"In writing fiction, the more fantastic the tale, the plainer the prose should be. Don't ask your readers to admire your words when you want them to believe your story." - Ben Bova [ more quotes ]

FADE IN

EXT. SPACE

As we stare at thousands of stars, an unassuming voice
presents itself.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
My friend, Jack, says the universe
is infinite, which means that it has
no edge.

We move down, coming to rest on...

EXT. FRANK'S DINER - NIGHT

The starry sky dwarfs a desert highway and truck stop.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
But if the universe goes forever,
aren't we standing on the edge, right
now?

CUT TO:

INT. FRANK'S DINER - KITCHEN

The kitchen's lone occupant, round, unshaven FRANK, wears an
apron and paper hat. He finishes labeling a ziploc bag "LARD
9/28."

An OLD RADIO on the counter blares with the voice of a
SPORTSCASTER.

SPORTSCASTER (V.O.)
--Now Johnson's got it AND HE'S STILL
GOING!

Frank looks up, eager.

FRANK
Move, Johnson! Use both shoes!

SPORTSCASTER (V.O.)
He's going all the way! He's almost
there! It looks like--

--WEIRD STATIC interrupts the broadcast. It becomes an IRATE
VOICE, cursing in a nonsense language. Frank shakes the
radio in frustration.

FRANK
No! My favorite sporting event!

The radio GLOWS GREEN. Alarmed, Frank backs away.

He picks up his metal spatula and SMACKS at the radio with
it.

The GREEN GLOW shoots through the spatula and into his body.
Frank flies backward out of frame.

CUT TO:

INT. FRANK'S DINER - DINING ROOM

Closing time. PATRICE, waitress, puts a chair on a table.
She calls out to Frank.

PATRICE
You can shut the grill off, Frank,
I'm gonna start closing down.

Frank swings the kitchen door open. He's now wearing
sunglasses. FOG rolls out from behind him.

FRANK
Your kind is a disease. You have
infected this planet.

She turns to face him.

PATRICE
Frank, don't say that.

FRANK
I AM NO LONGER FRANK.

PATRICE
Who are you, then?

FRANK
The ape woman needs a label for
everything. Call me PARAGON. Call me
MASTER, you worthless, monkey whore.

He moves forward.

Patrice throws a ketchup squeeze bottle at him. Frank catches
it in one hand and laughs at her.

Patrice cowers backward into the the jukebox, which begins
playing Third Eye Blind's Semi-Charmed Kind.

FRANK
All monkey sluts shall be ABSORBED.

Frank lowers his glasses. His EYES GLOW GREEN.

The GLOW is reflected on Patrice's face as she SCREAMS.

PATRICE
NOOOOOOO!

FADE TO BLACK

[TITLE SEQUENCE: LAYERED SOUND AND IMAGES]

--A mission control voice: "Three, two, one." A ROCKET BLASTS
OFF. Deep, pounding music.

--JACK AUSTIN is in a pilot's seat, reacting to the G-force
with a raise of his eyebrow.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Jack Austin, American astronaut.

--A three-sectioned screen shows images of a rocket soaring
through space, Jack's face and the BLAZING SUN.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Exposed to inappropriate levels of
solar energy.

--Computer graphics: A human brain EXPANDS.

--[part of the super intelligence sequence:] Jack screams
beneath hundreds of exploding lightbulbs.

JACK (V.O.)
I... KNOW... EVERYTHING!!!!

--Jack is standing over a chess board, moving the white pieces
with his left hand, the black pieces with his right, hitting
the clocks with blinding speed. He seems bewildered by his
own ability.

SCIENTIST (V.O.)
Sunlight makes him the world's most
intelligent man!

--RON SILVER is on a car phone. A voice from the other end
says, "I want that brain taken out."

--In a white, hospital-like hallway, Jack sees Ron Silver
coming at him and runs away.

--Outside NASA, Jack runs through a door, followed by Ron.
Ron shoots an evil-looking ray gun. Jack ducks.

--A blonde man (we don't see his face) and the orange
motorcycle on which he's seated are ENGULFED in a blinding
FLASH.

--Computer graphics: a motorcycle ABSORBS a human body.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Heat Vision, a motorcycle with the
mind of Jack's unemployed roommate.

--Heat Vision's console. The dial turns to IGNITION. The
RPMs soar.

--Heat Vision pops a wheely.

