RAISING ARIZONA Screenplay by Ethan Coen Joel Coen OVER BLACK: VOICE OVER My name is H. I. McDunnough... A WALL With horizontal hatch lines. VOICE OVER ...Call me Hi. A disheveled young man in a gaily colored Hawaiian shirt is launched into frame by someone offscreen. He holds a printed paddle that reads "NO. 1468-6 NOV. 29 79." The hatch marks on the wall behind him are apparently height markers. VOICE OVER ...The first time I met Ed was in the county lock-up in Tempe, Arizona... FLASH As his picture is taken. CLOSEUP On the paddle: "NOV. 29 79." VOICE OVER ...a day I'll never forget. A bellowing male voice from offscreen: SHERIFF Don't forget the profile, Ed! ANGLE ON THE STILL CAMERA It is mounted on a tripod. A pretty young woman in a severe police uniform peers out from behind it. WOMAN Turn to the right. HI What kind of name is Ed for a pretty thing like you? ED Short for Edwinna. Turn to the right! HI obliges, but still looks at Ed out of the corner of his eye. HI You're a flower, you are. Just a little desert flower. FLASH On his eye-skewed profile. HI Lemme know how those come out. LOW ANGLE CELL BLOCK CORRIDOR As Hi is escorted away from the camera toward his cell. At the far end of the corridor a huge con is sluggishly mopping the floor. VOICE OVER I was in for writing hot checks which, when businessmen do it, is called an overdraft. I'm not complainin', mind you; just sayin' there ain't no pancake so thin it ain't got two sides. Now prison life is very structured - more than most people care for... INTERCUTTING HI'S POV of the MOPPING CON, tracking as he approaches, and the Mopping Con's POV of Hi as Hi approaches. VOICE OVER ...But there's a spirit of camaraderie that exists between the men, like you find only in combat maybe... The Mopping Con snarls as Hi passes: CON Grrrr... VOICE OVER ...or on a pro ball club in the heat of a pennant drive. NEWSREEL FOOTAGE A ballplayer connects - THWOCK - for a home run and the crowd roars. PRISON HALL Panning a circle of men who sit facing each other in folding chairs. The pan starts on Hi. VOICE OVER In an effort to better ourselves we were forced to meet with a counselor who tried to help us figure out why we were the way we were... At this point the pan has reached the COUNSELOR, an earnest, bearded young man who straddles a folding chair with his arms folded over its back. He is addressing one of the Cons: COUNSELOR Why do you use the word "trapped"? CLOSEUP BLACK CON The huge muscle-bound black man with a shaved head is knitting his brow in consternation. CON Huh? COUNSELOR Why do you say you feel "trapped" in a man's body? CON Oh... He bites his lip, thinking; then, in a resonant bass voice: CON ...Well, sometimes I get the menstrual cramps real hard. PAROLE MEETING ROOM Three PAROLE OFFICERS - two men and a woman - face Hi across a table. CHAIRMAN Have you learned anything, Hi? HI Yessir, you bet. WOMAN You wouldn't lie to us, would you Hi? HI No ma'am, hope to say. CHAIRMAN Okay then. EXT. 7-ELEVEN NIGHT A beat-up Chevy pulls into the all-night store's empty parking lot. VOICE OVER I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn't easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House... Hi is getting out of the Chevy in a Hawaiian shirt, holding a pump-action shotgun. VOICE OVER ...I dunno, they say he's a decent man, so... He primes the shotgun - WHOOSH - CLACK - and heads for the store. VOICE OVER ...maybe his advisers are confused. FLASH Full-face exposure of Hi once again in front of the mug-shot wall. ED Turn to the right! Hi obliges but shoots sympathetic glances at Ed who is obviously upset, wiping away tears and snuffling behind the camera. HI What's the matter, Ed? ED My fai-ants left me. VOICE OVER She said her fiancée had run off with a student cosmetologist who knew how to ply her feminine wiles. FLASH On Hi's profile. He turns back to Ed. HI That sumbitch. SHERIFF (O.S.) Don't forget his phone call, Ed! HI You tell him I think he's a damn fool, Ed. You tell him I said so - H.I. McDunnough. And if he wants to discuss it he knows where to find me... As another police officer starts to lead him away: HI ...in the Maricopa County Maximum Security Correctional Facility for Men... CLOSE ON ED Looking up through her tears as Hi is led away. HI (O.S.) ...State Farm Road Number Thirty- one; Tempe, Arizona... BACK TO HI Struggling to call back over his shoulder as he is firmly led out the door. HI ...I'll be waiting! The door slams. LOW ANGLE CELL BLOCK CORRIDOR As Hi is once again escorted toward his cell. The Mopping Con is now in the middle-background, having worked his way about halfway up the corridor since last time we saw him. VOICE OVER I can't say I was happy to be back inside, but the flood of familiar sights, sounds and faces almost made it feel like a homecoming. CLOSE ON MOPPING CON As Hi passes. CON Grrrr... PRISON HALL Group is meeting again. COUNSELOR Most men your age, Hi, are getting married and raising up a family. They wouldn't accept prison as a substitute. Hi looks sheepish. COUNSELOR ...Would any of you men care to comment? Two convicts sitting next to each other, GALE and EVELLE, appear to be friends. GALE But sometimes your career gotta come before family. EVELLE Work is what's kept us happy. ANGRY BLACK CON Yeah, but Doc Schwartz is sayin' you gotta accept responsibilities. I mean I'm proud to say I got a family... somewheres. HIGH ANGLE CELL Looking down from the ceiling. In the foreground, lying on the top bunk, hands clasped behind his head as he stares off into space is MOSES. Moses is a gnarled, elderly black con with wire-rimmed spectacles. On the lower bunk, also with hands clasped behind his head and staring off at the same spot in space, is Hi. VOICE OVER I tried to sort through what the Doc had said, but prison ain't the easiest place to think. MOSES An' when they was no meat we ate fowl. An' when they was no fowl we ate crawdad. An' when they was no crawdad to be foun', we ate San'. HI You ate what? MOSES (nodding) We ate San'. HI You ate sand?! MOSES Dass right... PAROLE BOARD ROOM Hi faces the same three PAROLE OFFICERS across the same table. CHAIRMAN Well Boy, you done served your twenty munce, and seeing as you never use live ammo, we got no choice but to return you to society. SECOND MAN These doors goan swing wide. HI I didn't want to hurt anyone, Sir. SECOND MAN Hi, we respect that. CHAIRMAN But you're just hurtin' yourself with this rambunctious behavior. HI I know that, sir. CHAIRMAN Okay then. HIGH SHOT Of a 7-Eleven parking lot, at night, deserted except for Hi's car which sits untended, its engine rumbling. VOICE OVER Now I don't know how you come down on the incarceration question... Hi backpedals into frame with a shotgun and a bag of cash. VOICE OVER ...whether it's for rehabilitation or revenge. He spins and grabs his car-door handle. Locked. He tries the back door. Locked. VOICE OVER ...But I was beginning to think... As we hear the wail of an approaching siren, Hi takes it on the heel and toe. VOICE OVER ...that revenge is the only argument makes any sense. FLASH On Hi against the mug-shot wall. ED Turn to the right! SHERIFF (O.S.) Don't forget his latents, Ed! CLOSE ON HI'S HAND We see his right hand being efficiently manipulated by Ed's two hands: She is rolling each of his inked fingers into the appropriate space on an exemplar sheet. HI (O.S.) Hear about the paddy-wagon collided with the segment mixer, Ed? Twelve hardened criminals escaped. Ed's hand lingers on top of his. Hi's other hand enters to rest on top of hers. HI (O.S.) Got a new beau? ED (O.S.) No, Hi, I sure don't. Hi slips a ring off his own finger and slides it onto Ed's. HI (O.S.) Don't worry, I paid for it. LOW ANGLE CELL BLOCK CORRIDOR The surly Mopping Con has now worked his way up to the foreground. Hi is being escorted past him to his cell. VOICE OVER They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and for once they may be right. Halfway up the corridor Hi points casually at the floor. HI You missed a spot. The Mopping Con turns to watch him recede. CON Grrrr... HIGH ANGLE CELL Same high shot with Moses on the top bunk, Hi on the lower. VOICE OVER More and more my thoughts turned to Ed, and I finally felt the pain of imprisonment. MOSES An' momma would frow the live crawdad in a pot of boiln' water. Well one day I decided to make my own crawdad... We begin to crane down to tighten on the absently staring Hi. VOICE OVER ...an' I frew it in a pot, forgettin' to put in the water, ya see... Moses' voice is mixing down as we lose him from frame. VOICE OVER ...and it was like I was makin' popcorn, ya see... The joint is a lonely place after lock-up and fights out... We are now very close on Hi, staring. VOICE OVER ...when the last of the cons has been swept away by the sandman. HI'S POV The underside of the top bunk. A sudden flash whitens and fades to leave