDIT (into mike) This is Bandit. Who we got on that end? INTERCUT - SHERIFF CLAYTON - TIGHT The Texas Sheriff looks tired -- obsessed. CLAYTON (into mike) Just the man who's gonna see you driven to your knees! Sheriff Buell Clayton from Texas. BANDIT (into mike) Not that I don't have any respect for the law, but what's your problem, man? CLAYTON (into mike) You. BANDIT (into mike) Yeah, well I kinda figured that. CLAYTON (into mike) You know, you may think you're gonna get away, but I promise you, everytime you turn around, I'll be there,