--Far shot of Heat Vision and Jack moving toward one another,
their silhouettes meeting in the center, against a gigantic
SUN.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Together, they must run for their
lives, blocked at every turn by
adventure.

TITLE: HEAT VISION AND JACK

--Jack punches a werewolf across the face

--Jack makes out with a beautiful woman.

--Jack types on a computer keyboard in a dark office. The
screen says "ACCESSING MAINFRAME."

--Jack sword-fights with the Devil.

--Jack, naked, next to a GIGANTIC PENCIL. Realizing he's
been shrunken down, he looks at the pencil and SCREAMS.

--Jack stands in blackness, looking at us, smiling. TITLE:
JACK BLACK as JACK AUSTIN

--Close on a motorcycle tire peeling rubber.

--Heat Vision pops a wheely and hits a fat chef in the head
with his front tire.

--Two women kiss Heat on the sides of his headlamp.

--Heat Vision is parked in blackness. TITLE: OWEN WILSON as
the voice of HEAT VISION

--A metal NASA door SPLITS down the middle, revealing Ron
Silver. He marches forward as if he's going to kill us.
TITLE: RON SILVER as HIMSELF

[For a few brief notes, the music gets plinky and light
hearted as:]

--Jack and Heat Vision argue over a batch of burnt cookies--
Jack is wearing a lead apron with a radioactive symbol on
it.

[The music turns hard and studly again:]

--Heat Vision jumps over a car--by himself!

--An explosion.

--Jack leaps over a stack of cardboard boxes, tackling a
hood.

--Jack soars through the air toward us on Heat Vision, backlit
by the humongous sun.

FADE IN:

EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY - NIGHT

JACK speeds down the dark, open road. He's wearing a blue
NASA jumpsuit and yellow navigator shades.

JACK
Let me know when your tires start
wearing down, Heat Vision.

Whenever HEAT VISION, the motorcycle, speaks, his headlight
BLINKS.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
My wheels'll are fine, Jack, but I'm
starving.

Jack looks down to the FUEL GAUGE. It's nearing E.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Hey, remember when I was human, and
we ran out of gas in Tijuana and we
drank that cheap tequila and you
woke up with a 72 year old woman?

Jack squints ahead, trying to see the road. It's strobed,
due to Heat Vision's excited speech.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
And she followed us to the border
and the police wouldn't let you back
into America until you kissed her in
front of everybody--

JACK
--Be quiet. I can't see when you
talk.

CUT TO:

EXT. FRANK'S DINER - NIGHT

The lights inside are out, but the sign says "OPEN."

Jack and Heat pull in. The cycle's engine shuts off.

JACK
Now we can both fill up, uh?
(beat)
Who wants premium?

Long pause.

JACK
Heat Vision?

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
I was asked to be quiet.

CUT TO:

INT. FRANK'S DINER - DINING ROOM

Dark. Empty. As Jack enters, his eyebrow shoots up.
Something's amiss.

The jukebox is skipping: "Doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo
doo.." Jack walks to it and pulls the plug.

Heat Vision rolls to the diner's door and pushes halfway
through with his front tire.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Listen, I don't want to fight--

Jack walks to a light switch and flips it.

The place is trashed. Chairs have been scattered. The walls
are covered with smeared, red writing: "I AM PARAGON", "KNEEL
BEFORE ME", "YOUR MASTER HAS ARRIVED" and subtle variations.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Agh! What the (BLEEP) happened here?
Is that blood?

JACK
(dismissive)
The blood of tomatoes.

Jack crouches by a small pile of ASH. He examines a pinch
of it, sifting the powder through his fingers.

A waitress' pen is laying nearby. He picks it up.

JACK
Heat Vision: We've stumbled onto
the scene of a very unusual crime.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
We tend to do that, don't we?

CUT TO:

INT. FRANK'S DINER - KITCHEN

Jack enters through the swinging door and looks around.

The grill is hot. The spatula is fused to the radio.

SHERIFF (O.S.)
FREEZE!

From a back doorway, a beautiful SHERIFF has drawn her
revolver. Jack raises his hands, turning on the charm.

JACK
You shouldn't point those things at
people. They're dangerous.

SHERIFF
Only if I pull the trigger.

JACK
I wasn't talking about the gun.

SHERIFF
Neither was I.

They stand there a moment, confused by their own wit.

CUT TO:

EXT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

A HOOKER knocks on a door. FRANK opens it from the inside.
He's still wearing his apron and sunglasses.