the image of Ed, smiling behind her camera, softly supered on the underside of the bunk. BACK TO HI He wearily turns his head to profile on the pillow and shuts his eyes. VOICE OVER But I couldn't help thinking that a brighter future lay ahead - a future that was only eight to fourteen months away. Eyes closed, he is illuminated by a flash. PAROLE BOARD ROOM Hi and the same three officers. CHAIRMAN Got a name for people like you, Hi. That name is called recidivism. SECOND MAN Ree-peat O-fender. CHAIRMAN Not a pretty name, is it, Hi? HI No Sir, it sure ain't. That's one bonehead name. But that ain't me anymore. CHAIRMAN You're not just tellin' us what we wanna hear? HI No Sir, no way. SECOND MAN 'Cause we just wanna hear the truth. HI Well then I guess I am tellin' you what you wanna hear. CHAIRMAN Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that? HI Yessir. CHAIRMAN Okay then. TRACKING Over Hi's shoulder as he strides toward a door marked "Processing" and flings it open. It is the familiar booking room. Ed looks up from her camera, having just snapped a picture of another suspect against the hatched wall. HI I'm walkin' in here on my knees, Ed - a free man proposin'. Hi cocks a finger at the suspect. HI Howdy Kurt. ED'S ROOM As she nervously frets at her white bridal gown in front of a mirror. VOICE OVER And so it was. SHERIFF (O.S.) Don't forget the boo-kay, Ed! CLOSE SHOT ED Gazing earnestly into the camera. A congregation is seated behind her - the bride's side wearing police blues; the groom's side, Hawaiian shirts. ED I do. CLOSE SHOT HI Also staring into the camera. HI You bet I do. REVERSE Over their shoulders, the minister. MINISTER Okay then. FLASH On the newlyweds smiling at the camera. FLASH On the newlyweds smiling at each other, profile to the camera. HIGH WIDE SHOT TRAILER PARK In the middle of a vast expanse of desert. VOICE OVER Ed's pa staked us to a starter home in suburban Tempe... INT. MACHINE SHOP Hi is working the drill press, wearing goggles and sweat- stained overalls. VOICE OVER ...and I got a job drilling holes in sheet metal. Next to him idly stands Bud, a veteran of the shop, with a grimy face and a pair of goggles pushed up on his forehead. BUD So we was doin' paramedical work in affiliation with the state highway system-not actually practicin', y'understand - and me and Bill's patrollin' down Nine Mile - HI Bill Roberts? BUD (barking) No, not that motherscratcher! Bill Parker! Anyway, we're approachin' the wreck, and there's a spherical object arestin' on the highway... He pauses to blow and pop a bubble with his chewing gum. BUD ...And it don't look like a piece a the car. VOICE OVER Mostways the job was a lot like prison, except Ed was waitin' at the end of every day... CASHIER'S WINDOW Hi is scowling at his paycheck. Behind the barred window a fat cashier grins. VOICE OVER ...and a paycheck at the end of every week. CASHIER Gummint do take a bite, don't she? EXT. TRAILER Hi sits in a lawn chair in front of the trailer. Ed sits on his lap, his arms around her. Both are wearing sunglasses, looking at the setting sun. The scene is suffused with a warm yellow light. VOICE OVER These were the happy days, the salad days as they say... As the sun sets, the light is turning from yellow to amber. Hi and Ed watch, their heads following its slow downward arc. VOICE OVER ...and Ed felt that having a critter was the next logical step. It was all she thought about. The amber is turning to a more neutral dusky light as the sun has set. Hi and Ed continue to stare at the point where it disappeared. VOICE OVER ...Her point was that there was too much love and beauty for just the two of us... The dusk is slipping away into darkness. VOICE OVER ...and every day we kept a child out of the world was a day he might later regret having missed. We are by now holding on pitch black. Crickets chirp. From the darkness: ED That was beautiful. A CALENDAR Ed is crossing off the last day on the calendar before a day circled in red. VOICE OVER So we worked at it on the days we calculated most likely to be fruitful... INT. TRAILER Hi is wearily entering after a long day at work, clutching his lunchpail. VOICE OVER ...and we worked at it most other days just to be sure. Ed flies into frame and leaps into his arms, covering him with kisses. TRAILER BEDROOM In each other's arms, Hi and Ed roll over on the bed. VOICE OVER Seemed like nothing could stand in our way now... We pan with them rolling and continue off them to the night table, on which sits a framed pair of photographs of Hi, probably taken by Ed: One shows him full face, the other in profile. EXT. TRAILER TWILIGHT Ed sits in a lawn chair knitting a booty. Hi stands in Bermuda shorts and an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt, hosing down the minuscule patch of front lawn. VOICE OVER ...My lawless years were behind me; our child rearin' years lay ahead. DUSTY ROAD LEADING UP TO TRAILER DAY A squad car, its siren wailing, kicks up dust as it roars into the foreground. ADOPTION OFFICE Hi and Ed are seated on folding chairs facing an agent's desk. Hi wears a sport coat over his Hawaiian shirt. Ed is in her dress blues. HI It's true I've had a checkered past, but Ed here is an officer of the law twice decorated... THE AGENT Looking, with a dead pan, from the file to Hi. HI ...So we figure it kind of evens out. His face still deadly neutral, the agent looks back down at the file and unfolds the accordioned rap sheet, revealing it to be a couple feet long. VOICE OVER ...But biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless. INT. SQUAD CAR On Ed as she stares vacantly out the passenger window. VOICE OVER Our love for each other was stronger than ever... ON HI Driving. He looks from Ed out to the road. VOICE OVER ...but I preminisced no return of the salad days. TRAILER BATHROOM Over Hi's shoulder as he stares listlessly at himself in the mirror, a razor held forgotten in one hand, his face half lathered and half shaved. VOICE OVER The pizazz had gone out of our lives. TRAILER BEDROOM The bedroom is somewhat messy. Ed sits on the edge of the bed, also staring listlessly. Her police uniform is on but not yet buttoned. Her hands lie palm-up in her lap, like two dead fish. VOICE OVER Ed lost all interest in both criminal justice and housekeeping. Soon after, she tendered her badge. MACHINE SHOP Once again Hi works as his sweaty gum-chewing colleague stands idly by. VOICE OVER Even my job seemed as dry and bitter as a hot prairie wind. BUD So here comes Bill a-walkin' down Nine Mile - that's Bill Parker, y'understand - got his sandwich in one hand, the fuckin' head in the other... ON HI DRIVING Alone in his Chevy. He looks to the side. VOICE OVER I even caught myself drivin' by convenience stores... HIS MOVING POV 7-Eleven. VOICE OVER ...that weren't on the way home. TRAILER LIVING ROOM Hi and Ed sit listlessly watching TV. VOICE OVER Then one day the biggest news hit the state since they built the Hoover Dam... Ed perks up, reacting to something on TV. Hi notices her reaction and also sloughs off his stupor to watch. VOICE OVER ...The Arizona quints was born. THE TV A newscaster silently reading copy. Behind him news footage of five nurses holding infants mortices in. VOICE OVER By "Arizona" quints I mean they was born to a woman named Florence Arizona. BACK TO HI AND ED Watching intently. Eyes still locked on the set, Ed reaches her hand out to Hi. Eyes still locked on the set, Hi takes her hand in his. VOICE OVER As you probably guessed, Florence Arizona is the wife of Nathan Arizona. And Nathan Arizona - well hell, you know who he is... THE TV A LATE-NIGHT LOCAL COMMERCIAL NATHAN ARIZONA, a stocky middle-aged man in a white polyester suit, is gesturing expansively with his white cowboy hat toward a one-story warehouse store with a football stadium parking lot, chroma-keyed in behind him. NATHAN ARIZONA (mixing up on the TV) So come on down to Unpainted Arizona for the finest selection in fixtures and appointments for your bathroom, bedroom, beaudoir! VOICE OVER ...The owner of the largest chain of unpainted furniture and bathroom fixture outlets throughout the Southwest. NATHAN ARIZONA And if you can find lower prices anywhere my name ain't Nathan Arizona! BACK TO HI AND ED As they slowly look from the TV set toward each other. LINE OF NEWSPAPER VENDING MACHINES Hi lounges near one of the vending machines as a businessman puts in a quarter. VOICE OVER Yep, Florence had been taking fertility pills, and she and Nathan had hit the jackpot. The businessman takes his newspaper and releases the machine door as he turns to leave. Hi snags the door before it closes and takes his own five- finger discount copy. He flips the paper over to look at the headline. FRONT PAGE OF NEWSPAPER The banner headline of the Tempe Intelligencer is: "ARIZONA QUINTS GO HOME!" The subhead: "More Than We Can