HOOKER
You called for a date?

FRANK
Yes. Paragon will date you.

She steps inside the room. The door closes. Through the
curtained window, we see a green glow. The hooker SCREAMS.

CUT TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

The Sheriff closes the door on a jail cell. Jack is inside.

JACK
Where's Heat Vision?

SHERIFF
Locked up, just like you, until you
tell me who are you and where you've
been.

She folds her arms and sits on her desk, studying Jack in
his cell.

JACK
Nobody ever believes me.

SHERIFF
Try me.

JACK
My name is Jack Austin. I was an
astronaut.

FLASH CUT TO

SPACE

A retro-looking spacecraft soars through the cosmos.

JACK looks out a porthole, smiling pleasantly.

JACK (V.O.)
On my last mission, an orbital mix-
up brought me too close to the sun.

Jack's smile breaks into a look of shock as he sees--

The almighty SUN.

Jack clutches his head, screaming in agony. We cannot hear
him from outside.

BACK TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

JACK
As a result, I am now the most
intelligent man alive.

SHERIFF
(leading him on)
I didn't know it worked like that.

JACK
Think of the human brain as raw dough.
The sun is a giant oven. It caused
my mind to rise and expand.

SHERIFF
You don't seem so smart.

JACK
I need solar energy. At night, I'm
no more intelligent than you.

SHERIFF
So, what happens when I get on that
phone, and NASA tells me--

Jack's eyes bug out. He runs at the bars, startling her.

JACK
--NO! Never call NASA. They've already
got a man tracking me down. A very,
very dangerous man.

FLASH CUT TO

INT. NASA HEADQUARTERS

A metal door, bearing the NASA logo, splits open. RON SILVER
marches toward us, threateningly.

JACK (V.O.)
His name is Ron Silver. Like me, a
former astronaut, but also a gifted
actor... and a cold blooded killer.

BACK TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

The Sheriff nods her head, pretending to mull this over.

SHERIFF
Ron Silver. Got it. Say, let me ask
you a question, Jack. How "high" did
your "rocket ship" take you before
you got "totally baked?"

Jack gives her a disappointed look. The phone rings. She
chuckles as she stands and heads for it.

CUT TO:

EXT. FRANK'S DINER - NIGHT

A dirty, cigar chomping MECHANIC bunjee cords Heat Vision to
the bed of a pick-up truck (Heat facing the tailgate).

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
You're taking me to jail, right?
Jack and I have to stick together.

The mechanic is startled. He taps the bike's headlamp.

MECHANIC
What'll those Koreans think of next?

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
(protesting)
I was born in Iowa.

MECHANIC
Well, you're gonna die in the junk
yard.

The mechanic laughs at himself--until Heat Vision ROARS to
life. The rear tire SPINS, SMOKING. The bunjee cords SNAP as
Heat REARS UP like an angry horse.

The mechanic SCREAMS and dives aside. When he looks up, he
sees--

--Heat Vision racing down the desert highway!

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
(trailing off)
You're a very rude person!

The mechanic gets to his feet and scratches his head through
his hat, still chomping the cigar, impressed.

MECHANIC
I gotta quit inhaling spray paint.

CUT TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

The Sheriff is still talking on the phone.

SHERIFF
I'll be right there.

She hangs up and grabs her coat, looking at Jack.

SHERIFF
Were you at the Lazy Seven motel
tonight?

He shakes his head.

JACK
Is that where they found the next
pile of ash? Be careful, Sheriff.
Based on what I saw at that diner,
I'd say "Paragon" is not of this
world.

SHERIFF
Good thing I've got you around.

JACK
I won't be here much longer. At
sunrise, I'll be so intelligent, no
cell will be able to hold me.

SHERIFF
(smile)
Careful on your way out. I hardly
ever feed Gary.

She nods to an unleashed German shepherd, laying in the
corner. Sensing that it's being looked at, Gary looks up and
growls.

The Sheriff walks out.

Jack sits down on his cot, trying to think.

HEAT VISION (O.S.)
Psst! Pssst!

He looks to his cell's window, where Heat Vision's blinking
headlight can be seen.

Jack smiles, relieved and runs to the window.

JACK
Heat Vision. You've got to help me.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
I can't get in there, man. Doorknobs,
remember?

Dejected, Jack looks past Heat to the horizon. The sky is
streaked with orange.

JACK
Come on, you big ball of gas, light
my darkest hour.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Okay.

JACK
Not you.

CUT TO:

INT. MOTEL ROOM

Completely trashed, ash everywhere. "KNEEL BEFORE PARAGON"
is written on the mirror in lipstick.

The Sheriff is waiting for a DOCTOR to finish examining
something under a microscope.

DOCTOR
This is very, very strange. These
ashes are dehydrated human tissue.

SHERIFF
Are you saying someone removed the
water from six missing prostitutes?

DOCTOR
That would be one theory.
(bemused)
If that technology existed outside
of... comic books and rap music.

RON SILVER (O.S.)
Hi, there.

RON SILVER, suit clad, stands in the doorway. He holds up a
NASA ID.

RON SILVER
I need to ask a few questions. My
name is Ron Silver.

The Sheriff is shocked. The Doctor snaps three times and
points at Ron.

DOCTOR
I just rented Timecop. You were the
bad guy in Timecop.

Ron gives the Doctor a warm smile and nod.

RON SILVER
Acting is one of my more enjoyable
diversions.
(severe)
However, right now, what I'd really
like to do is find a man named Jack
Austin.

He holds up a photo of Jack (Jack Black's headshot) and smiles
at the Sheriff.

SHERIFF
I... How exactly do you know Mr.
Austin?

RON SILVER
He's a test subject. We were
researching the effects of zero
gravity... On the mentally ill.
(fighting impatience)
Am I to take it you know where he
is?

Off the Sheriff's look, we...

CUT TO:

INT. POLICE STATION

Jack is standing in the middle of his cell, facing the window.
He holds his arms out at his sides, waiting.

A ray of sunlight shoots between the bars, terminating at
Jack's feet. The sun ray moves up to his feet, knees, crotch,
chest, and...

We ZOOM into Jack's eye as his face is washed with the dawn's
mighty kiss.

CUT TO:

TRADEMARK SUPER INTELLIGENCE SEQUENCE

Physics diagrams, brain X-rays, Rodin's The Thinker, An
eclipse, a naked Jack, a LOT of light bulbs, but mostly
"E=mc2." Jack's distant inner voice can be heard, shouting:
"I KNOW EVERYTHING!"

BACK TO:

INT. POLICE STATION

A diabolical smile spreads across Jack's face.

He turns and looks at Gary the German shepherd through the
bars. The dog growls. Jack pulls the ballpoint pen from his
pocket and twists it apart.

JACK
German shepherd. Breed perfected in
Germany, 1900. Distinguishing trait:
obedience.

Jack holds half the disassembled pen to his lips and carefully
blows one high note.

The shepherd bolts upright, ears perked.

Jack blows another note. The dog wags its tail.

Jack blows two different notes. The dog starts licking itself.
Jack seems satisfied.

JACK
Listen carefully, Gary. I need you
to--
(blows into pen)
--and then--
(blows a succession
of notes)
Thanks.

Gary goes to the wall, stands on his hind legs and grabs the
keys with his mouth. He brings the keys to Jack, who uses
them to unlock the cell.

Gary growls at Jack. Jack blows a harsh note into the pen.
Gary starts walking in a tight circle and doesn't stop.

CUT TO:

EXT. POLICE STATION - MORNING

Heat Vision is waiting outside the door, revving while saying,
"vroom, vroom." Jack runs out and leaps on.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Let's blow this town, Jack.

JACK
Not yet.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
What? You just broke out of jail!

JACK
Knowledge is power. Power takes
action. There's a paranormal evil in
this town and I have to stop it from
killing again.

The bike sighs heavily, then peels into the distance. Shortly
after, the Sheriff's squad car pulls in.

CUT TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - MORNING

The Sheriff walks in with Ron Silver. She's laughing.

RON SILVER
How do Klingons board their spaceship?

SHERIFF
How?

She stops laughing, looking around.

RON SILVER
They Klingon. What's wrong?

The empty cell's door hangs open, keys in the lock. Gary the
German shepherd is still spinning in circles.

SHERIFF
Gary?

Gary stops spinning, then lays on his back, moaning.

SHERIFF
He escaped.

Ron walks into the station, looking around. The pleasant
smile melts from his face.

RON SILVER
Did he say which way he'd be heading?
East? West?
(yelling)
NORTH? SOUTH? HUH? ARAGH!

He KICKS her desk ACROSS the room. The Sheriff becomes
alarmed.

SHERIFF
Ron, take it easy.