Handle,' Laughs Dad." Next to it is a picture of Nathan. VOICE OVER Now y'all who're without sin can cast the first stone... A pull back from the paper shows Hi and Ed reading it together at home. They look from the paper to each other. Hi opens to an inside page and we pan a row of pictures - the five tots with their names underneath: "HARRY, BARRY, LARRY, GARRY and NATHAN JR." VOICE OVER ...but we thought it was unfair that some should have so many while others should have so few. BILLBOARD In the middle of the desert. It reads: "WELCOME TO TEMPE! POPULATION 13,948... PLUS FIVE!" EXT. TRAILER TWILIGHT We are floating in toward Ed who is seated, waiting, in the driver's seat of Hi's Chevy. Hi enters frame and cinches down a ladder that is tied to the roof of the car. Pieces of red flag flutter at either end of the ladder where it sticks out beyond the car. VOICE OVER With the benefit of hindsight maybe it wasn't such a hot idea... Hi gets in the car. FROM BEHIND THE CHEVY It starts down the long, winding road leading away from the trailer, kicking up dust. VOICE OVER ...but at the time, Ed's little plan seemed like the solution to all our problems, and the answer to all our prayers. The title of the film burns in: "RAISING ARIZONA". A building chord snaps off in a shock cut to: SUBURBAN LIVING ROOM EVENING Tableau of a couple at home. Nathan Arizona is on the telephone, his stocking feet up on an ottoman. Florence sits reading Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care. The living room is dominated by a large oil portrait of Nathan and Florence, gazing out from the wall over the mantelpiece. NATHAN (into the phone) Eight hundred leaf tables and no chairs?! You can't sell leaf tables and no chairs! Chairs, you got a dinette set! No chairs, you got dick! I ask my wife she got more sense!... TITLE IS SUPERED: "THE ARIZONA HOUSEHOLD" From somewhere upstairs we hear an infant start to cry. Florence stops reading and looks up at the ceiling. Nathan is oblivious. NATHAN ...Miles, all I know is I'm away from the office to have me some kids and everything goes straight to heck! I ain't gonna stand for it! Another title is supered below the first: "SEPTEMBER 17, 1985". The baby stops crying and Florence's attention returns to her book. VOICE OVER ...Yeah, and if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass a-hoppin'! I'm sick of your excuses, Miles! It is now... As he throws out his wrist to look at his watch a third title is supered beneath the first two: 8:45 p.m. VOICE OVER ...8:45 in the p.m. I'm gonna be down to the store in exactly twelve hours to kick me some butt! He starts to replace the receiver but brings it back with an afterthought: VOICE OVER ...Or my name ain't Nathan Arizona! As he slams the phone into the cradle the titles disappear. Another baby starts crying. Florence looks up at the ceiling. NATHAN That sounds like Larry. Close on the crying baby as Hi bounces it, gently but desperately. HI Shhhh! Shh! Nice baby... He starts to lower it back into the crib. The crib is unpainted with the name of each baby burned Bonanza-style into the headboard: Harry, Barry, Larry, Garry, and Nathan Jr. Instead of quieting as he is lowered into the crib, the squalling baby only sets off one of his brothers. Hi hurriedly lifts him back out. He looks desperately around the room. The room is wallpapered with nursery rhyme characters. There are toys strewn around. There is one adult-sized easy chair in the corner. Hi carries the baby over to the chair, stepping on and reacting to the squeal of a squeeze-me toy on the way. He sits the baby deep in - the chair and then returns to the crib to deal with the second crying baby. He lifts the baby out of the crib and gently bounces it. This baby stops crying. Another one in the crib starts bawling. Hi sets the second baby down on the floor and gives it a rattle to keep it pacified. He reaches for the third baby in the crib. Sweat stands out on Hi 's brow. He is desperately chucking the third baby under the chin when we hear a muffled PTHUMP! He whirls to look across the darkened room. The first baby has dropped off the easy chair and is energetically crawling away toward a shadowy corner. LIVING ROOM Nathan and Florence are sitting stock-still, staring at the ceiling. After a moment, another baby starts crying. NATHAN What're they, playing telephone? They stare at the ceiling. NURSERY Loose babies are crawling everywhere. Hi is skittering across the room in a half-crouch, a baby tucked under one arm, reaching out with the other as he pursues a crawling baby across the room. He hefts the other baby with his free arm and brings the air back to the crib. He turns to look frantically around the room. The other three babies have disappeared. There is perfect quiet. Hi goes over to the closet door, which is ajar, and swings it open. He reaches under a moving pile of clothes on the floor and pulls out a baby. He returns it to the crib and freezes, listening. The sound of a rattle. He drops to the floor to look under the crib. WIDE ANGLE UNDER CRIB A baby holding a rattle leers into the camera in the foreground. Behind him Hi, on his stomach, is reaching in to grab at his leg. Hi is pulling the baby out, away from the camera, when with a plop! a baby drops onto Hi 's back from the crib above. Hi twists one arm back to grope for the baby crawling on top of him. He is straightening up, a baby in each arm, when he reacts in horror to something he sees across the room. HI'S POV The hindquarters of a diapered baby are just disappearing around the corner of the nursery door into the hallway. LIVING ROOM Florence and Nathan are staring at the ceiling. After a beat we hear a muffled plop! on the ceiling. A beat later, the bleat of the squeeze-me toy. NATHAN ...Whyn't you go up and check on 'em? They sound restless. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY The floor-level wide-angle shot shows a baby crawling toward the camera in the foreground. Behind him, in the background, just rounding the open door from the nursery, yet another baby is making a mad dash for freedom. Hi emerges from the nursery and, stepping around the background baby, trots toward the baby in the foreground. By the time he reaches it the low-angle cropping shows us only his feet and calves. CLOSE ON HI Perspiring as he tiptoes the last two steps to the baby. HI'S POV The baby and, beyond it, the stairway down to the main floor. We hear footsteps approaching. BACK TO HI He scoops up the baby and hurriedly tiptoes away toward the nursery. LOW-ANGLE REVERSE The baby at the nursery door in the foreground; the staircase in the background. As Hi reaches the baby we hear footsteps climbing the stairs. Hi's free arm comes down into frame to scoop the baby up and out of frame just as: Florence's head appears, bobbing up as she climbs the stairs. She approaches the nursery, still clutching the Dr. Spock book. NURSERY As Florence enters from the hallway door. We track back into the room, on her, as she approaches the crib. Halfway there she freezes, staring, in shock. HER POV All of the babies have been replaced in the crib but not lying down: They are seated in a row, staring back at her, lined up against the far crib railing, like a small but distinguished panel on "Meet the Press." THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD OF THE CHEVY ED'S POV of Hi approaching the car. He is shrugging and displaying a pair of manifestly empty hands. CLOSE ON ED Barely able to fight down her anger. Hissing: ED What's the matter?! Hi appears at her - the driver's-window. HI Sorry honey, it just didn't work out. He is reaching to open the door but she slaps his hand away from the handle. ED What d'you mean it didn't work out?! HI They started cryin', then they were all over me... He is trying to open the door, which Ed is holding shut with all her might. HI ...It was kinda horrifying - Lemme in, honey. ED Course they cried! Babies cry! HI I know that now! Come on honey, we better leave - Ed is rolling up the window and locking the door. ED You go right back up there and get me a toddler! I need a baby, Hi; they got more'n they can handle! Muffled, through the closed window, and very forlorn: HI Aw honey I - ED Don't you come back here without a baby! NURSERY Florence is holding one of the babies cradled against her shoulder. She is facing the hallway door; her back is to the crib and window. The baby, peeping out over her shoulder, is facing the window. CLOSE ON BABY Looking. BABY'S POV Of the window, as Hi's head appears in it. BABY Looking. HI Looking back, he holds a finger to his lips. BABY Florence starts bouncing it, patting it on the back. BABY'S POV Hi and the window bouncing up and down. LIVING ROOM Nathan is leafing through the lingerie ads in the newspaper. We can hear Florence's returning footsteps. Muttering: NATHAN Christian Dior my