He whirls and points at her.

RON SILVER
No, YOU take it easy, MA'AM. Honey.
You just sicked a very dangerous man
on the world.

He heads for the door.

SHERIFF
Wait a second, I have questions--

She grabs his arm. He GRABS her by the throat. He LIFTS her
from the floor with one hand.

RON SILVER
--Take your questions... and stick
them. Where the sun does not shine.

He tosses her back a few feet. She stumbles to the floor. He
turns his back on her, again heading out.

She draws her gun and cocks the hammer. He stops walking,
but doesn't turn around.

RON SILVER
If I feel so much as one bullet hit
me, I'll come over there, and I'll
pull your lungs through your nostrils.

He walks out.

Gun trembling, the Sheriff lays on the floor of her empty
office, next to her dizzy dog. Her world has just peeled
open.

FADE TO BLACK

END OF ACT

CUT TO:

CRAPPY FREEZE FRAME

Of the HEAT VISION and JACK title from the opening sequence.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Stick around, Heat Seekers. Jack and
I'll be back in a hot flash.
(beat)
Get it?

FADE IN

EXT. FRANK'S DINER - MORNING

Sectioned off with yellow police ribbon. Heat Vision is parked
at the gas pump. The nozzle is tucked into his tank, the
trigger on auto.

HEAT VISION
Ah. Mmmmm. Yeah. Oh yeah.

CUT TO:

INT. FRANK'S DINER - KITCHEN

Jack is staring at the burnt out radio and spatula. He takes
a thoughtful bite of a sandwich.

He finishes an INCREDIBLY COMPLEX diagram on a yellow legal
pad. It is filled from edge to edge with cryptic formulas
and phrases, but mainly features a radio, spatula and chef.

The Sheriff enters through the same back door as before.

SHERIFF
I thought I'd find you here.

Seeing her, Jack raises his hands in surrender.

JACK
Before you arrest me, Let me just
say one thing.
(beat)
A chef and a waitress are missing.
In lieu of the waitress, a pile of
ash. In lieu of the chef? Thin air.
He left the kitchen alive, and he
left in a hurry. The grill was still
on, a bag of lard left on the counter.
Look at the R in lard. Drawn from
the top, then down, then up again.
The R's in Paragon are "simple
circuit," drawn from the bottom up.
The fingerprints in the ketchup match
the fingerprints on this spot-welded
spatula. So our chef walked away
from an electric dynamo with different
penmanship and a kooky name? How
strange. For a human.

The Sheriff shakes her head, winded.

CUT TO:

EXT. FRANK'S DINER - MORNING

Heat Vision makes a final, refreshed sound and pulls away
from the gas pump.

HEAT VISION
That's better.

Heat makes a U-turn, then stops abruptly.

FRANK is standing in front of the motorcycle, still wearing
his apron and sunglasses.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Hey. It's a big desert. Do we have
to stand in the same spot?

FRANK
Give me directions to the Treasure
Chest.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
I'm from out of town, cookie.
(beat)
Wait a minute. Do you work here?
Were you here last night?

FRANK
(stiffly)
Well, I, uh--

--Frank HISSES and raises his sunglasses, revealing his
glowing green eyes.

CUT TO:

INT. FRANK'S DINER - KITCHEN

JACK
Paragon is an alien life form,
broadcast as a unique frequency. He
came through the radio, and is using
the chef's body as an antenna.

SHERIFF
Jack. Ron Silver came to see me.

Hearing the name, Jack's smug face melts into terror.

HEAT VISION (O.S.)
Jack! JACK! JACK!

JACK
Heat Vision!

CUT TO:

EXT. FRANK'S DINER - MORNING

Jack runs out the front door, through the web of yellow police
ribbon. The Sheriff is close behind.

Heat Vision is facing the door, waiting. He now turns his
forks to the side, gesturing.

HEAT VISION
That fat guy tried to zap me with
his freaky eyes!

The Sheriff looks at the talking motorcycle, bug eyed. Jack
looks down the highway and sees the plump, aproned man running
away.

Jack leaps onto Heat Vision.

JACK
Heat Vision: Forward!

Heat peels a doughnut, spraying the Sheriff with dirt.

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

Frank is running down the middle of the road like a robot.
Heat Vision and Jack are speeding toward him.

Frank runs off the road into the DESERT.

CUT TO:

EXT. DESERT - DAY

Amidst a labyrinth of jutting rocks, Frank runs into a
clearing. Jack and Heat catch up to him.

Jack LEAPS off his bike, TACKLING Frank. Heat speeds out of
the clearing.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
I'll be right there, I can't back
up!

Jack rolls and gets to his feet, combat ready. Frank stands,
hands at his sides.

FRANK
Pathetic human. Prepare to join
Paragon's energy.

JACK
JACK ATTACK!

Jack makes a very serious martial arts gesture.

Frank whips off his glasses, revealing his deadly, glowing
eyes.

Jack begins to shake. He screams and GLOWS GREEN.

Popping a wheely, HEAT VISION ROARS into the clearing, HITTING
FRANK in the HEAD with his front tire.

Frank is sufficiently distracted.

Jack falls to his knees. The green glow fades. Heat Vision
circles for another pass at the chef.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
You mess with a man, you mess with
his bike!

Heat charges. Frank steps aside and PUSHES him over, then
runs away.

Jack is in a trembling fetal position when the Sheriff runs
to him, gun drawn.

SHERIFF
Jack! Are you okay?

JACK
Electron... dispersal...

Jack, aided by the Sheriff, walks to his helpless bike.

JACK
Heat Vision?

HEAT VISION
He pushed me over.

Jack grabs Heat Vision's handlebars and lifts him upright.

SHERIFF
He got away?

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
(defensive)
He pushed me over.

Jack pats Heat on the fuel tank.

JACK
Okay, buddy. Okay.

CUT TO:

EXT. SHERIFF'S HOUSE - DAY

Heat Vision is parked in the Sheriff's driveway, next to the
squad car. Neighborhood children are gathered around it,
giggling.

Heat Vision makes a raspberry sound. The kids giggle and
back up, then step toward him again. Heat Vision makes another
raspberry sound. The kids giggle and back up.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE - DAY

Jack and the Sheriff are drinking a cup of coffee, watching
Heat through the window.

SHERIFF
We should be safe here. It's my
sister's house, she's on tour in
Cuba.
(regarding Heat)
He acts so human. How long did it
take you to build him?

JACK
I didn't. Heat Vision's an accident,
like me.
(off her look)
After I got back to Earth, NASA had
me under lock and key. When they
found out what happened to my brain,
they decided to remove it.

FLASH CUT TO

INT. WHITE HALL

Some kind of hospital area at NASA. Jack sneaks to a red,
wall mounted phone and picks it up.

JACK (V.O.)
I was quite literally too smart for
them. Hip to their jive, I called my
roommate, Doug, and asked him to
come pick me up.

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT

We are behind DOUG, a young blonde man, seated on a ratty
couch, watching Dr. Who on TV. He's speaking on the phone,
but we can't see his face.

Doug hangs up the phone, grabs a pair of blue shades and
runs for the door. As he opens it, we see HEAT VISION parked
outside.

CUT TO:

INT. WHITE HALL

Satisfied, Jack hangs up the phone. Then, he sees--

RON SILVER appearing around a corner, far down the hall,
searching for Jack.

CUT TO:

EXT. NASA HEADQUARTERS - PARKING LOT

Doug PULLS UP on Heat Vision, smoking a cigarette. He has
his back to us.

JACK (V.O.)
During the escape, Doug was shot
with an experimental ray.

Jack bursts through a door, running for his life. Behind
him, Ron Silver emerges, toting a horrible looking weapon
(two-handed).

In slo-mo: Doug points. Jack ducks. Ron shoots the gun. A
ray STRIKES Doug and Heat Vision in a blinding FLASH.

BACK TO:

INT. HOUSE - DAY

Jack is washing their coffee cups in the sink. The Sheriff
is sitting down, rapt.

JACK
He merged with his bike. Doug died
that day, and Heat Vision was born.

SHERIFF
He seems okay with it.

HEAT VISION (O.S.)
Let's just say I'm adjusting.

Startled, the Sheriff sees Heat Vision pushing his way through
the front door.

JACK
You learn to accept things when you're
on the run. If fate makes you a
motorcycle, you become a motorcycle.

She stands up.

SHERIFF
Does the same go for you?

JACK
I'm not a motorcycle.

She walks to behind him.

SHERIFF
You never get tired of running? You
never have to... stop for gas?

He turns and looks at her.

JACK
Sometimes I do.

He strokes her cheek. In the living room, Heat Vision looks
around.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
This is a great place. Your sister
must be rich.