butt... Florence enters. NATHAN ...They pay money for that? FLORENCE Yes dear. NATHAN How're the kids? FLORENCE Fine dear. NATHAN Fuckin' kids, I love 'em. We hear the bleat of the squeeze-me toy. Florence and Nathan look at the ceiling for a beat, then Nathan clears his throat and returns to the newspaper. CHEVY Ed sits anxiously waiting in the driver's seat, peering intently through the windshield. As she catches sight of something she breaks into a broad smile, unlocks the door, and slides over to the passenger seat. Hi is opening the door with one hand, cradling a baby in the other. ED Which one ya get? As he gets into the driver's seat: HI I dunno. Nathan Jr., I think. ED Gimme here. He hands her the infant, then hands her the copy of Dr.Spock's Baby and Child Care. HI Here's the instructions. ED Oh, he's beautiful! Hi nods as he pulls away from the curb. HI He's awful damn good. I think I got the best one. Ed is gushing and kissing the baby through the rest of the conversation. ED I bet they were all beautiful. All babies are beautiful! HI Yeah. This one's awful damn good though. ED Don't you cuss around him. HI He's fine, he is. I think it's Nathan Jr. ED We are doin' the right thing, aren't we Hi? - I mean, they had more'n they could handle. HI Well now honey we been over this and over this. There's what's right and there's what's right, and never the twain shall meet. ED But you don't think his momma'll be upset? I mean overly? HI Well a course she'll be upset, sugar, but she'll get over it. She's got four little babies almost as good as this one. It's like when I was robbin' convenience stores - Ed suddenly bursts out crying. ED I love him so much! HI I know you do, honey. ED (still sobbing) I love him so much! TRAILER LIVING ROOM As the lights are thrown on. The room is hung with streamers. A string of cut-out letters reads "Welcome Home Son!" HI (O.S.) Okay, bring him in! REVERSE Ed is entering with Nathan Jr. HI This is it young Nathan Jr. Just feast your eyes about, old boy! ED Don't be so loud around him, Hi. HI (softly) Damn, I'm sorry honey. ED And don't you cuss around him. HI Aw, he don't know a cuss word from shinola. ED Well see that he don't. HI (jovially) He's all right, he is. He reaches for the child. HI ...Come on over here, Nathan Jr., I'll show you around. He takes the baby in both hands and holds him out at arm's length, pointing him at the various places of interest. The baby looks goggle-eyed at each one. HI ...Lookahere, young sportsman. That - there's the kitchen area where Ma and Pa chow down. Over there's the TV, two hours a day maximum, either educational or football so's you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things. This - here's the divan, for sociahzin' and relaxin' with the family unit. Yessir, many's the day we sat there and said wouldn't it be nice to have a youngster here to share our thoughts and feelin's - Impatient with the nonsense: ED He's tired, Hi. HI Well we'll just sit you right there, boy... He is propping Nathan Jr. up in the corner of the couch. Hi sits at the other corner and Ed sits in a facing chair. HI ...Just put those dogs up'n take a load off. Hi beams at Nathan Jr. Ed smiles at Nathan Jr. Nathan Jr. looks from one to the other, deadpan. They seem to be waiting for him to contribute to the conversation. Silence. Suddenly Hi slaps his knee. HI What are you kiddin'?! We got a family here! Ed is getting up. HI ...He's a scandal, honey! He's a little outlaw! As she picks up the baby: ED He's a good boy. HI He ain't too good! You can tell by that twinkle in his eye! ED Don't you think we should put him to bed? HI Hang on, honey... He is frantically reaching for a Polaroid camera. HI ...Let's us preserve the moment in pictures! ED Just one, okay?... She sits down on the couch with Nathan Jr. as Hi starts screwing the camera into a tripod. ED ...I gotta tell ya, I'm a little scared. Absently, as he sets up the camera: HI How come is that, honey? ED Well we got a baby, Hi. It's an awful big responsibility. As he peers through the lens: HI Honey, could ya slide over a tad and raise the nipper up? As she complies: ED I mean we never done this before and I'm kinda nervous. HI You're doin' real good, sugar. Hi sits on the couch, holding the camera's cable release. He puts his arm around Ed and smiles at the offscreen camera. Ed nestles her head against Hi's shoulder. ED I love you, Hi. HI We're set to pop here, honey. ED You're gonna help, aren't ya? Through his teeth as he continues to grin at the offscreen camera: HI How's that, honey? ED Give Nathan Jr. a normal family background, just quiet evenings at home together... We begin to hear distant thunder. HI You can count on it, honey. ED ...Everything decent'n normal from here on out. HI Uh-huh. As he squeezes the cable release - FLASH - the image momentarily freezes on Hi beaming, Nathan Jr. staring, and Ed looking at Hi with a little bit of concern. DARK FIELD SAME NIGHT The rolling thunder has built to a thunderclap at the cut, and the flash of the Polaroid match cuts to lightning throwing a momentarily harsh glare on the field. Rain beats down on the bare patch of ground we are looking at - by now just a patch of mud. Faraway lightning flickers and we hear the rumble of more thunder approaching, then suddenly: THWACK - A head pops up out of the mud. It is Gale, the con we saw in group therapy. He bellows as lightning and thunder flash and crack nearby. His head is covered with mud, although the driving rain is already starting to wash it away. We are beginning to track in an arc around Gale's head, who is now struggling, working to get his shoulders and arms up out of the mud. The end of the 180-degree arc and a flash of lightning reveal, way in the distance, the wire-topped walls of a penitentiary. Still bellowing, as if in some primal rage, Gale has gotten his muck-covered arms up out of the earth and is now pushing down to haul up the rest of his body. It comes with much effort, and with the loud sucking-popping sounds of the fiercely clinging mud. Finally he is free. With a great cry, the mud-covered man plunges his right arm straight back down into the earth, all the way up to his shoulder. He gropes intently and then, apparently having grabbed hold of something underground, he starts pulling. His arm comes slowly back up out of the mud. Clasped in his hand is - a human foot. Bellowing with effort he continues to pull, liberating the foot... leg... torso of his companion, and finally his head. As the rain starts to wash the mud off his companion's head we see that it is his friend Evelle. Both are bellowing. Mud sucks and pops. Thunder crashes. INT. GAS STATION MENS ROOM At the cut the ear-splitting thunder drops out to quiet. We hear only the muffled patter of rain and the hum of a bare fluorescent. The two bedraggled escaped cons are standing side by side, combing their hair in the mirror. The men seem absorbed in their task, using hair jelly from a jar that sits on the shelf between them to restore their duck's-ass haircuts. Evelle cracks the bathroom door and looks out into the rain. EVELLE ...Okay. GALE What is it? EVELLE Mercury. Looks nice. EXT. GAS STATION The two men are trotting out to a Mercury that sits untended at a gas island, a gas hose on automatic stuck in its tank. As Gale starts up the car Evelle yanks the hose out and drops it to the ground. Gale is already starting to peel out as Evelle gets in. WIDE SHOT TRAILER LIVING ROOM Late at night. Hi sits asleep on the sofa at the far end of the room, in a pool of lamp light. We hear faint, distant knocking. As we track in toward Hi the knocking becomes louder and more present. As we approach Hi we see that several Polaroids are spread over his gently rising and falling chest. By the time we tighten on his face the knocking has become quite loud. VOICE Open up! Hi starts awake with a grunt. VOICE ...Open up in air! He looks up, alarmed. HI'S POV The front door of the trailer. Someone is pounding insistently. VOICE Open up! It's a police! BACK TO HI He sits up and tenses. He looks around. Ed stands in her nightgown at the mouth of the hallway, holding Nathan Jr. and squinting at Hi. She hisses: ED Hi! What's goin' on? VOICE Po-lice, son! Open her up! Hi gets to his feet, hurriedly tosses the Polaroids under a cushion of the couch and takes out a gun. HI Get in the bedroom. ED They ain't gonna take Nathan?! HI Well I'd like to see 'em fly. As Ed turns back to the bedroom: VOICE Open up and maybe we'll letcha plea- bargain. BEDROOM As Ed enters and shuts the door. She listens hard at the door: Hi's footsteps cross the living room, the click of the door opening, silence... a burst of raucous male laughter. HI'S VOICE ...Honey! Come on out here! Want you to meet a couple friends of mine! LIVING ROOM As Ed enters, carrying Nathan Jr. All three men - Hi, Gale, and Evelle - are beaming at