Jack and the Sheriff aren't listening to him.

JACK
The gas always lives to regret it.
There's a spark, an explosion, then
I move forward, and the gas is
consumed. Exhausted.

SHERIFF
Do you promise?

They kiss passionately. A searing, TRADEMARK HEAT VISION
FILM BURN transition...

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE - BEDROOM

The Sheriff is sleeping soundly beneath the covers. She turns
over, laying her arm across the pillow next to her, then
wakes up.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

Heat Vision is parked next to the couch, watching Dr. Who on
television. The Sheriff enters, wrapped in blankets.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Hey.

SHERIFF
Hey.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
I wanted to go outside, but there
was no room to turn around.

SHERIFF
Don't worry about it.

Jack enters from the kitchen, putting the finishing touch on
an insane-looking device, built from a boombox, wired and
duct taped to a spatula and mini-satellite dish.

SHERIFF
What's that?

JACK
The silver bullet. Paragon kills by
setting up a kind of feedback that
vibrates the energy from his victim's
body. He uses the optic nerve as a
main channel. That's why he couldn't
turn Heat Vision into ashes. Heat
got no eyes.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
It's true.

JACK
During that moment of feedback, he's
vulnerable to a reversal of the
process. Next time we see him, I'm
gonna get crazy on him, hard style,
because I owe him. Once I knock his
glasses off, all you have to do is
tap him with this.

He holds up the spatula.

JACK
The alien goes into the boombox, and
the dish disperses the signal.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Para-gone.

JACK
Now we just have to find him.

Sheriff addresses Heat Vision, speaking loudly and slowly.

SHERIFF
Heat Vision, did Paragon say anything
when you talked to him?

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Uhhhh... WAIT! Yeah, he DID! He wanted
directions to a treasure chest!

JACK
Heat, don't be sarcastic.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
No, I'm serious. That's what he said.

SHERIFF
(realizing)
The Treasure Chest!

CUT TO:

EXT. TREASURE CHEST STRIP BAR - DAY

Your standard highway-side strip bar. A sexy woman with a
wooden leg and eye patch graces the sign.

CUT TO:

INT. TREASURE CHEST STRIP BAR

It's lunch time--a few regular drunks are hunched over the
bar, and a few introverts are seated around the runway.

Two POOL PLAYERS in hard hats are alarmed to hear a scream
from O.S. They look to see--

--Frank, standing up from a seat in a dark corner, a pile of
ashes sifting off his lap.

FRANK
All monkey tramps dance on Paragon's
lap.

POOL PLAYER 1
Hey, that guy disintegrated Jasmine!

The pool player runs at Frank with his cue. Frank lowers his
glasses and DISINTEGRATES him mid-stride.

POOL PLAYER 2
HEY!

The second pool player grabs a billiard ball from the table
and THROWS it.

Frank ducks, then lowers his glasses and ZAPS him, too. The
stripper on the runway screams.

Frank turns and looks up at her.

FRANK
I'll teach you inferior women to
reject PARAGON.

He reaches for his glasses.

HEAT VISION CRASHES through the bar's wall. Jack is riding
him, with the Sheriff on the back. They both leap off the
bike.

The Sheriff is holding Jack's cosmic boombox device.

JACK
Nobody look at this man!

Jack and the Sheriff remove special, Jack-made blinder glasses
from their pockets and put them on.

Frank is upset to see Jack again.

FRANK
Paragon will DESTROY you.

They run at each other and clash in a flurry of mutually
blocked swipes.

Frank ends the exchange by removing Jack's glasses and SHOVING
him backward.

Jack quickly reaches O.S. and yanks a stripper's top off. He
ties it around his eyes like a ninja's blindfold.

They go at it again, grappling each other in a Star Trek
style battle.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
To your left, Jack! Now club him on
the back! Use the double-fist!

The customers in the bar all begin shouting out with Heat.
The Sheriff has her glasses lowered, waiting for the right
moment.

Unseen to anyone else, RON SILVER walks through the hole
left in the wall by Heat Vision. Seeing Jack, he walks briskly
across the bar, a determined look on his face.

Frank punches Jack across the jaw. Jack punches Frank across
the jaw, then the gut.

Then, with a devastating hook, KNOCKS FRANK'S GLASSES off.

Wasting no time, Jack, still blindfolded, gets behind Frank
and holds his arms.

JACK
Now!