her. HI Honey, like you to meet Gale and Evelle Snopes, fine a pair as ever broke and entered. Gale roars with laughter. HI ...Boys, this - here's my wife. GALE Ma'am. EVELLE Miz McDunnough. Ed smiles politely, then squints at Hi. ED Kind of late for visitors, isn't it Hi? HI Well yeah honey, but these boys tell me they just got outta the joint. Gotta show a little hospitality. Gale is admiring the baby. GALE Well now H.I., looks like you been up to the devil's bidnis! EVELLE That a him or a her? ED It's a little boy. GALE Got a name, does he? Hi and Ed look at each other uncomfortably. Hi clears his throat. HI Well so far we just been using Junior. ED We call him Junior. EVELLE Say, thairs good - JR., just like on the Teevee. Gale is staring at the streamers and decorations. Reading aloud: GALE "Welcome... Home... Son." Where's he been? Hi and Ed respond simultaneously: HI Tulsa. ED Phoenix. HI He was, uh... he was visiting his grandparents. ED They're separated. GALE Was that yer folks ma'am? ED No, I'm afraid not. GALE I thought yer folks was dead, H.I.? HI (very uncomfortably) Well we thought Junior should see their final resting place - Whyn't you boys have a seat? As the two men move toward the couch Ed hesitantly pipes up: ED Hi, it's two in the morning... She wrinkles her nose. ED ...What's that smell? Apologetically: GALE We don't always smell like this, Miz McDunnough. I was just explainin' to yer better half here that when we were tunneln' out we hit the main sewer - dumb luck, that - and just followed that to - ED You mean you busted out of jail!! GALE Waaaal... EVELLE We released ourselves on our own recognizance. GALE What Evelle means to say is, we felt the institution no longer had anything to offer us. He is looking at the baby. GALE ...My Lord he's cute. EVELLE He's a little outlaw, you can see that. ED Now listen, you folks can't stay here! Gale, Evelle, and Hi look up at Ed, dumbstruck. After a beat: EVELLE ...Ma'am? ED You just can't stay! I appreciate your bein' friends of Hi and all, but this is a decent family now... She looks at Hi. ED ...I mean we got a toddler here! Gale leans in close to Hi, a look of sincere concern on his face, and says under his breath: GALE Say, who wears the pants round here H.I.? HI Now honey - ED Don't you honey me. Now you boys can set a while and catch up, and then you'll be on your way. There is an awkward silence as she leaves and slams the bedroom door. Gale is carefully studying his thumbnail; Evelle stares fixedly at the ceiling. Still looking at his thumb: GALE Gotcha on a awful short leash, don't she H.I.? BEDROOM Sometime later, as Hi tiptoes in. Ed lies in bed facing the wall; we see only the back of her head. Hi sits gingerly on the edge of the bed and, smiling, sticks a finger through the bars of the crib to play with the baby. The sound of the TV set in the living room filters faintly in. ED They still here? Hi is momentarily startled, then goes on playing with the baby. HI Yeah, they're just gonna stay a day or two. It's raining out honey, they got nowhere to go. Ed finally turns to face him. We hear the two men laugh raucously in the living room. ED They're fugitives, Hi... Hi turns to face her. ED ...How're we gonna start a new life with them around? HI Well now honey you gotta have a little charity. Ya know, in Arab lands they'd set out a plate - ED Promise just a day or two. HI Tonight and tomorrow, tops. EXTREME HIGH ANGLE Looking straight down at Hi, asleep in bed. It is later: filtering softly in from the other room is the end of the "Star Spangled Banner" on TV. We are craning down. VOICE OVER That night I had a dream. FLASH CUT For a brief moment we see a wall of flames and hear it roar. BACK TO HI Still craning down. VOICE OVER ...I'd drifted off thinkin' about happiness, birth, and new life... FLASH CUT Wall of flames. Deafening roar. BACK TO HI Craning down. The faint National Anthem ends: we hear the WEEEEEEEE of a test pattern. VOICE OVER But now I was haunted by a vision of - WALL OF FLAMES Roaring. At the cut: WHOOOOOSH! a huge low-rider motorcycle bursts through the flames, its engine roaring even louder than the fire. Its driver is a huge leather-clad hellion. The chains worn by the Biker clank ominously as he rides. VOICE OVER He was horrible... The Biker roars out of frame. LOW-ANGLE REVERSE As the Biker roars into frame, his rear tire laying down a wake of fire. VOICE OVER ...a lone biker of the apocalypse... TRACKING ON BIKER As he roars along a ribbon of desert highway. VOICE OVER ...a man with all the powers of her at his command. The Biker reaches for his bullwhip. VOICE OVER ...He could turn the day into night... The Biker cracks the whip and, at the crack: The sky behind him turns instantly to black. Bolts of lightning crackle across it as thunder roars. ANOTHER DESERT SCENE DAY Tracking with and also in on the Biker from behind as he roars along a strip of highway. He is reaching for the two sawed-off shotguns which are strapped crisscross across his back. VOICE OVER ...and laid to waste everything in his path. REVERSE TRACK ON BIKER Pulling the Biker from a distance as he levels the two shotguns. The tracking camera pulls back further to reveal a running jack-rabbit keeping pace with us in the foreground. VOICE OVER He was especially hard on the little things... CRACK - as the first shotgun spurts orange the foreground rabbit keels over. The Biker slues the other gun around. LOCKED-DOWN WIDE SHOT On a rock in the foreground, a desert lizard suns himself. The Biker is approaching in the distant background. VOICE OVER ...the helpless and the gentle creatures. CRACK - from afar, the foreground lizard is blown away. LOCKED-DOWN LOW-ANGLE WIDE SHOT Of the empty desert road stretching away. In the foreground a lone desert flower blooms. The Biker roars into frame. VOICE OVER He left a scorched earth in his wake, befouling even the sweet desert breeze that whipped across his brow. As the Biker roars away, the foreground flower bends with his draft and then bursts into flame. TRACKING ON BIKER From in front. He twirls the shotguns in either hand and reaches back to plunge them over his shoulders into their holsters. VOICE OVER I didn't know where he came from or why... We are moving in on his chest, where two crisscrossed bandoliers carry two rows of hand grenades, their silver pins glinting in the sun. We follow the line of one of the bandoliers up to his right shoulder which bears the tattoo: "Mama Didn't Love Me." VOICE OVER I didn't know if he was dream or vision... REVERSE TRACK ON BIKER From behind, booming down as we track. We are approaching the crest of a rise. VOICE OVER But I feared that I myself had unleashed him... HIGH SHOT Of the Biker approaching, craning down as he draws near. VOICE OVER ...for he was The Fury That Would Be... With the crane down we momentarily lose him from view over the rise; then suddenly - ROAR - he tops the rise and, wheels spinning, is airborne REVERSE As he crashes back down to earth in the foreground and roars away. Only now we are no longer in the desert: We are looking down a twilight street at the end of which is the Arizona house. VOICE OVER ...as soon as Florence Arizona found her little Nathan gone. The roar of his engine and clank of his chains recede as the Biker gradually dissolves into thin air. We are left looking at the empty street and the faraway Arizona house. The receding roar has left behind eerily beautiful singing, a woman singing a lullaby. Faintly, behind the singing, there is also a droning high-pitched noise. The camera starts floating forward very close to the ground, moving slowly toward the Arizona house. The high-pitched drone is becoming less faint under the singing. The camera is accelerating. The drone is growing louder - we can now tell that it is a human scream. As we approach the Arizona house we can see that a ladder is propped up to a second-story window. We are moving quite fast now. The scream all but buries the singing. We are rushing toward the house, toward the base of the ladder, the sustained scream drawing us on. We hurtle toward and then straight up the ladder with no abatement of speed, sucked forward by the deafening scream. We reach the top and hurtle - THWAP! - through the white curtains of the open second-story window into the nursery to reveal Florence Arizona, her back to us, screaming over the crib. We are rocketing toward her. She is turning to us, hands pressed to her ears, mouth stretched wide in an ear-splitting shriek and we are rushing into an extreme close-up of her gaping mouth and her wildly vibrating epiglottis and we CUT TO: EXTREME CLOSE SHOT OF HI'S EYES As they snap open. The screaming snaps off at the cut. The singing that the building scream covered, however, is now audible again. Perspiration beads Hi's forehead. He looks down toward the foot of the bed. THE BEDROOM It is now morning. Ed walks back and forth, gently bouncing the baby as she walks. She is singing it a lullaby. Faintly, from the next room, we can hear Gale and Evelle snoring away like buzz saws. HI (groggily) He all right? ED He's all right. He was just havin' a nightmare. Hi is getting out of bed. HI Yeah, well... He crosses to the bedroom window and cracks the venetian blind. Orange light filters in. HIS POV Beyond a clothes line and a septic tank, a huge orange ball of sun is rising. We can almost hear the roar of its burning surface. BACK TO HI Looking. HI ...Sometimes it's a hard world for little things. HIS POV The orange sun, rumbling, perceptibly rising. ARIZONA HOME FRONT FOYER At the cut the rumble of the sun is snapped off by the high- pitched ba-WEEEEeeee... of a strobe going off as a flash picture is taken: We are looking over Nathan Jr.'s shoulder as he stands at his open front door, facing a battery of press people who stand out on the porch. An obie light over a local TV news camera glares in at us; various flashbulbs pop. NATHAN No, the missus and the rest of the kids've left town to I ain't sayin' where. They'll be back here when we're a nuclear fam'ly again. VOICE Mr. Arizona, which tot was abducted? NATHAN Nathan Jr., I think. VOICE Do you have anything to say to the kidnappers? NATHAN Yeah: Watch yer butt. VOICE Sir, it's been rumored that your son was abducted by UFOS. Would you care to comment? NATHAN (sadly) Now don't print that, son. If his mama reads that she's just gonna lose all hope. A POLICEMAN from inside the house is taking Nathan by the elbow. POLICEMAN We really have to ask you some more questions, sir... As Nathan allows himself to be led back into the house he calls back over his shoulder: NATHAN But remember, it's still business as usual at Unpainted Arizona, and if you can find lower prices anywhere my name still ain't Nathan Arizona! We are following the two, hand-held, as the Police leads Nathan toward the living room. LIVING ROOM The room is filled with policemen milling about in several different uniforms: local police, state troopers, plainclothes detectives. The original Policeman is leading Nathan to a table where a white-smocked technician is preparing inkpad and exemplar sheets. The dialogue is urgent, rapid-fire and overlapping. POLICEMAN Mr. Byrum here can take your exemplars while you talk. MR. BYRUM has taken Nathan's right hand and is rolling its fingers onto the inkpad. BYRUM Just let your hand relax; I'll do the work. Nathan jerks his hand away. NATHAN What is this?! I didn't steal the damn kid! Two men in conservative suits are approaching. POLICEMAN Sir, these men are from the FBI- NATHAN (bewildered) Are you boys crazy?! All I know is I wake up this morning with my wife screaming- BYRUM (patiently) We just need to distinguish your prints from the perpetrators', if they left any. Giving his hand back: NATHAN Course! I know that! FBI #1 Sir, we have an indication you were born Nathan Huffhines; is this correct? NATHAN Yeah, I changed m'name; what of it? FBI #2 Could you give us an indication why? NATHAN Yeah, would you buy furniture at a store called Unpainted Huffhines? FBI #1 All right, I'll get to the point- UNIFORMED COP Was the child wearing anything when he was abducted? NATHAN No one sleeps nekkid in this house, boy! He was wear- FBI #1 I'm asking the questions here, officer. COP If we're gonna put out an APB we need a description of the - NATHAN He was wearin' his- FBI #2 It's just that we're better trained to intervene in crisis situations (to Nathan) What was he wearing? NATHAN A dinner jacket! Wuddya think, he was wearing his damn jammies! FBI #2 (to cop) The child was wearing his jammies. Are you happy? FBI #1 Do you have any disgruntled employees? NATHAN Hell, they're all disgruntled! I ain't runnin' a damn daisy farm! COP What did the pajamas- NATHAN My motto is do it my way or watch your butt! COP What did the pajamas- FBI #1 So you think it might have been an employee? NATHAN Don't make me laugh. Without my say- so they don't piss with their pants on fire. COP What did the pajamas look like? FBI #1 (pained) Officer- NATHAN (bellowing) I dunno, they were jammies! They had Yodas'n shit on 'em! BELLOWING VOICE OFFSCREEN Would ya mind, I'm trying to set up a Command Post here! Nathan bellows back: NATHAN Get your feet off m'damn coffee table! Also raising his voice at the offscreen bellower: FBI #1 Ron, you're upsetting the victim. Nathan is getting worked up. NATHAN Damnit, are you boys gonna go chase down your leads or are you gonna sit drinkin' coffee in the one house in the state where I know my boy ain't at?! FBI #2 Sir, there aren't any "leads" yet, aside from this coat- NATHAN Gimme that! He grabs the overcoat being displayed by FBI #2. NATHAN That's a five-hundred-dollar camel's hair- BYRUM Sir, you might want to wash your hands at this point. Nathan realizes that he's gotten ink from his fingerprinting all over the coat. NATHAN Well goddamnit! He is rising to his feet and hurling the coat to the floor. NATHAN ...No leads?! He furiously kicks the coat. NATHAN ...Everyone leaves microbes'n whatnot! Throughout the speech Nathan stalks the room, working himself into a frenzy, furiously putting coffee cups onto coasters, generally cleaning up, hectoring the police, and swiping their feet off his furniture. NATHAN ...Hell, that's your forte, trackin' down them microbes left by criminals'n commies'n shit! That's yer whole damn raison d'itre! No leads?! I want Nathan Jr. back, or whichever the hell one they took! He's out there somewhere! Somethin' leads to him! And anyone can find him knows the difference between a lead and a hole in the ground!! HOLE IN THE GROUND - DAY Specifically, it is the hole in the muddy patch of earth that Gale and Evelle climbed out of. We hear only the squish - suck of many feet walking around in the mud offscreen. We are pulling back to reveal the feet-the shiny black patent leather shoes and blue pants cuffs - becoming quickly spattered - of several policemen milling about the hole. German shepherds sniff around also. With a roar, motorcycle wheels enter frame. The bike's jackbooted rider casually tools around the hole once; police step back and dogs skitter away to give him room. He backs toward the camera and stops, standing astride the bike. The burning stub of a cheroot is dropped into frame; it hisses angrily and dies in the mud. We start to crane up. The whipcracking Biker cue mixes up. The Biker's motorcycle idles with a deep rumble, like the roar of fire on the sun. We are now framed looking over the Biker's shoulder. The policemen's attitude to him seems to be deferential. One cop in front of him is pointing a direction. The Biker is shaking his head; he doesn't think they went that way. Suddenly, with a loud whipcrack effect, the Biker's head snaps to profile. He is staring across the field, stock-still, having heard, smelled or sensed something. The dogs milling around the hole also react, snapping to attention, a split second after the BIKER. THEIR POV A jackrabbit is bounding away at the far end of the field. THE DOGS After a moment, their attention returns to the hole. THE BIKER His attention also returns to the matter at hand. He squints, concentrating. His bike rumbles. Gradually his face sets in a specific direction. We pan down to the tattoo on his shoulder: "Mama Didn't Love Me." His shoulder flexes once or twice as he revs the throttle; then he puts the bike in gear and it roars out of frame. TRAILER KITCHEN CLOSE ON GALE AND EVELLE They are both intently munching cornflakes, staring at something offscreen. After a beat: EVELLE ...Awful good cereal flakes, Miz McDunnough. THEIR POV Ed is sitting in the living room, bottle-feeding Nathan Jr. She is surrounded by the rumpled sheets and blankets used by the house guests. She does not respond to the ice-breaker. Gale puts his spoon down and picks up a cigarette which has been smoking in the ashtray next to him. There is a bead of milk dribbling down his chin. He takes a contemplative puff, studying Ed. GALE ...Whyncha breast feed him? You 'pear to be capable. ED Mind your own bidnis. Through a mouthful of cornflakes: EVELLE Ya don't breast feed him, he'll hate you for it later. That's why we wound up in prison. Gale blows out smoke and picks up his spoon to start back in on his cornflakes. GALE Anyway, that's what Doc Schwartz tells us. Hi is walking in, yawning. HI Boys. EVELLE Morni', H.I. Sharply, as Hi sits and starts to pour cornflakes into a bowl: ED ...Hi. Hi holds the cornflakes box arrested in mid-air. He looks at Ed, who is motioning to gale and Evelle with her eyes. HI Oh yeah... Say boys, you wouldn't mind makin' yourself scarce for a couple hours this afternoon? ED We're havin' some decent friends over. Gale and Evelle are looking dumbly from Ed to Hi. HI Heh-heh... What Ed means to say