The Sheriff prepares to move in with the boom box device
when she sees RON SILVER walk past her. He's heading for
Jack, drawing a HUMONGOUS SPACE GUN from a shoulder holster.

With no time to think, the Sheriff SMASHES the boom box over
Ron Silver's head. The boom box falls next to him, shattered
into useless pieces. Stunned, Ron turns slowly to face her.
She draws her gun and sticks it in his face.

Heat Vision slips behind Silver as he backs away from the
Sheriff. Ron stumbles over the bike. The Sheriff gets out
her handcuffs.

SHERIFF
Drop it, Silver!

Jack, blindfolded, is confused.

JACK
Silver?

Eyes glowing, Frank RIPS away from Jack in a burst of anger.

He grabs Jack and THROWS him across the room. Jack hits the
bottom of the stripper pole, knocking it out of the runway.

The DJ cowers as one end of the pole SPEARS his sound system
in a shower of sparks.

Jack slides to a stop on the runway. Dazed, he pulls down
his bra blindfold.

Frank steps onto the runway, smiling, eyes glowing.

The Sheriff finishes handcuffing Ron Silver to the bar, and
sees Frank moving in for the kill.

SHERIFF
No!

She empties her revolver into Frank. Each shot leaves a green,
glowing hole, which promptly seals shut.

Frank heads for Jack.

Jack looks at the stripper pole. One end is at his feet. The
other is anchored in the sparking sound system.

Without looking, Jack KICKS the other end of the pole toward
the approaching Frank. Frank catches it.

Jack looks at the freaked out DJ.

JACK
PRESS RECORD!

The DJ hits RECORD on the tape deck.

Frank's eyes glow bright. He starts shaking. He glows green.

FRANK'S ENTIRE BODY DISINTEGRATES, then SHOOTS through the
pole into the tape deck.

All is quiet again.

The DJ ejects the smoking tape from the deck and holds it
up, looking at Jack.

DJ
Do you want me to label this?

CUT TO:

EXT. TREASURE CHEST STRIP BAR - DUSK

Two strippers are sitting on Heat Vision while a friend takes
a picture. They bounce up and down, giggling.

HEAT VISION
(chuckling)
Oooookay. You have no idea what you're
doing.

Jack and the Sheriff walk toward the bike. They stop and
look off:

The sun is being swallowed by the horizon. The sky is dark
orange.

SHERIFF
I love sunsets.

JACK
I don't.

He holds up the cassette tape.

JACK
Be very careful with this. Paragon's
glide-sustaining ions have been
neutralized by the cassette's residual
magnetism, but his protophotonic
pattern is still... together... on
the... thing. I recommend you dispose
of this tape in the proper...
(frowns, concentrates)
Dispose of it in the proper method.

SHERIFF
How's that?

JACK
Uh. I.

The sun is gone. Jack shakes his head and shrugs.

JACK
Throw it away.

The strippers get off of Heat Vision.

SHERIFF
If you stay... I could help you.

He scoffs at the notion.

JACK
I've tried to tell my story to
journalists, I've tried to make
friends, I've tried to open up to
women.
(cracking)
And they've died.
(swallowing)
It's dark, now. I've got to ride.

He kisses her.

SHERIFF
So long, Jack.

JACK
So long, Sheriff.

He walks to his bike and climbs on.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
She was a little clingy.

JACK
Heat Vision: Forward. We've burnt
our daylight.

Heat revs his engine and zooms away.

The Sheriff watches them disappear. She smiles, shakes her
head and throws the tape into a public garbage can.

CUT TO:

INT. TREASURE CHEST STRIP BAR

She draws her gun as she enters the trashed bar.

SHERIFF
Alright, Silver, now you're go--

Her handcuffs are dangling from the bar. She looks around
the club, worried.

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

Ron Silver speeds down the road in a black sedan, talking on
a cell phone.

RON SILVER
Yes sir. I'm right behind him. No, I
can't see him, I mean I'm one step
behind him.

He hangs up the phone.

RON SILVER
You can't run forever, Jack. Not
from death. Not from your shadow.
Not from Ron Silver.

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

Jack ZOOMS down the desert road, wind in his hair, regret in
his eyes.

HEAT VISION (V.O.)
Jack says the Earth's shape is
mankind's curse, because we can never
reach our horizon. I say a round
planet is a gift. We can move forward
forever, and find a different horizon
every week. Goodnight.

FADE TO BLACK

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