is, seein' as you two boys are wanted, it wouldn't exactly do to have folks seein' you here - I mean for your own protection. GALE Sure H.I. EVELLE Anything you say. More relaxed now, to Ed: HI Matter of fact honey, maybe I'll skip this little get-together myself, Glen won't mind, and I'll just duck out with the boys, knock back a couple of-uh, Co-Colas- GALE Sure H.I. EVELLE We'd love to have ya. CLOSE ON ED Looking pleadingly at Hi. BACK TO HI Feeling the look, he goes back to his cornflakes. HI ...Well... maybe that ain't such a hot idea either. Gale leans back to blow smoke at the ceiling. GALE (bitterly) So many social engagements. So little time. WIDE SHOT GAS STATION BATHROOM It is the bathroom where we earlier saw Gale and Evelle combing their hair, now empty. We are looking toward the door. The bathroom is quiet except for the dripping sink, and the faint rumble of an approaching motorcycle. It grows louder, then begins to recede as the bike shoots by the station. Suddenly we hear the screech of the bike's brakes. EXT. THE STATION We are on the road outside the gas station as the motorcycle screeches to a halt in the foreground. The low wide shot crops the BIKER at his shins. In the background behind him is the gas station. The Biker pauses for a moment, thinking or feeling. BACK TO INT. BATHROOM We hear the rumble of the bike approaching, very loud. CRASH - the bathroom door flies open as the Biker bursts in astride his hog, bright daylight streaming in with him to throw him into imposing silhouette. The shafts of light pouring in are defined by motes of dust dancing in the air. HIS POV Fast track in on the jar of hair jelly sitting on the shelf under the mirror. BACK TO BIKER An extreme close shot shows his nostrils dilating as we hear him sniff. He revs the rumbling bike, stealing thunder from a far mountain. FRONT STOOP OF TRAILER Hi, with Ed standing by, is just opening the door to a young couple. Glen is a short stocky blond man in his early thirties, wearing Bermuda shorts. DOT is wearing slacks, heels, and a scarf over her hair. HI Glen, Dot- As the door opens, Dot hops up the stoop shrieking. DOT Where's at baby? Where's he at? From behind, Glen gives her an energetic THWOK on the ass. GLEN Go find him honey! Dot spins and smacks Glen across the face with her purse. Through clenched teeth: DOT Cut it out, Glen! He reels under the blow. ED (quietly) He's asleep right now. Dot shrieks again, but this time muffles it with her own hand. She tiptoes into the trailer, hand to her mouth. Glen, rubbing his cheek, seems angry at himself. GLEN Shit, I hope we didn't wake it! DOT Can I just sneak a peek-a-loo? Glen at the top of the stoop, turns out to the yard. GLEN Come on kids... WIDE SHOT GLEN AND DOT'S KIDS A scad of children, ranging in age from two to seven, are crawling over Hi's car. One is beating on it with a large stick, another sits on the hood pulling back one of the windshield wipers, etc. GLEN ...Get away from Mr. McDunnough's car. TRAILER BEDROOM As Ed and Dot enter, Ed beaming as they go to the crib. DOT What's his name? ED Uh... Hi Jr. Till we think of a better one. DOT Whyncha call him Jason? I love Biblical names. If I had another little boy I'd name him Jason or Caleb or- Oh! She puts her hand to her forehead, reacting to the baby as if she is about to faint. DOT ...He's an angel! She hides her face in her hands and looks away as if blinded, then sneaks a look around her hands. DOT ...He's an angel straight from heaven! Now honey I had all my kids the hard way so you gotta tell me where you got this angel. Did he fly straight down from heaven? ED Well- DOT You gonna send him to Arizona State? TRAILER LIVING ROOM / KITCHEN The weaving knee-level tracking shot is following a six-year- old boy in shorts and a dirty T-shirt as he tramps around the trailer, brandishing a big stick. He strikes the walls, furniture, various other objects with his stick, hollering "Bam! Bam-Bam!" with each blow. The track weaves off him and onto Hi, who is bending down to pull a couple of beers from the refrigerator. He raises his voice to make himself heard over the din of all the children boiling around the room: HI Need a beer, Glen? GLEN Does the Pope wear a funny hat? Hi considers this. HI ...Well yeah, Glen, I guess it is kinda funny. GLEN Say, that reminds me! How many Pollacks it take to screw up a lightbulb? HI I don't know Glen, one? Hi looks down. One of Glen's children, in a cowboy hat, is squirting a squirt gun into his crotch area. GLEN Nope, it takes three! He starts laughing, then catches himself. GLEN ...Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Pollacks to screw up a lightbulb? HI I don't know, Glen. GLEN Cause they're so durn stupid! He laughs; Hi doesn't react. GLEN ...Shit man, loosen up! Don't ya get it? Hi looks over at the TV, which the bam-shouting six-year-old is banging with his stick. HI No Glen, I sure don't. GLEN Shit man, think about it! I guess it's what they call a Way Homer. HI Why's that? GLEN Cause you only get it on the Way Home. HI I'm already home, Glen. The kid in the cowboy hat is reaching up to slap Hi on the ass. KID You wetchaself! Mr. McDunnough wet hisseff, Daddy! GLEN Say, that reminds me! How'd you get that kid s'darned fast? Me'n Dottie went in to adopt on account of something went wrong with m'semen, and they told us five years' wait for a healthy white baby! I said healthy white baby! Five years! Okay, what else you got? Said, two Koreans and one Negro born with the heart outside... He takes a sip of beer. GLEN ...Yeah, it's a crazy world. HI Someone oughta sell tickets. GLEN Sure, I'd buy one. Hi is looking at another child who is just finishing off the T in FART in crayon on the wall. Glen chuckles, looking at his errant child. GLEN ...That Buford's a sly one. Already knows his ABCs. But I'm sayin', how'd ya get the kid? HI Well this whole thing is just who knows who and favoritism. Ed has a friend at one of the agencies. GLEN Well maybe she can do something for me'n Dot. See there's something wrong with m'semen. Say, that reminds me! What you gonna call him? HI Uh, Ed-Ed Jr. GLEN Thought you said he was a boy. HI Well, as in Edward. Just like that name. GLEN (not really interested) Yeah, it's a good one... Course I don't really need another kid, but Dottie says these-here are gettin' too big to cuddle. Say, that reminds me! The sound of shattering glass. Glen looks around. GLEN Mind ya don't cutchaseff, Mordecai... EXT. PICNIC GROUNDS Dot faces Hi and Ed across a picnic table covered with grilled hamburgers, rolls, green jello mold, cooler, etc. One of the younger children sits in the middle of the table, occasionally taking a fistful of jello and flinging it at Hi. The two women don't seem to notice. DOT ...and then there's diphtheria- tetanus, what they call dip-tet. You gotta get him dip-tet boosters yearly or else he'll get lockjaw and night vision. Then there's the smallpox vaccine, chicken pox and measles, and if your kid's like ours you gotta take all those shots first to get him to take 'em. Who's your pediatrician, anyway? ED We ain't exactly fixed on one yet. Have we Hi? Hi sits stock-still with a stony face. ED ...No, I guess we don't have one yet. Dot shrieks. DOT Well you just gotta have one! You just gotta have one this instant! ED Yeah, what if the baby gets sick, honey? DOT Hi, even if he don't get sick he's gotta have his dip-tet! ED He's gotta have his dip-tet, honey. Hi shrugs, then flinches as a piece of jello hits his shoulder. HI ...Uh-huh. DOT You started his bank accounts? ED Have we done that honey? We gotta do that honey. What's that for, Dot? DOT That-there's for his orthodonture and his college. You soak his thumb in iodine you might get by without the orthodonture, but it won't knock any off the college. Hi sits stoically. Dot is looking offscreen: DOT ...Reilly, take that diaper off your head and put it back on your sister!... Anyway, you probably got the life insurance all squared away. ED You done that yet honey? DOT You gotta do that, Hi! Ed here's got her hands full with that little angel! HI (dully) Yes ma'am. DOT What would Ed and the angel do if a truck came along and splattered your brains all over the interstate? Where would you be then? ED Yeah honey, what if you get run over? DOT Or you got carried off by a twister? LAKESIDE PATH We are tracking on Hi and Glen as they walk side by side. Glen is sopping wet, wearing only swimming suit and wing- tipped shoes. His body is ghostly pale except for a V-area at his neck and his arms below the short-sleeve line, which are a bright angry red. GLEN Hear about the person of the Polish persuasion he walks into a bar holdin' a pile of shit in his hands, says "Look what I almost stepped in." Glen bursts out laughing; Hi walks on in silence. HI ...Yeah, that's funny all right... GLEN Ya damn right it's funny! Shit man, what's the matter? HI I dunno... maybe it's wife, kids, family life... I mean are you, uh, satisfied Glen? Don't y'ever feel suffocated? Like, like there's somethin' big pressin' down... GLEN (solemnly) Eeeeeyep... I do know the feelin'. Hi shakes his head. HI Dunno- GLEN And I told Dottie to lose some weight but she don't wanna listen! He roars with laughter and slaps Hi heartily on the back. As he chuckles sympathetically: GLEN ...No man, I know what you mean. You got all kinds a responsibilities now. You're married, ya got a kid, looks like your whole life's set down and where's the excitement? HI Yeah Glen, I guess that's it. GLEN Okay! That's the disease, but there is a cure. HI Yeah? GLEN Sure; Doctor Glen is tellin' ya you can heal thyself. HI What do I gotta do? GLEN Well you just gotta broaden your mind a little bit. I mean say I asked you, what do you think about Dot? HI (puzzled) Fine woman you got there. Glen is eyeing him shrewdly. GLEN Okay. Now it might not look like it, but lemme tell you something: She's a hellcat. HI That right? GLEN T-I-G-E-R. HI But what's that got to do with- GLEN Don't rush me! He stops walking. Hi stops also, looking at Glen, Still puzzled. Glen lays a companionable hand on his shoulder. GLEN Now the thing about Dot is, she thinks- and she's told me this- He looks around as if to make sure they are not being overheard. His tone is confidential. GLEN ...she thinks... you're cute. Hi looks suspiciously at Glen's hand on his shoulder. HI ...Yeah...? Glen nods energetically: GLEN I'm crappin' you negative! And I could say the same about Ed! Through tightly clenched teeth: HI What're you talkin' about, Glen? GLEN What'm I talkin' about?! I'm talkin' about sex, boy! What the hell're you talkin' about?! You know, "L'amour"?! I'm talkin' me'n Dot are Swingers! As in "to Swing"! Wife-swappin'! What they call nowadays Open Marriage! Beaming, he takes his hand off Hi's shoulder and spreads his arms. GLEN I'm talkin' about the Sex Revolution! I'm talkin' about- THWAK - Hi's fist swings into frame to connect solidly with Glen's jaw. Glen's feet leave the ground. He flies back and lands in a heap. LOW-ANGLE REVERSE Glen in the foreground, groggily rubbing his jaw; Hi approaching menacingly. HI Keep your goddamned hands off my wife! GLEN Shit man! He is scrambling to his feet. GLEN ...I was only tryin' to help! HI Keep your goddamned hands off my wife! With Hi still advancing, Glen starts to run. TRACKING ON GLEN With Hi pursuing in the background. Glen is looking back over his shoulder to shout at Hi as he runs. GLEN You're crazy! I feel pity for you, man! You- CRASH! - Glen runs smack into a tree and drops like a sack of cement. INT. CAR NIGHT Hi is driving, his jaw rigidly set, his temple throbbing. Nathan Jr. sits in a safety seat between him and Ed. ED We finally go out with some decent people and you break his nose. That ain't too funny, Hi. HI (stolidly) His kids seemed to think it was funny. ED Well they're just kids, you're a grown man with responsibilities. Whatever possessed you? HI He was provokin' me when I popped him. ED How'd he do that? HI ...Never mind. ED But Hi, he's your foreman, he's just gonna fire you now. HI I expect he will. ED And where does that leave me and Nathan Jr.? HI With a man for a husband. He is pulling into a convenience store parking lot. ED That ain't no answer. HI Honey, that's the only answer. He puts the car in park but leaves it running. HI ...Nathan needs some Huggies. I'll be out directly. As he gets out of the car: HI ...Mind you stay strapped in. INT. STORE A hand enters to take a package of panty hose from the standing rack. CLOSE SHOT HUGGIES A hand enters to take a big carton of disposable diapers from the shelf. CLOSEUP CASHIER A pimply-faced lad with a paper 7-Eleven cap on his head. He is looking up from a dirty magazine, reacting in horror to something approaching. HI'S POV Hi is approaching the check-out island with a gun in one hand, the carton of Huggies tucked under the other. The L'Eggs stocking is pulled over his head to distort his features. HI I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got. CLOSE SHOT CASHIER'S HAND As he presses a silent alarm under the lip of his counter. EXT. CAR Ed is reading to Nathan Jr. from a large picture book. ED "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin- chin." Then I'll huff and I'll puff...' She pauses for a moment, listening. We can barely hear a distant siren. She resumes absently, but her voice trails off. ED "...and I'll blow your house in..." We can definitely hear the WHOO-WHOO of the siren now, and it is definitely approaching. Ed hooks an arm around the seat and looks behind the car, then looks forward. HER POV Indistinctly visible through the semi-reflective glass are two figures at the check-out island. One is pointing something at the other. BACK TO ED As the siren is growing louder. Under her breath: ED That son-of-a-bitch. She unstraps herself and gets out of the car. INT. STORE Two-shot of Hi and the CASHIER, who is stuffing bills into a grocery bag. Beyond them we can see Ed, outside, circling the front of the car. Her shout is muffled through the glass: ED You son-of-a-bitch! With this Hi notices her. He turns to the Cashier. HI Better hurry it up. I'm in dutch with the wife. But Ed is already getting into the driver's seat of the car. BACK TO ED As she slams the car door shut. The siren is quite loud now. ED That son-of-a-bitch. Hang on, pumpkin. The car squeals out of the lot. WIDE SHOT THE STREET The squad car tops a rise to bounce into view, its siren wailing. BACK TO THE STORE Hi bursts out the door, still wearing the stocking. The carton of Huggies is still tucked under one arm. Bellowing hopefully after his departing car: HI Honey! We hear the SMACK-CRACK of a gunshot and glass impact, but the approaching squad car is still too far down the block to have been the source. Hi looks around the parking lot, bewildered. The wailing siren is becoming painfully loud. Hi looks behind him at the plate-glass front of the store, where a bullet pock mars the glass. HIS POV Through the glass we see the pimply young Cashier with the paper 7-Eleven cap pop up from behind the counter to sight down his huge .44 Magnum for another shot. The gun is so big he uses both hands to heft it. SMACK-CRACK - the bullet kisses another hole in the glass. Hi is off and running. The squad car is screeching into the lot. An officer tumbles out of the passenger side before the car is fully stopped. He rolls on the pavement, then hurriedly rights himself and takes up a half-kneeling shooting stance. At the same time the little Cashier is emerging from the 7- Eleven with his gun. The two bang away at Hi's retreating figure - the Policeman's revolver popping, the Cashier's Magnum booming. We hear the Policeman who is still in the car drawling over its loudspeaker: SPEAKER Halt. It's a police warning, son. Put those groceries down and turn yourself in. TRACKING ON HI Legs pumping, panty hose still over his head, its unused leg streaming behind him like an aviator's scarf. The gun is tucked into his belt; the Huggies are tucked securely under his arm. Behind him we can see the OFFICER and the Cashier squeeze off another couple shots, and then the policeman piles back into the squad car. ED'S CAR Driving. She hears distant gunshots. ED That son of a bitch... Hold on, Nathan. We're gonna go pick up Daddy. She hangs a vicious U-turn. TRACKING ON HI Huffing and puffing down the road with his Huggies. The cop car careens onto the street in the background, its siren wailing. The PASSENGER COP is leaning far out his window, one hand gripping the light-and-siren rack, the other pointing a gun at Hi, shooting away. Bullets whizz past. Suddenly, with a soft pthunk! the Huggies box pops forward, out from under Hi's arm - hit by a bullet. Still running, Hi reaches forward, tries to catch it on the fly, bobbles it, tips it - loses it. He overruns it a couple steps before he can bring himself up short. He turns and reaches to pick up the box but - PING-PING - bullets chew up the road near his hand. Leaving the Huggies, Hi takes off through a well-manicured yard. The police car is proceeding on down the street to catch him around the corner, the driver still drawling over his loudspeaker: SPEAKER That's private property, son. Come back out to the street and reveal yourself to Officer Steensma and Officer Scott - that's me. YARD Hi vaults a fence to land in the backyard. As he straightens to his feet we hear a horrible snarling and barking. A huge black Doberman is bounding across the lawn. It looks like it means to rip Hi's throat out. LOW TRACKING SHOT TOWARD HI The dog's racing POV as it bounds toward the paralyzed Hi. The dog leaps - camera flying up toward Hi's face - and: CLOSE SHOT HI'S FROZEN PROFILE The dog's slavering muzzle flies into frame and - stops,